@krispiecake - Tumblr Blog

Ateta Jok by Marina Vengut for

trying to talk to other adults about how you should not be dealing with children and their problems through the lens of making them obedient or compliant to your demands/expectations/rules, but instead should be aiming to help them be physically and mentally healthy which sometimes means meeting them where they are at, and working with them, not just telling them what to do, is actually exhausting. Like they are genuinely suddenly unfamiliar with the concept of compassion or children not having fully developed brains.

#my 13yr old brother is autistic with a pda profile severe anxiety and a learning disability #(i do not remember which one)#and he’s currently struggling with a lot of stuff especially with teenage hormones #so he’s stopped brushing his teeth and taking care of himself #and dont get me wrong he can be a little shit and very annoying and rude #hes still a 13yr old boy afterall #but i offered to try and find an alternative to brushing his teeth ‘normally’ to see if that could help improve him dental health #give him a bit of control back to hopefully reduce his anxiety around being told to do something #and use it as a stepping stone to working on brushing his teeth fully #so i found a couple things that might work and spoke to him to ask if its something he would try and if there was any like flavours or #sensations he really didn’t like #and then my mum cuts in while im talking to him and goes ‘or just could just brush your teeth’#and when i tell her thats not helpful she says ‘no he could. he needs to. this is ridiculous’#and like.. ok? it’s ridiculous. now what. shaming him clearly doesnt work and only increases pda symptoms + anxiety.#it only locks him more into not brushing his stupid teeth. its all well and good that he needs to but he is not going to.#she acts like finding a middle ground or an alternative is ‘giving in’ to him or ‘losing’#like my little brother is orchestrating a crazy stand off that means his health declines AND he gets yelled at. bc that is what every #kid wants to happen??#ughhh im just annoyed because not only is she extremely educated on child psychology (part of her degree) and very very knowledgeable on #autism and pda and learning disabilities ect #because she has 6 kids all with autism and at least 1 other thing #and she can apply this to other peoples kids #but the moment its her kids its ‘being difficult’ or ‘just do what youre told’#and if nothing else. that has literally never fucking worked. on any of us.#PICK A NEW TACTIC!!!!!

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