i'm limited

Kurt Hummel. Twenty-one. Kurt Hummel, or Peter Pan, depending on who you're asking. Twenty-one. In a relationship with Blaine Anderson. Employee at Walt Disney Studios in Florida, specifically as Peter Pan. When I'm not at Disney, you can find me at home watching reruns of the classic (and sadly, cancelled) television show, What Not to Wear. And before you so idiotically ask; yes, I'm gay. No, I don't know your gay nephew from Iowa, Martha. Anyways, enjoy yourself on my blog and if you have any questions, comments, or concerns, feel free to shoot me a message!

[princebleric-blog]

For you, my love, that is subtly persuading. France, yes! I would love to visit France! You speak French? Wow, that’s really, uh, really cool.! And kind of really hot.

It sounds quite torturous, you’re right. Again. I think I’m just too easy to crack and spill all my deep, dark secrets, including the deepest and darkest of them all – the “if I tell you, I’d have to kill you” type secrets. I’m just a terrible liar in general. You, on the other hand, are impossible to crack. Perhaps I could learn a thing or two from you.

[kurt-pan-blog]

And what makes you think that? Am I not allowed to share my opinion? Doesn’t everybody want to visit France? I do! I still think it’s one of the most beautiful languages in the world. Is it? Comment intéressant.

Exactly, why would you ever want to go through that? You are very easy to crack. Oh? Considering you haven’t killed me yet, I assume I haven’t been told any of those secrets. What a shame. You probably could, would you like me to teach you the art of never cracking? 

[wonderful-world-of-lopez-deacti]

I have no idea. Some things just happen, you know? Listen, I don’t know anything about hair gel, I don’t use it, all I know is that his hair is always shiny like it’s wet. That’s all. His hair, not his head. I guess you’d take care of getting his head wet.

There you go, you cracked the code. Then again, I think all of those cases were just because the late 80s to mid 90s were the only time Disney movies were worth watching. Addicts go to crazy lengths to protect their drugs, you don’t think they’d do the same for people they love?

[kurt-pan-blog]

Perhaps the government is feeding you all this information about false conspiracy theories in your sleep, so that you preach them and convince everybody that they’re true in order to distract us from the real truth. Rest assured, it’s not wet. Ew. How would I even?.. Actually, I don’t want to know. 

That’s true. That really is when Disney was in its prime. Of course not, because they’ll always choose drugs over the person they love. 

[disneyprincessquinn-blog]

Have a little faith here, Hummel! The last thing I need is someone seeking revenge on me. Have you picked a Halloween costume this early?

[kurt-pan-blog]

Why have faith when I can be distrusting and stay safe? That sounds like a far better idea to me. I may have, but even if I have, you won’t find out until Halloween comes around. 

[wonderful-world-of-lopez-deacti]

That’s the thing, I don’t even believe in any of them. It sounds like I spend my spare time watching hours of theory videos, but I swear, I don’t. It’s pretty hard to bring me out of ruts, but if you could somehow arrange for someone to deliver Margot Robbie to my door, I’m sure I could find a way to pull myself out. Ew, oh my God. I meant stained from all the gel. What the fuck? What would make you secrete shit from your head? I’m gonna have nightmares for years now. 

Yeah, Adele Dazeem is a decent singer, but you’re telling me the entire hype was due to that one stupid song? Because then I might actually start believing in brainwashing. No, no. I don’t want a pie throwing crazy. That’s the type that pees in your cell. I’ll take a crazy haired heroin addict who’s going to bang me in the chapel on semi regular basis. 

[kurt-pan-blog]

It does, if I didn’t know any better I’d assume otherwise. So, if you don’t watch hours of conspiracy theory videos, then how do you have all this information on hand? I’ll try my best, but no promises. Well, I didn’t think gel would be able to stain fabric if it was dry and not always present! So, I assumed that you assumed that his head was constantly damp. 

Not one stupid song, but I’ve noticed that the most popular Disney movies are always the ones with the best music. Aladdin, Hercules, Lion King, The Little Mermaid, Beauty And The Beast and now this one. The ones with music that isn’t as remarkable, however, are typically a lot less popular. The only case I can think of with remarkable music that didn’t get too popular was Pocahontas. I don’t know, I think a pie throwing crazy would do a much better job at protecting me than a crazy haired heroin addict. 

[disneyprincessquinn-blog]

I’m positive that I’m sure. I am pretty up front about my ulterior motives, anyway, I’d let you kow if I was just trying to get something from you. Though you are making me very curious about your costuming skills! You must be fun around Halloween!

