lol this reminds me of when i still lived w my parents and i used to steal my mothers tweezers and she'd crashout while frantically searching for her tweezers while screaming at everyone in the house😅✌️ sorry ma🩷
guilts and admissions. glitter chapter fourteen. ☆ : ･ﾟ✧ *
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synopsis: as you find yourself stuck on a deserted island, you meet five boys who happened to be living there. you begin to notice something different about the boys as you attempt to find a way back home. with no sense of boundaries and strange glitter all over their bodies, your curiosity of who or what these boys are peaks. you begin getting close to the strangers, them helping you on your journey, but it leads you into a spiral of your own thoughts and emotions. now feeling some sort of connection to the five boys, the question begs: will you even end up leaving? if not, which boy makes you stay?
pairing(s): txt individually x gn!reader
chapter warning(s): profanity, angst, trauma mentions, mentions of murder, death, injuries, panic attacks, talks of child neglect, nightmares, being alone, drowning scene, let me know if i missed anything, ~3.7k words
several hours passed before you deemed it safe enough to return to the home. unfortunately, the first sight you see was beomgyu and his intensively red eyes staring right at you as you entered inside.
his body still trembles from the trauma he had to relive, and you immediately curse yeonjun at the confirmation that he was indeed lying. but still, your eyes don’t move from the mind fairy curled up in the corner of the room and his tears threaten to fall once more upon seeing you.
you were filled with guilt and regret for making beomgyu relive certain memories he was not ready for, and frankly, did not consent to. and despite this mission giving you an extensive amount of information you needed to get back home, you never intended for something like this to happen.
you never intended for one of your friends to get hurt in the process of getting you home.
even though his posture was lacking stability, beomgyu was the first one to speak. after a small moment passed after you walked in, his tone is nervous and filled with sorrow, “there was a notebook. one with a lot of information about portals.”
you lock eyes with the fairy once more before approaching him for an embrace, but instead of happily obliging like he usually would, he only winces and turns away.
“what information did it give us?” taehyun speaks from the kitchen, walking closer with a cup of water and some snacks to help ground beomgyu a bit more.
but he doesn’t reply. he couldn’t make another word without experiencing the moment once more. not doing so quietly encouraged you to continue on his behalf.
“portals can be man-made or natural, depending if destiny deems it worthy,” you recall, voice gentle as not to provoke anything painful for the mind fairy. “it’s a wild concept honestly. portals being created by destiny and all.”
“but that’s something that happened with us, is it not?” yeonjun butts in from the sofa. “none of our portals were made by us, and we just so happened to be in the right place at the right time.”
“correct,” you add, nodding slowly. “from what we saw, man-made ones are intentional portals that are made by some organizations called the fairy hunters and fairy keepers.”
“interesting… but what does this really tell us? we can’t make them by hand so we need the ones being made by destiny, right? how can we work with those in getting you back home?” yeonjun continues pressing on for more information, a slight confusion being written on his face.
all they have done for you is help you find your way home. but as you look toward beomgyu again, you feel as though all you have brought to them is stress and agony.
you’re filled with dread that anything more painful might occur. these five fairies mean a lot to you, and you’re constantly reminded about how much they care about you in return.
it makes the pain in your heart linger much harder.
“we could potentially recreate the same conditions as when they got here,” taehyun adds, handing beomgyu a basket of strawberries to eat. “same temperature, weather, etcetera. it would take a long while to recall and get it right, though. i’m sure that even if we do get the conditions right, if destiny does not allow, it has the possibility of not working.”
“me and yn came to the same conclusion.. about recreating the conditions. they said it was raining outside when they got transported through, didn’t you yn?” soobin sits down on the sofa next to the eldest. “so if we were to give it a chance, on the slightest possibility it could work, then we would have to wait until the rain comes.”
“now why would we do all of this in the rain? it could be dangerous, you know! the tides get higher when there’s a storm,” kai exclaims in slight fear from the door. “weather like that could harm us more than anything, soobin-hyung.”
soobin presses his lips together, “but what if it works, hyuka? we could get them home.”
