Strange stuff my teacher has said:
(about students’ papers) “I wish I could just give it back and say ‘no that’s crap, do it again!’, but I can’t”
“Be horrible to each other so that you’ll all leave me alone”
(to one of his classes) “I only want you to come, no one else. It’s only you I like, I hate everybody else!”
“I know there’s a lot of you who wouldn’t be seen dead with me in public”
“So if any of you are really dying to read about pee in public swimming pools, well, then urine luck!” (he said this three times)
“I know how radish think”
(about the future of nuclear power plants) “I think it sounds like a blast!”
“You’re not going to understand shit, and that’s exacly how I want it”
(About a lecture he’s holding later) “I’m gonna go there, get drunk and make a fool out of myself”
“We’re not going to get a new teacher yesterday”
(Telling us about the new self-locking doors at our school, and how you need a key to get out after 4) “So that’s something to keep in mind if you’re planning a break-in here: don’t let the door close behind you”
“I’m stressed, depressed – and I’m not even well dressed!” (he always wear cargo pants)
“At least he got to see me before I died– Ehhh, wait a second…” […] “But then I died when he was twelve– GOD DAMNIT NOT AGAIN”
(making up an exaple of a children’s story book) “Once upon a time there was a dog called Eric, Eric was a Labrador and his favourite hobby was chasing people, pulling them to the ground and biting them until they begged for mercy”
(while attending the art class’ vernissage) “I’m just here for the free food, honestly”
“So if we disregard all the stuff that was bad, it was pretty good!”
(we have a deaf kid in out class) “Okay, but how do you sign sarcasm in sign language?”
“What do bushes sound like?” (he then replied to his own question:) “fsfsfsfsfsfshh…”