[kurt-pan-blog]

Well alright. Just know that if you happen to be hiding some sort of ulterior motive without my knowledge, I will find out and I will be heartbroken and seeking revenge. Oh, my costume skills are phenomenal. Just wait until Halloween and of course, prepare to be knocked off your feet. 

[wonderful-world-of-lopez-deacti]

We’ve already covered lizard people, the Illuminati, and cloning. I don’t know what else I could possibly talk about except the old Kennedy’s killed Marilyn Monroe, Elvis is alive, the moon landing was fake… I really hope I don’t snap one day. I might look good in everything, but I doubt I’d look good with a tin foil helmet. Have you seen his bed? Is his pillow stained?

I think it’s a little bit more than them just being the newest characters. I don’t remember whatever the girl’s name from Brave is being popular, or even Rapunzel or Tiana. There was a whole year or more where I didn’t go a day without hearing “Let it Go”. No, I don’t think you would. Then again, unless it’s like Orange is the New Black, I’m probably getting ahead of myself.

[kurt-pan-blog]

You know far more than you let on. I would’ve never taken you for the type to buy into conspiracy theories. If you ever do happen to snap, I’ll try and help you snap out of it. What do you think would bring you back to reality if you ended up in such a rut? I’ve yet to see anybody pull off the tin foil helmet look, but you’re always welcome to try and prove me wrong. Yes, I’ve seen his bed and no, his pillow is not stained. His head isn’t damp and constantly secreting fluids, you know. 

Perhaps it’s the music. I mean, when you’ve got Idina Menzel performing it’s bound to be flawless and unable to compare to nearly anything else. I didn’t think the characters were that compelling, but perhaps I’m just looking at things the wrong way. As amazing as Orange is the New Black is, I’m not sure it’s completely accurate as to how prison is portrayed. If so then perhaps I should just get myself incarcerated, I’d love to find a prison husband willing to throw his pie for me. 

[disneyprincessquinn-blog]

I think that you are interesting no matter what, Kurt Hummel. Though I am sure that you have plenty of interesting, mysterious things hidden away that I don’t know. And probably plenty of costumes.

[kurt-pan-blog]

I’m incredibly flattered, but are you sure you aren’t just saying that? It’s very rare somebody says something like that without ulterior motives. Oh, I have plenty of mysterious things hidden away that nobody knows about, and I plan to keep it that way. I just can’t exist unless I get to keep my secrets, you know? I have countless costumes, although if I revealed those to you, you’d immediately recognize me when I decided to go out somewhere in costume. 

[wonderful-world-of-lopez-deacti]

I never realized how many conspiracy theories I knew about until I started this conversation. You know what it means. Blaine wears a truckload of hair products. This can’t be news to you. You’ve gotta wind up with all kinds of gunk on your hands when you’re making out.

Lesser villains, but sure, I guess. Step mommy dearest was the real big bad of that story. I can’t think of many protagonists I’ve rooted for, either, but it just seems like most of the little monsters here want to see Elsa and Anna, and then the other princesses. I’d do well in prison, I think.

[kurt-pan-blog]

Do tell. I need to be as prepared as possible in case all of your conspiracy theories turn out to be correct. It’s cute. Not necessarily, I usually try to avoid the hair, so no gunk has made it’s way on my hands. 

I liked the sisters better than her. I don’t know why, they just tickled me so much. Elsa and Anna do seem to be the most popular, but I suspect it’s just because they’re the newest princesses around. I’m sure that once a new princess is introduced, they’ll be just as popular -- if not more. That makes one of us. I for one, am absolutely positive that I would not flourish in a prison environment.

[princebleric-blog]

It isn’t cheating! Watching gamers play games is a hobby – if you get into the game after watching their videos, it isn’t like you know how to win the game immediately, because these are complicated games, not one-correct-way children’s games. If it helps, this particular game series has an incredibly fascinating story behind it - a sort of plotline, if you will - that makes it a whole other level of engaging, so I think you may actually enjoy the story and thus, not mind the game at all. I think you love drama that much. You don’t mind? Is that because you don’t actually understand much of what I’m saying at all when he takes over so you can just appreciate me without being expected to form some kind of response? Because, if that were the case, I cant say I would be very surprised. I think I could be a leader or a follower, depending on the situation. But I definitely see you as a leader, even though I don’t see how that means you would enjoy feeling left out. I do think I like being on your side on this occasion, yes. Unfortunately, my curiosity overtook my desire to not cave under peer pressure and once I gave in and tried the game, I was hooked and there was no going back. The A-list was spectacular – there were beach photoshoots, dates with supermodels, nights out in Vegas, all the best parts of being a celebrity. You may have enjoyed the fashion shows, Kurt.

