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November Novel Month: Accountability Review
Hi gang,
So it’s now December 1, 2017.
How did November Novel Month go? I didn’t completely write out my dissertation but a good chunk of it did get completed…so I count that as a WIN!!
One of my main goals were to get the publications that are already in the process and on their way for external review to get moved down the pike…and they are!!
December is a new challenge, this time around it is…
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The test has not been leaving the clinic, that's what I realized yesterday. The test is being not in arm's reach of my beloved. Last night after work it was time to leave. Our beloved who is going on a magical journey will be departed for we don't know how long. When one follows spirit this maybe the last time we see them. The ride home was heartbreaking and we could not say goodbye but left the time for shared tears on O'ahu. Sometimes you say bye to people and it's the last time you see them. Sometimes you don't say bye to people and it's the last time you see them. The sadness is saying goodbye to times that are memories and feelings shared, the sadness is a death of ourselves to become who we are supposed to be now that such as beloved energy will soon move forward in their journey to walk into themselves. And we still love, we still are beloveds, we will always be with one another. On the way home they asked, "How's your poop?", "I had a nice one the other day. You?", "Ahh, not yet." These are the questions and blips I'll miss most. True questions about health, unfettered by social taboos or norms (abnormalities actually). The equalizer on the table or pot is we all 💩💩💩, and if we don't we are for sure sick. We all poop and pee and these are indicators of our health, identifying if we are dehydrated, in need of fiber, have something amiss with our kidneys, or other items with the variety that is expelled from our physical beings. Vulnerability is courage in times of the unknown. Great thing about human "waste" is you know what went in the shoot, so can evaluate the end product after filtering through our systems. How amazing is that? If anything we'll always have 💩. #shitportfolio
During the colon hydrotherapy cleanse there wasn't much movement going on outside of table time and if there was, literally cheering occurred. Time has passed, I've been consuming fresh foods and steamed vegetables, chewing my foods forrrrevvveeerrrrr, but if I absorb/intake more nutrients this way I'm okay with it. On Monday it finally happened, it was a nice 💩. I felt so complete, like a human being again. Prior to this I had a pretty focused/intense weekend and keeping on a "normal" healthful feeding schedule (alkaline water still happening). So was totally relieved that plumbing is full service 🙊🙈🙉 once again. 🤗🌈✨💕🙌🏽 Dr. Mary mentioned more than a few times that when children expel waste it's HUGE (For sure the parent readers know more about this than I do) and then as we get older our 💩💩 reduces in size. She attributes reduction in 💩 size to emotional stress and baggage. When we rid ourselves and others from judgement our naʻau is able to relax and process expelled resources as designed. In general, now when I think of people who talk about clogging toilets with the💩I think, "wow they must be/have been super free and happy". (Super rando thought, also maybe plantation plumbing[?]) Since resetting my instestines it's like learning myself all over again. My likes, my new likes, and how to keep fresh and slightly processed produce in grab and go form (open to suggestions, rocking fruits, uts, and hardboiled eggs so far). I feel overwhelmed by grattitude more often now than I have ever before and I like it. Thankful for the small and big items, for my ʻohana, ʻoihana, and kuleana. Nice shit is shit and not shit at all. Mālama tangible and intangible shit. #shitportfolio
#kanehoalani
The moon is growing, light stretching to illuminate witching hour, activity increases when the moon glows round, gravity pulling on water, making waves. Moonlight is still growing marking one anahulu since the beginning of the cleanse. Time has gone by and so much has changed and stayed constant simultaneously. Monthly the ten day colon hydrotherapy cleanse starts on the full moon, this is when parasites are most active in our bodies (🤢, I know). Relatedly I saw an image of a local fishpond harvesting #loulupalm fronds for their hale. It reminded me of the attached paper which tracked the collection of palms to thatch houses during the full moon. In short the local management practices implemented knowledge and experience into best harvesting protocols. These standard procedures were not only to the benefit of the forest (limiting time period of harvest) but also maximized on the benefit of plants chemically responding to insect herbivory during the full moon that prolonged the deterioration rate of the palm. The harvesters work with the lunar cycle so they have to repair their roofs less often (amazing!). This gets me thinking about the parasites in our intestines. It is going on to one #anahulu and I finished my cleanse almost twenty days ago. Everyones experience is