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“Nothing is so difficult as not deceiving oneself.”

— Ludwig Wittgenstein, Culture and Value

“Alienating yourself from your inclinations can only lead to pain and disappointment in the long run, and a sense that you have wasted something unique. This pain will be expressed in bitterness and envy, and you will not recognize the true source of your depression.”

— Robert Greene, Mastery

liberatingreality

Observing people behave in a “selfish” manner doesn’t necessarily indicate that they’re a narcissist, sociopath, etc; it may just mean that they’re taking adequate measures to preserve their security. Simply observing someone do what’s in their best interest isn’t evidence of a mental disorder or irrational lack of empathy.

If you condemn people for prioritizing their basic needs, and structuring their life around their own personal development, then you’re likely unconscious of your own hypocrisy, and emotionally invested in ideals with no tangible basis in reality.

Passing judgement on someone because they aren’t enthusiastically modifying their lifestyle to suit your personal preferences or attachments, may be evidence that you are, in fact, the actual narcissist.

liberatingreality

“People will mock you for displaying a passionate enthusiasm because they envy your courage to be so vulnerable.”

— Paul John Moscatello

liberatingreality

Trauma is no Excuse for Abuse

If you’ve established a very intimate relationship with someone, where you’ve essentially structured your entire lifestyle around meticulously composing your behavior, language, and schedule to accommodate their trauma-based insecurities, but despite this, they constantly accuse you of mistreatment, bait you into redundant arguments, prompt you to explain yourself, and just viscerally degrade you for all of your efforts, I’d recommend completely dropping out of this person’s life. In fact, your willingness to entertain their volatility in the first place is likely a product of your own trauma-based insecurities. Don’t romanticize this compulsory tolerance as “empathy”, or as a reassurance of your moral integrity. You are providing an environment and relationship for someone to flounder aimlessly while they abuse and exploit you. Period. People who do nothing for you deserve nothing from you, but especially so when they are incapable of even recognizing you as a human being with your own mental health struggles and basic needs. Don’t resign yourself to simply exist as a utility in somebody else’s recovery, to be dehumanized as nothing more than an actor in the theater of their psychodrama. Sometimes leaving people to sulk in their own anguished self-reflection, where they have nobody left to blame but themselves, is the only way to invoke their collision with reality.

liberatingreality

People develop elaborate rationalizations in an effort to reject uncomfortable aspects of reality, and they will unconsciously cherry-pick information to confirm what they prefer to believe.

In this way, the internet and social media allow for the ability to essentially curate denial, and fashion echo-chambers where those of similar self-deception can “support” one another by verbally affirming each other’s delusions in an endless cycle.