searing steel

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love is stored in the laegjarn

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Laevatein had never kissed anyone before.

She had never even thought about it before today, never even considered herself someone capable of receiving affection. Sure, she’d seen others flirting with one another, but it wasn’t a situation she could see herself in, because who would even see her like that?

But that question had been answered.

What scares her the most isn’t Alfonse’s affection, but rather that she... likes it, the feeling of his lips against her own. He’s so gentle with her, kissing her like she’s worthy of being admired, as a person and not a soldier. 

She shakes her head. “No... go ahead.”

His eyes are so blue, nothing like the harsh fiery atmosphere of Muspell she’s used to. Perhaps that’s why she feels so calm.

(Surely later when it all sinks in, she will not feel this calm. But for now, she doesn’t think of anything else.)

“Actually... is it, um, is it okay if I -- if I kiss you?” Just hearing herself ask makes Laevatein’s heart stutter. She’s not used to initiating things she wants; she’s not even used to wanting things. It feels taboo, somehow, to ask.

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Laevatein watches Alfonse stammer with rising embarrassment; she’s making him feel this way, just by being herself, and she hadn’t even known she was capable of eliciting those feelings in anyone. But the same is true in reverse, and she watches Alfonse with an odd fluttering in her stomach, wondering when she had let her guard down this much.

Surely this hadn’t been what Anna meant when she had encouraged her to get out and relax with new experiences, right?

Of course, the logical response is no, you and I are enemies and there’s no military purpose to such a relationship. Thinking of her father reacting to Askr’s prince asking her such a question -- it’s almost laughable. If Surtr were alive, he would punish her for even glancing at Alfonse in a friendly manner. Just interacting with Alfonse is rebelling against her upbringing, in a way.

But... no, it’s not just that. She’s not just here with Alfonse to spite the memory of her upbringing. He’s interesting, and very kind.

“Yeah,” Laevatein says -- not particularly eloquent, but she’s always been a little too blunt, even in situations that don’t call for it. That she’s even agreeing surprises her -- perhaps she had been sitting in the steam for too long and her mind had become addled. She doesn’t feel particularly threatened by him touching her, either.

With one hand she brushes his bangs from his forehead, feeling a bit anxious but softening to his uncertainty. “Your nervousness is making me nervous,” Laevatein admits quietly. “But it’s... not bad. It’s new. I think I may... like this feeling.”

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Feel something? Since when has Laevatein even known how to feel? But she regards his words seriously, scanning his face with confusion and a little embarrassment. Alfonse is such a genuine, gentle person. He’s smart, definitely smarter than she is -- which isn’t saying much -- and... cute.

...He is cute, right? She doesn’t have any frame of reference for thinking that about anyone.

Laevatein bites her lip. They’re both royalty, as much as she wants to deny it, so there’s technically nothing wrong with considering him... a...

Have I lost my senses? I tried to kill him once.

“Um,” she starts, feeling her own face heat up, and not in the pleasant warmth of the fires of Muspell kind of way. “I’m not good at this,” Laevatein mumbles, and Alfonse is so sincere she can’t help but stutter over her words a little. What if she’s just projecting because he’s being nice to her? But she can’t imagine feeling this off balance with the other Heroes who had reached out since she arrived here. “I think I may be... a little... drawn to you. Is -- is that okay...?”

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Apparently her honest answer regarding her sister had made him a bit uncomfortable, which she understands. Laevatein and Laegjarn made a rather intimidating duo, but on her own, well... Laevatein doesn’t have that same imposing presence, that much is for certain.

“Princess Sharena wants everyone to be friends with everyone, doesn’t she?” Laevatein muses, but she’s a bit distracted. Even someone like her, who’s slow on the uptake of pretty much everything, can’t help but wonder if Alfonse is denying his own words a little too much.

