—ASHES TO ASHES

Lachlan Peters. 28. High School Counselor. Let me tell you what I do know: I am more than one thing, and not all of those things are good. The truth is complicated. It’s two-toned, multi-vocal, bittersweet. I used to think that if I dug deep enough to discover something sad and ugly, I’d know it was something true. Now I’m trying to dig deeper. I didn’t want to write these pages until there were no hard feelings, no sharp ones. I do not have that luxury. I am sad and angry and I want everyone to be alive again. I want more landmarks, less landmines. I want to be grateful but I’m having a hard time with it.

[lachlan-peters-archive]

—Starter for @triscordero​ Location: On The Rocks​

Lachlan had never actually been on a blind date before, and he had to admit he was nervous. There was something that felt vaguely desperate about having to ask a friend to hook you up with someone, but after the absolute disaster that had been his dating life as of late, well... maybe he was a little desperate. 

It hadn’t been nearly as satisfying as he’d hoped it would be when he announced to Fei at lunch that he had a date that evening, and it left him feeling oddly off-balance even as he entered the bar. He’d thought to call ahead and reserve a table, so when his date arrived she’d be led right to him. He’d only just sat down when he saw a woman approach the host who then pointed in his direction. 

He stood as she approached in a show of gentlemanly manners, hoping it came across as more charming than horribly old-fashioned. “Hey. Tris?” 

[lachlan-peters-archive]

dustinemmerson​:

It was far more rational, which was always both a strength and shortcoming of Dustin’s. She viewed the world a little more pragmatically than perhaps she needed to, but it was just in her nature. She’d been raised in a rough environment, the real dangers of life far more present than any fictional one. When truth gets scarier than fiction, it’s hard to get freaked out by ghosts and ghouls. “I can get behind some Kong vs Godzilla. Just the kind of mindless entertainment that works for a movie and dinner night,” Dustin approved, stamping the idea with her seal of approval. “But, oh, yeah, here. I put mine in the cart to order, so add yours in and we’ll be set,” Dustin grinned, handing his phone back over so they could get the rest of the night started. Bringing her wine glass up to her lips, Dustin took a sip, looking back towards Lachlan with a half smile. “So, uh - how…was your day?”  

**

It was fairly easy to put in his order considering there was exactly one thing on the menu he actually liked. The $5.99 delivery charge was a tad ridiculous, but he didn’t even mention it - writing it off as the cost of roommate bonding. “40 minutes, they say,” he announced, before slipping his phone into the pocket of his sweats. “My day was... good,” he said, having to think about it. And overall it was: he and Fei managed to not trip over any landmines for the day and most of his students were too excited about summer holidays to dwell in their privileged misery. “How about you? Any- I dunno, breakthroughs?” Quite honestly, he barely understood any of what Dustin did, but he knew it was important. 

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landryleona​: 

Her eyes widened as for just the breadth of a second, she believed him wholeheartedly. Halfway through, though, her lips curved into a grin and she nudged into him with her shoulder. “What if one ends up in the hallway, and this is the last thing you said to me? At my funeral, you’ll have to stand up in front of my entire family and say ‘ah, yes, in her final moments, I brought her comfort by foreshadowing her death. I should’ve known, Leona is always right about everything.’” She said, pitching her voice lower in a poor imitation of his. She tried to feign seriousness in her imaginary eulogy, but it was no more successful than her impersonation of Lachlan. She wouldn’t admit it aloud, but he had helped. She heaved a sigh, straightening her shoulders and gesturing in front of her. “You first. You might be faster, but I need to be closer to the exit in case they do break free.”

**

He rolled his eyes at her impression, still as awful as it had been when they were teenagers. “Hey, if you die, chances are I’m going down along with you. We can be buried together, and your headstone can say ‘I’m with stupid.’ Mine will obviously say ‘I’m stupid’... Our families will save a shit ton on the joint funeral, and hey, maybe my father might even look your ‘den of heathens’ in the eye for once...” Brian Peters’ disdain for the Landry family was a not so well-kept secret, and probably part of the reason he and Leona worked so well together. He sighed teasingly, but made his way to the entrance all the same. “Fine, I’ll be your brave protector, but allow me to remind you, it was your idea to come here today... I suggested strawberry picking and day drinking. No one was ever mauled to death picking fruits.” 

