Keep on living;

[Main verse: Post-game Hajime Hinata] Rather than a road, our path is like an endless ocean. It could go anywhere. It might go nowhere at all.

[lacklustxr-blog]

[OOC; Short hiatus notification

Just a heads up I know I disappeared, I just have some really important things I had to focus on for a while. I’m sorting them all out and will be back the first week of May!

In case you were wondering that’s also why I’ve been so flaky and distracted lately. A lot of stress and real life stuff piling up and a lot of apathy on my part.

My mood is worlds better than it was before. I’m feeling so much better, and now that I’m feeling better I have some important life stuff to attend to that I’ve been ignoring for a while.

So excuse my super brief hiatus, but I want to get things sorted out that have been stressing me out. Thank you all so much for being understanding!

I’m excited to come back and not only be feeling better when I do but have a lot less stuff to worry about in general. Anyway, I hope everyone I follow and who follows me has a great week, and I’m going to do some cheering up on my own later, maybe I can post about it here and you all can join?}

[lxckandgxmes-deactivated2015062]

“Really, it’s fine. I mean, there is a reason behind it, but there’s nothing we can really do to fix it…”

Komaeda paused before falling silent again, shaking his head slightly. Perhaps I’ve said too much. After a couple moments of silence he turned his attention to the other once more. 

“Be honest with me, Hinata-kun. Is there a reason you’re up this late, as well? It’s just as you said, too little sleep isn’t very good for you. And you tend to work so hard, so it’s a little worrying...”

[lacklustxr-blog]

With his hands shoved in the pockets of his pajamas he let out a long sigh. There really was no harm in confiding in someone. Even if that someone was him. 

“There has to be an equal exchange here. If I confide in you, you have to do the same, fair?” He felt like there should be some sort of official handshake on it but kept his hands firmly in his pockets.

After all that is the basis of understanding. Confiding in others, creating bonds, not feeling so alone in this world.

[hopearcade-blog]

The trick is to listen for the beeps. It’s just like a real pet… probably.

[lacklustxr-blog]

I’ve never.... had a real dog beep at me. I don’t think pets work that way. 

Hey, but I did find this at the Market. Do you think Komaeda will like it? It’s not exactly a dog but it’s the only one they have.

[lxckandgxmes-deactivated2015062]

“Hmm… Sort of. I mean, it does happen more often than not…”

The luckster gave a faint shrug, chuckling sheepishly. “It’s… Not really anything to worry about, I wouldn’t think.“ Of course, there were other things that kept him up, as well, but he didn’t say so. “Ah… Well, I don’t normally get up at night. Usually I just wait it out until morning, if it’s really that bad. In other cases I end up finally falling asleep again at some point.”

[lacklustxr-blog]

Everything he said next was only the most hypocritical things he could possibly say.

       > “That’s not good for you” As if he as one to talk about good night habits. 

       > “You know there are doctors here you can speak to about that.” As if he had gone to speak to one himself about his own bad sleeping habits.

       > “You shouldn’t keep everything so bottled up.” As if he wasn’t doing the same thing.

When they finally set foot on the beach he leaned down to roll the legs of his pajamas up, it was bad enough his feet were sandy. There’s no way he’d get back to sleep with sand coating his pajamas. 

[hopearcade-blog]

I don’t mean a real one, see? 

[An Icon popped up on the bottom of her desktop of what looked like a small dog. Soon enough there was a small digital version of a golden retriever making its way across the screen.]

…His luck probably wouldn’t let him own a real dog anyway. It’s a virtual pet.

[lacklustxr-blog]

Nanami that’s actually... a really good idea!

What were those things called... Uh- Tamagotchi’s? I used to have a bunch of them as a kid when they were popular. Most of them ended up dying when I forgot about them. 

I’m sure Komaeda would be a lot better at taking care of one than I was.

[lacklustxr-blog]

hopearcade replied to your post:Komaeda’s birthday is in a few days. What the...