“I do enjoy the hot springs,” she agrees, speaking carefully, “but are you, um, really at ease?” Even though he’s probably mortified, his awkwardness comes as a bit of a relief to Laevatein, who had always thought she was the only one who struggled with such interactions. “I’m glad we don’t have to fight anymore, but...”

She scrunches her face together, trying to find the words. “If you were, uh, flirting...” The word sounds so strange on her own lips. What would Laegjarn say in this situation? Surely someone as beautiful as her sister had dealt with these kinds of advances before. “Well, um, you’re an important person around here, and people would think it was strange if you talked to me too much. Also, I don’t know what it’s like to be allowed to have those kinds of feelings,” she adds in a mumble. So overall, it would be a bad...” Laevatein coughs. “...Tactical choice. If you were. Which you’re, um, not. Because you said you weren’t.”

[bubble-trumpetsdoodles]

they finally let her smile!!!! 

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Soft? That’s new. Laevatein blinks, considering his words, his description of her of all people as soft. And then, he calls sparring with her fun, which is equally novel. Ever since arriving in Askr and meeting Heroes from other worlds with varied interests and hobbies, Laevatein can only think of herself as excessively boring in comparison. But if training with her can bring someone else enjoyment, then that makes her satisfied -- and maybe even a little happy.

“There’s no reason I would fight you now,” she says, watching his his fingers tease the tangles from her hair. She had been expecting the contact to make her feel uncomfortable, but instead it makes her feel more at ease somehow. It’s strange.

For some reason, she wants to touch his hair, too... but coming from her, the gesture would seem so much less natural; so she holds off, still feeling a little awkward that she’d even had the thought in the first place.

“My sister?” Laevatein echoes, willfully ignoring the close and personal part. “Um... hmm. Laegjarn always tried to protect me from everything, so she probably wouldn’t trust you,” she admits. “But I have to think about things on my own now, so I guess... I’m not really worried. If you attacked me, I wouldn’t hesitate to injure you. Even in here.” A cough. “That, uh, that wasn’t a threat... I don’t think you’re going to attack me. I mean, I don’t feel like I’m in danger.” Here she is supposed to be relaxing, and still all she can think about is combat. Even with the threat of war gone, it’s difficult to change those ingrained thought patterns and habits.

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He seems to have calmed down, which is a relief. Laevatein knows she wouldn’t have been able to comfort or relax him if he had continued to panic, simply because she has no idea how to handle those kinds of situations.

When Anna had suggested she relax, Laevatein hadn’t quite believed it was possible. But Alfonse is being nice to her, and treating her like a normal person -- someone he actually wants to have a conversation with, even. It’s something she never would have quite thought possible.

“Well --” For a moment, her words dry up as Alfonse touches her hair. This is beyond just being nice to her, isn’t it? He’s acting almost fond, and that’s... surprising, considering their history -- but not unwelcome. Realizing she’d been quiet for too long, she coughs. “Yes, you get used to it. But it was hard in Nifl for us... it was very cold.” She frowns, remembering her shivering discomfort in the land of snow and ice. “Here in Askr, it’s sort of... in the middle, isn’t it?”

Alfonse has very blue eyes, such a different shade from her own family. She’s staring at him a bit too intently, though she doesn’t realize what she’s doing. “Do you really not hold a grudge against me?” she asks bluntly, tilting her her head to one side and waiting to gauge his reaction.

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Never seen a woman’s body? That can’t be right. Surely he’s bathed with his sister before... but Laevatein supposes that’s different, even if she hasn’t given much thought to it. “I guess I haven’t bathed with a man before either,” she says after a moment of thought. “The other soldiers were a little afraid of me, I think, back home.” It’s not like she would have cut down her allies for that reason, though. 

“I don’t think that about you. All you did was fix my hair.” It would be easier for the both of them if he calmed down a little, Laevatein thinks. She sighs. “You know, if the enemy approaches you unclothed and you freeze up, that could be the difference between life and death. You should be more careful.” It’s the closest she can manage to a joke, and even then it is delivered in her usual deadpan.

