how to sell a haunted house - grady hendrix sentence starters
change tenses/pronouns as needed !! ย some lines have been edited for clarity / length / ease of roleplaying
tw ; death , alcohol , language , mental health
โyou need to sit down.โ
โjesus, iโm sorry Iโm not doing it the right way. iโm sure youโd be perfect at this.โ
โI find knowing these details makes it easier.โ
โyou should have a drink, too.โ
โiโm not going to die. not for a long time.โ
โjust because we shared a bathroom for fifteen years doesnโt mean you know a thing about me.โ
โmy yoga instructor knows more about me than you do.โ
โI knew youโd do this. I knew youโd show up and start telling everyone what to do.โ
โlook, I know you need to be in charge, but Iโve taken care of this.โ
โstop telling me how to deal with things. things are dealt with. I dealt with them.โ
โyou canโt argue with someone when theyโre upset.โ
โI donโt know what got into me, but I overreacted and Iโm not proud of if it, and it wasnโt fair to you.โ
โyou always needed everyone looking at you.โ
โI didnโt do it for attention. I did it because I was upset.โ
โI donโt like coming in here anyways. itโs got bad vibes.โ
โyou canโt put a price tag on love.โ
โbeing here is really bad for my mental health.โ
โI know you donโt like me because iโm not successful enough for you.โ
โiโm actually happy with my life.โ
โif we arenโt related, if we met today, we wouldnโt chose to be friends.โ
โI donโt think we should be in here at all. I think my plan was better.โ
โdonโt you feel the vibes?โ
โthis is happening too fast. we need to slow down.โ
โyour house is haunted.โ
โevery single time I give you the benefit of the doubt, or I try to help, it comes back and bites me in the ass. every! single! time!โ
โour house is not haunted.โ
โiโm telling you thereโs weird vibe. I can feel it in my gut.โ
โmethinks thou doth protesteth too much.โ
โghosts donโt exist.โ
โthere are true things and there are false things, and there are no in-betweens.โ
โthere are facts, like houses and car accidents and cremation, and thereโs bullshit like ghosts and vibes and exorcisms. and if you start getting the true things mixed up with the false things, youโre fucked!โ
โreality is not a consensus!โ
โwhen you donโt like the way a conversation is going you deflect with personal attacks.โ
โyouโre like some kind of emotionally abusive octopus entangling everyone in your word tentacles.โ
โeven I know that you donโt go back in a haunted house after dark.โ
โthe only things here are memories, and those canโt hurt us.โ
โyouโre very threatened by new ideas.โ
โI offered to stay tonight because I thought it would be good for you. iโm hoping it gives you some closure.โ
โwhy are you so mad at me? is it because you feel guilty?โ
โiโm sorry you remember it that way because that must feel terrible, but thatโs not what happened.โ
โstop telling me what I remember!โ
โno one ever says no to you, (name) because weโre all scared youโre going to lose your temper.โ
โoh, fuck you. nice try, (name), but fuck you.โ
โno matter what you did, I still donโt want anything bad to happen to you.โ
โeverything has to be a big production and youโre the star.โ
โeverything has to be a big production and youโre the star. all because you canโt face the fact that your life is sad and empty.โ
โitโs a little late for you to start being my brother now.โ
โyou blew my mind. it felt like we were the only two people left in the world.โ
โno matter what, I donโt want to ditch you here with a bunch of ghosts.โ
โright now what you need, for once in your life, is to listen to me.โ
โthe way youโre laughing is actually really, really scary.โ
โnone of this is real.โ
โI donโt think Iโm well. I think something is really wrong inside me.โ
โdonโt you fucking laugh at me. for the first time ever, my life finally makes sense.โ
โI donโt think I know whatโs real anymore.โ
โmy explanation is logically consistent. yours is all magical energy.โ
โit was absolutely terrifying.โ
โhow much trouble are you in?โ
โlook at me. youโre not crazy. this really happened.โ
โdonโt make this funny.โ
everything youโve seen tonight, iโve seen it too.โ
โiโm sorry I wasnโt stronger.โ
โit was easier to pretend nothing happened.โ
โmy entire life Iโve always known something was wrong with me. iโve spend my entire life scared that if didnโt do everything exactly right, reality would unravel around me and Iโd lose myself again.โ
โI hope you feel better. iโm fine.โ
โI didnโt think you had it in you.โ
โall the things I did, I want to forget.โ
โiโm not doing it! iโm not doing it again!โ
โyou need to get out of here right now.โ
โit wonโt hurt me, but itโll hurt you. you have to go right now!โ
โdonโt let him do this again. donโt let him take over.โ
โan apology would go a long way.โ
โcan you keep it down? I had to lie about what happened to a lot of people.โ
โare you seriously upset with me because I saved your life?โ
โyou need to accept reality.โ
โyouโve become such a grouch.โ
โI wish youโd let someone take care of you.โ
โdo you agree that there are forces greater than this world and we are helpless in the face of them?โ
โwe donโt have time to fuck around.โ
โiโd like to say this the weirdest shit thatโs ever happened to me but I have a bad feeling itโs about to get a lot worse.โ
โI told you this was a bad idea.โ
โI think weโre fucked.โ
โthis is wrong. what youโre doing is wrong.โ
โletโs talk about something thatโs actually interesting.โ
โit just hurts a little. and by โa littleโ I mean โa lotโ and also โall the time.โโ