💉💉

  Semi-selective rp blog for canon RED Medic Penned by Paint  

[proxima-c-entauri]

i shoulda posted this when it was actually purim huh… medic is @paintpaw‘s…

[krankenklaus]

Klaus somehow felt he fell right into Ludwig’s trap. Not that it truly mattered, he had more than enough savings from the job. 

“A man with a cooler…” he repeated. Klaus was to wait in an alleyway for a man to appear with a cooler with an organ inside. “Where exactly does your friend get his…his supplies?” 

[kritzhaus]

Ludwig spent a moment to consider the question he had just been asked, eyes darting to the left and lips parting--as if they were waiting for an answer to come to him.

Then he shrugged, “I have no idea! Let’s go!”

[lespionrouge-deactivated2025110]

@kritzhaus

If Valere didn’t already have significant distaste for doctors after everything he’s been through and put up with, he’s pretty sure he would’ve grown the same attitude with enough time at RED. 

He’s sure worse doctors exist, in fact he’s met them, but mercenary medics are their own special type of awful hovering doesn’t-ask-before-they-stab-you-with-the-needles non-professionals, practically living in their own heads most of the time while they expect you to go along with it. And he definitely doesn’t fucking like it, but he also doesn’t have room to complain or punch anyone in the nose again, not after some company notices. 

As if they care whether or not he’s vaccinated. He is, but, they definitely don’t care.  

“I’m not due for a check-up for another four months, I’ve counted,” he grumbles, arms crossed with a cigarette firmly between his lips in protest. He knows it’s rude to smoke in the medical ward, and he’s very happy to take advantage of it. “And I am not helping with any experimental procedures either.”

[kritzhaus]

“Well, you must be due something! I wouldn’t have called you in here if you weren’t! If not a vaccination maybe your überheart needs examining or--are you sure it’s not a vaccination? I have a lot of flu vaccines left over.” 

Paying Valere no mind what so over, Ludwig rummages around his cluttered lab as he rambles. He splays out papers and haphazardly tosses tools and pill bottles out of his way as he looks for--whatever it is he’s looking for. Birds flutter out of his way like parting waters.

He’d definitely put the Spy on his calendar. The same calendar he’d been given a few years ago and had absolutely incomprehensible scribblings on.

Ludwig opens the drawer of his desk and with a small ‘ah’ pulls out a clipboard. It wasn’t what he wanted but it would do. 

As he turns back to Valere, he’s about to open his mouth to say something before cutting himself off by pointing his pen at the cigarette. 

“Put that out bitte you’re making my birds sick. And if you do that well!” He titters to himself with that hooting laugh, glancing down to scribble something down, “--I can make you a worse type of sick.”

[pinion-shafts-and-flanges]

“Well, since you’re a doctor, I was kinda hopin’ for some painkillers. For…” She pressed her hand against her lower stomach. “For reasons.” 

It was clear she was becoming annoyed with him. At this rate, she’d punch him in the nose a second time. No wonder the guy got punched. 

She was about ready to leave, ready to just give up on the whole thing. She’d go cuddle her chickens and be miserable on her own. 

[kritzhaus]

“Well, why didn’t you say so!” Ludwig was quick to abandon his icepack and leapt up from his seat, unaware that he had completely missed her previous request.

Taking a key from his pocket, the German unlocked a cupboard and rummaged around inside a very unorganised looking collection of pill pots. 

“Would you rather morphine or paracetamol? Or I’ve got something that could knock you out.”

[kritzhaus]

Hey :^) I know it’s been slow on here lately, you can blame 12.5 hour shifts for that, but i have a verses page now

check it out 

[kritzhaus]

Oh Shit AU

[krankenklaus]

“He wants you to pet him.” The answer was obvious to him. Especially compared to birds, cats were easy to understand. A headbutt meant they wanted affection, a purr meant they were happy, and a hiss meant they were angry. It was all simple. 

