Jules of Nature
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@kruthika-nyasa
“A kind of light spread out from her. And everything changed color. And the world opened out. And a day was good to awaken to. And there were no limits to anything. And the people of the world were good and handsome. And I was not afraid any more.”
— East of Eden, John Steinbeck
July 6, 1920 Letters to Milena by Franz Kafka First published : 1952
my mother says, I'm the eldest, i should be setting an example, an example for everyone after me, while I'm just here jobless, just here heartless, just here lying, dead, she tells me to do something, something profound which my siblings will look up to me for
and
and my heart skips a beat, it trembles, how my siblings would need greatness from me in return to look up to me, that making a penny, would mean I'm loved, that respect is the only fruit I've never reaped because I'm unemployed beyond dreams.
I'm the eldest they say, eldest.
Eldest.
Nick Cave, The Sick Bag Song
Isolation is not safety, it is death. If no one knows you're alive, you aren't.
Neil Hilborn
It's utterly laughable how women are their own worst enemies. When you try to enlighten and educate them about holding on to their rights, not becoming victims of patriarchy, and refusing to live in perpetual submission to in-laws, they warn you'll end up nowhere with such 'backward' thinking. They claim you'll never find anyone to marry. Well, HELLO to all those women who once hoped for my downfall. I don't see you screaming happiness from the heights of matrimonial bliss at your dearest in-laws abode. Karma is quite lovely, isn't it?
As I celebrate the passage of a year and reflect on the journey, a storm of unanswered questions swirl within me. Yet, as I reach the age of 22, I find myself overwhelmed not by the uncertainties, but by the blessings of the relationships that I have earned in my life.
The greatest achievements I've ever known are my friends. They're my biggest supporters and hype men even on days my world comes crashing down. A subtle wishper is enough for them to come knocking at my door.And I hold each one of them close to my heart with immeasurable pride. They are, dear ladies and gentlemen, the resounding answer to every question that has ever crossed my mind.
a little sketch interpretation of my walk today
i saw a quote that said “i feel like i’m constantly worrying about the next part of my life without realizing that i’m right in the middle of what i used to look forward to.” and i felt that.
"not all men" you're right, he would never
I believe we all are born brave, born so so heroic and most importantly we are born patient. We have dwelled inside a womb for 9 months, adapted to the kind of darkness that we knew once felt comfortable, that once this darkness was home, did you realize how everything ''dark'' has this beautiful intensity, the depth. Look at the color of the ground our creations stand on, the color of oceans we come from, the color of the anger we surrender ourselves to, and the color of this love we lose ourselves in. They are all beautiful.
And change isn't always brutal, change is sometimes soft like that instant change in weather after that stormy night, that first smile on your face after the rivers you cried, no matter how cruel the change, you'll one day wake up and watch yourself get comfortable, one even gets comfortable in their sadness, change is quite convenient.
Kruthika Nyasa | Fragments of moments I've never lived |
what changed ?
Lately, there's this chaos raging in me, this troubled desire that had me more than just comfortable, there are these nights, uncertain, very, and yet some feelings so certain. Why is it that we wonder? there's a price we would have to offer for everything that we would get unasked? Why do we think that the price would break us, it is so beautiful how some days this uncertainty gives me art yet so tragic how my hands tremble at the sight of even writing it. How one day all I would be left with is just this, this art, and this very thought scares me, and somedays this universe hurts like a broken desire, held long, ever longing.
Aren't we too young? arent we too young to be just existing beneath these heights of our perfectly driven hope, isn't this all fair? isn't this all grave? isn't this all just blue and isn't this all grey?
Kruthika Nyasa | Fragments of moments I've never lived |
Richie Hofmann, from "Breed Me"
I don't have Kenergy
I have Allergy
The Barbie Monologue
"It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we're always doing it wrong."
"You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass. You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean. You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas. You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining. You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood."
"But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It's too hard! It's too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault."
"I'm just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don't even know."