[kurt-pan-blog]

..Uh-huh... Well, I do like drama. What makes you think that, honey? Perhaps I just think you’re adorable even when you’re discussing something that I know absolutely nothing about. I suppose I’m just a lone wolf, but if the chance to be a leader springs upon me I’m not going to hesitate to take it. The A-list sounds glamorous. It’s unfortunate that I missed out, but at least I have you to recall all the tales of it so I don’t feel like I’ve missed too much. I probably would have, I don’t think there’s any universe where I wouldn't enjoy a fashion show. 

[kurt-pan-blog]

text messages | hummelberry

Rachel: Well at least we do understand each other in that case. It is probably another reason why we get along - because we have so many similarities.

Rachel: Drama Queen :P

Kurt: I think you just might be right. Nothing wrong with that, I don't mind being similar to marvelous people.

Kurt: I almost managed to steal your title as Head Drama Queen In Charge, but you manage to best me every time.

[wonderful-world-of-lopez-deacti]

I thought as much. Your clothes are far too nice for you to be just an average person. We’ll just assume both of them are either robots, or lizard people in on the whole plot to brainwash the masses. Seems about right. I don’t know that I would call that hair gorgeous. It looks like 8 tons of either hairspray or hairgel were used on it. But I guess that’s exactly your type, isn’t it?

Wouldn’t you love the villains if that was the case? Anyway, I don’t think I’m going to wake up in the middle of the night with two broken legs, but the peeing in the corner is a maybe. 

[kurt-pan-blog]

Exactly, I’m shocked that nobody else has noticed before now. That’s a good assumption, although my bet is on robots. I doubt lizard people would be able to achieve perfection, but I suppose I can’t be too sure. Oh, come on. That hair was amazing. What’s that supposed to mean? I just appreciate when a man knows how to groom himself is all. Hair is a very important thing. 

Well, the step-sisters technically were the villains. Sometimes, I just never really rooted for the protagonist most of the time. They tended to annoy me, I like a character with flaws. Peeing in the corner is bad, but I suppose it’s favorable to waking up with two broken legs. I mean, it could be worse, you could be in prison, and sopping the pee up with maxi-pads. 

[kurt-pan-blog]

text messages | hummelberry

Rachel: The dramatic part. I never got it, since I loved being dramatic and I was also pretty sure that being dramatic wasn't that bad and now seeing you like this - dramatic - I know it's not bad at all.

Rachel: I am also quite sure there are more humble people out there so I wouldn't say it like that, but yeah I do think you aren't cocky.

Kurt: Of course it's not bad. It's just simply who I am. Something that, unfortunately, cannot be changed no matter how hard I try. Some people were just born to be dramatic, and you and I happen to be those people.

Kurt: I'm wounded, weeping, and on the floor. That hurts a lot.

[kurt-pan-blog]

text messages | hummelberry

Rachel: You are so dramatic, gosh I love it. I remember people telling me this all the time and I would never get why they would think it was strange...

Rachel: I know you aren't, I was just teasing.

Kurt: I have a flair for the dramatics, it truly is what I'm best at. Telling you that you're dramatic? Or that you're going to drown in your misery?

Kurt: Excellent, I appreciate your honesty. I am the least cocky person to ever exist in this universe, you know.

[kurt-pan-blog]

Text || Boyfriend & Boyfriend

Blaine: I thought /I/ was your bodyguard? Or were you my bodyguard? I honestly cannot remember half the things we talk about. But, if /you/ are a clone and the real Kurt is dead, why do you need to do that? Are there more clones?

Blaine: I'm glad, my darling.

Blaine: Perfect :-* It's nice to know I have /some/ influence over you.

Blaine: Nope, it's definitely everybody, I know I'm right this time. Certainly not! You may be mildly frightening like a ghost, but you are as gorgeous as an angel. We could be covered in leeches or faeces but as long as we're together, we'd find a way to make it work. I wouldn't feel guilty sending you photographs of myself, regardless of what I'm doing in them, given that you react in a positive way. If it only makes you smile or if it does actually make you give in and I end up winning, I'd do it. Just watch me.

