Lady Lycany

When I say I'm a Wifwolf, I don't mean the monster out of horrormovies, but a Faoladh. A Wolf in a human shaped body, who loves the nature, is extremely caring and protective for family & friends, yet still has anger management issues, that can make me mean and short tempered.

[lady-lycany]

Pinned Post 🌙

Name : Þóra⚡

Age : 26 (Feb.01.2000) ♒

I'm from: Germany

Actual Werewolf (Faoladh), Fictionkin (Spirit), Dingohearted, some other things that I don't really have figured out yet

I'm an otherkin since I can remember. I never really have considered myself as human. My family only knew me crawling on all fours through the house and pretending I was their pet. But the real awakening I had around 2011-2012. The otherkin community I found not too long ago (I think 2021?) and never felt so understood before. I always was alone with this whole wolf thing. Even tho some friends knew about it, they called me childish and didn't really take it serious (but I still am very greatful for lots of meaningful wolfkin memories, I made with them! Some of the best memories I have) My subspecies seems to be a forever mystery cuz my fur color varies from white, to black/golden, to brown/white/black (current state). I'm more of a domesticated wolf, but that doesn't change that I'm still a wild animal (#AngerIssues).

I'm an Omega btw. I have always been the submissive pup, who's incapable of standing strong for myself (In reallife at least. On the internet, I'm a lil' bit tougher). But I would do anything for my packmates. I protect them at any cost! Also, I always try to cheer my loved ones up, as best as I can.

● Instagram Account: transparent.fur

● Second Blog: @an-otherworldly-journal

My second blog is for nature photography and life seen by a faoladhs point of view

Pictures of my (Were-)wolf form:

(pics are not drawn by me. I just colored and edited them)

Some other Infos;

Over the last years, I became very aware of my surroundings and my own feelings. Like a tiny spiritual awakening.

Religiously I would say, I'm christian, but my beliefs are a little different from usual christians. I believe in heaven, but not in hell. I think, that if you lived a good life, you can go to heaven. If you did something bad, you'll have to live another life on earth that's more difficult, like a "punishment" or more like a "lesson". If you get through the tougher life and did everything right, you can go to heaven... If you commit suicide before going through your whole "lesson", you have to live another life again, to do the rest of it and so on... If you got through it, you'll be blessed with an easier/nicer life or as I said, heaven.

My biggest obsessions: freedom, nature, hiking, stargazing, stormy weather, music, daydreaming, spiders & horror

My biggest fears: ending up alone, eyes, mirrors, paranormal stuff (based on true events)

Funfact: I'm a spidermom of 25 tarantulas 🕷

Also, I have two Tulpas, since 2015 I believe. (Eric Slingby & Alan Humphries) ❤ Eric is like a big brother to me and Alan is like my brother in law ❤ They're the most important beings in my life, because I can always count on them. With Erics help, I learned to control my feelings and my thoughts a little better. c:

[lady-lycany]

Little update about my spiritual awakening over the past few weeks. I'm pretty sure I have been more spiritual for a longer time. And even reached the state of zen before I met my- very probable twinflame. But what I'm experiencing lately is... beyond anything I could've imagined. Meditation is still difficult for me... to turn off my thoughts with my loudass adhd brain. But it's no new feeling. Because it's the state of how I feel when I shift more into my wolfself. Which is.. fascinating to me. So I guess saying that this part of me was spiritual, was pretty much spot on. I also learned that I can do it best outside while it rains because I can concentrate on the sounds around me.

I also start to understand things a lot better than I did before. The book of Eckhart Tolle has already helped me a lot, even tho I only read the first half of it up till now. But I understand now what "God" actually is.

But the wildest thing I experienced so far was something paranormal. It was about three weeks ago. I was restless and couldn't sleep. And everything I now describe felt like it happened in just a few seconds.

I closed my eyes for a moment and had like a random picture in mind (I can't remember what exactly I saw). Then I heard a voice say "Now I understand what they mean by saying we're one with everything. That's because we ARE everything." And right after I heard these words, it's like a camera zoomed out, or as if I was catapulted away from earth. Because within like one second, I saw it all and then the planet itself. While that happened, I heard like an electric charge and heard an explosion in my head as I was suddenly hit by a very bright white light. It literally felt as if energy shot from my lower body into my mind and made it explode. And when I opened my eyes again my whole body was tingling and I still had that weird feeling linger in my body. It felt way too realistic to just call it a dream. But I'm in disbelief because it felt so- intensely. No pain, no fear, just very intense.

