[ktarology]

♥︎ stellar ⋆˙ᝰ.ᐟ, 22 ᯓ★

ꪆৎ masterlist . rules . tags .

ꪆৎ recent work . ao3

© ktarology all rights reserved. do not repost , edit , translate, or copy any of my work

slow content ! i’m a first year med student <3 @valsntine for nct works

[eggyrocks]

the maneater: h. iwaizumi

she dj’s at ‘the maneater’ every weekend, and she’s the highlight of iwaizumi’s bouncer shift.

main masterlist

pairing: iwaizumi x f!reader

status: in development

tags/warnings: reader is a dj at a night club, iwaizumi is the bouncer, enemies to lovers, smau, alcohol/drinking, language, slightly suggestive, smoking, arguments, very slight angst buried under humor, probably will be out of character, please note warnings may change as story progresses, and to check each chapter for individual warnings

taglist: CLOSED

yn aesthetic | iwaizumi aesthetic | playlist

yn style guide | yn style guide (pinterest board)

INTRODUCTIONS: bad girls club | fuck you oikawa

CHAPTER ONE: club classics

CHAPTER TWO: the baddest (badder)

CHAPTER THREE: von dutch

CHAPTER FOUR: 212

CHAPTER FIVE: yummy

CHAPTER SIX: coming soon

[wttcsms]

you achieve iconic wag status when, during an especially hot game where there’s a shortage of water available for the players, you lend your boyfriend your stanley of ice cold water. now, online forever, are images of your hot, sweaty boyfriend sitting on the bench, clutching your pink tumbler for life as he drinks out of the straw like an overgrown toddler and his sippy cup. after he’s done, he’s well trained enough to put back the silicon straw cover, which is in the shape of a pink bow. his teammates never let him hear the end of it, but he gets the last laugh because he’s the only one completely hydrated

[ktarology]

just saw on twitter that they’re animating the timeskip ?? like please lord let this be real i will do anything for msby

[ktarology]

the athlete x healthcare worker!reader trope is just so elite

[ktarology]

working a full time job at 21 i do not like being an adult

[narizaki]

sticky notes   sakusa kiyoomi x reader

―   tags   fem reader,   fluff,   roommates to something close to lovers,   timeskip kiyoomi

―   notes   wc is 1.8k,   i wrote this on a whim so please forgive ooc kiyoomi, also please forgive any grammar mistakes lmao

you and sakusa have been communicating through notes for the past three months.

at first, you had mindlessly written down a few groceries you needed to buy on a sticky note, pasting it onto the fridge so you wouldn’t forget. it included some of the basics; eggs, flour, rice, milk, and other necessities for you and your roommate’s fridge. 

then, the next time you came home, you were greeted by a bright yellow sticky note seated next to your pink one. it said:

protein powder

lettuce

masks (the white ones)

between your full-time job and sakusa’s hectic schedule as a professional volleyball player, the two of you hardly saw each other, if at all. especially with sakusa’s new status on the olympic team. it wasn’t bad, per se, as you’d never been the closest to him — he was closed-off and, frankly, intimidating. it was like the man would go to any lengths to avoid interacting with others. regardless, his small addition to your grocery list had made you laugh. 

you checked off the items he wanted, and the sticky note was gone the next day.

from then, the two of you only ever communicated with each other this way. one of you would write the groceries they needed to get that weekend, and the other would make their additions to the list. it was effective, simple, and considering how the only post-it notes the either of you owned were offensively bright colors, hard to miss. 

after a while, you began adding little comments in addition to the list of items you needed to buy. they were short and sweet, like a thanks! written in the corner of your post-it detailing the items you needed sakusa to buy, or there are leftovers in the fridge after you made too much for dinner. you weren’t expecting sakusa to respond to them, given his stand-offish nature. so, when he did, you were surprised. no; scratch that, you were elated. although his replies weren’t anything extraordinary, just a simple you’re welcome or thank you for the food written in his neat handwriting under your own, it felt like a break in your relationship with sakusa. 

despite knowing him for a while now, the two of you stayed as acquaintances and nothing more. but, you couldn’t deny that you wanted to know more about him. and though unconventional, the sticky notes worked perfectly for this.

writing to each other using post-its became such a habit that sakusa bought a magnetic whiteboard. you were only made aware of it when you walked into the kitchen to see it set up. there was a note already written in black marker on the board, stating that the post-it notes were beginning to be a waste of paper. you made sure to write a large thanks, sakusa! with the same marker, adding a few hearts around it.