“… what about a dog? He has talked about one before.”

-- I don’t think I’ve ever seen a dog at Rocket Punch Market. I’m pretty limited with present buying here.

[lacklustxr-blog]

Komaeda’s birthday is in a few days.

What the heck does someone like him even like?

[komaedas]

***

[nevrophilia-archive-deactivated]

As if the suggestion is completely unreasonable, Yasuke pulls his attention away from his manga to give a good, hard look at the brunette before snorting in contempt.

“… Calm down. This is an introductory lecture. Unless you plan on taking notes on everyone’s name, I’d suggest you lighten up. But you’re right. I’m a main course student. I guess you’re smarter than you look.” He nods toward the brunette’s notebook, “If you’re still so intent on taking notes, my name is Yasuke Matsuda.” He gathers that this Hajime person was definately out of his element. His gaze wanders to take in the other’s appearance. He sits tall and proud, adorned in the school’s emblem, as if to make an obvious statement. He seems confident, and taking into consideration how prestigious this school is and his position in it, that may be rightfully so. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t look ridiculous. From the notebooks, to the nice bag, and the pressed and tidy uniform, he can tell he comes from money. He couldn’t help but wonder what a person like that would feel in this situation? How many people have walked by him thinking the same thing about this poor sap? He shifts in his seat slightly, pulling the manga back up to his face as he speaks. “Your name is Hajime Hinata, right? What’s with that getup, anyway? Who did you have to rob to get all of that?”

[lacklustxr-blog]

   “Y-yeah, I’m Hajime.”

      He faltered for a moment. Lips set in a hard line as he set the notebook down in front of himself. He was sure they were going to go over some of the basic school rules as well, and those were well worth writing down in his opinion. Someone with a manga shoved in front of their face during introductions probably wasn’t the epitome of a model student he should take advice from anyway.

  One thing was correct though, he should probably relax.

Relax  

         Relax  

                    Relax….

   It seemed so easy for this guy, so why was his own heart-rate through the roof? He just had a habit of worrying in unfamiliar situations until he knew everything in and out. The danger and the safety. The good and the bad. With a sigh he gripped his pencil a little tighter. Since they were till only introducing the students, now was as good a time as any to get a better look at this other kid even was.

   A plain white button up shirt, only loosely tucked in on one side, a tie sloppily done around his neck, and- wait was he not even wearing dress shoes?

Was he…. serious?

“Are- are you commenting on my outfit? I think my mom has those same sandals for gardening…”

[kiyohaku-deactivated20150611]

lacklustxr started following you

[kiyohaku-deactivated20150611]

“ Huh? Still alive? “ 

She blinks once. Twice. ( Not thrice. ) Her body was still, her head then tilts mechanically. 

“ Ah- – -.. That’s so annoying. I wanted Izuru to live– not you. You’re the worthless version of him. The waste of space version. At least Komaeda had more use than you. His luck is actually real. “ 

“ Unlike your talent. –Which is none. —Ha, whatever. Make it quick. Your face alone is boring me. I can feel my insides peeling themselves from boredom. “

[lacklustxr-blog]

He could say the exact same thing about her- huh!? Still alive!?

And still spouting the same practiced brainwashing filth she as spouting before. He reached to his head to touch the spot where his surgery scar- slowly fading but still pronounced- right below his hairline.

   > Disgusting....

    > Even more disgusting than Izuru.

At least he came to accept Izuru, no matter how disgusted with himself he was as a whole.

“Well I’m flattered that despite how boring and talentless I am you take the time out of your busy schedule to talk to me.”

All sarcasm and hate intended. But after the initial bravery, he let out a shaky breath-

“I-I’m not letting myself be tampered with anymore. So there’s no reason for you to bother with me anymore.”

[kamvkura-blog]

@lacklustxr

It was rare to see Hajime around school these days. Izuru doesn’t know exactly why this thought comes to him out of the blue; it should be no surprise. Though he is normally not one to concern himself with the feelings of others, the well being of his twin raises question. But for what reason? Hajime is well aware of taking care of himself, so Izuru brushes this off as an interrupting thought, as he often does. 

