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Xuebing Du
art blog(derogatory)
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we're not kids anymore.
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@kylecassidy
In 2008 I'd just finished a wildly successful photo book called Armed America: Portraits of Gun Owners in Their Homes and was feeling mounting pressure to follow it up, fastly, with something equally as exciting. I'd recently met science fiction novelist Michael Swanwick at a party and had thought…
The first of a muli-part reminiscence of poet, novelist and all around good human being, Peter Straub. This includes a lot of photographs of his writing space.
What to do when your dog is dying.
This came in the mail and I thought that since it applies to a lot of people, I'd answer here. If the rest of you want to share your stories and your love and your support, please do in the comments. A reader writes: "Our dog Dolby has cancer and we don’t know how long he has left (3 months? 9 months?) do you have any advice to cope? My wife and I are just so upset and have grief. I don’t even know how To process this. I know you went through this with Roswell." First – I’m sorry this is happening, but also, I’m glad that it’s happening. Unless you live with a grey parrot or a galapagos turtle, any dog or cat you get is probably going to die before you do. And it will be crushing. But it will only hurt as much as the inverse of the love you created together. If it hurts terribly, that’s because you gave that animal that much love. Dogs (and cats) in America die in staggering numbers every day (the ASPCA says 390,000 dogs are euthanized every year in America) – the fact that you’re sad about it means that your dog had what a quarter of a million dogs a year didn’t have – someone who loved him. You are the only people who truly know how powerful and how special that love is, and every bit of hurt you feel right now is because you and Dolby loved that much. Always remember; this is a happy story. This isn't a story about a dog who died, it's a story about three creatures on earth who found one another and lived for a time in exquisite happiness do deep and unique that nobody else can do anything but comprehend the shadow of it. Another thing you have, and that I do understand, is time. This made all the difference for Roswell and me. This ancient Buzzfeed article I found says that 1,200,000 dogs are killed by cars every year. These are dogs that presumably people loved but ran out into traffic one morning and boom. Finished. Having three months, or nine months to figure this out is a Very Lucky Thing. Because…. There are some things you can control, and some things that you can’t control. You can’t really so much control when your dog will die, but you *can* absolutely control how it happens and how special those days in between are. I can really only speak for myself here, but that’s what you asked for and so I’ll tell you some things that made it all easier for me when I found out that Roswell had three months to live…. First and foremost – realize that this isn’t really about you, it’s about Dolby. Dolby doesn’t know he’s going to die, he only knows if he feels happy or sad, or tired or in pain, and you are in control of all of those. You can make him happy, and you can keep him from feeling pain. Be the best dog parents you can be. Make Dolby the happiest dog on Earth, and when he’s not the happiest dog on Earth anymore, make sure that he’s never uncomfortable before it's over. What more can anyone ask for? We learned about a home-euthanasia service called “Lap of Love” which we called when our cat, Milla, had a stroke and, let me tell you, it was as close to a wonderful experience as it could possibly have been. There was no trip to the vet, there was no unfamiliar place, there was just love and then nothing. They're in the Yellow Pages. Don't be afraid to ask your friends for money to help make this happen. If you can, don’t leave Dolby alone, not because he might die while you’re gone, but because two years from now you’d empty out your bank account to have one of these lazy afternoons doing nothing with him and also because Dolby probably wants you around. There were times we had to leave Roswell, but we started a writers retreat and let people use our house as long as they sat with her. So grad students or poets would come and spend the afternoon or the weekend in the house, typing away on the Great American Something while Sparky napped on their laps feeling content and loved. Celebrate every day together. Every one. Every minute together is the superbowl touchdown of your lives. Live these last days hard and make them a lifetime of joy. Let him always know that you love him and that you know he loves you. Try and think of something good you can do because you’re feeling bad. I think a lot of people on Earth wake up and say to themselves “My life is bad, I’m angry. I want to make someone else sad so that in comparison, my life won’t feel so dreadful,” which is a terrible way to be. Do extra things that make others happy because of this. Can you sponsor