Main shayar toh nahi

i just write some words. instagram: miraakle_

[miraakle]

[kr-words]

Afsos hai

Ke ishq

Har ek ke kismat main nahi likha

[miraakle]

Dulhan • Documenting

Its sort of funny, as usual, how time flies.

During the laavan at the gurdwara, just remembering our conversations about it. How it would be, when it would happen, what is written in our kismat. Felt like it was 3 years back, but just realising that flashback I had, of us in the metro, carefree and wondering about life, was 10 years old.

And here you are now, in that red lehnga, mehndi in your hands, starting a new life.

MUA : @chaymsbeauty

Ig : @miraakle_

[ Wedding photography l Brussels, april 2021 ]

[miraakle]

Dulhan • Documenting

And it finally happened.

That day, we hear about, while growing up, as a young girl. When we will, someday, settle down and get married. Be a part of another family and start our own.

The day, we think about, as becoming a lady. Having a partner we share our life with, joys and sorrows, moments. After being postponed for a year, that wedding under lockdown.

MUA : @chaymsbeauty

Ig : @miraakle_

[ Wedding photography l Brussels, april 2021 ]

[miraakle]

How often do you catch yourself digging up the past.

Thinking about how, at some stage of your life, 

someone can hold such an importance to you, 

being so close to them. 

You share such an intimacy, 

sharing your thoughts, 

ambitions and fears, feelings. 

Your life. 

And since it is just a matter of time, 

things fade away, 

everything is different 

and won't be the same anymore. 

You just get stuck in that time. 

You hold on it, 

just for the sake of what it was, 

lying to yourself.

You just swim in that ocean of memories, 

in what is now, 

some toxic water. 

Paris, october 2020 | @miraakle_

[miraakle]

Some moments from Mumbai I will always cherish, are those spent with these kids.

Sitting with them and talking, playing, seeing them being nasty around or just fighting, before they go back to work, to sell what they have – a pen, a packet of tissues, earings. I remember them telling me about their favorite hindi movies. Viraj's love for chocolate, and burgers. Veer's favorite subjects at school, maths or sciences. Radhika wanting to be a teacher when she grows up. Them working hard here when they can, to help their family. I remember their stories, of some people they came across, their inhumanity and cruelty, that just made my blood boil.

Life, at times, gives you more than what you expect, and sometimes, just takes away what is needed. Anything that has a value to you, or just something you have a right on. I believe as a child, you have the right to grow up in a healthy and safe environment, surrounded by loving and supportive ones. Life owes you innocence and carefreeness, untainted of burdensome responsibilities or atrocities. What is, sometimes, just taken away, way too early, reflected by worry lines on the forehead.

But everytime we would meet, just seeing them laugh was a good source of oxytocin. Astonished by their maturity, softness and purity. How they would fight with each other to share their juice or food with me or “Didi we won't have”. Just big hearts and bright smiles.

[miraakle]

Zara aana

yahan mere pass,

beth the hain.

Tum aur main

aur do cup chai.

Kuch kahaniyan sunaungi,

kuch tumhari sunungi.

Zara aana

yahan mere pass,

Guzarte hain kuch paal.

[miraakle]

Sometimes, throughout some discussions, I get asked about it, unless at some point, it just crosses my mind. That notion so subjective, yet blurred and romanticized of relationships and love. And I wonder, what it actually is. 

Has not it just been put in our minds, that one specific person is here, made for us, with whom we are meant to be. I have always felt, this perception beautifully comes from books and poems, movies we have been watching while growing up, idealizing people and relationships. 

I'd like to believe so, but the raw reality just seems to be a perpetual accumulation of ephemeral circumstances. Since nothing last, and everything keep changing, for a better version of it, or not. People, feelings, situations.Yet, we live in a world, I feel, where patience has become a rare attribute, consistency and loyalty too. I see, people getting used to everything surrounding them easily. Or just being distracted.

I just see that commonly used notion of love, as a sort of thread that connects you to that soul you want to grow with during your journey. What I know, throughout the plenty discussions i had about it with diverse persons, it is a subjective notion that differs person to person anyway. Believing in one and only life partner, or just beautiful stories that build you as the person you are.

[miraakle]

It has been a while, since I wrote down anything. But this mind has still been that blank piece of sheet, and these thoughts flowing like the ink of the same broken pen. 

I have been thinking, about how time is beyond our control, how it escapes us ; and how the moments we live are precious, until it just become memories you can only think about, while rummaging through the past. Thinking, about these times, these people, these faces. Some feelings, some words, some sounds. It all appear so clear to me, like these moments happened just few days back, but yet, it feels like a dream you had, you just try to collect all the detailed pieces to make the puzzle complete. I have been thinking about how these times, that never come twice, shouldn't be taken for granted. We need to value people's company more, value the smallest and simplest moments and things surrounding us here.

Again, there, I will be caught in some nostalgia and reverie, just remembering all that.

[miraakle]

I wonder

how people hold so many unsent letters deep inside them,

and how many of them

the moon comforted at nights.

[miraakle]

Days have passed, so have months.

At some point, during that time, my mind has been a blank piece of sheet, and my thoughts flowing like the ink of a broken pen.

I, and many here and there - probably, felt lost and lonely.

But everything is ephemeral, even these temporary feelings, that keep going and knocking back on my door, sometimes.

Sometimes, coming inside like a storm we try to protect ourselves from,

sometimes we decide to let them in, even welcoming with a smile, curious to learn more.

Some people call it growth, some healing, or just life.

Isn't that life just a perpetual stream of changes and adaptations, to circumstances, people, and ourselves anyway.

Self portrait in Mumbai. May 2020

[kr-words]

@miraakle_

[miraakle]

Waise bhi,

kahan fursat hua karti thi loggo ke paas

Ek dusre ke liye.

[miraakle]

Flowing thoughts : you knew I missed you Bombay, didn't you? (Part I)

I carried my stubborness and some wishes in my bag, on my way back to Bombay. Some places I wanted to go back to, memories I wanted to relive. Some faces I wanted to see again, some laughers I wanted to hear once more. Eager to explore around, curious about the new souls that will cross my path.

By the time I landed, I already had that feeling, as usual, the feeling of being Home. From shopping bindis and jhumke, to the walks and sunsets at Juhu, the conversations with the aunties and the drives with that one. The horns of the rikshaws in the traffic jam, the smell of the food stalls, the carefree crowd and the kids playing in the streets. And with that smile, on my face, witnessing the scene. Nevertheless, you knew I missed you Bombay, didn't you?

Bombay | April 20'

Ig : @miraakle_

[miraakle]

People become careless

When they get to know

You are ready to give the world to them

[kr-words]

Ig : @miraakle_

[miraakle]

there is

that feeling of heaviness,

like drowing in a river of frustration.

but at some point,

right now,

doesn't life seems to be on pause.

far from the hustle and bustle,

finding in old books smell, the little walks you are allowed to have, seeing birds flying out in the sky, in that sunray kissing the face and the moon giving us company at night,

some peace to your restlessness?

[kr-words]

Ig : @miraakle_

[miraakle]

Spring is here. Shall we bloom?

[kr-words]

Ig : @miraakle_

[miraakle]

I will meet you there,

When the birds won't be encaged anymore,

When the sun will go down,

At the dusk.

[kr-words]

Ig : @miraakle_