unique, as is an example of one of my cohort potentially going on the 30th day of the cleanse (last I heard was 25th 😱). This angel's parasites did not start exiting the body untī day 10 😳, each day after (minimally to day 25) worms have been expelled 😷. This angel exercises, is vegan, and travels to locations that are known to have parasites. In reviewing #ʻōlelonoʻeau most of the sayings I have come to pass related to expelling waste mentions pinworms. Worms can be ingested, picked up by handling dirt, and by going about daily life. One anahulu later I feel energized, focused, committed, and determined to achieve the original goals that I set out with this clease: to write, and focus on completing the final phases of my academic requirements. So far, so good. I love the full moon, I was born on Hoku (I want to say Mahealani, so gotta go check again). #shitportfolio
There are two instances that come to mind here in letting shit fall. 1) Elimination Communication (EC) - a method a pair of my beloveds have been instilling in their precious babes since basically week 2 of his little life. Baby is now going on 12 months shortly and has been using the potty since week 2 of being out of the womb. There is a little potty in the living room but mostly baby uses the regular adult toilet. How's that? Premise: I am not a parent, all I know is what I have experienced with my beloveds. Of course there are accidents but they are far and few betwen. Baby learns from these situations and for the parents it's worth it to teach their child where to potty and learn to observe the signs of when baby wants/needs to potty. In short sometimes shit falls, literally, but I haven't been there when this happens and if it does my friends point out, "better to learn how to use the potty first time around than teach them how to use a diaper then a potty." 2) Intergenerational trust - Being in the "Hawaiian Movement" we literally stand on the solid foundation laid by our ʻohana (blood, work, volunteer). In these moments so much work and effort has been invested that to see the upcoming generation slip, stubble, or fall could be excrutiating. But we need to fall, we need to know how to get back up, we need to push on forward because one day we will be the sole decisionmakers and one day we will need to provide space for the next generation to fall as well. Letting shit fall is beyond releasing shit, it is trusting that shit will work out by design, no need to force shit, no need to withhold shit, just surrender shit, hang ups, misinformed disbeliefs, and that "tiny mustard seed" of doubt, let that shit fall to the waysides. I've been asking what kind of movements my friends have been having in open discussion. From the descriptions sounds like emotional tightening, bacteria release, and lots more fiber needed all around. EC & Intergenerational trust are one in the same, on opposite sides of a continuum. One believes before the other knows and the later knows before they believe. Let Shit Fall, trust in love of self and ʻohana, fall. #shitportfolio
There I was walking on the side of this road, thinking of where I was walking. I got half way to my "destination", looked down, saw my cup was less than full, and then turned around to fill it. I had lost it all by that point, I had lost it all but still filled my cup as mich as I could then went back to where I was headed. When I got there it was dark, I saw movement, I heard voices, I trusted who they were with, and brought them over to our house. This is an old pattern, a pattern I had grown a reputation for, not such a positive light, but nevertheless still a claim to fame that I don't think should be so famous. In my line of work there is minimal comfort zone to be within, especially in the beginning. It's all about the unknown because that is the question we are seeking. Over the past 10 years I made it my business to put myself in uncomfortable situations, in awkward circumstances, to train myself to have the grit to persevere past my own feelings and naʻau to make it to "the finish line". This night the finish line was a fairy tale, the walk was time put in between spaces to let me think about what I was actually doing, where I was actually going, and what did I actually think was going to happen when I got there. I returned home safely, a friend there to greet me with warmth, I stayed a minute then went to sleep. When I woke up I realized what I had done. I thought I had released that pain, that history, that moment. No. I was still grasping on to it, my ego too mighty to stand for a loss. As the day moved forward I realized I hadn't released the shit I thought I had. It is still with me, in my naʻau, the wound still gapping and deep. I am exhausted, it has been an exhaustive experience beyond ten years, beyond my professional career, a tender moment in time still raw. I need to release that shit, forgive myself, forgive my understandings, and look at everything that has come from that moment, me. I have become who I am because of those small moments that have accumulated along the way, the one liners shared, overheared, read, screenshotted, words that come from I know not where. But today it was clear, release shit and don't turn back. True self-love.