[lachlan-peters-archive]

feidavenport​: 

It was falling apart already. They were thirty seconds into pretending their last night together hadn’t happened, and going back to being ‘friends’, and it was already crumbling. She’d known it wouldn’t work, but she’d hoped it would last longer than this. 

She could almost physically feel the distance between them growing, and she was once again unable to look him in the eyes. Like someone had pressed rewind… but they weren’t going back far enough to make a difference. Only to helplessly watch the painful parts play out yet again.

“Lach…” she whispered. “I’m so sorry.” She didn’t know at first exactly what she was apologizing for - there was so much. She shouldn’t have kissed him, she shouldn’t have slept with him, she shouldn’t have let him leave, she shouldn’t have avoided him for months, she shouldn’t have come here, she shouldn’t have mentioned Nick. Some of those things she didn’t regret at all, but she’d take them back in a second if it made him even a fraction less sad.

“Do you… want me to leave?”

**

He hadn’t meant the words to hurt her... Or maybe he had. He was a mess of conflicting impulses, and that same small part of him still wanted to - just a little bit. To make her feel, in some vague, ill-defined way, the same way he had these last several months - guilty, lonely, desperately searching for answers... She was the one who went back to her boyfriend. She was the one who kissed him first. It was easy to convince himself that she held all the cards, and to want her to suffer for it. But in actuality, the feeling wasn’t nearly as satisfying as he would have hoped. He kissed her back. He escalated things. And the next morning, he still hopped on a plane and moved half a world away from her. He still cared for her, and that meant never wanting to be the cause of any pain. 

“Don’t-” his hand reached out across the table to hold her on instinct, the first physical contact between them in months, “-don’t apologize. I don’t think I could handle you apologizing.” Her apologizing would mean it was all a mistake, and while he could pretend it hadn’t happened, he didn’t think he could pretend regretting it. “I just- let’s not complicate things, yeah? Maybe some things are better left unsaid.”  

[lachlan-peters-archive]

devilthcughts​: 

“Hmm,” Skylar hummed in response, as if she was pondering the question. She wanted to see why Leona chose this man to one of her closest friends, so curiosity beckoned her and she sat at his table as soon as the thought entered her mind. “Don’t like getting blood on me, so I just get other people to do it,” she said dryly, completely robotic. Cool, calm, and collected was the way, though she kept herself on guard just in case any hospital employees entered the coffee shop. “I don’t know if I can trust you to do that, bud. You look like the kinda idiot that’ll ramble himself into fifteen years of jail for stealing a loaf of Wonderbread.”

**

Her assessment wasn’t exactly wrong, and it unnerved him slightly she seemed to have such a good read on him. “Well, I’ve seen Les Mis, so I’d like to think I’m too smart to get myself into that kind of situation in the first place,” he hedged, sipping at his hot chocolate. He couldn’t tell whether it was just his own insecurities at play here, but he got the sense he was being judged and suddenly wished he’d remembered some other form of entertainment. “But since I’m already apparently paying with my life for this cause, can I at least know why you’ve been banned from this establishment?” 

[lachlan-peters-archive]

feidavenport​: 

Fei suddenly couldn’t breathe. Her head was spinning, and her mind was reeling, and she could feel her heart beating in her throat, as though it were trying to escape the prison of her ribcage, to go where it had always belonged: with him. He said he was leaving a piece of his heart with her, and the word leaving echoed, bouncing off the corners of her now-empty chest.

It was now or never. 

