no

they / them / theirs crack kristoph gavinaceattornerds tracking: l awful (with space)

[subwayfish-blog]

i should send kristoph a letter with nothing but “nya” in green crayon written with my left hand on it

[subwayfish-blog]

[l-awful]

[l-awful]

i say no. but deep down in my heart. i also mean no.

[l-awful]

i’ve read nearly every book in this room.

[l-awful]

i fogort  i still had beans resevrd

[l-awful]

now why would anyone want to tase me? i’m simply living like anyone else.

[l-awful]

mystical-maya:

well, you gotta make hotel reservations or something, right? just like, dont leave. eyeah

i’ll just impose on my bruder for awhile. i’m sure he won’t mind.

[l-awful]

mystical-maya:

well, its a little too late to leave right now, so why dont you let this be your last night and leave tomorrow? i can uh, have some police people help you move…

it’s never to late to leave. i don’t have very many belongings truthfully. i only care for one. 

[l-awful]

mystical-maya:

that place seems pretty nice, actually, and you should Not Leave, Ever

it's comfortable, true. but i have business to attend to.

[l-awful]

deathbydahlia:

thank you. i work hard.

interesting… i’ve never heard of going in cold. you really are something. sad i didn’t catch your name, we could work together to get everybody who’s ever done anything wrong to us.

i’m sure you do.

i don’t know how well that would turn out. i’m not fond of working in pairs, but i suppose i have nothing left to lose. 

kristoph gavin. former defense attorney.

[l-awful]

deathbydahlia:

well then your’e going to have problems. not sure how to break it to you, you kind of have to reel them in by forming a bond and breaking their trust before you kill them.

you can’t just go straight for the kill, it won’t work. trust me. i’ve killed four people.

astonishing! that’s quite a few that you’ve gotten.

oh, trust me. you can do it without a bond, it’s been done before countless times. plus, even those who like you tend to betray you anyway. 

it’s just easier to do it when they trust you. it gives one a bit more time to come up with a way to get out. unless of course, they cheat you out of it.

[l-awful]

mystical-maya:

oh. well, meeting you is almost as cool as meeting klavgav! 

you should still make parodies though. theyd get popular

i don’t particularly want to work with him. and i doubt he wants to work with me. 

you can definitely ask him if he wants to. we can go from there.

[l-awful]

deathbydahlia:

you could pour it into their coffee when they’re not looking, that’s what i always do.

or poison your boyfriend’s cold medicine.

or just push them into a downed power line.

or simply just tell him to drink it if you think he doesn’t love you anymore.

honestly, there’s many ways to get your job done.

quatsch. we aren’t, nor have we ever been, in any relationship other than a strained platonic farce. as of now i’m sure they’re not very fond of me. 

a power line is too obvious. to risky. there’s too many chances for witnesses. then i’d end up exactly where i started.

i can’t simply ask them to tea, you know.

[l-awful]

mystical-maya:

i cant believe klavier gavin is plotting a murder

how terrible. maybe someone should arrest him.

[l-awful]

mystical-maya:

really? well, you look just like him! you should do like, parodies or something.

he looks just like me. i was the first to wear my hair like this, he decided to follow suit. i’m his older sibling.

[l-awful]

deathbydahlia:

how do you even plan to poison someone anyways? you can’t just throw the bottle around like it’s no big deal.

oh, of course not. do you think i’m a fool? 

if i’m going to poison my target then i’m going to have to be craftier than last time. simple poisoned nail polish and stamp won’t do. much too many variables.

i need something more... controllable. i will most likely have to use the one dearest to them. perhaps i could trick them into giving it to the target? i think that might be my base plan. 

[l-awful]

mystical-maya:

and now klavier gavin and ariana grande are talking to me

i am not klavier gavin.

[l-awful]

mystical-maya:

ive never been on an airplane, i dont care about politics, and the memes are getting better by the day

i see. well i’ll take your word for it then. maybe i’ll be able to check in on them later.