If she really thinks about it, it’s actually a little amusing that he’d reacted in such a drastic manner -- over her of all people. Compared to his much bubblier sister, Alfonse always seemed much more serious and straight-laced. She hadn’t expected him to be the kind of person to panic from a little embarrassment.

It’s endearing, but -- they’re not even friends, so does she have any right to think that about him?

“You can get in the water. I can, um, not look at you, if you want.” Laevatein still doesn’t know what to think about this interaction. “And if it makes you feel any better... well, everything is new to me. I never even thought about being embarrassed when you saw me... you must think I’m very strange.”

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Laevatein isn’t the quickest on the uptake by any means, but even she knows that Alfonse wasn’t assessing her body an an enemy or even an ally soldier, but as... as what, exactly? As a woman? The thought is strange, since she doesn’t really consider herself as such. Not that she’s not, but she’d never had the chance to be treated like a princess, despite being one; Muspell isn’t really a kingdom of royal balls and courtship, just training and fighting in an endless cycle.

“I’m not going to strike down an ally,” Laevatein says carefully. Though she had offered to leave Alfonse be in the hot spring, it’s quite nice in the warm water surrounded by steam, and she doesn’t want to get out.

But it’s strange. Alfonse is usually so composed -- or at least seems so from afar -- and just seeing her without clothes on has completely rattled him. Does her body have admirable qualities? Laevatein squints, considering her physical features beyond her combat skills. Her hands are far from delicate, her skin mottled with scars, and she’s fairly muscular, too... 

Maybe this is what feeling self-conscious feels like. She’s not sure she likes it.

“Um, okay. I forgive you?” Laevatein doesn’t even know what part of it he’s apologizing for, and that ignorance must make her seem like a freak, too. But she wishes she could say something to put him more at ease... “There’s no reason to be nervous. Whatever you were thinking, I... well, I’m not good at figuring those things out. Maybe if you told me, I’d understand.” Hopefully he doesn’t think she’s purposely tormenting him by asking.

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Laevatein freezes slightly when Alfonse reaches over to untangle her hair. The only person who had ever touched her hair like that in a gentle manner had been Laegjarn, so the gesture confuses her. She barely knows Alfonse, and yet... she finds she doesn’t mind it.

She takes a moment to look at him while he’s close, assessing him not as an enemy but simply taking note of his features. No one else is there to tell her what to think, so for once she has the freedom to feel whatever she wants. Alfonse has a very gentle face, she thinks to herself, and it makes her curious. Why is he being so nice to her? And why --

The thought doesn’t even have the chance to form before Alfonse is suddenly panicking and running away from her. Laevatein blinks, completely baffled by the situation -- before it hits her.

“Oh... because you’re naked?”

The question comes out more bluntly than she had intended, and she coughs once. She hadn’t thought to be embarrassed before, but now that she realizes Alfonse thought she had been staring at him, then he may also have been staring at her. A flush of heat creeps to her cheeks that’s almost certainly not a product of the steam.

“It’s, uh, it’s fine?” How is she supposed to respond to his panicked apologies? “I mean. I already knew you didn’t... have clothes on. It’s a hot spring.” Gods, Laevatein does not know what to say, and her lack of tact is causing her to struggle further.  “Sorry... if I bothered you by coming here. I can leave if you want to come back in...”

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The warmth enveloping his body was certainly nice. All the stress and tension almost melting away as he relaxed more and more into the steam. He listened to Laevatein’s words and could hear how awkward she sounded. Alfonse knew her best when they sparred or just way back when. When they fought in the flames.

But here was different, Alfonse almost got to see a different side of Laevatein. It was almost nice to see that side of her. Something he could relate to, something that made her seem more human than anything to him. Alfonse’s mind still couldn’t shake the fact that she was here relaxing with him though. 

Was it a good thing that they were both comfortable being beside each other in such a vulnerable state?