Drag show been looking forward to since summertime or ʻOhana meeting? Next time friends, ʻohana it is, and it feels damn good. ʻOhana, or family, is more than blood for me. ʻOhana is thick and thin, is honesty in tough times, is support when you are against insurmountable odds, is staying together through life and death situations, she's our "pop up community", and I love this ʻohana. It's been a while since I have been around but never left at the same time. We are omnipresent and omnipotent each and everyone of us. We struggle, celebrate, mourn, bussass, go through hardships and times of euphoria together, naked, clothed, in the ocean, on mountains, in our kitchens, and at our dinner tables. We share voice, breath, life, opportunities, love, embrace, tears, energy, knowledge, rain showers, ceremonies, shadows, light, and vibrations from the gods. This ʻohana is cosmic, is relations, and deep in my naʻau. We all have shit, doesn't matter what ʻohana we in, we all hapai it together. No less than 5 minutes at the ʻohana gathering and someone asks me about the cleanse, another comments on these #shitprofile posts, we are all on this journey of discovery together. After work today Bodhi called to say she has a salad for me, seriously simple #uglydelicious all around. She asked about how my "business" was going and I said amazing! Mentioned the #shakeology I was drinking that my friend recommended and Bodhi said, "Does it work? Can I try some?" Since our colon cleansing buddy experience I have had the most euphoric friendship with Bodhi, who is 30 years my senior. She is my ʻohana, she is a beacon for me, and the one who continues to inspire love and is imbued in many of these reflections. This @kahoolawe ʻohana is one in the same as Bodhi is to me; intergenerational love. We learn intimate details about eachother's habits, corks, and "morning rituals". Then there is keeping the ʻohana together, lifting up anew to lead the many, dedication unseen and thankless, this is ʻohana. When we get down to it "personal" business is ʻohana business because we love each other and only wish health wealth for one another. So no shame, ask, it's another way to say #iloveyou.
#uglydelicious
Petty Shit. Or my Dad would say, "That's manini shit, little shit. Let it go!", "no worry about the other guy, take care of yourself" and at the sametime "be kind to others no matter what". Went to work today, for real for real, and my mind started wandering towards petty shit, manini shit. I focused on those thoughts long enough that they began to change my mood, got irritable, then I dove into work. I was on three seperate projects at once and by the time 12AM rolled around I had forgotten about the thought that originally perturbed my focus. I shifted,looking at the bigger picture of the impact my work, intentions, and reach with these other three projects (and now I just remembered another deadline by early tomorrow/today [1:26AM] 😳😱). It's the little items that distract me from my farther away, more important, roles/goals in life. Petty thoughts were also plaguing me re: regularity. It had been near 10 days after I completing the cleanse and it was little shits here and there (I just wanted to poo again!) and I didn't have to wait too long (😆💩) bc today was that day where the bigger picture came to play. Reminder: long term health > short term turn arounds. I started another kuleana today and in doing so I got stopped in my tracks, once again, and had to hold in emotions. It was a message asking for help, assistance, relief, and hope. I read it, took it a little personal, and got invested quick. This message made me soooo thankful for where I am at today healthwise and also made me reflect that I do get amped when I am helping other people...and it kind of goes the bigger the problem the deeper the dive, and with this message I was all in. Stark contrasts between life and death situations keep me grounded and grateful, thankful for time, thankful for supportive environments, thankful for the hustle my parents instilled in me (seriously, best gift ever: self-discipline), thankful for the conversations that make my universe ever expanding. In the end, like Dad says, "Be cool, no fuss, cruise." I never really got that last phrase until I got to Hilo, Hilo is on it's own timeline. Hawaiʻi Island only cares about big shit. I like that. #shitportfolio (at Wailuku River)
Building Community Colon Health Awareness + Conference Call: #colonhydrotherapy #questions #answers #testimony 10/30 6-7pm #physical 11/20 6-7pm #mental 11/27 6-7pm #emotional Call in #: 563-999-2090 Access code: 834761 #shitportfolio (at Hilo, Hawaii)
Keep it simpo. #stirfryveggies #eggplant #hardboiledegg #sandp
Non-action is not striving for resolution or recognition but is about retreating to our centers to cultivate humility, patience, and conscientiousness. Non-action is to be on the path of acceptance, self-inquiry, and self improvement while meeting with success after the storm passes. "In a great storm the wise bird returns to her nest and waits patiently" - 62. Hsiao Kuo/ Preponderance of the Small [thunder over mountain] There were great meetings today. Firdt Bodhi shared with me a quote from our beloved Manu Meyer, "The value of great importance has no fear of time" Rocking my MF world Manu, rock my MF world. I shared that quote to two other people and both were taken aback. They were both colleagues and working on projects and relationships that will out live them and two more generations to come, so the quote was relevant. One even texted it to themselves. Non-action is a foreign idea to many but when in practice makes so much sense. I used to force many things in my life, even shitting. Now I just focus on releasing, providing space, and cultivating