(and if sakusa flushed red at the sight of his name with hearts surrounding it, only he would know.) 

whenever your friends came over, they would question the purpose of the whiteboard. you couldn't blame them; it did take up the better half of your fridge's surface. they had a good laugh when you explained the story behind it, but some asked why couldn’t you just text each other?

and, honestly? you didn’t know either.

you knew it would be more efficient if you were to text sakusa instead of patiently waiting for his replies on the dry-erase board every day. but, if you wanted to, you knew you would’ve done it a while ago; before he even had the idea of buying the whiteboard, back when the two of you were conversing through neon sticky notes and wasting an unnecessary amount of paper. 

you surmise it’s because you didn't want to ruin your and sakusa’s relationship — if you could even call it that. texting him would forcefully pull him into your orbit. though you’ve been regularly interacting with him for the past few months, you were aware that you hardly knew anything about the man; small notes and lists only gave you so much information about a person. the whiteboard was a safe in-between — you learn a little more about him and his habits, while not forcing him to interact with you. 

well, you think, he’s not obligated to answer my texts, either. you have his number, and it’s not like you haven’t texted him before. there was only so much you could do when you weren’t home to pick up packages or forget to inform him of a repairman coming over. 

you mull over the decision, a short text already typed into your conversation with sakusa. your finger hovers over the send button, before you furiously spam the delete key and put your phone down. no, nevermind. 

your plan of staying content with your relationship fails miserably.

it’s been a hard few weeks at work, with seemingly endless deadlines you have to meet and an equally endless amount of meetings you’ve had to attend. you feel as if you haven’t had a moment to yourself in forever.

so, when you submit your most recent project to your boss and shut your laptop closed, the first thing on your mind is to go home and rest. your mind is on auto-pilot as you pack your belongings, spitting out no’s to your co-workers' offers to go out drinking. when you’re this tired, the last thing you want to do is wake up with a splitting headache and an awful hangover the next day.

you stumble into your apartment, hastily toeing your heels off. a sigh leaves you, the harsh pressure of the shoe finally being relieved. they’re thrown somewhere in the corner, probably not anywhere close to where they should be, but you’ll deal with that tomorrow. all you want is some sleep. you consider just crashing on the couch and dealing with the consequences tomorrow.

“rough day?” a flat voice asks. you jump at the noise, not expecting anyone to be in your apartment. when you look up, you’re greeted by a tall figure standing in front of you. your eyes take a moment to rack over them, not completely registering that the only other person who has access to your apartment is…

sakusa.

“huh…?” you mutter, blinking a few times to will the tiredness from your eyes. it doesn’t work. sakusa only sighs, stepping from the doorway and further into your home. there’s a look on his face that’s telling you to follow, but when you don’t out of pure shock because he’s here? like, actually here? at home? he rolls his eyes.

“come on,” he says, “there’s food on the stove already.” 

you continue to stay silent, causing sakusa to raise an eyebrow. your face is scrunched up, a hand on the wall next to you to support your weight.

“are you…am i hallucinating…?” you mumble, internally debating if you wanted to pinch yourself to make sure that you’re not dreaming in any way. “i thought you weren’t going to be back for a while?” 

in response to your delirious rambling, sakusa laughs. it’s rather quiet, but you know he does. you hear the rapid exhalation of air accompanied by a deep rumble coming from his chest, and you can see his shoulders shaking. 

he steps closer to you, forcing your bag from your shoulder and practically pulling you with him into your shared living room. you’re tripping over your feet, mind still fuzzy from your tiring day. 

“leave it up to you to not be able to think properly after a long day,” he murmurs, setting your bag down on the couch. in your half-awake daze, you’re unable to form a proper response. “i guess you’re not hungry then.”

“well…” you stammer, still trying to get your bearings. “you’re like, never home, sakusa…so how am i supposed to react when you practically teleport in front of me?” you finish, a yawn escaping you. that makes sakusa laugh again. 