Now was not the right time, of course. It had never been the right time. They’d always just barely missed each other, blinking and missing the right time if it ever had appeared. Ships passing in the night, or whatever. But now, at literally the last possible moment, Fei no longer cared about the right time. She didn’t care whether their ships crashed or sank as long as they were together. She couldn’t let him pass her by again. Now was the only time.

She didn’t have to think about it, her body did it all for her. Before she could even blink or breathe, she pulled him to her and kissed him. In the split second before their lips touched, she thought maybe she’d feel nothing. Just the soft, safe, comfortable friendship she’d always felt with him. Maybe that was all there was for them, no spark at all… but at least they would know. At least then he could go to Washington and she could stay here, and they could maybe miss each other a little less, and it would be fine.

But the second they kissed, she melted. The thousand thoughts in her head, all the what-ifs and what-abouts, quieted down.  She could breathe again, all her muscles relaxed, and her heart went back to its resting place. Like everything else with Lachlan, kissing him felt like coming home. Like living. Like love.

She lingered a moment before reluctantly pulling away. Leaving only a few inches between their noses, she looked into his eyes, memorizing them. She said nothing, leaving whatever happened next up to him.

**

It was dangerous territory. They had skirted this line more times than he could count, but at the last moment, someone always stepped back. He’d make a joke, or she’d fake a laugh, and they’d shake it off like some fluke of a moment that just. kept. happening. They were both earnest by nature - two big-hearted fools who felt things too intensely; being friends like they were was bound to get... confusing. Mixed signals. Crossed wires. But eventually sense always won out. 

He waited for that other shoe to drop - for her to cough and look away or his mouth to open compulsively and words to spill out - but it never came. Maybe it was the reverence of this - their final moment - but nothing seemed to stand in their way. Not the alcohol or the dwindling crowd, and certainly not each other. He blinked, and suddenly, her lips were on his. 

Her breath tasted of nachos, beer, and the cake they’d eaten earlier. Sweet, and a little sour, but somehow unmistakably Fei. His eyes flitted closed, and instinct kicked in, as though kissing her were the most natural thing in the world. 

It was soft and tender and all too soon, she was pulling away, and his eyes flicked open to meet hers. Her pupils looked blown, her irises almost black, and he was sure he didn’t look any better. The air was suddenly electric, magnified, like gravity had shifted and now the center of the universe was her. “That was...” he trailed off, not able to come up with an adequate word in his stupefied state. “I think...” Maybe the words would come easier if he tried it again. Maybe - no thought could complete as he was pulled back into her gravitation pull and kissed her again. 

His arms circled tighter around her waist, pulling her closer into him, any amount of distance between them seeming too much. His mouth moved with hers for a purpose, seeking something she alone could provide him. 

[lachlan-peters-archive]

dustinemmerson​: 

“Good to know. I’ll avoid Indian food on any roomie dinner nights,” she promised, chuckling softly. She could tolerate some of the spiced up foods, though any real heat would have her crying almost immediately if she tried to eat it. “I…hm. I don’t know, nothing specific. I’m pretty open to trying anything. And of course, put anything you want in there. I’m not like one of those vegans that’s like against all meat and cheese. Lowkey I kind of miss it all, honestly.” She wanted Lachlan to feel at home as much as he could there, it was his shared space now. She didn’t have any ties to the apartment, happy to open it up to any changes Lachlan wanted to make.

Head dropping down with a laugh, Dustin lifted her shoulders. “I’m…a total wimp and loud noises freak me out. Jump scares will get me literally every time, so I don’t watch them often. Sometimes with my family when they decide to torture me and I end up hiding behind my brother,” she admitted with a shake of her head. Dustin could watch any psychological horror film, they didn’t ever really unsettle her. It was the jump scares that would have her screaming. “I think I kind of lucked out, that sort of thing doesn’t get to me at least. It’s…more the real life horror type films that freak me out. Serial killer movies and stuff like that, things that could…really genuinely happen, totally can’t handle those.” Dustin had dealt with enough real life trauma to know it was out there and that it could get you at any moment.