This doesn’t stop him from occasionally passing by the main gates as he makes his way to his dorm after classes have ended, fueled by a small shred of hope that their paths will cross. As expected, a familiar spiked head catches his eye. Izuru expects very little from any encounter they may share other than a bit of awkward small talk, yet his legs seem to move on his own, pushing through crowds of students until he is mere feet away from his own flesh and blood. 

“It’s been awhile, hasn’t it.” He speaks confidently, though it feels as if he is addressing a stranger.

[lacklustxr-blog]

Hajime knew the rhythm of the library all too well. Someone was always at the table next to his, licking their finger and turning a page, The tapping of keys on a dimly lit laptop. The stamp of the librarian checking out books to the ever studious reserve course students.  The slow lull of the printer as it spat out page upon page of study guides he knew he’d spend hours slaving over later this week.

Needless to say he never left the building without looking a little worse for wear. Still walking tall however, still wearing the Hopes Peak crest like a badge of honor thrust upon him.  Even so, the second he exited the building, a stack of papers in one hand and the other hand rubbing at his eyes as they slowly adjusted themselves to the normal light of day- the badge of so-called honor felt like little to nothing when he heard a voice just behind him speak up

               “It’s been awhile, hasn’t it.”

Not entirely too long. He thought to himself but didn’t speak his mind. He wasn’t that kind of person to be rude towards a greeting. What was that feeling that overcame him whenever he happened to cross paths with Izuru?

Jealously. Envy. Resentment. Bitterness.

“Yeah it’s been a while.” He caught a stray piece of paper before the wind tried to carry it away. Pressing it back into place with the other pieces of his study guide, he opened his mouth again. He supposed this was the part where they make small talk and part ways.

“Your classes- they’re okay?” Well of course they were okay. He was damn near a genius. What a stupid question....

[lxckandgxmes-deactivated2015062]

“Hm… Well, not particularly. Just having a restless night, I suppose. That tends to happen sometimes..” 

Right? Well, in his case, he didn’t really feel like sharing what had really kept him awake, either. If the other didn’t say anything, why should he? He wasn’t even sure if the other was aware what was truly wrong with him, and he didn’t feel like sharing. I doubt he’d think any differently even if he did know.. Or would he? It’s hard to tell with him.

[lacklustxr-blog]

He couldn’t help but let a small grin grace his features for a moment. It clashed terribly with the bags under his eyes.    

He knew Komaeda was a more... private person, and even if something was troubling him, he probably wouldn’t say so that easily. But the basis of a mutual understanding, and maybe even someday, a friendship, only came when two people were honest with each other. He learned that much from being on this island. That didn’t stop him from being cautious, but when he really thought about it, what would Komaeda do with that information?- That nightmares have been a problem for him lately. There really wasn’t anything harmful he could think of right off the bat.

Maybe he’d ease into it slowly...

“Are restless nights a habit then?” Halfway to the beach he realized he forgot shoes, and he could tell they were getting close from the sand starting to creep up onto the main path and annoyingly in between his toes, “In that case I’m surprised I haven’t run into you more often in the middle of the night.”

[thegirloflittlewords]

[lxckandgxmes-deactivated2015062]

Slightly surprised by the other’s offer, he hesitated only briefly before giving a slight nod, slowly standing up and walking after the other. “Well, since you offered… Who am I to turn it down?” His voice was soft, yet there was an edge of fatigue to it. Apparently the luckster hadn’t slept very well that night so far, either. “I’m… A bit surprised you want to walk with someone like me, however..”

[lacklustxr-blog]

    ”...Don’t misunderstand this.” The second he had has his back turned to the lucky student, he shoved his hands into the pockets of his pajama pants and slowed down his pace. There was no rush after all. 

