[korement]

this is going to sound dramatic but

[korement]

i dont have anywhere else to get this thought out but i feel like a dead person walking. im not developing im losing touch w my emotions and thoughts, i cant even be trusted to give an accurate account of my week i feel like im stuck in place and time will pass and ill look up and wish i killed myself years ago

[korement]

hm

[korement]

this whole being alive thing fucking sux and i wish someone would stab me in the chest

[korement]

im dirty dirty DIRTY AND useless i amount to nothing im BAD im not good ill never be good or clean i need to bleed abd bleed and die

[korement]

drinking when youre down is really useful

[korement]

nothing would bring me more joy than being dead

[korement]

maybe this summer i should go back to restricting, i need an outlet for all these festering emotions

[korement]

screeaaam

[korement]

can my mom ever talk to me like im not disgusting and incompetent?

[3fates-deactivated20181205]

[korement]

its pretty hard 2 fulfill a need 2 self isolate when no one talks to you in the first place

[korement]

on the one hand, i Need someone to take care of me a couple days, to take over and make sure i dont have to think or stress about a thing

on the othet hand idk if thats gonna trigger smth in me or if ill ruin it or Something, im a bit scared of what could go wrong

[asideofbpd]

i don’t have the healthiest coping methods but i haven’t killed myself yet so where’s my fucking medal

[korement]

im gonna cry bc i Hate myself to a ridiculous degree

[korement]

i want someone to hurt me

[korement]

im suuuch a dependant and annoying and smothering and fragile headass