“for your information, i didn’t teleport in front of you,” he replies, “i heard the door open, so i went to greet my roommate. now, go get ready for bed.”

you disregard what he says, opting to groan when he orders you to get ready for bed. it just seems like so much work. you have to take off your makeup, change, brush your teeth, do your skincare…you think you’d rather crash face-first on your couch, like you were planning on doing earlier. you tell him that much.

sakusa rolls his eyes again. he pushes you towardsthe bathroom, telling you to take off your makeup, while he goes to rummage in your room for sleepwear. what? 

you don't have much of a choice, so you follow his directions. beginning with your meticulous skincare routine, you cleanse off your makeup. while you’re drying your face, sakusa knocks on the bathroom door with a fresh pair of pajamas for you to change into. 

once you’ve completed your nightly routine, you wander out of the bathroom to find sakusa sitting on the couch. he seems preoccupied with something on his phone, and you have to admit that the sight of him concentrating is rather charming. 

thankfully, the cold water you’d splashed onto your face woke you up, so you’re more awake than you were when you’d entered. you’re still horribly tired, and you want nothing but to sleep in the comfort of your bed, but you feel bad going straight to bed without even thanking sakusa for taking care of you. the only way the two of you talked for the last few months  was over post-it notes, for god's sake! 

“hey, sakusa?” you call, and his attention snaps from his phone to you. “thanks for uh…taking care of me. sorry about all that, i was really tired. or, er, am really tired.” you awkwardly stutter out. 

he hums in response, standing up from the couch and taking long strides towards you. thanks to his height, he’s face-to-face with you in no time. he’s close — maybe a little too close for someone you think probably doesn't even consider you a friend. that leads you to another realization: for someone that you knew disliked social interaction, he’s also talked to you an awful lot today.

“if you were really thankful, you’d go to bed right now and eat what i made tomorrow. you’re exhausted.” he bluntly replies. you gape at him for a moment, about to reply, but he cuts you off. “i’ll be home more often. volleyball is in the off-season now.” 

you know you should just nod and turn on your heel to go to bed, but there’s a question on the tip of your tongue that slips before you’re able to catch it. 

“so… no more whiteboard notes?” you question. sakusa laughs for a third time that night, and you think you’ve hit the jackpot in your slightly delirious state. 

he shakes his head. “no more whiteboard notes for now.”

you wake up the next morning, and when you enter the kitchen, you see a yellow sticky note pasted onto the whiteboard. on it, it reads: 

we can make these lists together now, so there's no need for either of these.

and, yeah, you think you can get used to that. 

[yuliapavlovsky]

Compression top and sleeves

[ktarology]

i imagine iwaizumi is the kind of guy that pays for your nails and never lets your hands leave his lips on the drive home from the salon.

i also like to think if you ask him to help put a necklace on or zip up your dress/tie your top he always leaves a kiss on the back of your shoulder after.

or when you’re on dish duty he’ll collect the dinner plates and stack them for you and dries them off after you’ve washed them.

[ktarology]

this was supposed to just be a brain dump but !! after awhile you ask him to come in and get a manicure with you and he happily obliges. at first he's just getting clear coats but then he branches out and gets little simple designs to match with you .

i also feel the need to add that 1000%% bokuto also matches nails with you actually it was HIS idea to go in with you. he's all in as soon as he sits in the chair and lets you tell them what design you're both going for and you always end up getting his initial on your ring finger:PPP and he never really cares too much about the design as long as he's the other half of your matching set

[ktarology]

i imagine iwaizumi is the kind of guy that pays for your nails and never lets your hands leave his lips on the drive home from the salon.

i also like to think if you ask him to help put a necklace on or zip up your dress/tie your top he always leaves a kiss on the back of your shoulder after.

or when you’re on dish duty he’ll collect the dinner plates and stack them for you and dries them off after you’ve washed them.

[ktarology]

on the table ♡ miya atsumu x gn!reader (a little angsty)

Atsumu swore he never looked so stupid. Wearing a red felt headband with glitter-covered hearts sticking out from the band on silver springs because Hinata said it was a part of the dress code for his valentines day party. Then, he found himself standing in front of your door, in the same headband, flowers he borrowed from Hinata's table decoration in hand, and he has never wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole as much as he does now.

He feels like this is a setup, a joke for the guys to laugh at while they’re in the car waiting for him as he makes a fool of himself trying to get closure from his ex, on Valentine’s day of all days.