    Once again his replies were slow. Where was he even going with this? Why would he ask someone like Komaeda on a walk with him? After everything that happened there was still the fact that Hinata wanted to understand all of his classmates. Yes, even Komaeda. 

And...the only other available ‘person’ was Nanami, and well, she was an AI. It’s hard to bring a computer out for a walk without a power source. Komaeda on the other hand didn’t need a power source.  Although currently, he did look a little worse for wear.

    “You were awake too,” going back to the boys first question, “I could be asking the same thing. So, is something the matter?”

    Komaeda didn’t need to know about his nightmares anyway.

[lacklustxr-blog]

lxckandgxmes​

Nightmare RP starters. ★ Your muse finds my muse in the room next door after your muse had a nightmare.

“Hm…” He wasn’t quite asleep, but he was close. He was only about half asleep, and yet he couldn’t seem to doze off fully. I wonder why that is? With a restless sigh, he sat up slightly, gingerly running his fingers through his messy hair. His weary gaze flicked around the room, freezing when he spotted something approaching in the darkness. “…?” As they drew closer, he relaxed slightly when he recognized the other, though he didn’t look so good. “… Hinata-kun? Is something the matter?”

     It was another sleepless night. Well, not entirely sleepless. In fact he had gotten to sleep- briefly.... if that even counted. He didn’t know how many nightmares this brought the total up to, but eventually he stopped the mental count in his head. 

    Work. That’s it, he’d just work it off. If he was working he wasn’t thinking. And with a powerful resolve to do just that, he sat up in bed, ran a hand through his hair, still slick and sweaty from the fevered nightmare he just woke up from, and swung his feet over the side of the bed. 

     A walk before sitting down to work would probably do wonders. Just a quick walk to the beach and back. Some fresh air.

      He didn’t know how that walk brought him to stop right in front of Komaeda’s cabin, or why the other boy was even awake to see him in the dark as he approached his door, but right as he was caught he thought it was a bad idea. Visiting Komaeda was always a bad idea and in the back of his mind he always knew this to be an infallible truth, and yet he was always somehow drawn to talking with the very person who was ‘a bad idea’

   His sleepless mind made him register Komaeda’s words entirely too slowly. And for a moment after Komaeda spoke he just stood there, before taking a deep breath and pointing in the general direction of the beach, 

    “Would you like to take a walk with me?”

[lacklustxr-blog]

[Some random post despair Hinata headcanons]

✖ Hinata is regularly plagued by nightmares. To avoid them or push them to the back of his mind he devotes himself to work. Sometimes overworking himself to the point where he stays up for days at a time. Sleeplessness is also a side effect of some of the medications he’s on. 

✖ There are certain places on the Island he cannot visit anymore. Even if that particular student has woken up, he can’t help but see the afterimage of their dead lifeless body in the place where they had ‘died’. 

✖ Hinata is currently on medication for anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder, general pain killers, and strong migraine medication. Upon waking from the simulation, Hinata has also found himself plagued with strong migraines that pop up frequently. 

✖ There is still a strong connection between himself and Izuru Kamukura that even the best doctors of the Future Foundation haven’t figured out yet. While he lives and accepts himself as Hajime Hinata, there is absolutely no undoing the affects of Neural surgery. Once a brain has been tampered with, what’s done is done. 

✖ For this reason, Hinata’s full affiliation with the Future Foundation as a member is heavily pending, and until his connection to Izuru Kamukura is understood, it’s highly unlikely the higher ups would allow him into their ranks. As expected, those murder charges scare the shit out of them. And what they don’t understand scares them even more. 

✖ Hinata still strives to prove himself to the Foundation even though his membership is unlikely.

✖ You can only see Hinata’s surgery scars if you look at his neck right where his hair ends and around his ears. (Look up ‘brain surgery scars if you’re not squeamish sometime!) 

[thequotidianindie]

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Afraid - The Neighborhood

When I wake up I’m afraid, somebody else might take my place When I wake up I’m afraid, somebody else might take my place