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Last updated: 6/7/26
A -----------------------------------------------------------
anon(s?) via @perseaphoneaa
3 times Shane Hollander was Ilya’s safe space Ilya, various
Anxious Human Writes Story and Selfishly Makes It Another Human's Problem part 1, part 2 Ilya, unknown
Breathing in and out (except underwater) Shane, lake water
Greetings, Blessings, and Sneezing for Hat Tricks part 1, part 2 Shane, cold
I/lya being allergic as hell to S/hanes citrus shower gel Ilya, allergies
The power of persuasion Shane, unknown
Your Mess is Mine Shane, sick
B -----------------------------------------------------------
@bl3ssvous
compilation Ilya, various, ~1k
@bless-you-babe
Maybe part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4 Shane, sick
@blesser-in-disguise
All-Subpar Game part 1, part 2 Ilya & Shane, sick; 5.5k, 7.6k
drive me to distraction (or the cottage (preferably the cottage)) Ilya & Shane, allergies, 6.4k
Reoccurring Plight Care (epilogue to Three Times Shane Hid Something From Ilya, and One Time Ilya Helped Him) Shane, allergies, 5.4k
Unexpected Interference part 1, part 2 Ilya, sick; 6.6k, 8.5k
The Scent of Defeat Ilya and Marleau, allergies 7.2k
There's a Worst Time for Everything Ilya, allergies, 4.3k
Three Times Shane Hid Something From Ilya, and One Time Ilya Helped Him part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, epilogue Shane, various; 2.2k, 5.2k, 6.2k, 7.6k
C -----------------------------------------------------------
@caramelfuzz
untitled part 1, part 2, part 3 Ilya, cold
@cutenose
An Itch You Can't Scratch Ilya, sick
Cologne That Makes You Blush Ilya, allergies
Give Me Your Nose Shane, cold
D -----------------------------------------------------------
@diamond-pixie-dust
Biological Warfare part 1, part 2 Ilya & Shane, cold; 2.8k
Tales from the Locker Room Ilya, temperature change
F -----------------------------------------------------------
@feverfcking
The Horrifying Ordeal of Being Known part 1 Shane, cold, 4k
Make it Better Ilya, cold, 5k
H -----------------------------------------------------------
@hollanovsnz (tysm for the masterlist!)
An (Un)healthy Scratch Shane, cold
Bunny Shane, allergies
Coming up Roses Shane, cold, 2.6k
Headspace Ilya, allergies
Hazards of Our Occupation part 1, part 2 Ilya, various
His Russian Weighted Blanked part 1 Shane, cold
It’s You part 1, part 2, part 3 Shane, various
H/R One-Shot #1 Shane, cold
H/R One-Shot #2 Shane, cold
H/R One-Shot #3 Ilya, cold, 2.1k
H/R One-Shot #4 Shane, allergies
Ilya recognizing Shane's cold sneezes part 1, part 2 Shane, cold
Because I'm obsessed with Sh/ane and I/lya sitting in each others' laps and because I think Shane is equally, if not more, sensory seeking than he is sensory avoidant, I present to you: Sh/ane who wants weighted things and deep pressure when he's sick. Especially when he's got a fever or he's really congested and his body just feels wrong with it all. Like its edges aren't where he expects them to be and it makes him prickle with nervous anxiety.
When he's sick on his own, this looks like rolling himself tightly in blankets, or laying on the couch with a weighted blanket on him. (They're good for promoting healthy sleep. There's been studies.) Following a particularly harsh set of sneezes by flopping hard onto his bed, and then burying his head as deeply into the pillow as he can.
Shane doesn't stop doing this when Ilya is around because he doesn't realise it's.. unusual. (He's ignoring the time that Hayden laughed out loud when he came back to a hotel room to find Shane and a tissue box in a duvet burrito on the bed. "Can you breathe in there, buddy?") Ilya, however, finds it a little concerning.
"That is comfortable? You should not wrap yourself up like that when you've got a fever, sweetheart..."
And if Shane is going to be wrestled out of his cocoon against his will, then the only option is to tug Ilya down to sit in his lap. Because the weight of his body is so grounding, and Shane can press himself into Ilya's chest, and nudge and make little sniffly noises until Ilya gets the message and wraps his arms around Shane.
"Ngh... Tighter..."
"You will suffocate..."
"Nh'won'd..."
He will, however, need to sneeze when he's all wrapped up in Ilya. And which point he'll try his best to extract himself...
Ilya's only concession is to slip a handful of tissues through to Shane, which get wedged somewhere between Shane's tickly nose and Ilya's strong chest, as Ilya holds him even tighter as he sneezes and sneezes.
And it turns out that being wrapped in or underneath Ilya is even more soothing than a blanket. Another body's heat helps his temperature regulate more than a blanket does, and he can match his snuffly breathing to Ilya's tempo. And Ilya can also do things like stroke his hair, and rub his back, and pass him tissues, and mutter softly in Russian about how awfully sick Shane is.