“and what if it doesn’t?! what if this is all just some stupid mess that could lead to another one of us being traumatized or even worse, dead!”
the reality of kai’s statement brings everyone to a pause. it was a slight overreaction, but nonetheless a possible outcome with the conditions at hand.
sensing the tense atmosphere, the youngest breathes in through his nose and out from his mouth while gripping his star necklace tightly, “i like our little family of six, okay? i admit i am comfortable with where things are at now. i also know how much you want to get home, yn… i understand. but i just can’t shake the feeling of things going wrong, you know?”
“…i agree,” beomgyu speaks for the first time since the beginning of the conversation. “besides we don’t have much information about the water surrounding the island and of the conditions that brought you here in their entirety, yn.”
“but what if it does work?” you ask meekly, tears filling your own eyes as you struggle to decide on what to do. “i don’t care if i get hurt. i’m okay with that, as long as we try something… anything at this point.”
and despite most of the boys telling you how difficult the situation will be, how next to little everyone knows about how to get you home, a nagging feeling in your chest begins to arise. one that gives you a sense of urgency to leave.
not everyone can say that family is of most importance. a loyal, love-filled, and trustworthy relationship with those most close to you. but to huening kai, family is everything.
“i brought some flowers!” he beamed, dozens of beautiful flowers and foliage in his arm as he rushes to his sister’s side. “some of them i picked, and others were given to me by this lovely old lady nearby.”
bahiyyih beams in delight. her eyes growing wide at the color and size variety given by the messy bouquet, “did you give her your thanks?”
“of course i did,” the brother laughs gently, placing the flowers on the ground nearby his sister. “i told her how much you enjoy making those flower crowns and she just so happened to have a lot of them stockpiled from her gardening session. said something about the flowers blooming too fast for an old lady like her to handle.”
the sister giggles and reaches to look at some of the offerings, “i will definitely be making a wreath or something for her. does she live far?”
“definitely not. nearby the lake where we like to bathe.”
“perfect.”
love languages are those different forms of loving those around you, whether they be family or not. they consist of being in close proximity to the other like physical affection, or even giving and receiving affirming words from someone.
huening kai’s love language was gift giving. and he showed this with his sister more often than not. this came in the form of giving her flowers he picked during his stroll, sweet treats he bought from the market that morning, and books he’s borrowed from neighbors. anything that bahiyyih liked, she got.
family is built on love, is it not?
“so you know that merchant down by the hillside?” kai smiles goofily, clearly hiding something behind his back as he rocks on his heels waiting for his sister to respond.
“yes… what’s his name again?” bahiyyih doesn’t look up from the woven structure she is currently working on. “oh! jungwon, isn’t it?”
“yes, anyway. he finally had some books in stock this week! and i was able to snatch up a book on herbal med—”
“no way!” she screams as she rushes to grab the book from behind her brother’s back, not letting him even finish his sentence. “no way no way no way!”
kai laughs as he easily gives in and lets bahiyyih see the book he’s purchased for her, “i know how much you’ve been wanting to learn about medicine.”
“of all the things you have ever gotten me, kai. this one beats them all! thank you so so so much!” if her voice did not showcase how elated she was about receiving this book, the tears in her eyes definitely did.
and that is how kai nurtured his family. exploring the area nearby while looking for resources and always finding gifts to bring home to his sister. no matter the situation or circumstances they were in, the older brother always found a reason to see his sister smile.
it was a strong, loving familial bond between the two siblings. something so strong, nothing could ever break it down.
“sometimes when i lay at night, i think about that night… about how lucky i am still have you, oppa,” bahiyyih whispers under the moonlight with her brother next to her as they stare into the stars.
kai manages a small, knowing smile, “it’s not easy when memories flood your nightmares. i know, hiyyih.”
she only nods and leans her head against his shoulder, “i got you something. it’s nothing.. too extravagant or anything. and definitely nothing as meaningful as the gifts you’ve brought me.”
“a gift..? for me?” the brother whispers into her hair before pressing a gentle kiss onto her skull.
“mmm,” bahiyyih nods. “a friend of mine wanted to get a crown and didn’t have any coins as payment, so i agreed to a trade.”
as she finishes her sentence, the moonlight flickers onto a piece of jewelry in her hand. jewelry was definitely a rare find in their small village, and one look at the necklace with a star pendant, kai deemed it uniquely beautiful.
he reaches for the necklace gently, as if scared to ruin it to pieces with his unruly strength, “it’s so beautiful, hiyyih.”
she helps him put it on and smiles, “now when you’re out late at night exploring for resources for us, you can look at the necklace and still feel at home.”