Johann rubbed his head against Ludwig’s hand as if trying to teach him how to pet him. 

[kritzhaus]

“Oh. I see.” Ludwig frowned, rubbing his fingers against the palm of his hand as the cat nudged him. Hesitantly, he unfurled his hand to the cat and allowed it rub itself against him--though made no real effort to stroke it himself. 

“I was not aware that you owned any pets other than your frog,” Ludwig said idly, watching the cat carefully as if expecting it to bite. 

[krankenklaus]

Dr. Klaus Hartmann 

7+ years rp experience 

TF2, modern, vampire AUs 

Crossover friendly 

Rules 

[pinion-shafts-and-flanges]

“A frau-line? And a hair?” German was one weird language. At least it got her mind away from how horrible her life was. “So that means you’re a Herr,” she concluded. 

She looked back at the dirtied ceiling and bent her knees so her feet were flat on the floor. “Uh…what’s…” she bit her lower lip as she thought. “What’s “raccoon” in German?” 

[kritzhaus]

“It seems that I am, ja.” There was a curl of amusement in his voice. He rocked gently on his heels as he waited for the woman to find a word--which was probably the most patient he had been in a long time. 

“Waschbär!” Which sounded an awful lot like ‘wash bear’. This was a fun little game to play.

[kritzhaus]

fauxprox‌:

The beast cocked it’s head ever so slightly at the strange turn in the conversation. This human wanted them, an immortal eldritch being not from this plane of existence to talk about them self ?  Seemed like a peculiar  SEGUE  for this conversation, but the promise of eyeballs was enough for them to  COMPLY, 

❝ Oh yes how rude of me not to introduce myself before diving into such a strange request !   JAGER DES ELENDS  , or if you’d like something a little more casual then simply Sketchy will do ! ❞ 

Much like derailing the conversation, Ludwig didn’t want to turn his back on the being--should this be a figment of his imagination. Not out of fear but pure interest. Instead, the doctor awkwardly shuffled towards the fridge he kept eyes in.

The German title that spilt from their mouth, however, was a surprise.

“Jäger des Elends, eh?” Ludwig parroted, an excited smile stretching over his face, “And how does one hunt misery?”

[krankenklaus]

“And where is the spot?” Probably a shady street corner in the middle of night. Or the basement of a sketchy nightclub where a mob hung out. Or maybe it was a perfectly normal place to meet up and pick up a uterus… 

“Do you want me to pay for it?” he asked, looking up at the birds, keeping his gaze away from Ludwig. “It’s my project after all.” 

[kritzhaus]

“Oh you know, just a street corner beside an alley--no-where strange,” Ludwig said with a dismissive wave like this was a totally normal conversation. “Look out for a man with a cooler!”

Ludwig had just started to uncover his hiding place--a steel grating on the tile floor--when he heard Klaus’ proposal. He dropped the grating almost immediately and stood up.

“Well! If you insist!”

[rpsourcedmemes]

Send 💡 for an AU idea I have for our muses

[kritzhaus]

Oh Shit AU

[krankenklaus]

Klaus turned red. It seemed his lie didn’t go over. Having nothing else to say or do, he retrieved Ludwig’s glasses in the hopes he’d leave. 

The doctor awkwardly leaned against his bookshelf as he waited for Ludwig to get out of bed and dress himself. And then leave. Leaving was the most important part. 

Johann had finished his bowl of kibble and went over to inspect the visitor. The cat gracefully jumped on the bed and rubbed his head into Ludwig’s shoulder. 

[kritzhaus]

Taking the glasses with a soft ‘Ah’, Ludwig didn’t seem in much of a hurry to leave. He idly rebuttoned his shirt and straightened out his tie while taking in the other doctor’s room, wondering if it was the same as his own.

Ludwig was just about to reach for his trousers when the cat jumped up and rubbed against him. He visibly tensed.