Bonus part: when Ilya has to go to practice, he literally tucks Shane up in the bedcovers before he leaves. And it's almost as nice.
need il/ya inducing himself while sitting on sh/ane’s lap
one rule: sh/ane has to sit on his hands. no touching. no squirming. no grinding.
if sh/ane makes an effort to touch himself, il/ya pulls the inducing tool out of his nose and waits until sh/ane gets a handle on himself
and sh/ane wants to be good. he wants to show il/ya that he can listen to his directions, no matter how hard he gets.
except il/ya’s hips buck up against him with every sneeze, and since il/ya makes no effort to cover, sh/ane feels each expulsion in its fullest.
not to mention that il/ya’s allowed to touch sh/ane. he’s allowed to make as much commentary as he wants. he can cup sh/ane’s bulge through his pants, purr that he’s being so good— “so ghhood, malysh”. he can bless himself and kiss and preen and do whatever he pleases.
‼️Kind of gross, so you have been warned. CW: mess.‼️
Obsessed lately with the idea of someone using another persons clothes as a tissue.
I bring this up because I've had this idea of Shane who's sick, a bit of a mess, and has run out of tissues, so he's a bit desperate.
Breath fluttering because he's been fighting the urge to sneeze for the past few minutes, knowing it's going to be messy; he's losing fast, though. He's frantically pawing around for something, anything to sneeze into, snagging a t-shirt off his floor, bringing it up just in time for him to sneeze into it.
Shane snuffles thickly in the aftermath, cringing at the noise it makes, maybe reflexively blowing his nose into the fabric. Then he realizes something.
This isn't his t-shirt.
Of course it isn't he should of realized the second he plucked it off the floor, since all his shirts are neatly tucked away in the laundry basket.
Which means it can only be Ilya's, and Shane's face just flushes bright red, a little mortified for a moment, but then again...it's not like Ilya's actually here.
He can wash it still, and it's not like Ilya has to know Shane sneezed on his shirt. So Shane just uses that as justification to continue using it, because he's too tired to get up to find more tissues.
B who is so sick of being congested that they dig out in old candle they know they're alergic too in a desprete effort too 'sneeze it out,' and their closeted snz-fucker partner who gets to watch
(said partner nearly moans when B accidently blows out the candle with their messily spraying sneezes)
i keep thinking about someone with a heavy head cold, holding a blanket around themselves, leaned into someone's shoulder or chest while they desperately build up. Nostrils quivering, eyes squinted, nose running down to their parted lips.
While their partner has a couple of tissues in hand just below their nose as they patiently wait for the poor thing to sneeze.
they rub their back, give soft encouragement, especially when the poor sweetheart does finally snz after such a long wait. They tell them how full the tissue is getting and how good the sickie is doing as the warm thick mess makes the tissue stack heavy in their hand.
feeling the sickie shudder through their snzs and stuffily ask to blow their nose that's still impossibly overfilled with cold. You can't say no to such a pitiful precious face, can you?
As promised, a sneeze survey has been created. The survey is here and the data is here. I haven't done any data visualisation stuff yet but it will come eventually. Please reblog for reach.
Bucky’s suffering in Louisiana and Sam won’t let him live it down
-PLS DONT REBLOG TO NON-KINK BLOGS!!-
***
“Mmnhh… ’m sorry we had to cancel the trip.”
Lying on his back, stretched out on Sam’s living room couch like he did the very first night he slept over, Bucky pinches the bridge of his nose and sniffles. He’s probably sniffled over a thousand times since he woke up this morning, his sinuses full and decidedly wildly allergic to everything in the air.
At first, Bucky had insisted he was fine, that he could manage an eight hour expedition into Louisiana’s ragweed and pollen-rich swamps without any problems. But after spending the first hour of the day coughing, sniffling, sneezing and wheezing in constant rotation, and then launching into an astonishing sneezing fit during breakfast (18 times within 20 seconds), Sam made the executive decision to call off the fishing trip they were supposed to go on with his nephews.
“I told you already, Buck. It’s fine.” Sam sets a Kleenex box on the coffee table. “We’ll do it another time, reschedule.”
Bucky squints, pink nostrils flaring. “But a-are the boys really dis… disa… disahh’TSHhh—” he jolts from his pillow and sneezes harsh enough to send tears down his face. “Guh, disappointed?”
Sam tries- and fails- to suppress an amused smile.
Despite having heard Bucky sneeze at least a hundred times already today, there’s just something about the way he interrupts himself with an itchy little burst that makes Sam feel all gooey inside.
“It’s not funny, Sam,” Bucky huffs, offended. “Was waiting ten minutes for that sneeze- snf!- and not even a damn bless you.”
Sam shakes his head with a fond chuckle as he settles himself into the loveseat closest to the couch. Meanwhile, Bucky lets out a stuffy groan, using his fingertips to massage the tender spots under his eyes where his sinuses are the most backed up.
