walk to remember | kjk&ljy
@krxjongkook
jiyeon continued to box even after she had given up on mma. it was a way to keep in shape while also relieving stress but, if she was being honest, she missed it. mma, that is. she was dying to get in the ring again. sparring with someone was in no way as invigorating as when she was in a true match. as odd as it sounded, she missed being hit. she missed the feeling of waking up in the morning, knowing she had won a match and praising her body for pulling through another battle. she was proud of herself before; she trained hard and now she had nothing to show for it. she was empty and it was worse than all the times she had been hit in the ring combined.
after her parents and brothers died she was advised to go to therapy and she did. she showed up a few times and the doctor was nice enough, but none of it really helped. the more she talked, the more emotions she had to bury as she left the building. soon, she stopped going all together. the gym was the only place where she could get out of her own head. it made her focus and kept her mind preoccupied. she had learned to tune out the other people around her which was helpful not only when she was sparring, but also when male members of the gym attempted to talk to her and she was able to completely ignore them. and, if they didn’t catch the hit, the glare she threw at them was definitely enough to make them walk away.
on this particular day, though, there was a voice that completely cut through her senses. she picked her head up, keeping a hand on the punching bag in front of her to ground herself. she knew that voice, but where had she heard it?
there it was again. she turned her head and spotted a man, much larger than herself in height and in bulk. she tried to take in his features until she was hit with a flashback. a flashback of herself sat against the wall in the hospital on the date of february 7th, approximately seven years ago. the day her family died. she remembers a blurred face speaking to her, attached to a fighter fighters uniform. he had apologized to her, but she didn’t have the energy to tell him that he disgusted her. that he was the reason her family died. that he should have gotten there sooner. she had known it wasn’t anyones’ fault, but she needed someone to blame and he was the first person to approach her.
that voice though—the voice that apologized—was attached to the person standing not even 100 feet from her. before she knew what she was doing, she was behind him. she reached out to tap his shoulder and before he could even turn she said, “yah, do you remember me? you’re that firefighter, right? that was you, right?” she could tell the malice that had already slipped into her voice and it was weird to feel any sort of emotion after doing her best to keep everything at bay, but there wasn’t much she could do to stop it. the dam was already broken.