So I asked my spiritual coach about it and some others responded to it as well, that it was definitely not just a dream and that it doesn't seem to be too rare of an experience for people that start meditating. But it means I'm making progress which makes me happy. + I see repeating numbers everyywhere. lol.

I'd say I'm doing pretty well as of for now, the only thing still hurting and bothering me is the situation with my twinflame... I wonder when that will change

[lady-lycany]

Hhh will my furcolor crisis ever end? ._. Like I've grown pretty used to the furcolor I've been using for a few years now... But it never feels quite right... I just enjoy the color play of it and because it seems to mix everything a little bit together. But the first furcolor I saw myself with was pure white. But when I saw my reflection in a window, it looked more brown/gold/blackish. So I tried to go with that because... It wasn't just an imagination. I saw it. But the white never stopped feeling more right to me, although I kinda hesitate to accept this as how it is, because I find the plain white kinda boring 😔 (damn even with fur I have body dysphoria lmao) Although you see them not too often.. I think black wolves are wayy more common in the furry/otherkin communities than white ones..

But then there's also, before I realized that I'm a Faoladh, I heavily identified with Shiba Inus / Dingos when it comes to their coloration.

And so no matter which one I think of, it never feels quite right...

The reason I'm bringing this up once again is because I heavily consider to get a realistic head getting made...

And I guess I go with my current color-choice?

but a suit head is quite expensive and so I should be sure about how I wanna be seen... but I really don't know... and it really bothers me more than I want to admit...

[lady-lycany]

Recently I feel more aligned with my humanside. I mean I always feel my phantom ears, my tail and my personality traits are wolf too cuz- it's just who I am... but I dunno... something feels different. I mean I'm a Faoladh, part wolf and human so yea... guess I'm just having a more human episode

[lady-lycany]

I take it back lol. Was on a hike again today and heard a fox yip in the distance, so I howled back. after that I shifted pretty strong and had to fight the urge not to jump into the grass and roll around lol

[lady-lycany]

Recently I feel more aligned with my humanside. I mean I always feel my phantom ears, my tail and my personality traits are wolf too cuz- it's just who I am... but I dunno... something feels different. I mean I'm a Faoladh, part wolf and human so yea... guess I'm just having a more human episode

[lady-lycany]

Hmm soo, losing my favorite person has now lead me down a rabbithole of spirituality because I never heard of twinflames before and it literally describes perfectly what was going on.

Soo I ordered a book about turning off your mind and turning on your consciousness instead. (technically its something I once achieved before I met him without even trying, but I have zero clue how to go back to that so book- I'm counting on you)

I feel like I have very- wolfy months ahead of me lol

[lady-lycany]

It's cool to have friends that know that you're a werewolf cuz you're occasionally being called a good girl lol

[lady-lycany]

missing someone is a sickness thats going to be the death of me

[warcrimesimulator]

Khipshang are a rare canid resulting from the hybridization of Himalayan wolves and feral dogs in the high-altitude Himalayan region of Ladakh, India. They are known to be more bold and aggressive than wolves.

📸 Zimy Da Kid

[lady-lycany]

Life: Throws a person in my life that I love unconditionally despite all the issues and unfairness within the last months...

We go in no contact because I broke from all the fear and needed to collect myself.

Life: Throws a new person at me that confessed to me, where I wouldn't have all the issues that I had with the previous person.

...And even though I know I might could've an easier life with the new person I feel nothing.

Man I'm a spiritual being and my soul drags me into the direction of the first person I ever loved. And it might be the last one too. I don't fall in love easily. People don't matter to me easily...

But I still try to wrap my head around of what happened. How a person can change so drastically from what you thought you knew...

And I hate that I put so much thoughts and effort into a letter I sent to him that got lost while being shipped overseas... It was all for nothing... But I don't want to wait any longer... I will reach out to him soon because there still are things I need to say or know...

Curious how this'll go... But it's so hard to overcome this fear because depending on how that conversation will go I either will have to fight a lot of my inner demons to make it work and will keep suffering for a while, or I forever lose the only person I ever let this close to me... the only person I ever cared about losing...