Kurt: I'm your body guard. But, I'm also an incredibly inadequate bodyguard because my only line of defense is pepper spray. I can't believe you don't remember everything we talk about. I'm hurt, weeping as we speak, actually. Maybe the real Kurt is dead, and the last clone is also dead, and I'm now a clone of a clone.

Kurt: I'm still a man in complete control, thank you very much. I just don't like when you pout, even though it doesn't count as winning when you do so, so it's still as if I'm winning.

Kurt: Again, I feel as if that is rather unlikely. With my complexion? I think I'm inching more towards ghost territory than angel territory. Also, I have far too much unfinished business to be anything /but/ a ghost. You, on the other hand? Certainly an angel if I've ever seen one. Not that I have, because religion is ridiculous and angels don't exist, but I'm sure that if they did you would be one. Okay nope, don't talk about being covered in either of those things. I don't ever want to think about that. I've asked you not to do it so many times, I still find it hard to believe that you'd actually do it. I won't believe you until I have solid evidence.

[kurt-pan-blog]

text messages | hummelberry

Rachel: No No no. I wanna know. Well I don't feel bad, that is true. I was just sharing my opinion, but I mean you can still like whatever you like. I am not judging.

Rachel: You are also quite cocky.

Kurt: Too late. What's done is done. Nope, I'm far too wounded to ever like anything again. I'll just be left to sit here, drowning in my misery.

Kurt: I am not cocky! You just don't understand me. It's alright, most people don't.

[wonderful-world-of-lopez-deacti]

I guess it’s a possibility. It wouldn’t entirely surprise me. But yes, that is my reasoning with Bey Z. You hardly ever hear anything bad about them, and when you did, it was about him, not her. Gotta be something wrong there. It just seems like they’re in control of everything. Okay, if you’re talking about Danny Zuko, that’s different. Still not my type, obviously, but I at least can see where you’re coming from. I was thinking more of Hairspray and Adele Dazeem.

The girl who plays Cinderella’s step-sister, whom I’m still confused as to why she even is needed here because I don’t know what child wants their picture taken with such an irrelevant character. Anyway, she’s got a crush on me. And she’s nuts. Not like me nuts. Actually nuts.

[kurt-pan-blog]

I’m actually a mob boss. Just don’t tell anybody. I have a feeling it’s just Bey, considering she’s actually a living embodiment of flawlessness and seems to never be involved in drama. Meanwhile, Jay-Z is completely unaware of everything going on around him and continues to be thwarted by his beautiful wife. Oh, heavens no. While my taste in men managed to be incredibly broad, it does not expand to John Travolta in drag. It does, however, welcome a young John Travolta in a leather jacket and gorgeous hair with open arms. 

I was always drawn to the more irrelevant characters at a young age. I thought her sisters were hilarious, but perhaps it was just the young bitter villain in me showing his true colors early on. Nuts as in, if you reject her advances she’ll pee in the corner of your room while you’re sleeping, or nuts as in you’re going to wake up in the middle of nowhere with with two broken legs as she stands above you saying she’s your number one fan? Either way, I’d advise calling the police and perhaps avoiding speaking ill of her publicly. 

[wonderful-world-of-lopez-deacti]

You think? I mean, yeah, Disney brings in probably billions of dollars a year, but there are people in Hollywood connected to the mafia. And don’t you dare try to tell me that Beyonce and Jay Z aren’t working for the Obamas. You’re attracted to John Travolta? Even if you can get over how creepy he is, he’s not even good looking. His neck is the same width as his head and just kind of melts into his shoulders. And don’t even get me started on his hair.

I wasn’t happy before I came here either, but at least back then it was just because I was bored. I can fix that. I wasn’t depressed or feeling the need for a psychiatrist. And then there’s the greatest reason for leaving. I never have to see Frog Lips, Cinderella, Puckerman or that psycho step sister ever again.

[kurt-pan-blog]

There could be people here connected to the mafia. Perhaps that’s how I keep all of my secrets from getting out. I will not argue with you on that, but I’m going to need some solid evidence. Is it just because they’re all powerful and seem to stay out of all drama that goes on? Of course I am, have you seen Grease? There was just something about that leather jacket that gave me chills. I didn’t even mind that he smoked, which is typically a total turn-off. You can’t deny how good looking he was in that movie, or perhaps I just have an affinity for the bad boy type. 

The psycho step sister? I feel as if I understand where you’re going with everything else, but I’m completely lost about who the psycho step sister is.