technically the main blog or at least the more socially acceptable one- maybe perchance still somewhat problematic its in my blood
[there is the secondary blog mention dead at the end too]
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main important stuff :
if you want to full name me it's Nikolai
totally massive shock im a guy but trans (pre-t (kill me))
speak fluent English + Polish but im decent with German too (technically do know chunks of other languages but I aint listing them if I can't half hold a conversation in them)
while I don't see why people would on this account- I do appreciate messages in dms or asks feel free to yap at me about anything fr
this blogs lowkey just for keeping me accountable and productive so mainly focused on tracking my progress with working out, voice training etc etc but I like spamming bs posts too
ABSOLUTE MASSIVE BLOCKS OF TEXT CONTAINING LIKE ALL MY INTERESTS UNDER THE GAP
General stuff :
working out + voice trainings prolly gonna be the main themes on here (cuz I need to do that the most)
but may dabble in guitar stuff + writing + drawing + essentially pinterest board posting + maybe skateboard stuff if I aint too lazy
Obviously though this blog will be spam posted with anything relating to my other interests if I feel like it
Random shit I don't feel like categorising that I like :
dogs (yes I will name you every breed) + hunting type stuff so guns and knives + psychology related things + card stuff (black jack with some fancy cards and shuffles wins me over so quick) + cooking stuff + coyotes + wolves + taxidermy stuffs cool + cars specifically blinking mazdas
Games :
final fantasy my beloved <33 mostly just ff7/ff7r
outlast trials
sally face + little misfortune + cry of fear
visual novel games (its so over)
uhhh lowkey not much else from proper games but I guess roblox and minecraft count-
Music :
crunk- brokencyde + hollywood undead/9 lives<33 + millionaires + ohemgee + scene kidz + 30H!3 + breathe Carolina + Scotty vanity + dot dot curve + jj demon + 4d bling + rusko star + s3rl + jeffrey star + botdf(no we don't speak on that one)
industrial?- kmfdm + and one +orange sector + miss construction + phosgore + tactical Sekt + noisuf-X
goth sorta kinda- Ashbury heights + she wants revenge + London after midnight + Lebanon Hanover
there's way way more but godamn I aint doing this many categories so consider those the main ones
Youtubers :
markiplier + memelous + letsgameitout + callmekevin + james marriot + ewron + schlatt + swaggersouls + misfits + uwoslab + prykations + gedraji + ashamed to say i've fallen back into vtubers + shiey
Films/shows :
galerianki + Scooby doo films + jet boy 2001 + Sala samobjcow + slc punk + mtv downtown + zeroday + duck! + fallen angels 1995 + the crow + deadpool + oresama + rick and morty + metal family wip I can't think of more rn lowkey
Sheer aurafull stuff :
vkei + scene kids + punks + emos + cities in the night + 2000s stuff + orange glow streetlights + acubi + shitty communist flats leftover in slavic countries + neon green with black + cargos and military type stuff + urbex + smoking and drinking (cringey yes but its enjoyable) + studs on everything + hoodies with fur hoods + bending gender norms + lots of unnatural makeup + actually being invested in studying + poster filled rooms + digital cameras + warm summer nights and swimming in the sea + teen wolves (not the show) + jirai + pine forest walks + hyperanalysing shows/people
the sum up of problematic topics :
dabble in tcc stuff + don't do it much now but was a shblr and edblr warrior back in the day + I don't mind interacting with fuckers with extremist views etc etc (do note though that doesn't mean I share those views) + will yap about any cooked topics
just basically in theory im absolutely woke as hell I support everyone in what they want to do since end of the day its a free world live your life but sheerly based on my own morals which may be a little too loose-
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[if you still feel the need to further get to know me too personally the not so sfw stuff is on @l1treally-r4b1d]
lowkey feel like such a failure fml for somehow making this blog gay with vents- results day is going to kill off entirely and I have to wait ages to see how shit I did
fuckahh maths with coordinates is going to be the death of me calculate me the coords for being on some cowboy shit on a ranch or some gay as hell alternative band with substance abuse problems instead of this straight bs
but genuinely how do voices even work??? it fucking confuses me to no end like you have dudes who speak higher and like brighter without making all their words sound monotone but they still sound like dudes from this almost background low buzz to their voice
like how does one replace the girl sorta brighter higher background sound to that I actually have no clue
have I done anything actually productive today? fuck nah
however I may dabble in recreating vkei looks so its totally not a wasted day (the thought of the long list of things I should be pursuing is haunting me but fuck it we ball)
genuine spam posts but holy shit I hate getting praise when its like I know ive done fuckall and just straight up wasted potential for no real reason
like fuck you mean I spend my time bedrotting when I could have easily studied and gotten an a* not just the a's im always stuck on or contributed to expanding on a hobby
(generous thinking anyway i swear im going to actually get some grades that are c's and its going to kill me since I need academic validation yet I don't put enough effort into it and in the chunk where it matters genuinely what is my problem)
I think im going to start feinding for getting something better to smoke like nic is nice and all but hhhhh plus drinks too
I was put off after an especially incredibly rough (completely fucked) night but with the new knowledge that low percentage is the devil I want a retry- I want to be back to not being able to stand up or focus my eyes on anything after almost emptying a vodka bottle and chugging anything else in my near vicinity
god I wish I sounded more like a dude when I tell you I'd milk that shit, 'how does one even profit off of that?' you ask-
think of every smaller youtuber ever: the ones who never show their face and queerbait online making 50 billion sexual jokes playing into what some guys want to hear and a lot of invested women too.
when I tell you id be the most unemployed vtuber type mf with a parasocial fanbase if i could but instead I just need to get employed the normal way [all is cooked]
I actually despise how fixated I get on things because fym I've done zero revision for an exam purely since I was too fixated on setting up accounts FOR STUFF I MAY ONLY START UP IN 2 YEARS
key word there only MAY not even confirmed- and now im yapping on tumblr instead of revising it is so so over for me