Maybe you weren’t going to answer the door if you see him through the peephole, or you're out on a date with someone who can treat you better than he did, someone who didn’t have to make excuses for not spending enough time with you. All the possibilities as to why you still haven’t answered your door after three knocks went circles in his head.

Atsumu turned around to look at the parked car and shook his head. Suna rolled down the window and Hinata poked his head out of it, “BROOO YOU GOT THIS!!” he said, Bokuto wolf-whistled and pumped his fist as they attempted to hype up their friend. Atsumu didn’t even notice you standing in the doorway until the wolf-whistling stopped and Bokuto and Hinata slid down their seats to duck and hide from you.

“Everything okay out here?”

Atsumu nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of your voice. He had planned out what he was going to say to you, and then his mind drew blanks when he turned around and saw you. All the planning he had done sitting in the car, making up scenarios of you rejecting him or you jumping into his arms and even had Suna pretend to be you, had all gone to waste.

He stood there dumbfounded and watched as you furrowed your eyebrows and leaned your head against the door frame waiting for him to say something.

He got out of his head and realized it was now or never, “These are for you”, he said as he offered you the bouquet.

As you accepted the bouquet he felt the weight on his shoulders lift a little. He was not one to be overly nervous but seeing you did a number on him.

He cleared his throat, “Can I come in?”

You hesitantly nodded and made room for him to come in. Atsumu hadn’t been to your place since he walked out. He couldn’t help to feel guilty as he noticed the changes in your living room.

The knitted throw blanket you kept on the arm of the couch he used to wrap around you two while you watched tv was no longer there, the msby letterman jacket he gave you to keep yourself warm while he walked you home from a date used to stay on the coatrack by the door, was nowhere to be seen.

He took a seat on your couch and noticed you scooched over the opposite way. He let out a small laugh and rubbed his palms against his thighs even though the motion did hurt him deep down.

As you two sat in silence for a minute you took it upon yourself to break it, “You gonna tell me what’s going on? Or am I going to have to imagine the worst-case scenario?”. He did show up on your porch unexpectedly, after all, the least he could do was say why.

Atsumu took inhaled deeply, alright you came here for a reason he said to himself.

He turned to completely face you, “I think we’ve- well I made a mistake, and there are some things we both have to say to each other, and we should just...put it all on the table.”

He watched as you shifted in your seat and placed a pillow in your lap, something you always did when you felt on defense. He began to regret showing up here and trying to revive the relationship you had. He felt selfish, coming into your safe space because he wanted you back, but he had to know if you felt the same.

You took a deep breath and huffed, “Alright, let’s lay it out.”

Atsumu took a few seconds to gather his thoughts, he had one more chance and he wasn’t going to take it for granted.

He scooted over closer to you and took your hands into his, “I know that when we broke up, we both agreed it was for the better. I thought that giving you the chance and space to date other people was the right thing. I was wrong. And I’ll admit that I’m being selfish, I’ll proudly label myself as selfish when it comes to you.”, he paused and took a breath as he figured out what to say next.

With as much confidence he has on the court and with everything else he does, you never would’ve expected to find Atsumu as tongue-tied as he is now. The once flamboyant and show-off about himself who could go on forever talking about anything, now struggled to find the right words to say to you.

“What I’m trying to say is, we should give it another shot. If you’ve already moved on, I’ll back off but if you haven’t, I’m still here.” He held your hands a little tighter as he awaited your response.

You tried to move on, you really did. He suggested it after all. Dating other people didn’t seem that bad until you found yourself comparing everyone to him. Others had more time to give you but no one could give you the same feelings he did.

Maybe you were being a bit mean, putting everyone on the scale from 1 to Atsumu, never really giving anyone a chance to replace him. And what would be the point of trying to find someone to replace him, when you could actually have him?

“Not trying to interrupt ya deep thoughts or anything, but ya know I’m still here right?”

You quickly got out of your head and gathered your thoughts to answer him, “I tried the whole dating thing. It didn’t really work out. I guess I found myself wondering if we could make us work rather than trying to work things out with someone else. And I think...we can.”

Before you could even finish off telling him you wanted to give your relationship a second chance, he had lifted you off the couch, spun you around, and pressed kisses all over your face.

“I..promise..I..will..do..everything..to..make..this..work..” he said between each kiss.

