The first Mother’s Day with out my mom. Like... years of a troubled relationship seems so far away. We never got along. We were toxic to each other in a lot of ways. But her last 6 months after diagnoses were so much better. We got along better. We had better discussions. And while it didn’t fix everything, it was nice. And then January came. And she’s gone now. I don’t know how to feel. I’m so lost. It doesn’t help her birthday is Tuesday. I hope I stay busy at work Tuesday. I don’t think it’ll be a good day for me. Thank god today was a Sunday. Getting high as hell and watching shitty tv all day was nice.















