Fractured Silence
a/n: ok i am back with zanka's part in this little angsty scenario, im acc so happy with how this one came out icllll, also most of the time these a/n are literally me writing my thoughts as i write these fics lmaoo, bon appetit!
divider creds: @/cursed-carmine
tags: hurt/comfort, zanka might be a little ooc, reader is the same age as zanka, swearing, lmk if i missed any
taglist: @suhsun4 @sleepykittyenergy @queeniepearls @mobpsycho-enjoyer
word count: 1.8k
character: Zanka Nijiku
masterlist
For Zanka, you were one of the few people he really liked, someone who tolerated him more than most.
He's loud, teasing, and always provoking you with his sarcastic demeanour, but you always bit back at him.
Rolling your eyes at his sarcastic words, laughing at his stupidity.
To him, it was simple. It meant you chose him, that's what it was like in his head. It was an emotional connection that he hadn't felt with anyone else before.
He always preferred training alone, but whenever you would show up, he would never say it outloud, but liked it a lot when you would join him.
Training with you was something else, it always pushed him to be better than the last. He never really saw you train with anyone else, so in his head it was your guys' thing.
Or so he thought.
d*:..ļ½”o *ļ¾
It was just another day, surprisingly there were no missions for once so it was a rare day off. Zanka had every intention of spending it with you.
Normally around this time you were in the lounge relaxing or grabbing a bite to eat.
He walks in and his eyes zero in on you, but unlike every other time heās seen you, youāre with another cleaner that came from the southern branch for a few days to support.
You looked like you were hitting it off with him too, it had Zanka feel weird at the sight.
Not the most outgoing type, he just sat off to the side trying to look like he was minding his own business.
He was hyper focused on you from his peripherals, the way you let out a hearty laugh that he himself hasnāt been able to get out of you, the way conversation between you two just seems to flow so smoothly.
A laugh he didn't know how to earn.
It was bothering him, more than he would like to admit.
d*:..ļ½”o *ļ¾
Later on in the day he was determined to spend time with you for real this time, no backing down if you're with someone else.
He scoured HQ looking for you and no dice, until he went outside to the training grounds.
Zanka heard sounds of something colliding in a rhythmic fashion. It sounded like people training.
He got closer to the training ground and saw it.
You, and that cleaner from before. You guys were sparring, but what really made it worse was how seamless you guys looked, it was almost like an elegant dance.
Now he was bitter, and the resolve of taking you away even if you were with someone else faded away.
He turned around quick and stomped away, unaware that you actually did notice him in your periphery but couldn't do anything about it due to your current situation.
Zanka felt like he was being replaced.
The feeling lingered longer than it should have.
d*:..ļ½”o *ļ¾
Later that evening, when the lounge filled back up with voices and movement, Zanka found himself there tooāarms crossed, jaw tight, eyes already searching for you.
You were there again.
Laughing.
Not with him.
Zanka didn't mean to say anything
"So what, am I just a warm-up now?"
He said, the words sharp before he could stop them.
"Didn't think you'd replace me that fast once you found someone better."
The smile dropped from your face immediately.
Not anger, not confusion.
Just hurt.
You didn't argue. You didn't defend yourself.
You just picked up your things and walked away.
The second your smile drops and you leave, the energy in the room dies.
No one laughs, no one backs Zanka up.
Enjin lets out a low whistle, the usual grin wiped clean from his face.
"Damn, man."
Enjin exhales his smoke slowly.
"That was unnecessary."
He doesn't raise his voice. Doesn't argue.
And that's what makes it stingāZanka doesn't get rescued.
Riyo cuts quicker and cleaner, never one to sugarcoat.
"What the hell is wrong with you? You really thought that was okay?"
She looks at the door you just left through, not even sparing Zanka a glance.
d*:..ļ½”o *ļ¾
The next day passes like any other.
Zanka tells himself that you just need some time, you'll come back to him later and say something snarky like you always do.
But you don't.
Another day passes before he finally catches sight of you in the hallway.
"Hey."
He says, easy, like he hasn't been replaying your expression in his head all night.
You slow for half a second, not enough to stop.
"Excuse me."
You say quietly, stepping around him.
There was no bite or anger in your tone, just distance.
Zanka turns and watches you walk away from him.
The silence doesn't feel like punishment.
No, it feels like an absence.
d*:..ļ½”o *ļ¾
By the third day Zanka knows it's not a coincidence.
You're still your usual selfālaughing in the lounge, focused during briefings, sharp during training.
Just not with him.
He catches it in the small moments.
The way you lean closer when someone else speaks, or the way you respond immediately when Riyo calls your name.
He tries his luck once more, this time softer than before.
"You good?"
You don't look at him,
"I'm fine."
You say, already turning away.
The words are polite, the distance isn't.
That's when it hits him.