You laughed at how each one tickled and when he finally stopped spinning you around. “Okay okay, before I get dizzy.” He put you back down on your feet.

“Couldn’t contain it any longer, I’ve missed you” Atsumu said as he took your face into his palm. He leaned in to kiss you, and then his headband slid down his face. “I should’ve given this back to Shoyo before I came in,” he huffed.

You readjusted the headband, “ ‘m think it’s cute. You gonna tell them they don’t have to sit in front of my house anymore?”

“They’ll be alright”, he took the headband off his head and placed it onto yours, “it’s cuter on you though.”

a/n this is a repost from my ao3 ! i know vday has already passed :PPPP

[eggyrocks]

calloused hands-t. kuroo smau

𖦹his hands are worn from years of volleyball. her’s are worn from years of playing guitar 𖦹

main masterlist

status: completed, but i reserve the right to post bonus content at random

tags: kuroo x f!reader, one sided enemies to lovers, serendipity, university au, reader is a musician in an indie punk band

warnings: language, alcohol use, violence, adult themes, mommy issues im giving yn mommy issues forgot to mention that, grammatical mistakes probably, everyone probably will be out of character, please note warnings may change as story progresses, and to check each chapter for individual warnings

minors dni

taglist: closed

each part is named after the song i listened to while making it

playlist one playlist two

introductions: the band | the team

track one: dumb fucks track two: hair of dog track three: monkey jaw track four: hooked fish [✐] track five: magnet track six: the the empty track seven: heaven track eight: bag of worms track nine: all i think about now track ten: rigid track eleven: the shadow baby track twelve: waiting so long [✐] track thirteen: trace me onto you track fourteen: enumerating track fifteen: kute track sixteen: drunk voicemail [✐] track seventeen: all this love [✐] track eighteen: cream of gold track nineteen: liar's love [✐] track twenty: kill me track twenty-one: anything [✐] track twenty-two: just like heaven [✐]

bonus content: band lore nishinoya + hinata lore mommy issues lore tanaka + kiyoko lore bloody nose (extra chapter)

yn style guide

daily click for palestine 🇵🇸

moodboard/description on calloused hands from @causenessus

"inner child healing, DEF vintage core, lowkey 10 things i hate about you "do you like the girl? is she worth all this trouble? either she is or she isn't" type beat in my very humble opinion. big grunge vibes. throwing rocks out your window. sneaking out of the house. the kind of couple to pack their bags and run away from home together/just leave everything behind to start a new life. definitely a kind of looks like they could kill you and would kill you (yn) and looks like they could kill you but won't (bc he's kuroo i'm in love with my girlfriend and everything i have is her's and i will only fight for her tetsuro). cigarettes after sex (sunsetz) for sure and CURRENT JOYS (honorable song mentions: kids, new flesh, my motorcycle, you broke my heart). ALSO ALSO other really specific kind of references they give me lockwood and lucy (lockwood and co.) vibes except for y/n is lockwood with her kind of i'm not living for anything vibes before kuroo comes into her life I HOPE SOMEONE GETS THIS. OR they're nico and libby "you're a fire hazard. stop apologizing for the damage and just let the fucker burn" (which i interpret as "i'm going to love you no matter what. just be yourself") nico and libby (atlas six) kind of dynamic I DON'T KNOW"

[ktarology]

i’m cooking up a mini series everyone say thank you kuroo tetsuro (24)

i should have the intro post up for it by wednesday !

[ktarology]

kiss ♡︎ bokuto x gn!reader

bokuto doesn’t like to stare, he knows it’s considered rude and he hates the awkward air afterwards when he’s caught. but he just can’t help himself from staring at the pink sheen glazed across your lips.

he should be focusing on the words coming out of your mouth and he has a little bit of shame for thinking about if your lip oil has a flavor (and how many kisses it would take for him to guess it).

but how was he supposed to know you’d be this enticing while simply giving him the rundown of your work day? bokuto desperately wants to shut you up. not that he’s uninterested, he just really would rather feel them move against his.

he doesn’t know what to do. he’s done the triangle method four times , look into your eyes, down to your mouth, and back up to your eyes again and he’s not sure if he’s doing it right or if you’re just not picking up what he’s putting down.cheeks heating up as he’s thinking about another way to get the green light from you to make a move. and then he feels it.