a puppy? Take Dolby to visit an old neighbor? This is not a sad thing unless you let it be. I’ll tell you right now, that the last year Roswell and I had together was the best of the 13 years we had, because we appreciated it. I don’t think I’d trade it for five more ordinary years. It absolutely matters that other people acknowledge your experience. Don’t ever scroll past a friend’s post that a dog or cat or rabbit has died without saying something, because as ephemeral and perhaps silly as it may seem, those comments, those sad faces, every person saying “I understand that your are hurting” means something, so make it a part of your life to always offer support to others. Do something special and big. Maybe get a portrait of the three of you painted. Maybe make a youtube channel or tile the bathroom floor to look like Dolby, write a book of poems, make an album, make a comic but do some major undertaking to acknowledge how much his time with you means and (eventually) meant. But really, most importantly: make sure that Dolby feels love and happiness every single day until he feels nothing but a little tired and that the last thing he ever thinks is that he feels warm and he feels loved and that he had the best life ever. xox
Top Sekrit No Longer! Joan of Dark and I are headed back to Iceland this year on a travel knitting photography adventure.
Woah, hey! Still alive! "Anne is a housewife living in Eastern Nevada. Leland is her brother-in-law who was kicked in the head by a horse. For Leland’s 40th birthday, Anne takes him hunting near the ghost town of Osceola. Written and directed by John Rosenberg Starring Jennifer Summerfield and John Rosenberg February 8, 9, 15, 16, 22, 23, 29 March 1 Papermill Theater- 2825 Ormes Street Philadelphia All shows 2pm"
Is she a good witch, or a bad witch?
Oh dang I've been away for a while. Hello from #iceland! #leica #leicaM10 #voigtlander #portraits #photography @kambrieldesign
Wonderful new book from Black Dog and Leventhal Publishers and author Kyle Cassidy, This Is What a Librarian Looks Like: A Celebration of Libraries, Communities, and Access to Information.
Wonderful new book from Black Dog and Leventhal Publishers and author Kyle Cassidy, This Is What a Librarian Looks Like: A Celebration of Libraries, Communities, and Access to Information.
I wrote this book, about librarians.
Sometimes I miss the gym. Sometimes I don't.
This is a crime reporter who takes the local beat seriously. Found while reasearching the payphone book.
Fairmount Park Commission: you are wasting a valuable tourist opportunity along the shuylkil river trail. Proof of concept attached. @MyPhillyPark
Tumblr tells me that today is the 8th anniversary of me signing up for tumblr. So, here's a thing I wrote 3 years ago today, which I think is one of the truest things I've written, so here it is again. (Also, shirt has found a new home.) Go Ahead & Make A Resolution, But Make it One You Can Keep I've been reading a lot of year-end laments from people on the Internet, and I've been hearing it at the gym too. People whining that Our Refuge is going to be filled with NEW YEARS RESOLUTION AMATEURS and we won't be able to get a rowing machine for a week until they all pull calf muscles and go drown their sorrow in cheeseburgers and things return to normal. I almost have some sympathy for people who are complaining out of selfishness because they don't want the gym to be crowded, but I'm left baffled by people who just sit at their laptops wailing "YOU'RE GOING TO FAIL! DON'T BOTHER STARTING!" So I wanted to say; there's nothing wrong with a New Years Resolution -- or any resolution. But for a resolution to work, you need resolve, which is a difficult thing to maintain. I want to recommend the interview I did with Hanne Blank a year ago this month. Hanne's the author of (among many other things) The Unapologetic Fat Girl's Guide to Exercise & Other Incendiary Acts. In the interview Hanne says that when you promise yourself you're going to try something*, pick a reasonable number before you give up -- she suggests 100 days. If you're going to go to the gym, go to the gym for 100 days (this doesn't mean you get a three month membership, go three times and stop, it means you walk through the door and get on the exercise bike and you ride it 100 times) and this counts for taking French lessons too -- or whatever your promise to yourself is. Because the truth is you won't learn French in a week, and you won't lose 10 pounds in a week, though it's possible you will read Moby Dick in a week, so plan realistic time according to your desired result. If you go to the gym 100 times something will happen and it probably won't be insignificant, that's true for 100 French lessons too, c'est vrai. Also, I think it's also ok to have magic be a part of your plan. I believe in magic. Or at least I believe that talismans can be powerful if you let them. And I have a talisman that worked for me that I want to give away. I recently came across this photo of myself from Readercon 2012 and thought what a long, slow trip it's been, and how it was motivated by magic things and kind people.
