I was thinking about how whenever Dean hugs someone he's almost always the one hugging the other and how this links to his psychological trauma of always being the caretaker of people, making himself bigger to protect them.
Because that's how Dean sees himself, as a shield for others, and then I thought about how Cas actually is the shield, and he's HIS SHIELD, specifically, the only one who's really there to protect HIM, which is why it hits so much when we see this:
The way Cas wraps his arms around him, trying to protect him with his whole body--that he'd use as a shield and give up in a second if he could spare him from any pain and save him.
(for context: Dean was about to go use the soul bomb on Amara there, it was a suicide mission)
Bobby is another one that hits, he hugs him as the big hugger because he's his father, he loves him and he's actually here to protect him (and Dean LETS him -barely, but he lets him *and Cas* - in a way that he doesn't let Sam)
I watched a compilation of Sam & Dean hugs to check if i was right about it, but it's almost always Dean the big hugger with Sam, except when he's about to die or Sam sees him alive again after losing him.
Even then, Dean mostly tries to hug Sam as the big hugger anyway, with at least one arm, like a way to comfort him, making him feel protected, like his body language is saying "I'm here, I'm okay, I'm still strong, i can still protect you" (because their real father failed and Dean thinks it's his job).
He rarely lets himself be the little one hugged with Sam, unless he's barely conscious. Which is why it kills me so much more now that in this moment (s14, when Dean was going to lock himself in the Ma'lak box cause he was possessed by Michael) and Sam has a desperate breakdown and punches him (to stop him) he forcefully hugs him as the little hugger, the way Dean always kept him, like a way of saying "I still need you to protect me, please don't do this to yourself".
In the scene below he gives Sam his blessing to do a dangerous (possibly suicidal) mission, and one of his arms is down, but the other one tries to stay up--he's forcing himself to do it and he struggles because he still wants to protect him, but (as the seasons progress) he slowly becomes more prone to let go.
So in this view the hug dynamic becomes an indicator of how Dean sees Sam (and himself) and his protector role, how adult and self sufficient he considers Sam, and how much he lets people around him take care of him, lowering his walls and letting himself be hugged.
This is also why i think hugs from characters like Garth or Charlie are so special, because they're just like us: they see Dean and they just know that he needs to be hugged a lot, and that he's not used to it, so they just go for it-- and it's so normal and kind and spontaneous that Dean's just not used to it-- he doesn't know how to respond (especially with Garth, at the beginning, but as the seasons progress, he learns to, and he even initiates the hug eventually).
I love the hugs where they're 50/50 (one arm up, one arm down both), feels like they're equals, both taking care of each other. I feel like with Sam and Dean, this indicates a healthier dynamic, because Dean lets go a little of the role that was imposed to him and manages to see Sam as the strong individual that he is. But the same applies to 50/50 hugs with other characters, like with Cas, where I feel like it testifies how equals they feel in terms of being fighters, there's a show of respect of each other's strength that transpires by the gesture (which is even more astounding considering that Cas is literally a powerful angel).
And just to end on a destiel note, I'd like to note the possessiveness and protectiveness of Dean (rightfully so) whenever he finds Cas after he thought he had lost him, and how that translates into his body/hug language:
If you know anyone who seems really chill to the point of being virtually indestructible, like nothing could ever bother them in any way, could get hit by a train and just shake it off and be totally fine, laughing it off as soon as they've dusted themselves off and stopped bleeding, but who occasionally just randomly falls apart to complete fucking smithereens with seemingly no cause nor warning, only to get back up again a few minutes/hours/days later like "ok yeah I'm fine again that was weird lmao", and you've ever wondered what the fuck is up with that:
They are actually not ok and most likely are not ok at any point. The whole "hardiest person you know who just collapses randomly sometimes" thing isn't a deliberately constructed façade, as a matter of fact it might be something that they actually personally believe themselves to be. But in reality this is somebody who's either unintentionally learned or has been deliberately trained to hide negative emotions and mask symptoms at all costs, as the #1 priority that goes over any other survival needs.
So even though it may look like they go from 1 to 100 completely at random and unpredictably, and then swing right back again to being totally fine, you have no way of knowing how long they've been at 95% before the last line of defense broke down and the system collapsed. And once they flip back up, odds are that they just managed to scrape their shit back together again just enough to get their backup masking systems running. The "check engine" light never turned on because the wire was clipped years ago.
If this is you, this is your callout to seek some sort of help. I'm telling on everyone in this room including myself.
this is literally the hottest thing i’ve ever seen in my entire life. i am just sitting here watching it over and over and over and over again… ITS TOO MUCH FOR MY BRAIN TO HANDLE.
What kind of daddy/daughter activities do Bee and Bucky get into?
Bucky loves spending time with his daughter.
Pairing: Mafia!Bucky x Reader, daughter nicknamed Bee.
AN: Part of the Bumblebee series.
->Lunch dates
Lunch dates are her favorites. They go at least once or twice a week.
They have a standing reservation at one of Bucky's restaurants.
They have a reserved booth near the back, the table stocked with crayons and coloring books in anticipation of her arrival.
She absolutely loves it when the waiter turns pouring her juice into a wine glass into a grand production (it's actually plastic but no one is going to tell her that). She pretends to study the menu even though she can't read most of it yet. No matter what she gets, Bucky always orders an extra dish so he can try to get her to sample new foods.
Before their lunch date today.
Bucky glances down at his daughter, listening as she happily chats about her upcoming plans after lunch. She's been patiently waiting in his office all morning for him to finish up a few meetings.