If that should happen I will take a people break and focus on myself. Losing the person that carries a part of my heart and soul will shatter me and I might never feel whole again.

[lady-lycany]

meeting an empath after dealing with an avoidant is the most terrifying shit I ever experienced

why are you so nice, where's the catch

[lady-lycany]

My current obsession with "No I'm not a Human" ain't healthy no more. I just bought a poster (only 10 available) for 143€.

143€ for a piece of paper.

I mean okay yeah... art is expensive but jesus 😭

But I had to cuz... There's only 10. And I doubt there will ever be high quality merchandise like this of this game.

I've been listening to the soundtrack for days

I need the game to be injected into my veins.

can we please live in this world. I wanna be a visitor then

[lady-lycany]

My life has such a dumb fckn sense of humor. It's so unfunny that you just can't help but laugh. Yes I mean that 🗿

[lady-lycany]

Having two different kind of kins that couldn't be more contradicting can make you question everything you thought you knew about yourself

[lady-lycany]

Like I'm spiritually a Faoladh. Always have been. It's less a "kin type" and more just what I am.

But having a psychological kintype that's the opposite of everything I stand for is so weird. Cuz all of a sudden you like or support things you know is usually against what usually makes you you, if you know what I mean. It's like having a strangers voice in your head. But in that moment it is your belief. But I usually snap quickly out of these and understand that its not "me" me. And yet I still feel this way for a while before it goes back to normal.

To explain it even more specific. My belief as a Faoladh is to respect every living being and that we for example shouldn't decide whether a creature deserves to live or to die just because of what it looks like, or because it's way to live & survive- what it's programmed to do annoys you. Like killing a mosquito but helping a butterfly to survive. It doesn't seem fair to me. I also cannot say that everything is black or white when it comes to humans. And that we shouldn't judge people's behavior- Even if it's shit, if we don't know the background of the person. Cuz in some occasions they really just don't know things any better.

But having a psychological kin that was created by how life has been to me, and that barely feels empathy makes me sometimes have the impostor syndrom. Cuz it's the part of me that likes the idea of killing- or not really likes it but also doesn't mind it. And that likes all the fcked up stuff I am usually completely against. And that kin is- I can't really classify it- a part of me for many years too. And it's the occasion where I don't even wanna have that, but it is a part of me, as much as I wish it wasn't because it throws me off sometimes, to have fcked thoughts or a lack of empathy when I'm usually full of it. It feels like a stranger lives inside me who's also me.

It's so hard to explain lol

[lady-lycany]

Having two different kind of kins that couldn't be more contradicting can make you question everything you thought you knew about yourself

[lady-lycany]

I know I've been barely posting here for a while now but I guess I wanna talk a little bit about something that's bothering me for a while now. Maybe some creatures can relate, I dunno... I'm part of the wolfspecies. I'm a pack animal. But somehow life forces me to become a lone wolf. It's not that I want to be one. But I feel like I have no choice and it's starting to hurt. When I was 12, and I moved with my mom to a different state, I lost all friends and 5 very close family members at once. I was only left with her. and I even barely had her around me, because of my jealous stepdad who forced me to keep my distance. And since then I always had like 1 close friend, that I eventually lost. Found a new one, lost them again. And again. And again. And all of them promised to stay. All that made me emotionally grow numb. I don't look for people anymore. I want a close family, a pack. People I can always count on. But no matter how close you grow to a human, they all eventually leave or leave you no choice but to go. Now I have a couple of people left in my life. But no one who really means anything to me anymore because I know it doesn't matter. They're going to disappear one day as well...

Last year in February I started a relationship with someone. Someone who managed to take the numbness away after a long time. Because we both wanted it to be a "forever". But that forever didn't even make it to a whole year, because we don't talk anymore since end of last November. That one person I thought could become my family, left me no choice but to leave, to protect myself. But I lost either way. I had to choose between losing someone who meant more to me than anyone before, and my peace. But without them peace is no where to be found. Because if there's one thing I always prayed for, it was to only have one partner for life. And I know I could've had that. But I also need closeness, connection, trust. safety. And all of that was missing...