bokuto almost believed he was having phantom pressure on top of his lips. yours are soft, the lip oil you use definitely works. and he feels himself melting with each movement against yours and thanking whichever deity above for you finally getting the hint.

his hands found their home holding your cheeks as yours played with the smalls hairs across his neck. and he wants to stay like this forever and wishes the deity granted you both the ability to not have to come up for air. but he’s not that lucky.

strawberry is his new favorite flavor.

a/n its currently 2:40am and i haven’t written anything in two years but i was listening to kiss by dojaejung and my brain went bonkers

[ktarology]

lazy mornings with bokuto could fix me

[sweetfushi]

fluff | kotaro bokuto x reader.

bokuto’s son is a carbon copy of him and you’re certain others have noticed. his son takes much after him, including hair, eyes and energy. it was overwhelming and exhausting at first, having to deal with two of him while you ran on little sleep.

you didn’t realise that their similarities could actually be used to control both of them simultaneously. bokuto would be watching tv, a bowl of popcorn settled on his stomach as he slumps into the couch. his son coos at the sight of his dad’s large eyes as they focus on the screen, as well as the little puffs he’s eating.

so, his little hands start to grab at bokuto’s beefy arms to steady himself. he stands on shaky legs but steeled drive, giggling as bokuto guides him on his stomach, removing the bowl of popcorn before doing so. the little boy slumps into the dips and curves of his dad’s torso the same way bokuto is slumped into the couch.

he makes the cutest coos and squeals when he’s interested in something, the same way bokuto gasps and amazes over things he’s interested in. one of his son’s tiny hands grabs at the popcorn bowl and makes bokuto grin at the aimless grabbing he does until he grabs a single popcorn.

that single popcorn becomes his emotional support. the little boy stares at it sometimes, entranced by it, or squeezes it subconsciously when he’s too dazed by the tv to do anything else. when bokuto cheers or reacts to the match on tv, his son squeals and throws his hands in the air, just like his dad.

and at the end of the night, you find them curled up asleep, bokuto hugging his son’s tiny body to his chest as the latter lays on his back. tiny snores emanate from both of them, creating a harmonisation of their complete reflection of each other.

sweetfushi © do not modify, repost, translate, copy or use my post in any way. all that is included in this post, aside from the fictional characters and universes, belong to sweetfushi (zee).

[a-pastel-edgelord]

Rintaro Suna believes there are absolutes in life. For example, he'll never score higher than a 75 in social studies, or that chuupets taste best on a hot day... Oh, or that you are totally and completely unavailable.

You call Kita, Shin. You always have ever since he met you. He calls you by your first name as well. He always has ever since Suna knew of your existence.

It's impossible to miss—Kita lives in such a methodical way. Like clockwork you show up in the gym just as practice ends. You help clean up. You make small talk with the team. You wait until Kita is done. Then you walk home together.

Suna didn't think much of you at first, just another person in his orbit. But then, during practice on a particularly hot day you showed up with popsicles and watermelon for the team. Kita scolded you for it, talking about how you spoil them. You shrugged it off, saying you have the right. The rest of the guys rushed to get their treats, Suna gave it a second, too sluggish in the heat. Something cold pressed against his temple. It was you, poking him with a pack of chuupets. You'd gone out of your way to refrigerate them. "You like these right? I saw them on sale so I got you some."

That day, something in his brain stuttered. But not that it mattered because you were taken by the captain of the volleyball team. Even if Kita is a bit of a weird hardass robot kind of guy, Suna likes him. Respects him too much to even entertain the notion of flirting with you.

"Maaaan!" Atsumu whines in the locker room. "I wanna show off my service ace." He's been complaining about you not coming to watch a practice.

Akagi rolls him eyes. "Some people actually study, y'know. Apparently Kita-san is eyein' some fancy university in Tokyo."

"Yeah, Tsumu." Osamu drawls. "Kita-senpai doesn't have volleyball brain like you. So studyin' ain't a lost cause."

Suna pauses halfway through putting on his jacket. "Kita-senpai?" The words are foreign in his tongue.

"Huh?" Gin looks at him. "Yeah. You know. Kita-senpai. They're cousins. We call 'em Kita-senpai so we don't get confused with the captain."

Suna appreciates another absolute as he throws on his shoes and sprints down the stairs to where he knows you're waiting for your cousin. The fact that he is an absolute idiot.