Now it's time for lunch, he's been looking forward to this time with her.
Steve, also on his way out to interview Frankie's sister for a newly opened position at his club, accompanies Bucky and Bee to their car.
"And I'm taking Papa to Matteo's and getting him pelmeni," she informs Steve as she swings Bucky's arm back and forth, her hand in his. "And I wants 'sagna Papa. It's so yummy."
It doesn't matter that it's not on the menu, he loves this little girl more than life itself and if she wants lasagna, she's getting lasagna.
Bee continues, grinning at her uncle. "And no veggies cause my Tataie says I don't needs anymore."
Bucky shakes his head, he overheard his grandfather yesterday reassuring Bee that she could do whatever she wanted. "Is that so?"
"Yeah cause—cause I a big girl now. Tataie says so."
The enclosed glass bridge connecting his building to the garage gets closer. Bucky slows his steps, gesturing to the sloped walkway. "Does that mean you want to walk by yourself today?"
Bee peers at the bridge with disdain and then at her legs.
"No," she decides without hesitation, lifting her arms up. "Tank you."
After she's picked up, Bee goes back to her original conversation, now offering to get Steve food. She's unaware of how protected she is, never noticing the way her bodyguards and Steve subtly adjust their positions in one cohesive movement that shields her from view.
"I can gets you dis many pelmeni if you wants." Bee offers, her chin on Bucky's shoulder, eyes gazing up at Steve, holding up three little fingers. "And some peas cause my Tataie says you and Papa has to eat all the veggies. But not me."
"Why do I have to eat them?" Steve asks with a faux offended tone.
Bee shrugs. "Cause my Tataie says."
Steve flicks one of her ponytails. "Well your Tataie can—"
"Steve," Bucky interjects with a raised brow, his eyes cutting towards him with a quiet warning.
Steve laughs it off before telling Bee that her beloved great-grandpa is wrong. Insulted, Bee leans back and heaves out an appalled gasp—and Bucky knows he's about to spend the rest of the day listening to his best friend and baby playfully bicker over who has to eat carrots and broccoli for lunch.
->Playground trips
After lunch, Bucky takes her to a playground near their home so she can burn off her excess energy before heading home.
Ever since the Frankie incident, he's been wary of bringing his sweet baby back to that place.
Even though you insisted that Frankie showing up to play with Bee wasn't an 'incident' and a 'betrayal', he decided to have a small playground installed in the backyard. It includes a gorgeous custom made swing set and slide that match her outdoor playhouse.
You still laugh whenever you think about the disgruntled, aggrieved expression on his face when he went to take Bee outside to play and Frankie was there waiting for them, beaming up at the mobster as he thanked Bucky for letting him play with them.
->Tea parties
Bucky is the honored prince invited to have tea with Bee and Mr. Tato. He's never missed one of her parties. You never missed a chance to get a pic of him in his crown. The tea parties are Bee's versions of a business meeting. She has serious matters to discuss. Last week, he gave her advice on how to defeat the dragons lurking around the art studio, this week she picked the color scheme for his new office. They share their newest secrets over apple juice and snacks. The party usually ends up with a cupcake-drunk Bee napping on Bucky.
->Business deals & meetings
Bee has sat in on more mafia related meetings than most adults. Bucky usually has her tucked away so she's close enough for him to keep an eye on without anyone knowing she's there. She has a miniature pink recliner that she lounges on along with an array of juices, coloring books, headphones and her iPad to keep her entertained.
When it's a meeting with trusted associates, Bee gets to sit on his desk and listen in. Her face lights up every time Bucky asks her opinion. She takes her responsibilities seriously and will consult Mr. Tato before responding which the mobsters find hilarious.
->Shopping
Bucky will have the stores shut down for however long he wants so they can shop without having to rush. She pulls him around the store, introducing him to all of Mr. Tato's friends. Bee is currently into Bluey & Elmo and has been amassing an impressive collection of items from their shows.
There's something so cute and sweet about watching a six foot something Bucky, dressed in a tailored suit, being led around the store by his toddler in her favorite bear onesie or ballerina outfit.
->Classic Cars
One of his hobbies is restoring his classic cars and Bee will lay across the front seat or on his work table, pretending to read the owner's manual to Mr. Tato, while Bucky works on the engine.
She loves holding the flashlight for him when he's under the car. And he's never made her feel bad for all the times that she's dropped it on him.
->Bedtime stories/reading
Bucky has been reading bedtime stories with her since the day she came home from the hospital. If he's working late, he'll FaceTime Bee so he can finish whatever story they're currently on.
Sometimes you'll find the two of them in the sunroom, Bucky reading to Bee and Mr. Tato before her nap. Depending on the time and weather, he'll take her to the terrace and they'll read under the stars.
Although right now, they're making up their own story, it's nonsensical, they don't remember how it started, new characters appear out of nowhere and Bucky's managed to slip in a plot line from The Godfather. They look forward to it every night.
->Mini carnivals in the fall & spring
Bucky has always said that his baby doesn't have to wait in line. And there are no lines when he brings the carnivals and festivals to her. He can have the backyard transformed into a mini Disneyland overnight. All the games are rigged in her favor and she gets to meet her favorite characters. When she gets older, he's going to take her to nearby amusement parks. For now, he likes the personalized set up he's created for her.
No matter what they do, the best part of the day for her is all the time she gets to spend with her Papa just having fun. Bucky is looking forward to their first father-daughter dance, her recitals, discovering new books, teaching her to ride a bike and more.
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