she js told me she might come visit in AUGUST?!?!?!?! suddenly it feels way too soon to meet her irl i feel like im gonna throw up

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@kumbricbitch
she js told me she might come visit in AUGUST?!?!?!?! suddenly it feels way too soon to meet her irl i feel like im gonna throw up
my ocd has me so convinced that the three people im going to email tomorrow to ask to be references for me absolutely HATE me and are so so mad at me and loathe me and think i'm stupid and pathetic
like i REALLY need to send these emails to ask them but i also REALLY Don't Want To Do That
me, about to hit send on a reply to someone's close friends ig story: she probably forgot she added me to her close friends list, like i shouldn't even be there idk why i'm on that list! i'm practically invading her privacy by looking at this story that i probably wasn't meant to see! so why am i replying??? where do i get the audacity??? just because she experienced a literal hate crime and posted about it doesn't mean i need to acknowledge it in any way!! even though if it were me i would hope someone would acknowledge it because person of color to person of color, experiencing racism feels awful! but she probably hates me, i think she actually might hate me so this reply to say im sorry and offer her a few words is only going to make her mad and upset and i'll get blocked--
i love my pal but it's been almost 3 weeks since she replied to me like this is why i gotta have multiple bffs i guess
it’s nice to love her from afar and in my dreams
maybe tomorrow I’ll take a shot or two and reply to the four dms I have waiting for me bc it is Pride after all
ocd is fucking insane I’m obsessed and then repulsed and then obsessed and then repulsed and then obsessed and then repulsed and then o
I do not wish I had one of her sweatshirts just because it started raining and got chilly good god what’s happening to me, I feel a bit sick
i am already pre-nervous for the day she tells me she's booked a plane ticket to CA
no i actually cant fit doing this thing that takes 5 minutes into my schedule sorry :/ i only have the entire day free i just cant
hope tumblr lasts another 20 years so i can liveblog my midlife crisis
I don’t like the thoughts in my head
me after getting a selfie from her: oh- OH my god she’s gorgeous what do I say? Google what’s something normal to say after receiving a photo from a beautiful wo- [falls down a flight of stairs]
i saw this somewhere else but reply / tag what you did today so everyone can see that we all did something different today
also the irony of having 3 ppl in my t!nder dms rn.... like it's been 48 hours fine i'll bite, it's pride month after all
just saw a tiktok of a foreigner demonstrating what american expressions/active listening faces + sounds appear like in real time and i fucking gasped and SCREAMED bc my voice notes to Her are just fucking like that all the time HELPPPP
like she rly nailed it when she said the key to mastering american mannerisms is having 'self awareness' and trying to prove to everyone else that you're 'normal' by prefacing anything you're abt to suggest like 'hey i know this is weird, but...' or 'i know this might sound crazy...' or 'totally okay if you don't want to/no pressure but...' and then making lots of facial expressions to go w it to show that you know something is weird (but you're actually normal)