“what do you mean you don’t care if you get hurt?” taehyun rises from his spot next to beomgyu, a hint of confusion and anger lingering on his face and tone of voice. “how can you say something like that, yn? we’re trying our best to get you home safely, you can’t disregard that no matter how you feel.”
you hesitate for a moment before replying, “i am not trying to disregard the care you have for me. i understand you want me safe. but i need to get home. i can’t wait any longer if it means bringing all of you pain.”
the heaviness in your heart becomes stronger despite your emotions being let out into the open, “i don’t like how much stress i’ve caused here. i want to get home.”
“okay, i understand what you mean, yn. but the point isn’t about getting you there safely or not,” yeonjun stands up from the sofa this time, eyebrows furrowed. “it is about getting you there to begin with. we are not even sure if our theories are correct. they are just speculation. what if you do get injured and it was all for nothing?”
“then at least we tried something!” you yell, nearly interrupting the fairy in front of you.
that brings another silence into the room.
your sudden desperation to leave was alarming to everyone. you seemed happy here and despite what occurred with beomgyu, none of the boys really understood why you needed to leave so urgently.
“this isn’t just about getting home so we don’t get hurt, isn’t it?” beomgyu speaks up and softly at that, finally getting on his feet to approach you. “talk to us, yn. tell us the real reason you feel so desperate to return to your home in these uncertain conditions.”
you swallow thickly in attempt to down the lump that is stuck in your throat, your eyes avoiding the five pairs staring straight at you awaiting a response. but nothing comes from your mouth. that sense of urgency is so clear within the room, but no one senses your next actions.
instead of leaning onto the boys who have shown you nothing but kindness and admiration, you run out the door.
“yn!”
you don’t turn back to see who reacts first. you can’t stomach the pain this impulse decision could cause and you try to convince yourself that you don’t care who follows after you.
“no... as i have iterated several times, getting this file submitted is an urgent matter and no time should be wasted on it any longer.”
phone call after phone call after phone call. that’s all preschool-aged you would see your father doing for most of every day you lived. phone calls you didn’t quite understand. phone calls you associated with your father ignoring you for a very long while.
all you wanted to do was see if your father was free to play, but with any phone call of his, you were met with a raised finger and a close of a door.
“yes, i indeed have the book in my hands. i thought there were several copies of it, why does the association need mine in particular?”
even behind closed doors you could still hear the phone calls at hand. these conversations were never quiet, as if your father did not care of what you could hear, especially with you at that age.
of course, as your grew older, he was more discreet about his job and less open about his phone calls.
“look, i do not mind giving access to my knowledge or to any of the classified information i have acquired. but i would really appreciate if i was told what for.”
preschool-aged you didn’t understand some of the words during these phone calls— words like ‘classified’ or ‘association’. all you really wanted to do was to play with your father.
so you sat right next to the door like you always do, in hopes that the phone call would end and the door would open up before the pretend tea got too cold for everyone to enjoy.
“you want access to my child’s dna? did i hear that correctly? i apologize, sir, but my child is not even of age yet. i understand that it is standard protocol for all children of fairy hunters, but they are not even 5 years of age. what could possibly be needed for someone so young?”
you smile happily as the warm teddy bear sits on your lap, you singing songs to it to drown out any of the anger and stress that blossomed from your father’s phone calls.
singing songs to your toys was your second favorite play activity, just behind the tea party you couldn’t wait to enjoy.
“…alright. i suppose the tracking situation has helped me in the past and could help yn eventually. it is also useful for me in case something goes awry. i’ll accept these circumstances as long as you don’t make it painful for them, you hear me?”
yeonjun with those stupidly kind eyes and a cute mole underneath one. the changling who saw you at your worst and held you when you needed it most. the man who stayed up for hours on end to find even a sliver of evidence that could help you get home. with his stupid words of encouragement and stupid touches of admiration.
soobin with his stupidly cute smile and beautifully toned skin. with his amazing way with the animals on the island. the man has been nothing but home to you since you arrived. with his stupidest soft lips that make you crave more of his attention. and his easy conversations that makes you want to dive into deeper ones.
