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Marla Corset by Giami
I got a beautiful botanical book, printed in 1926. Just look at these lovely illustrations 🌸
Confidence is being able to say “Fuck you, I’m the shit” without opening your mouth, say it with your walk, with your smile, say it with your entire being.
Tati-Ana Mercedes (marfmellow). (via unpardeojitosnegros
https://www.instagram.com/p/BT30OPWlNC9/
Christina for Paper magazine, 2018
looking glasses: dilone for allure us jan. 2018
Message from Kat to the readers: Please, read this with Mundo by IV of Spades playing on a loop! Thank you!
Of the four years that Bryan and I have been together, I've been asking for a ring for all four of them. I never wanted something big or extravagant and definitely not an engagement ring. I just liked the idea of him giving me something that I could wear proudly all the time.
That day, all I had in mind was that I was attending a concert where several songs meant something very deep for the both of us as a couple: Mundo by IV of Spades (it being my favorite song, hearing it the summer when we lived together) and most importantly, Blessed by Daniel Caesar (it really describes us, it makes Bryan cry).
Earlier in the day, it was difficult for us to get inside since there was a situation with our tickets. But that aside, we arrived in the middle of IV of Spades' set just as "Where Have You Been, My Disco" was ending. I even said to Bryan earlier that day, "it's okay! We don't have to see IV of Spades." After looking for our friends, Mundo started playing. I paused to pay attention as it was my favorite. Then, I heard Zild call Bryan up on stage.
I felt like I didn't have time to think. I was shocked and confused in the best way possible. Then, I felt Bryan lightly pushing me to move forward. I immediately started crying. I've always asked for this and it was happening. When I typically thought to myself what I wanted as a marriage proposal, it would be something like how it went down in About Time but this was way bigger than that.
It was actually really confusing walking through the crowd. With no clue as to where exactly I should be heading, I moved my way forward making sure as to avoid stepping on laid out blankets and feet with tears rolling down my face. I heard so many gasps and "oh my god"s that I couldn't count and it added so much to how I felt. Same. But I was smiling.
When we went up on stage, I could feel myself shaking. I just wanted to make sure Bryan was holding my hand. Being up there in front of everyone didn't phase me, because I couldn't organize my thoughts, let alone think. Trying to look back now, I still can't think. Bryan made a short speech and I'm glad because you could tell we were both nervous.
"So how about it? Will you marry me?" It sounds silly but all I wanted to do was be buried in his arms. I didn't care that there was other people. I wanted to let my feet drag and hang myself from his neck but I thought it would be disastrous if we ever fell. I was so emotionally exhausted. I just wanted to get down from the stage and talk to him about everything in a blanket cave at home.
When we finally did get down, we tried to go back to where we were with our friends. Waves of congratulations greeted us with smiles whenever we passed by. I felt so warm and full of love.
While "Mundo" played, Bryan had his arms wrapped around me while I cried. He told me about how he planned everything, what the ring meant (he designed it himself), and everyone who knew. The ring was designed by Bryan after where we first met: the track of our school (we were tasked to run laps for our training and I was always ahead of him. He tried so hard to keep up with me that day). He even showed me a video of him measuring my finger while I was asleep.
While Bryan told me about this whole plan, I couldn't help but think of all the effort that he put up for this. Being where I am now, anticipating the planning of our wedding, I'm so overwhelmed just to start. And to think that Bryan planned this entire proposal has me beyond impressed and bursting with emotions. Now, I can't help but cry whenever I hear Mundo. Even writing this has me crying.
And after four years of practically begging for something to put on my finger. Now, I have one... and so much more.
A CALL FOR HELP?
I’m trying so hard not to cryyyyy!!!!!!!!
HOW DO PEOPLE JUSt DO NOTHING AND STAY HOME
LIKE IM WORKING OUT AND SHIT BUT IM SO SAD???
I JUST HANDLE TSA BUT I FEEL LIKE IM WASTING AWAYYY
HAHAHHA
BUT NO CRYING BECAUSE ONLY I CAN MAKE MYSELF HAPPY
I can’t wait to go home so my whole perspective is turned around because if I just go out one day it’s just gonna make me feel shitty still I know it
When I was in my early teens, I would flip through Nylon Magazines and go straight to the cover article. It was my favorite part of the magazine and I loved the way they wrote it.
If you’ve never read a Nylon cover article, they illustrate it for you. It was the one thing that appealed to me about journalism, like that’s even journalism though.
I wanted to work at a fashion magazine early on in life and I wanted to be the Editor In Chief of a magazine that I highly respected. I never knew how hard it would be to get there or what steps to take. But now that I’m a rejectee of a somewhat controversial editorial assistant job, I keep thinking about how I had that passion to want to be what I wanted to be before.
Since I was in middle school I’ve wanted to do something in writing and now that I’m here now, I have no idea what I want to do with my life. But I’m doing things that make me feel productive. For the brand, for myself. I can’t help but think, too that everything I’ve done before, I’m shit at now.
I can’t write anymore. Not that I want to. I can’t create a social media plan, especially without content. I’m somewhat unmotivated in those departments but I know with what I’m doing now, I’m doing a good job. And that’s all I could ask for.
It sucks feeling like no one cares about you. Nothing fucks with me more than when people talk with Bryan and are super friendly with Bryan but they ignore me. It’s literally one of the most hurtful thing that almost everyone that I’ve ever wanted to be close with does to me. After episodes like now, I have to stop going on social media and isolate myself more than I already feel like I am. It’s really hard to not want to isolate yourself after stuff like this. But it never really makes me hate myself, which is a good thing but I just wanna leave.
I was already feeling shitty about staying home and now, this.
let me die
I’m extremely overwhelmed with how everything’s going. I feel like I’m finally in control of my life again.
I’ve made this decision to focus on my clothing brand after college and to create this empire. It’s shocking, really. Not long ago was I applying to jobs that I thought I would be stuck in for months but now I’ve decided to work towards the person I always knew I was. A powerhouse.
A strong, woman. I feel like I’m in touch with myself again. I was always scared of where I was heading because I thought there was no possibility of a future that I could see myself doing. But now, all I’m focused on is moving forward and doing better and all of the possibilities. My heart is everywhere. I’m so excited.