**

“See, that’s much more rational!” he joked. That wasn’t exactly his M.O. - or hadn’t been with any regularity, at least. He supposed it made sense, though. Dustin was a scientist, she dealt with intricate reality; his world was much more about thoughts, feelings, and subjective truths. He would always be the product of his upbringing - despite his general nonchalance towards the tenets of Christianity now, it still made him nervous to take the Lord’s name in vain. Things like ghosts and possessions... He maintained a healthy skepticism, but he could never rule out that niggling ‘what if...’ 

“Okay, so horror’s out. What about... Kong vs Godzilla?” It was the only recent release he could think of, and the kind of mindless fair that was good when the real point wasn’t the movie. “You find something to order?” 

[landryleona]

OPEN STARTER

She blamed her lifelong love of movies for her fear of sharks. The ocean wasn’t off limits, exactly – but there was a long list of places Leona would go first. The aquarium seemed nice and safe – until she got to the shark exhibit. More accurately, she got to the hallway labeled ‘shark exhibit,’ and now she was half-pacing just outside of it. “We’re safe. I mean, that glass has got to be super thick, right?” She asked, looking at the person nearest to her, brows knitted together in a gentle pleading. “Right?” 

[lachlan-peters-archive]

“Sure, I looked up the statistics. They only lost, like, 15 people here last year. Our odds are good,” he said with mock-reassurance. He couldn’t help but find it mildly amusing whenever Leona was scared - this was a woman who would gleefully camp out at a haunted mansion, but trained sharks made her fall to pieces. 

[lachlan-peters-archive]

devilthcughts​: 

a short and sweet starter open to everybody @crescentstarters​

location: somewhere that sells coffee within a few blocks of the hospital

“If the hospital coffee wasn’t such shit, I would not be here,” Skylar mumbled out toward the other person while taking a sip of freshly brewed coffee. Having to use her non-dominant hand felt like an out of body experience and she wasn’t sure what to make of it.  Except that she loathed it with her entire being. Her left arm was currently immobilized in a sling, a bright pink cast covering the entirety of her wrist. “Also, I’m really not supposed to be here at all, as in I was under strict orders.” She slightly rolled her eyes, hating being told what to do.  So this was her way of being spiteful, the good coffee simply an added bonus. “But – two can keep a secret if one is dead or something like that…”

**

Lachlan had been recruited to bring his father to his latest chemo appointment, and had decided to hang out at the coffee shop down the street instead of the waiting room which, honestly, put him a bit on edge. He’d stupidly forgotten to bring a book or anything besides his phone to distract him, so was glad for the conversation instead. “Is this your way of saying you’re going to kill me?” he asked teasingly. “Because I can promise to keep my mouth shut - it’ll probably be less messy...” 

[lachlan-peters-archive]

cristinavaldes​: 

Cristina adored the nights where she could go out and listen to people do slam poetry or their own rendition of a song. Most people had their focus on the performances and it felt like a positive ambiance for the most part. They had more courage than she did. “Me?” The brunette shook her head dismissively. “I don’t think I’d ever be able to work up the courage to do that despite the amount of money in my system.” She wasn’t the one who demanded attention and preferred to remain on the sidelines. “What about you? Are you thinking of going up?”

**

“Oh hell no,” he scoffed. “I’m completely tone deaf and devoid of musical talent. I tried playing the flute in middle school band, but the teacher finally had to ask me politely to stop because I was screwing everyone else up. I played the triangle for two weeks before I finally just quit...” It was his first and last attempt at organized activities at school until college. “Okay, so barring stage fright - would you ever consider it?” 

[lachlan-peters-archive]

feidavenport​: 

She’d thought it would help. Kissing Lachlan that night. She’d wanted to do it for so long that she thought maybe it would bring closure. She’d thought she could just kiss him once and get it out of her system, and it would make it easier for him to leave. So there wouldn’t be a what-if. She hadn’t imagined it would make everything so much stronger, and harder, and sadder. That she would lose all control and be unable to stop once she started. She hadn’t imagined she could miss someone like this. Even when he was right here.

