Why are people so insecure about appearing insecure?
And why is liking attention interpreted as insecurity in the first place?
I'm funny, smart, and beautiful. Why wouldn't I want to share my favorite parts of myself?
Humans are social animals. It's normal and deeply human to crave attention. In order to build connection, you must first attract.
You want others to love something about you--that’s not some evil thing you need to bury and refute.
Besides, there is more joy in authenticity than there is in performance. I like attention and that's okay.
And I get it, humans are wired to monitor how we’re perceived because belonging used to be tied to survival. So people don’t just want connection, they want security in those connections. They want to be seen as someone others can rely on, admire, or at least not feel burdened by.
But there are others out there where you can still openly signal your need for attention to them while still appearing reliable, admirable, and unburdensome. If someone doesn't like you, no variety of nonchalance is gonna change that. And even if it does, the relationship will then fall apart when you're no longer able to keep up the mask--and that sounds like an exhausting way to live.
Performing detachment all the time is a kind of slow burnout. It might get you more initial approval, but it filters for people who only like the edited version of you.
Being insecure about appearing insecure… still looks insecure.
This whole “I hope people notice this but please don’t think I care” energy is just kinda sad to me.
We need attention and validation to form connection, but we seem so ashamed of needing it. So we pretend we don’t need it, which typically distances us from the very connection we want.
I like being seen, and I’m not going to contort myself to earn it, but liking attention isn’t a moral failure.
I hope people notice me, even if it’s something as small as how I like my tea (with whole milk and creamed blackberry honey btw). It’s literally the point of the old adage: If a tree falls in the woods but no one is there to hear it, did it ever fall at all?
That doesn’t mean you need to be remembered into some sort of permanence, but being seen is part of how I experience my existence as real.
I like attention, and I’m okay if I don’t get it, but I’m not going to pretend as if the need isn’t there.
Maybe liking attention appears to be insecure on the surface, but I think it’s more insecure to pretend that you don’t.
Why would you want to exist in a vacuum?