beomgyu with his stupid dependence on you that you can’t help but feel so utterly loving towards. the man who has seen through all your emotions and worked so hard to ground you in times that you needed it most. the one who sacrificed so much just to get one inch of information.
taehyun with his knowledgeable mind and stupid, but honest way with words. the fairy who has shown you forgiveness despite you being so stubborn against. the man with such protectiveness over you, that you can’t help but just want to be with him until eternity. with his stupid love for journals and diaries that make you want to scream in awe.
and kai. sweet sweet kai with his faith in family and love. with his stupid words that make you feel like you finally belong somewhere when all you’ve known was being an outsider. the man who has silently kept you at bay this entire time and quietly watched you under the moonlight as a protector.
it’s so stupid. so very stupid how much you love them.
you love them and you admit it to yourself as rain pools into the mud your feet has been trudging against since you left the fairies’ home. your eyes sting from the mix of tears and rainwater, but you push on.
the cards dealt to your hands was nothing you had ever dreamed about. never would you have imagined yourself on a remote island with no where to go and no way home. never would you have imagined yourself near any sort of magical creature. and never would you have imagined yourself in love with five different men who’ve shown you how much it means to care for someone.
you couldn’t bear to confess this to them and the sense of urgency to leave only increases as you get closer and closer to the sanded beach.
it was true that you didn’t care about getting hurt. you did not care if it was too soon to set sail to a destination you had no idea of. and with everything wrong that has ever happened in your life, the sense of urgency was just you wanting to run away from the truth yet again.
you wanted to leave this stupid life on this island with the five beautiful and amazing men that you’ve grown to love.
step. step. step.
the squelching sound of the mud dies down and is replaced with soft steps in wet sand. whether or not the boat is ready is no matter to you as you grab the paddles laying next to where the forest meets the sand.
“yn!”
they continue to call for you, continue to reach for you when you so desperately need them to stop.
you can’t love them. you just can’t.
everything always seems to go wrong, which is why you increase the rate of your steps towards the boat.
they were a perfect family before you stepped in and began to induce stress and trauma. how could you want to stay in a place you did not clearly belong?
you weren’t a gentle fairy like them. you were human.
a fairy hunter’s child.
a monster.
an outsider.
a murderer.
these adjectives to describe you loom over your head and pound into your brain as you finally reach the boat. your breath is heavy and the combination of tears and rain only begin to fill your eyes even more.
the weather seems to increase in intensity as what was just a mere raincloud is now a thunderstorm. you took this as a sign to work even more quicker. despite knowing you leaving would hurt the boys, staying here any longer that could cause them more hurt was something you can’t handle the thought of.
you wanted to take your chances on this theory working.
“yn!” they call for you again, but you don’t listen.
the rate of your heart increases and you begin to lose feeling in your limbs with the coldness of the rain and wind. despite this, you manage to lock the paddles in place.
it was perfect. how everything was working out so well for you to finally leave this place. the boat seemed ready, the boys too far to stop you, and the rain not ceasing. but as you turn around to face the ocean, you see it receding into itself, a telltale sign of high tides to come.
“high tides, yn! high tides! get out of there!” yeonjun screams, but it’s no use.
by the time you have processed what was happening, the tide rushes in faster than you’re able to make it off the boat. it floods the entirety of it and more, causing the boat to shatter against its strength.
the sudden presence of the wave gives you no time to prepare for breathing, and your lungs feel pain as water fills them with each watery breath you accidentally take.
it was like destiny was keeping you here on the island. for what reason, you didn’t know and you didn’t care as you weakly cough out any water still left in your lungs. your vision blurred and you attempted to crawl to safety where the boys lingered, reaching your hand out to one of them.
any of them.
you cough out more water and the blurred figures in front of you still as you try to breathe in more oxygen. unable to make out all five of them, you solely focus on the one closest to you.
beomgyu is it? you can’t tell.
your breathing continues to heave, the thunderstorm above all of you making it difficult to supply your lungs with precious oxygen.
“b-beomie!” you call out and as you do so, you see his eyes widen large and his body stops moving closer to you.
it is then when a sharp pain fills your temple and all you see is black.
note: i have finished school so prepare for more consistent updates :3 i hope you love this chapter. i am so happy to be writing glitter again :( my heart is so full right now you dont even know.
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