“Oh, a real lunch, mhmm. Let me guess, you’re going to crunch on dry instant ramen straight from the plastic?” This was a bit far, of course, but she honestly wouldn’t have been surprised. She knew him, and his sad lunches, and his indignant scoffs, and his goofy smile. He started on about the nosy vice principal and the entitled rich-kid students, and her heart settled a bit, as though it were finally home. 

“Nothing I can’t handle, then,” she smiled, offering him some of the donut that had originally been his. “God, I can’t wait to hear all the juicy rumors that are going to spread about us.” It wasn’t until this had been spoken aloud and was out in the room that she realized that this might be an actual problem they could run into.

**

Friendship with Fei had always felt natural; from the moment they met, it was like they somehow fit together - their senses of humor, their world views, their morals... They just aligned in a way that felt effortless. Now, however, it felt more like a delicate dance, only he’d lost the rhythm and forgotten the steps. This fragile peace existed in a paper-thin bubble, and one false move could cause the whole thing to burst. 

The comment about rumors felt vague threatening in that light, and he waited a beat too long to respond, as though waiting for the fallout or for the walls around them to collapse. He’d heard some of the gossip going around in Boston, colleagues who would playfully nudge him asking ‘when are you going to hit that?’ It’d been easier to laugh off at the time, but considering everything now, he wasn’t sure he could stomach it. “We should probably... do our best to quash those before they get started, right?” he said finally, awkwardly. “Just- you and Nick, professional environment and all...”

[lachlan-peters-archive]

dustinemmerson​: 

“I don’t know about noble. It’s kind of a pain, honestly,” she admitted with a sheepish laugh. There had been plenty of times in recent months that Dustin had considered just calling it quits on it, but every time she did it felt like almost a failure of what she’d set out to do at the start. “Are there any foods you don’t eat?” Dustin asked, lifting her eyes from his phone. It felt like an important thing to know about her new roommate. Food preferences, allergies, all of it mattered when living in a shared space and likely sharing food at times. Dustin was a little more particular than most people were, while Lachlan seemed like the exact opposite, which she could appreciate in the man.

Her cheeks were a light shade of pink now after stumbling so obviously over everything she’d been trying to say. Thankfully, Lachlan didn’t ask and didn’t fault her for it, letting her much more quickly settle the nerves that had burst forth. “Lach is good. I can go with that. I don’t really have any nicknames? Dusty, I guess, some people call me that.” Mostly her mothers and her siblings. Outside of that, it was usually far more formal in the work environment. “What’s new it is. I can watch anything. I guess I like action movies? Or uh…cheesy rom coms are always good. Historical stuff. Documentaries. Anything sciencey. Sci-fi even.”  It was a slew of answers, but movies were something Dustin was rather open on since she watched them so rarely.

**

“Can’t say I’m fond of Indian food. It’s the spices, mainly - I think my stomach’s just... weak,” he shrugged lamely. His family was a real ‘meat and potatoes’ type whose idea of ethnic food was Italian. The first time he tried Cajan food with the Landry’s blew his freaking mind... “What about you? I mean, besides meat, cheese, and dairy? Are you cool that I put those in the fridge, by the way? Because if you need me to move them, I can find somewhere else.” He still felt acutely aware that he was invading Dustin’s space, not the other way around. 

“I notice horror is noticeably absent from that list,” he teased. “You not into those?” He wouldn’t blame her if she wasn’t. He could sit through them, but he was the sort who got easily startled. “I mean, I get it. I remember seeing The Exorcist at a friend’s house when I was 14. And keep in mind, I was a Pastor’s kid. I was so traumatized, I barely slept for a month after. And I couldn’t tell my parents either because they forbade me from seeing it so... I think they were worried I was getting into drugs...” 

