Two people in a car. Driving on an open country road. No music is playing. Awkward silence.
PERSON ONE: You want a gum?
PERSON TWO: No thanks, I’m fine.
PERSON ONE: What, you don’t like mint flavour?
PERSON TWO: No, I really just don’t like chewing on gums.
PERSON ONE: Yeah, I get that. I don’t like it neither when I’ve chewed it too much. My jaws get really saw then.
PERSON ONE: Okay, it’s always nothing. You’re always fine.
PERSON TWO: I don’t like chewing on gum because I can’t get out of my head that I’m chewing on rubber. I feel like I’m chewing on an actual piece of rubber.
PERSON ONE: I don’t think it’s rubber.
PERSON TWO: You think it, but do know it?
PERSON ONE: I can google it.
PERSON TWO: Where in the middle of nowhere.
PERSON ONE: Dang it, my data isn’t working.
PERSON ONE: I will google it when we get to somewhere a bit more civilized.
Person one stares out of the window, chewing on the gum really loud. Person two is getting distracted from the chewing.
PERSON TWO: No, actually, every discussion man must have these days, does not have to be solved with google. We will finish this.
PERSON TWO: Does it never hit you, how much we just trust what big companies try to sell us, and we just put it in our mouths or bodies without thinking about what it actually is?
PERSON ONE: Sometimes it does, I guess.
PERSON TWO: I mean, you chew gum, like people in the seventies smoke cigarettes. And you don’t have the slightest idea what chemicals they use to put these things together.
PERSON ONE: I don’t think you can compare gums and cigarettes. Like, gums aren’t bad for your health.
PERSON TWO: They said that about cigarettes too.
PERSON ONE: Okay, they did.
PERSON ONE: But you know nothing about gums neither. You’re just a hypocrite who talks about health and saving the planet, but you sure are way too fine to take the bus, so you must drive this shitty old car with a radio that isn’t even working, and you just pour tons of carbon dioxide into this planet that’s pretty fucked anyway. AND YOU DON’T CHEW GUM, CUZ WHO KNOWS WHAT’S IN THAT SHIT?
PERSON TWO: I admit it. I may be a bit of a hypocrite. But at least I’m not dumb. At least I don’t just take bites of a red apple given by an old lady.
PERSON ONE: Really? Oh my… okay, you’re right. I shouldn’t be chewing these.
Person one spits her gum out over person two.
PERSON TWO: YOU ARE WAY TOO MUCH.
PERSON ONE: You are. I never wanted to fight over gum.
PERSON ONE: Well then don’t!
PERSON TWO: You’re the one who turns every great silence into an argument, and every great argument into a fight. I just wanted to drive in silence, but you can’t stand silence right?
PERSON ONE: NO! I can’t. I can hear your thoughts about me in the silence. And you can’t stand me.
PERSON TWO: Maybe there is a reason.
PERSON ONE: Because I bite the apples people give me?
PERSON TWO: You want me to be honest?
PERSON TWO: Honestly, I think you’re naiv.
PERSON ONE: I DON’T HAVE A FUCKING CLUE WHY THAT EVERY NICE PERSON I MEET TURNS OUT TO BE A FUCKING TWAT!
PERSON TWO: No, of course you don’t. But maybe google have.
PERSON ONE: FUCK YOU. Stop the car.
PERSON ONE: STOP THE FUCKING CAR.
Person two stops the car and person one gets out. Person one is just about to slam the door.
PERSON ONE: I never got why we were here anyway.
PERSON TWO: Well, ask google.
Person one slams the door. Person two drives away.
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