[ichorknight]

driving my chevy to the levee today

[ichorknight]

what the fuck

[penandinkprincess]

"Why must we Madonna/whore the vegetables?" is a phrase I just felt super glue itself in my lexicon immediately

[fontana-michael]

My favorite scene in any Hammer film ever is the climax of The Horror of Dracula when Dracula sticks his head in the basement and just hisses at Van Helsing for the sole purpose of being a dick.

[hereissomething]

[oneheadtoanother]

[podcastwizard]

every day i walk into work and my manager says “here is the rule you must enforce” and i go “got it bossman” and i spend a couple days enforcing the rule and then my manager comes up to me and says “why are you enforcing the rule? we changed the rule yesterday and didn’t tell you” and i go “ok bossman new rule it is” and then a customer comes in asking to break the new rule and i say “sorry you can’t it’s the rule” and they say “but you don’t understand the rule doesn’t apply to me” and then my manager comes out and says “they’re right the rule doesn’t apply to them” and i ask why and my manager says “it just doesn’t.” and then the next day we get rid of the rule entirely and no one remembered it existed in the first place.

anyway this sounds like a metaphor for neurodivergence or something but it’s not this is just my fucking life

[terrestrial-gills]

Recently learned about green dragon tail butterflys, absolutely beautiful buggos that deserve to be known.

[errorschacha]

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[aromanticduck]

I find it kind of stupid how 'half full' vs 'half empty' is framed as an optimist/pessimist thing. If it starts full and gets halfway drained, it's half empty. If it starts empty and gets halfway filled, it's half full. If you don't know the starting state it's both simultaneously.

[theshape0fpunktocome]

(Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal by Zach Weinersmith)

[squeakitties]

[squeakitties]

[thecaptainkindofgirl]

My dad works at Home Depot and this one customer came in trying to return a lawnmower that wouldn’t start. Another employee asked the customer if he had put any gas in it and the customer was outraged, yelling that they should have told him it needed gas (it was in the manual) and the employee told him “Well it doesn’t run on hopes and dreams, sir.” That pissed the guy off more so he called the manager all “Can you believe this guy!? He told me it doesn’t run on hopes and dreams!” and the manager just said “Well, it doesn’t.”

[cafffine]

woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.

[rumplefuckingstiltzkin]

Ebeneezer in 1742 wakes with a start as for some reason he has put out his guttering candle by slapping atop it with the palm of his hand. His hand is burned and his nightgown and cap are spattered with hot wax.

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[marlinspirkhall]

13 years ago I tried to choke my alarm clock to death and then shook it until the battery fell out, which is the caveman solution to that problem

[marlinspirkhall]

#I guess that means a cave man confidently slapped the head of someone trying to wake them up - @argentleif

Grug says five more minutes

[notjusthespongenextdoor]

For a city to be walkable. It must also be sittable.

[notjusthespongenextdoor]

#every time I read this phrase the same thing happens#I read it as shittable and go wait that can't be right#oh right they were talking about public benches that makes more sense#but public bathrooms available without fees should also be a thing tho#cities should definitely be shittable#it happens EVERY SINGLE TIME

it must also be shittable

[prettyasapic]

This year’s Met Gala theme is so funny, it’s literally just

(And yet someone WILL fuck it up by wearing AI)

[thisishowyoumakemovies]

Important history, numbers, analysis, and insight.

[kroovv]

Please enjoy this snail measuring tape i got at a garadge sale today

[jessaerys]

[listens to horrible news about our fascist world] [opens my little locket with a picture of flint in it] ohhh james do you have any words of comfort for me

captain flint: if no one remembers a time before there was an england then no one can imagine a time after it the empire survives in part because we believe its survival to be inevitable but it isn't and they know that that's why they're so terrified of you and i

[mollyjames]

Always embarrassing realizing you don't know basic facts about your friends. Like yeah hey, here's this person I love dearly, I've known them for 23 years, we've been through so much together. They're currently working in a lab.... developing... medicine? and also getting a PhD. I think. Don't ask me what subject.