[lachlan-peters-archive]

—Open Starter (0/4) Location: Repercussions @crescentstarters​

It was open mic night, and the offerings were just about as mixed as one could expect given the stage was open to the general public. But the food and drinks were good - and offered at Happy Hour discounts all night - and the last act wasn’t half bad, so Lachlan was happy. With the next act still in the process of setting up, he turned to his companion. “So, how many more drinks d’you think it’d take for you to consider going up there?” 

[lachlan-peters-archive]

feidavenport​: 

Fei closed her eyes, resting her cheek on his chest, and tried to feel badly about asking him to stay. She knew it meant asking him to choose her over his family, and she didn’t want that… But she still couldn’t regret asking. No matter what else she felt or wanted, it would be overpowered right now by her need to just… keep him.

She could hear his heartbeat now, and decided with drunken certainty that if she couldn’t hear his heartbeat, he was too far away. This would be a rule now, forever.

“Oh,” she said quietly, pulling back - just a little - just for a moment. “I almost forgot…” She reached into her pocket and hesitated. “Promise not to laugh. It’s cheesy, but just shut up about it, okay?” She smirked and pulled out a bracelet, made of strands of colored leather (his favorite and hers) braided together. “It’s very summer camp, I know, but… I just don’t want you to forget about me.”

She took his hand in both of hers and tied the bracelet around his wrist, showing him as she did, the matching one on her own. Somewhere in her mind, she knew she should let go of his hand afterward, but she didn’t. Her mind must have known that she shouldn’t reach up to run her thumb along his cheek, but for some reason, she did. If her brain was present at all tonight, it would have let her know that memorizing his face like she was trying to do now wouldn’t keep him here.

“Why do I already miss you?” she said, not sure whether to laugh or cry.

**

Lachlan was acutely aware that life was just a series of choices. He often wondered about his, and about the different directions his life might have taken him. There was a life where he hadn’t gotten caught up in a lie - a simpler one, maybe, but one where he never made it anywhere close to Boston. There was a life where he’d caught all the signs and managed to save Emilie’s life, one easier and less burdened by loss, but one that also left him aimless and lost. And there was one where he and Fei had got the timing right, where he’d worked up the courage to tell her exactly how he felt and she somehow, miraculously, felt the same way. 

Right now, he’d do anything to live in that world, instead of this one, where it already felt like she was slipping through his fingertips. 

The corners of his mouth turned up in a sad, fond smile as he watched her tie the friendship bracelet around his wrist. It was very summer camp, but it was also very them - silly and sweet and completely unpretentious - and he wouldn’t have had it any other way.  Their friendship was easy; it was everything else that was hard. “Like I could forget you even if I wanted to...” He’d meant it to sound like a joke, but it came out something more like heartbreakingly earnest. 

With their hands intertwined and the alcohol in his system making everything hazy and warm, he could make believe, just for a moment, that they were in their own world where time had stopped. He leaned into her hand on his cheek, his own hand coming up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear unconsciously. He couldn’t remember if he’d ever done it before, or if he’d just always wanted to, but in this moment, he chose not to second guess it. 

“It must be because I already miss you, too,” he replied, the subtext replacing ‘miss’ with ‘love.’ Of course he loved her; he’d even told her that many times, but... never as something deeper. Never the way he thought he truly meant it. “I’m leaving a piece of my heart here. Take care of it, will ya?” 

[lachlan-peters-archive]

feidavenport​: 

She could feel his eyes on her, but she didn’t dare look up. She knew she wouldn’t be able to look away if she did, and things were already weird enough without her staring longingly at him across a table and a half-eaten donut. It was a really good donut, she had to admit, but it wasn’t nearly good enough to warrant how intently she was staring at it now.

‘I missed you too,’ he said, and it sounded so exactly like it had in her daydreams that she had to look up to see if he’d really said it. And he had. She knew, because now that she was finally looking at him she could see it in his eyes that he had. Unfortunately, it kind of just intensified the nameless pain she felt. 