“You know, I thought you said Steve was the one with all the allergies.”
“Yeah, well, the twenty first century…” Bucky laments, gesturing vaguely at the air with his vibranium hand, “it doesn’t agree with me.”
Sam laughs. “I just think your little urban nose isn’t quite acquainted with the Southern pollen. Huh, city boy?” He boops the tip of Bucky’s nose, drawing out a ticklish gasp.
“hih’hiH—!? Ugh…” the cresting sneeze backs down almost as quickly as it came on, but Bucky feels it lingering in his swollen nasal cavities. “It’s pro’ly both,” he says, answering Sam’s mostly rhetorical question. He gives his nose a good rub, hoping to tease the sneeze out.
“Hm. Probably,” Sam grins, endeared. He watches Bucky focus on his nose, nostrils twitching and breath wavering. “Is it- oh, yeah, there you go,” he says when Bucky finally draws in a deep, pre-sneeze inhale.
“eH’DJSSHhiw!!” Bucky curls forward, sneezing openly at his lap while Sam keeps a steady hand on his back. “huH— EH’TZSChiiw!!”
“Bless you. You good?”
“I think- oh no.” Bucky pinches his quivering nostrils shut and stifles three sneezes into wet, squeaky squelches. “hih’kkddt! dDZSshh! gDZzhsht!!”
“Aw, wow. Those all came at once.”
Bucky scrunches up his face and roughly rubs his nose with the back of his metal hand. “God, I’m still so itchy.”
“Easy there, tiger,” Sam says, taking Bucky’s wrist away from his face. “Want me to do the compress thing?”
“Ngh... I guess. Just need to- h’hih—?!” He hitches desperately to no avail, then lets out an annoyed groan as his nostrils continue to quiver teasingly. “Need to get this itch out of my nose.”
Sam rises and gives Bucky a pat on the shoulder. “I think it’ll help.”
“Huh… h’hopefully— hih’DZZSHhk!!” He sneezes again, itchy-sounding and frustratingly useless. “Dammit.” He forcefully scrubs at his suffering nose all over again.
Sam frowns with pity. “Bless you, Buck. Hang on, I’ll be right back.”
Thinking about sympathetic snz S/hane and i/lya knows this about him so when he has a cold he tries to hide it. S/hane being into snz knows all the telltale signs. And I/lya thinks the shower is somehow sound proof which it isn’t, finding S/hane with balled up tissues in bed once he’s out of the bathroom. “ allergies acting up today?” I/lya would try to be smug about it and S/hane would look at him deadpan, “no my husbands cold is making me sneeze.”
omg anon this is such an amazing idea!!! S/hane would be sooo done because I/lya tends to get really sneezy colds, which means he makes S/hane really sneezy as well... basically after some time its just them trying and failing NOT to snz
I feel like I/lya once hes comfortable letting loose has the most snotty and spray sneezes ever and s/hane would think it was absolutely disgusting if it was anyone else but him and i/lya are sitting outside in chairs looking at the view and i/lya is sneezing into the sunlight and now S/hane is squirmy and warm and wants to go inside and tend to his husbands drippy nose and have I/lya tend to his drippy d—
anon you are putting so many ideas and images into my head! yes, absolutely!! (once I/lya realizes S/hane is into it, he's not against letting out all of his sneezes during sex either. (i yearn for freak4freak h/ollanov))
very horny idea of someone who has the kink who loves being teased, not allowed to snz but to just make a mess
so they one of their usual inducing tools and get to work
they love how depserate and hitchy they get from the back and forth feeling of the item inside. Feeling the inside of their nose swell to try and get the irritant out, then their nose starts to run.
very loose wet thin sniffles between hitches, their nostrils flare. Maybe their get a mirror so they can watch.
The twist the object as they push it in just a lil further and their hitches sound like hiccups, needy hiccups, hiccups like they're so so so close! but they pull back and leave themselves on the edge.
when they pull it out a thin line of snot runs down and they don't both to snort it back much. Seeing it makes them groan and put the tool back in but this time they use the other nostril. Same routine, constantly teasing themself.
They squirm, whine and whimper as their snot leaks from both nostrils- that are getting a little pink- down to their upper lip
maybe they'll give themselves a little relief? just a little.
They let themself snz two times and within those two times snot bubbles and oozes out, the rest that doesn't come out is trapped at the widely flaring edges of their nostrils begging for their chance of escape.
the mirror is covered in spray, with thin trails of mess attached lightly clouding the view of themself. but its so good they want more, the mes they're seeing isn't enough.
sh/ane writing a grocery list and mealprepping... meanwhile, il/ya’s bumbling from room to room (waiting for sh/ane to finish being fussy over his list) and sneezing every few minutes
sometimes they come in threes or sets of two. on occassion, they’re intermixed with nose blows
sh/ane blesses il/ya under his breath and adds “tissues x3” to his list