You didn't go quiet because you were angry, you went quiet because silence was safer, cause hoping hurt more.
d*:..ļ½”o *ļ¾
You were sitting at the edge of your bed, the soft light of the lamp barely illuminating the room.
The door clicked open.
Zanka steps in, hands shoved into his pockets, jaw tight.
His usual swagger was gone, replaced by something more fragile and jagged.
"Hey,"
He starts, his voice rough, trying to sound casual.
"Uh... mind if Iā"
You don't answer, you don't even look up. Just staring aimlessly at your hands.
"I... I just wanted to talk,"
He said, voice ragged.
"I thoughtāfuck, I thought you'd just snap at me or yell and I couldā"
"You didn't think about me at all,"
You said quietly.
His chest tightened, running a hand through his hair.
"I... I screwed i[. I didn't think. Iāugh, I can't even explainā"
You stayed silent, calm, letting the weight of the room and your absence press against him.
"I haven't... I haven't heard your voice in three days, and it'sāfuck, it's killing me."
He admitted, his voice breaking, letting himself be vulnerable in front of you.
You finally looked at him. no warmth, no relief.
"You don't get to just... fix this with words."
He sank to the ground, head in his hands.
"I'm such an idiot.. I almost ruined it. I can't believe I said that. IāGod, I love you. I didn't mean to hurt you."
He ran a hand down his face, beginning to pace the small space like he could erase the distance if he moved fast enough.
"IāI can't stop thinking about it,"
He muttered, voice raw.
"About that look on your face... the way you just... walked away. Do you know what that did to me? Fuck... it's like I can't breathe without hearing your laugh, seeing your eyes, and i ruined it. I ruined it, didn't I?"
You stayed still, silent, letting him collapse into his own chaos.
"I'm begging you,"
He whispered, voice breaking, reaching toward you and pulling back as if the wrong move could break you for good.
"I'll do anything. I'll fix this. I'll shut up. I'll... whatever you want, justāplease... don't... don't leave me like this."
His hands shook now, fingers brushing the edge of yours without touching.
"I wasn't thinking, I was a complete idiot. IāI can't believe I hurt you... not you. Not you of all people, You're the only one... the only one I..."
His voice faltered intro a strangled breath.
"I love you. I can't stand it. I can't stand being in the same room and not being able to reach you. Please... please let me try. Please let me make this right."
Zanka's hands were full on trembling now, hovering near yours like he was afraid you'd be repulsed by his touch.
"Please... I can't keep going like this,"
He whispered, voice hoarse.
"I can't... I need you to know. Iā"
You finally moved. Not fully toward him, just close enough that your shoulder brushed his.
He flinched, eyes wide.
"Zanka..."
You said softly. Just one word.
Not angry, not forgiving. Not entirely warmābut enough to make him see the tiniest crack in your wall.
"I don't... I don't know if I can trust you,"
You admitted quietly,
"Not yet. Not after that.
He sank lower, forehead nearly kissing the floor.
"I get it,"
He breathed.
"IāI don't deserve it. I don't deserve you. But I can'tā"
He cut himself off, voice trembling like he was on the verge of tears.
"I love you. I can't... I can't hide it anymore. And I won't... not from you. Not ever."
Silence filled the room, heavy and electric.
You stared at him, your hands tight in your lap. The weight of all the days he'd been gone from you, all the pain he'd caused, pressed between you like a living thing, almost tangible.
Then, almost instinctively, he leaned forward, slowly, cautiously... and pressed his forehead to yours.
Just a touch. A tentative confession in the form of physical closeness.
"Please..."
He whispered again, his breath hot against your face.
"Just... let me love you."
Your breath hitched.
He could feel it. Your warmth radiating off you in calming waves, the rise and fall of your chest. His heart hammered in his ears.
Slowly, like a fragile unfolding of a flower in the dark, your hand lifted, resting lightly against his arm.
He froze, then let out a shaky laugh, half relief, half disbelief.
"I... I swear,"
He whispered,
"I'll spend every day making this right. I promise. I... I love you."
This time, you didn't pull away, not fully.
You let the corner of your lips twitch upward, small, quiet, but enough.
He closed the gap, pressing his lips softly to yoursāhesitant at first, trembling, like the weight of his guilt and longing was finally spilling into something real.
The kiss was tentative, messy, but full of truth.
It said everything he couldn't put into words: the apology, the fear, the love, the desperation to hold you close again.
When you finally pulled back, just enough to look into his eyes, the tension in the room had shifted.
Still fragile, still raw. Still not fully healed.
But for the first time in days there was a spark of hope between youāmessy, aching, and entirely yours.
That night, Zanka stayed glued to you, arms wrapped around your waist, head resting against your chest.
Your fingers combing through his hair, lulling him, letting him feel safe for the first time in days.
He let out a shaky sigh, closing his eyes. For the first time since the incident, he could breathe again.