Pretend it never happened. Go back to normal. What the fuck did any of that even mean? Chalking it up to emotions, she could do. Maybe not in the way he meant, but she was very aware that her actions were entirely led by her feelings. Her mind had not been present at all that night, only her heart. (And her body, too, but she couldn’t think about that now or she’d blush.)

Normal, she supposed, was the two of them being best friends. Making each other laugh, and keeping each others’ secrets, and being each others’ home. Maybe only that first one was plausible, now. She could no longer tell him everything, because all the complicated emotions she felt, and heated arguments she’d had, and impulsive decisions she’d made since he left… it was all because of him, and how do you tell somebody that? Going backwards didn’t seem possible, but going forward felt like driving in the dark with no headlights.

“Boston sucked without you, too,” she said. “As I knew it would. So, tell me everything I missed here. Who’s nice and who’s mean? Students or staff. I should be prepared. Also, please tell me this donut isn’t your lunch… and not only because I am currently eating it.” She smiled, doing her best at Normal.

It was telling how quickly and desperately they both wanted to slot back into old patterns. For him, it was a testament to just how much he’d always held back - for all their supposed honesty, it felt natural to suppress this one little secret, to deny its existence until he barely even noticed it. He supposed he had the practice, if his recent interactions with Billie were anything to go by. He wasn’t a hero and sometimes he jerked off to a fantasy as sweet and simple as running his hands through his best friend’s hair... These were secrets he could live with; they were secrets he could take to the grave.  

And Fei, well... the fact that she was still with Nick said everything he needed to know. 

He ignored the jab of pain that fact inflicted on him, and willed himself to savor instead the fact he still had her at all. “Despite your opinions of my dietary habits - which, thank you, by the way - no, I have a real lunch,” he said with an indignant scoff. It was a bold move, considering his idea of ‘real lunch’ hadn’t changed and he already knew her opinion on that... “As far as people, steer clear of Vice Principal Higgins. She’s not mean, but she is a gossip and anything you tell her will be widely disseminated by the end of the school day. The students are 80% entitled assholes - a couple have been working me for Ritalin prescriptions which, I’ve already explained to them I'm not actually a doctor, so chances are they’ll come to you next... They’ll probably cry to their parents that they’re being denied care and you’ll get some complaints, but they get bored and it’s not like they’ve got a huge pool of eager replacements...” 

[lachlan-peters-archive]

dustinemmerson​: 

“You absolutely do not have to eat something vegan, please let yourself enjoy the food and not suffer,” Dustin chuckled, though she appreciated the effort on Lachlan’s part. She didn’t know why she was still eating a vegan diet, it had really just been a phase in college that she’d just never quite stopped. “I don’t…honestly even know why I still eat the diet. I never did it for any genuine reason, it had just been the thing to do in college. And now I’m trapped.” There was no big moral reason she’d taken up the vegan mantle, no save the planet crusade, it had just been on a whim and now Dustin just didn’t know how to quit. Something about having done it for as long as she had just made it feel weird to think about eating normal again. 

The mention of Leona’s name stopped Dustin for a moment, her head lifting towards Lachlan with a surprised lift of her brow. It was stupid that her long held high school crush on the woman still flared up any time she ran into her, a fact that Dustin had been actively avoiding as much as she could. “Oh - ah…yeah that’s…uh. I don’t…even uhm. I don’t know movies very well, so it’s…I can watch anything. Happy to skip the French New Wave. Usually I just watch like…whatever is new out and on the first page of Netflix?” Dustin didn’t spend much time watching movies or doing anything outside of work and video games, if she were being honest. Clearing her throat a bit as she let her mind settle, Dustin took the phone to gratefully look over the menu as a distraction, scanning through until she spotted something that sounded kind of good. “Thanks, Lach. Lachlan. Is…do you…is Lach okay or?”