Clickenzee to embiggen! The Magnum Connection The gym kind of sucks, at first it especially sucks and eventually you get to this weird place where if you don't go you feel bad, like some weird drug that makes you hurt but you want it anyway. I can't explain it, but anyway, in between the "whee! I'm going to join the gym and lose ten pounds, let's go shopping for outfits! and "I haven't been to the gym in six days and I'm going freaking crazy! there's a lot of "why did I do this? this freaking blows" -- and those are the days that people stop going, and once you stop going, you don't really ever go back and your new years resolution is over. In the early days of my experience with The Gym I realized that I'd never seen the last episode of Magnum p.i., a show which I enjoyed in my youth but didn't have a TV when it ended. So one afternoon I thought, "I'll just watch that on Netflix" but then I thought "Well, I shouldn't just watch the last episode because I won't know what's going on, I'll watch the last season". So I started watching the last season at the gym while I rode the exercise bike and this was perfect. Because I really enjoyed the show, and it was 43 minutes long, which is a good workout and I was motivated to go back every day to see another episode because there was the goal of the Last Episode just X gym days away. And then a funny thing happened. I started posting about my Magnum p.i. watching to Twitter and Facebook (because it's easier with the mobile app to post to them than it is to Livejournal (I mentioned this to them years ago)) -- anyway, people started to get excited about it. And there was much conversation back and forth about Magnum and my going to the gym and then every day I felt an obligation to people who were following along vicariously so I'd do updates about the Magnum p.i. episode I was watching.... And then a crazy thing happened. People on the Internet started sending me stuff -- random strangers who'd been following along started sending me Magnum p.i. shirts, because somehow it had gotten that interesting. So now not only was I watching TV and working out BUT I HAD MAGIC CLOTHES, clothes made out of love & support and trust. And that was a big turning point. Once I had the magic-shirt of weight-loss I felt I couldn't stop. Clickenzee to embiggen!! I finished the last season of Magnum p.i., and then I went back to season 1 and started from the beginning. By the time I got to season 4 I'd lost a lot of weight and my heart and lungs had gotten stronger and I was able, for the first time, to run. That burned more calories faster and, well, we all know what happened from there. So, I have this magic shirt, it's made of love and support and trust and motivation and I lost 40 pounds while wearing it and I want to give it to you because it's helped me as much as it needs to and it needs to help someone else. I will wash it first. So drop me an email, or post in the comments about how a magic exercise shirt will help you with your goal. Best story by next Friday gets the shirt. This magic shirt can be yours And if you want, you can keep it for 12 months and then give it to someone else who needs it. That's often how magic things work best. Anyway, have a swell day. (* btw "something" doesn't necessarily mean weight loss -- you can be whatever size you want, it just happened to be one of my personal goals. This applies to writing a novel or going to Europe or whatever your resolution might be -- pick your goal, look for the magic, and find the thing that makes you work towards your goal every day.) EDIT: It's 2015, if you're reading this now because it's getting shared a lot, the shirt found a home. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't start something. Finish something. Be fierce. Find magic.
Google gets to the core of what it is to be human by studying four billion brains.
Ace Frehley, probably 197? Photographer sadly unknown.