“Oh. Hello.” Ludwig had never spent much time in the presence of a cat. Birds? Of course. Dogs even? His family had owned one for a short time. Horses? Rottenburg had many horse-drawn carts. But cats? Didn’t they hunt his birds?

He turned to Klaus and hissed, “What does it want?”

[fauxprox-deactivated20210824]

🐺 - @kritzhaus​ ♡’d for a Starter

❝ It’s truly a  DIFFICULT FEAT  to find a Doctor who is willing to give me the eyeballs of their deceased patients  ❞ An almost childlike excitement radiated from the being, EAGERLY bouncing on the balls of their heels, hands clasped together loosely.  ❝ Do you happen to have any you’d be willing to part with ?  ❞

[kritzhaus]

“Ahaha yes, my patients.” Ludwig peered down at the other with fascination. There were so many questions buzzing in his head, he wasn’t about to take the conversation off-topic to make a correction.

“Lucky for you I have plenty!” A jar full in fact, “How about you--uh--tell me about yourself! While I go and find them.”

[pinion-shafts-and-flanges]

“Oh.” It looked like the Medic was far to preoccupied with his injury than hers. Well it wasn’t really an injury. Just pain. 

“So uh…what happened?” she asked, taking a tentative step closer. Jamie always got nosebleeds when he was little. Still got them now. She didn’t want to brag, but she was pretty good at stopping nosebleeds. She just wasn’t sure if she wanted to help the Medic…or if the Medic even wanted her help. 

[kritzhaus]

“I told you! I was punched!” Ludwig’s voice pitched, either out of annoyance or because he was pressing the icepack too rough against his face. “Someone on the enemy team, I must have--wandered too far out.”

It seemed that was all he would say on the matter as he frowned and leant back in his seat.

“Wait, what are you doing here?”

[kritzhaus]

Oh Shit AU

[krankenklaus]

Johann and Ana were enjoying their crunchy breakfast when Ludwig woke up. Good thing Klaus wasn’t holding anything or else he would have dropped it at the sight of who was in his bed. 

Klaus paled. The crazy Medic? The crazy Medic who was friends with Black Market Bob who was going to get him a cloned son? 

Surely there was a logical explanation for it all, but his stomach still heavy with alcohol said otherwise. The evidence was clear as day, but Klaus was going to deny it. “Oh yes, you were rather intoxicated last night and you passed out here on the BLU side so I took you in so no one would attack you.” 

Maybe, just maybe the other Medic would believe that horrid lie. 

[kritzhaus]

Ludwig was many things, but stupid wasn’t one of them. Well--at least in this regard. He cocked an eyebrow at the other man, “Oh how kind of you.”

He immediately peered down to look at the state he was in. Unbuttoned shirt, no vest or labcoat, a lazily loosened tie. After glancing at Klaus again he lifted up the blankets ever so slightly to find himself pantless and down a sock. 

“Ah! And I see you’ve also been so kind as to remove half of my clothing and toss it about the room.” The Red squinted, he couldn’t actually see much of the room mind, he was just assuming Klaus didn’t wear anything outside of his team colours. He set the blankets down again and made himself comfortable.

“Be a dear and find me my glasses bitte.”

[kritzhaus]

@pinion-shafts-and-flanges continued from 🔧

“A frau?” Ludwig leaned over, an amused smirk on his face, “Why you are! Well, maybe you’re a Fräulein. I do get those two mixed up sometimes.”

The doctor was about to add something more, then seemed to realise maybe asking someone if they were married wasn’t the best way to talk to them. Especially if that someone was laying on the ground looking distraught.

He cleared his throat. “It is Miss or Mrs, you see? And Mr would be Herr.”

[mediponeeeee]

Reposting this because Tumblr shadowbanned it 

Found this awful shirt in tkmaxx with such medic energies that i had to draw it its qualities included

cropped torso 

extra long arms

medical crosses filled with fluid on the sleeves

£69 

Starting the decade off right,, freaks dont interact