**

“Hey, at least it’s a noble cause. I’ve been stuck in my fair share decisions I’ve come to regret, and most of them are just stupid.” He didn’t go into details, but one in particular came to mind. Veganism sounded a lot better than convincing a whole town you were some sort of hero. “I really don’t mind. I’m a true omnivore.” It came from a childhood where you ate what you were given and didn’t leave the table until the plate was clean. It had only taken one time where his father forced him to stay at the table all night for Lachlan to learn his lesson. Since then, he’d become more adventurous on his own. 

He noticed Dustin start to stumble over her words, but couldn’t be sure what had caused it. Was it his (admittedly pitiful) movie knowledge? Or maybe the mention of Leona? He couldn’t say for sure, but it filed it away for future reference. He handed over his phone and picked up bottle to pour. “Lach’s fine. I’ll respond to anything, really. Lach, Lachlan, I had a friend back in Boston who exclusively called me Latchkey...” He was, in generally, totally easy-going, and wasn’t sure if maybe he’d given Dustin some impression to the contrary. Maybe she was just nervous by nature - he couldn’t really be sure. “I’m all for the ‘what’s new’ approach. Do you have a preference of genre?” 

[lachlan-peters-archive]

feidavenport​:

who: @lachlan-peters​ what: lach’s going away party when: fall 2020 where: boston, ma

Everyone was gone, mostly. Either physically gone home or mentally gone - there were teachers and coaches littered on various surfaces, passed out from exhaustion or alcohol or both. It was a hilarious sight, and exactly the reason that no phones were allowed at this party. If any of their students ever saw them like this… Fei laughed, and also shuddered, at the thought.

She found Lachlan, fiddling with something on the food table, and came up behind him, wrapping her arms around her best friend, pressing her cheek against his back. She’d been thinking for weeks of things she could say to make him stay, but everything was selfish and awful and dumb, so she said nothing, like she did now.

The end of the night was making her nervous. Time was really running out now. Of course they’d keep in touch, they were best friends, but having a best friend who can come over at 3am when you need them to, who knows everything about you and loves you anyway, with whom you can have entire conversations with just your eyes… she didn’t think it’d translate well to a Facetime Friendship. Everything was going to be different. The stress of it (and the alcohol) made her dizzy, and she held him tighter.

“Stay with me…” she whispered, without thinking. 

**

He was already checked in for his flight the following morning, and it felt like he was now living on borrowed time. The party seemed to drag on like the week-old congealed soup he used to serve at the homeless shelter after church on Sundays - somehow runny, but with clumps of incongruous parts, all culminating in a mush that made him sick to even look at. He wanted to enjoy it, but all the goodbyes and well wishes from this wonderful cacophony of people he’d collected in his time in this city blurred together, creating one sloppy pile his gut interpreted as meaning he was making a mistake... 

No one questioned his reasons for leaving, nor had he expected them to. Family was hard argue again. He kept telling himself he was choosing to leave, and reminding himself of all that waited for him in Crescent Harbor. Leona, a new job with (slightly) better pay, his niece and nephew, his mom... His father occupied a spot a little further down, but it all rounded out to a compelling list. He needed to go, but it didn’t ease the pain of what he was leaving behind. 

The party was winding down, and soon he’d have no choice but to return to his empty apartment for one last night, to the air mattress he’d bought after he sold every piece of furniture he owned. He tried to prolong this moment just a little longer with one last drink when he felt a pair of arms wrap around his torso and a head rest against his back. 

He knew in an instant it was Fei, and he leaned instinctively into her touch. Of all the things he was leaving behind, he knew he’d miss her the most. Sure, they would keep in touch - Lachlan knew from Leona how to maintain a long-distance friendship - but he would miss all the little things, the small intimacies, the things you only noticed after spending day in and day out together. 

His heart swooped painfully low at her words, and for a second, he thought he must have misheard her. In all their conversations, she’d never tried to change his mind. It was like a secret pact, an unspoken agreement about conversations that would be too difficult - she didn’t ask him to stay, and he didn’t ask her to come with him. He turned around to face her, wrapping her up into his arms so that her head was cradled on his chest. “I wish I could.”