I'll be honest , I do not understand any of this yet , nor have I seen things for myself yet , so I'm still trying to figure them out ! I'd like to ask , a question you might have heard many times ; how we realize this ? I tried to question myself things , and I end up with no answers that fits or any realization . I either start falling in an endless loop of
>>> yeah nothing is happening>> but why am I still miserable ?>>> there is no such thing as a person being miserable >>>> but it stills appear so>>> yeah but it's unreal I'm the one to claim it as true , so I can just , decide not to . >>> wait isn't that hypocritical of me to say that ?? isn't that just denial ?? I feel bad >>> no one is feeling bad actually >>> but that doesn't make any sense ?? that should come from somewhere !! >>> well it's all from nothing !>>> but why ?? that can't work !!>>> well the mind can't understand shit like this obviously >>> then what's the point of learning this stuff ? how am I supposed to get this thing when the mind isn't able to ?? >>> just be >>>> but how ??? life keeps moving just as before , I must have still not understood this >>> life doesn't move it's just an appearance and you always understood this >>> then why I'm still feeling like this ??>>> all appearances >>> well I don't want to have a bad dream duh !! if things were going to stay the same then there is no point >>> I get tangled unconsciously with the illusion >>> back to square one .
or I start blaming myself since I don't get shit ; something bad happens >> I remember that it's just a story with no truth >>> I feel like I'm forcing myself to say it , knowing damn well that if it was something good , I'd never deny it's existence >>> feel bad for lying to myself >>> feel bad the the bad things that happens to me and the people around because I'm the one deciding and being aware of this .
if anything , questioning things seems obvious and frustrating , somehow I end up with different conclusions , so many things that I don't understand or actually end up with a "I don't know" . I don't know anything , that's the one thing that I know with no hesitation .
I'm writing this hoping that your answer might spark something in Me , even tho I know that you said that no such aha moment will happen , I don't want to lie to myself at least !
that being said , it is nice to have you back , your answers and posts were always a joy to read !!! hope that you will have fun being here again !
This was never about intellectualising the pointers and trying to derive conclusions from them. Notice how you're only ever aware of these thoughts, they come from nothing and dissolve into the same nothingness. Temporary, unsubstantial, empty at their core, they don't come 'to' someone. They don't belong to someone, just appearances.
Look at what they're pointing to, you can't understand what you are, you can only realise that you've always been it.
Please don't be so hard on yourself too, relax, watch, be patient, the nature of " " is self revealing just step back and watch!