Alfonse decided to do something a bit bold and scooted closer to the woman. He wasn’t near her but closer than before. He could see the flush on her cheeks from the warmth of the springs. It was pleasantly cute to see her up close like this without her trying to aim for his throat.

“Training is important, yes. But it is also important to take time to relax. Has training been going well for you?” Alfonse looked up to the ceiling to see the steam rise and disperse out of the building. He thought of the steam almost like his worries, just fading away.

Laevatein blinks when he moves closer. That’s a good sign, right? It means he’s not afraid of her, or at least doesn’t hate her.  She herself has no residual feelings of antagonism towards Alfonse; she hadn’t even disliked him in the first place, simply fighting him to carry out her duties. Now for the first time, she finds herself wondering if they could actually be... friends, or something of the sort. Is that even possible with their shared history?

(Perhaps sitting in a hot spring isn’t the best place to contemplate this.)

“There are a lot of people trained in the sword here,” she says. “I get to watch them and train a lot. They’re all from different worlds... I never knew anything outside Muspell. And everyone fights differently... I didn’t even know some of those sword techniques existed.” Listing off everything she doesn’t know probably makes her sound a bit naive, but it’s new for her to be curious about anything, and only recently has she experienced any taste of outside worlds.

She runs one hand through her hair under the water, scowling when she hits a snag. It always feels so unmanageable when it’s not tied up. “We could spar,” Laevatein blurts, remembering then that Alfonse is also trained in swordplay. “Uh. Obviously... not right now.”

[inkanii]

Happy new year! Goodbye 2018~

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Alfonse blinked as he watched Laevatein slowly dip herself into the springs. Did she not care that he was here as well? Enjoying the springs. He felt a small amount of nerves crawl up his spine. He was defenseless and if she were to attack somehow-

No Alfonse, she’s not here for battle. She’s here to relax as well. He slowly glanced to the woman and he had no idea if it was because of the steam or just being around another person with no clothing on. Granted, nothing could be seen under the waters, but he knew that she was naked as well as he was.

..Brain please. Cease this.

Alfonse slowly rose from the water so that the water was halfway up his chest then. He glanced over to the woman and gave a small smile.

“It’s nice to just relax like this every now and then. Wouldn’t you agree?” Alfonse could feel his stress and worries washing away as he stayed in the water.

It doesn’t even cross Laevatein’s mind to feel awkward (all bodies are the same after you’ve taken their life in battle, she thinks dully) until she notices a flash of discomfort across Alfonse’s face when she steps into the water. Has she breached some line of etiquette she doesn’t know about? Suddenly feeling as though Alfonse is judging her somehow, she sinks deeper until only her face is peeking up from the spring.

“Relax?” Laevatein echoes. “Well... it’s warm. I like the warm.”

Talking to others has become gradually easier the more time she spends around the castle, but talking to Alfonse -- that’s a whole other matter entirely.  She doesn’t even know anything about him other than what Laegjarn had told her during the war: that he cares about the well-being of his family and citizens almost to a fault, and that he’s still fairly naive and idealistic for a prince. But neither of those facts are particularly easy conversation (they’re more exploitable weaknesses than anything), and she certainly doesn’t want to talk about family. Would it be strange to just sit in silence?

...Well, he did just try to make conversation, so -- probably.

“I’m not used to relaxing,” she admits. “I always feel like I should be... doing something else. Like training.” Even the words alone make her yearn for the feel of her blade in her hands. “The hot springs... are nice, though.”

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Alfonse had terrifying experiences of late. His body was tense and he just needed to clear his mind. He had made the decision that the best action would be to take an hour or two and go to relax in the Aether Resort and head to the hot spring. 

Once he had entered the facility, he shed his clothing and replaced everything with a towel around his waist. He knew that no one would be in the hot spring now, so it was a perfect time for him to soak. Slowly dipping his foot into the spring, it was an almost perfect temperature for him to completely relax. 