empathy. We all fall off the wagon but getting back on, and consistently showing up is the way to be. Non-action can also be looked at as if you dislike something, raise up what you do like; if you feel you should do something, follow your gut; if you have a thought and don't know why it came up repeatedly in your day write it down. Non-action does not me not doing, non-action is the movement of a glass lake ocean, it is the photosynthesizing of plants when the sun is out, it is taking a shit when it is time to take a shit (don't force it, you will hurt yourself). Non-action has definitely taken a step forward during and following the cleansing process. Update: I lost 4lbs. since completing the cleanse on 10/14/17 😱🙈😆. I naturally eat smaller portions, am back in my alkaline water, and have been sooo productive I need to remind myself to sleep/eat (passion for writing/researching is back 🔥🔥🔥). #impermanentlife #shitportfolio
Scared as Shit + Thankful 2B 🏘. Hug a loved one, say I love you. We have these expressions... "Eat, Sleep, Shit", "Good Shit", "Scared As Shit" but what do they really mean? I don't know how shit can be scared, maybe to drop (?), but tonight, on the way back to Hilo from Hawaiian Beaches, I was SCARED AS SHIT. 1) It was dark as shit. No lights. 2) You couldn't see shit more than a few feet in front. 3) I stopped from hitting the tree in the road just 10 feet from the fall. 4) The carlights you see peeking over the hill hit the tree full on. 5) No one was hurt due to the tree impacting the ground and basically discentergrating from wood decay. 6) I go lost, like really lost, like I got turned around back to where I started and I didn't recognize the road. 7) When I went back to the tree and saw a cop I thought I was safe, wrong. 8) I asked the cop for directions, he didn't listen to me, he yelled at me the enire time, shined his light in my eyes like he was deer hunting during new moon, and then got so annoyed with my question of "how do I get out of here" he pulled me over and asked for my license, registration, and insurance (wtf man, I'm a lost). 9) Driving on roads on Hawaii Island is basically signing your life away due to lack of infrastructure and intentional lack of lighting where lamps are available (the florescent sidewalk lights provide more street lighting than the actual street lamps). LESSON: i) I understand the chaos of hurricane Irene (?) in Puna better than before, ii) Trees on Hawaiʻi Island in rural areas should be no closer to the road than they are tall, iii) The stress that home owners and rural residents feel when trees block access to anywhere is intense, iv) Hawaiʻi Police Departments can benefit from training on effectively communicating/listening with the people that they serve (especially those that are scared and are looking to them for safety and sanctuary), and v) Don't drive pass electical wires during a treefall (I didn't do it, I didn't want to find out). How was your night? #shitportfolio
REVIEW: Hawaiian Miles Mastercard + Building Credit
I have friends who have never had a credit card and those who are interested in alternative currencies (i.e. airline mileage). This is for the financial nerd inside.
DISCLOSURE: Information shared here are based on my experience as a Bank of Hawaii Mastercard holder who went from a credit score of < 250 (“bad”) to 620 (“good”). I am not a financial advisor, I have not worked in the finance…
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Eat, Sleep, Shit. The pillars of our daily routine, everything circles around these three activities. We spend almost 32,000 hours/ 3.6 years eating, 230,000 hours/26 years sleeping, and according to @reddit we spend almost 6,000 hours / over 240 days (the median used for poo time is 12 minutes) in the loo. These chomping, digestive, excretive systems work in harmony (best case scenario) to process matter, absorb nutrients, and expel waste for a total time of thirty years so we can work, play, laugh, love, contribute, and be of service to our communities. It's been rough getting back on "real" food but I'm back! Picked up my first 1 gallon jug of alkaline water along with a bunch of traveling fruit (fruit that can be chucked in my ʻeke when on the go w/o plastic packageing) and many of my firsts (spaghetti squash, dragon fruit, red pear, miniature apples) to increase fiber in my diet and replace processed flours with innovative veggie usage. [I still got ⚓️ ⚓️☹️]. Over the weekend I was on total lockdown and glad it happened. I got to observe my own body movements and emotions without outside influence (it's proven that if people THINK they are being watched we change our behavior). Washington D.C. highlighted that I value my alone time more than I had originally weighted. This weekend I focused on eatting, sleeping, and shitting, no joke. My body is relearning this newly cleaned colon, new ʻono for new foods, and adjusting to water intake. I actually turned down chocolate 😳😳🙈. So far so good. For perspective I used to eat, sleep, and shit volleyball, academics, policy, hula, writing reports (still there on this one), Kahoʻolawe, writing plants guides, e aʻe...but this is the first time that I ate, slept, and shit with the focus of eatting, sleeping, and shitting. It's a novel concept. I did things too like moved furniture, cleaned house, and balanced finances so it's possible to conciously multi task with this goal. If you want to only focus on these three items lmk how that weekend goes too, sounds amazing already! #impermanentlife #shitportfolio
Where there's a will there is a way...only got to fill up one gallon of alkaline water ($2.00) but one more than I had before I went. Excited to finish my water bottle and put this in my flask. #cheerskealoha #alkaline #water