He eventually entered the spring fully and got into one of the nice corners of the spring and relaxed fully. His muscles relaxed and his body was warming up to a nice temperature. He could withstand the heat very well, but there was always something about being alone in the spring that was a lot more comforting. 

He dipped lower into the water so that his entire chest was under the water. Only his head was above the water then, closing his eyes, he relaxed further into the water then. The delicate smell of vanilla filled the air and he almost fell asleep a few times, but upon hearing footsteps against the floor. He immediately stiffened up. 

He had hoped that whoever was joining would leave so that he could keep enjoying himself with the alone time. 

Laevatein has never been good at relaxing. She wakes up, trains with her sword, and follows orders -- at least, that has been her life up until this point. In Askr, downtime isn’t just common, but necessary to boost morale and let soldiers recharge. 

Anna insisted that she looked tense and had told her to take some time for herself to relax. But Laevatein still isn’t quite sure what that ever means -- what puts her mind at ease? With what little imagination she can muster, she tries to picture what a relaxing atmosphere would feel like. All she can come up with is that she would be somewhere very warm. There’s no volcanoes in Askr, nothing even close, but there are hot springs, which is probably the closest she can manage.

It feels strange to strip off her armor and take the accessories from her hair; that familiar paranoia that she will be attacked unarmed begins to creep in, and she shakes it off, wrapping a towel around her waist and stepping towards the spring. 

Only then does Laevatein realize that she’s not alone. The company itself doesn’t bother her, but -- it’s the Prince of Askr soaking in the spring, the same prince whose blade had clashed with hers on the opposite side of a terrible war. Surely he still feels resentment towards her?

...Well, then she just won’t talk at all. Problem solved. (Or perhaps it’s worse that way, but she’s never been good at making the proper social calls...) With a soft sigh Laevatein lowers herself into the water and moves to the opposite corner of the water from Alfonse, pointedly looking in another direction. So much for this experience being relaxing.

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He takes the proffered kickboard and holds it above him like a trophy, before looking it over as though it’s some strange, foreign object. As she explains its use, he’s quick to nod and tuck it under his arm.

“Yepperooni, I sure did. No peeling skin for this boyo today, nya ha!” He gives a mock salute, then turns to face the water shimmering in the sunlight. Timid waves lap at the shore, bright blue up close but dark in the distance, the deeps looming close by. Grinning to his ears, Henry looks to Laevatein. “Last one to the water is a rotten egg!”

And so, fearless, he takes up his chicken legs and makes a beeline for the water, splashing in once he gets close enough. It’s cool but refreshing, and he wastes little time wading out to waist level. Hold onto the board and kick around, she’d said. Sounds simple enough. “Hehee, welp, here goes.”

And so, not quite so elegantly as a fish, he flops into the water and putters around, holding tightly to his lifeline as instructed. As he kicks about with no small enthusiasm, he looks to his friend and hums in contemplation. “Do you think baby fishies have to go through swimming school? I wonder what life underwater would be like…”

Rotten egg? ...Oh, he means he’s racing her. By the time the phrase registers, Henry has already made it halfway to the water, and Laevatein has no chance of catching up with him. Still she darts after him, splashing wildly once reaching the water.

She chuckles softly at Henry’s enthusiastic efforts. It’s completely graceless but also endearing -- most likely exactly how she looked when she started out. Actually, she’s not that much more graceful now; delicacy has never been her strong suit. “It’s fun, isn’t it?”

While he kicks and splashes, Laevatein moves a bit deeper into the water to practice her treading water -- but not too far, on the off chance an errant wave sweeps her away. “School?” she echoes. “What about your birds? Did you have to teach them to fly?” How would that even work? Henry doesn’t know how to fly -- probably. Actually... no, that’s ridiculous. No human being can fly.

She contemplates the question seriously. “I think I’d miss being on land. I prefer the mountains to the ocean. Where you’re from, um -- was there a lot of ocean?” As she asks the question, Laevatein realizes she’d never asked him much about his origins. It’s something she hardly considers when talking to new people except as an afterthought.