What I'm trying to say is, being a pack animal in a human world is just cruel. You count on words, but their behavior eventually always speaks louder... I don't want to be alone anymore. But it seems to be the only way for me to protect myself from further harm.

I got used to it. I can do everything by myself. I don't need people to have a good time. I can survive... But there"s this deep longing for a strong connection to a pack which simply doesn't exist anymore at all.

Never fully alone, but always lonely. I think that sums up my life state pretty well.

[demonicxfire]

Hello mon amie, it's been some time indeed, after reading this I'd just like to tell you sorry, sorry if I've been absent here

It's not your fault nor anyone else's here, it's just a bad habit that I have, I lurk in too many places, too many groups, too many servers, and so i can't be always active everywhere

It just happens, slowly and "naturally"...

I'm just here to tell you, if you want, I'm still here, I still lurk here from time to time, but these days I'm a lot more active on Discord, although I will also delete that in less than a month due to the ID thing

However, if you DM me here, I will always answer.. unless I don't receive the notification 🐺💖😭

I've been inactive here for far too long, but like I said, I can always talk if you want

In a way, I found people to call my own, I have a good group of irl friends (not wolves nor werewolves unfortunately... but still good friends), but most importantly, an online pack where I am always active, alongside two actual Italian werewolves, whom I plan to visit next year

Anyways, enough with me, like I said, DM me if you feel like it, I'd love to chat after a long time, and like I said before, I'm sorry once again, this is a bad habit that I'm still not able to remove...

Big hugs from your Italian werewolf friend 🐺🐺🐺💖💖💖🫂🫂🫂

[lady-lycany]

Hey Dan, I don't wanna sound rude but I didn't even have you on my radar anymore lol.

I have barely people left I don't feel numb towards. It's all more "contacts". Not friends. And even though I enjoy conversations and hanging out with them there's just. Zero trust in them. Talks with you have always been fun and I still have your number if you wanna talk there. But same thing here. Without wanting to sound like a jerk, we don't have nearly enough contact to call you an actual friend, just a cool contact to talk to. Plus most people lack knowledge about me because I simply don't tell everything. Cuz if I would, it becomes pretty clear who only was friendly because it was convenient. I dunno I'm just... resignating when it comes to all of this.

I only have my "best" friend left, that I only consider as a distant friend by now. @lukanthropi is sort of a friend to me cuz we're like, not talking everyday but we're in contact pretty frequently, but I'm fairly numb there too. But still these two still matter to me, like I'm not fully numb like with everyone else (and my mom and and the 5fam members also still matter to me obviously)

I dunno, I just don't connect to people at all anymore. The one person I fully connected to after years doesn't seem to talk to me anymore and it's the most painful thing.

Like I said I enjoy conversations, they're still fun. But no one means anything to me anymore. People always could count on me. I can never count on anyone. And I'm just so so tried of it.

I know I'm an omega, I know I'm here to help and build up people. And I love cheering people up that do mean something to me. It's like a treat if someone actually feels better after talking to me. cuz it feels like it's the only reason I have to exist. So it's great if I do it right.

But I wish I had someone where I don't have to be the strong one. Where I could be comforted. And feel safe. But I feel like I'll never have that in this life. Especially not from random internet people lol

But again I'd surely like to catch up with you and what was going on in your life in the meantime!

[lady-lycany]

I know I've been barely posting here for a while now but I guess I wanna talk a little bit about something that's bothering me for a while now. Maybe some creatures can relate, I dunno... I'm part of the wolfspecies. I'm a pack animal. But somehow life forces me to become a lone wolf. It's not that I want to be one. But I feel like I have no choice and it's starting to hurt. When I was 12, and I moved with my mom to a different state, I lost all friends and 5 very close family members at once. I was only left with her. and I even barely had her around me, because of my jealous stepdad who forced me to keep my distance. And since then I always had like 1 close friend, that I eventually lost. Found a new one, lost them again. And again. And again. And all of them promised to stay. All that made me emotionally grow numb. I don't look for people anymore. I want a close family, a pack. People I can always count on. But no matter how close you grow to a human, they all eventually leave or leave you no choice but to go. Now I have a couple of people left in my life. But no one who really means anything to me anymore because I know it doesn't matter. They're going to disappear one day as well...

Last year in February I started a relationship with someone. Someone who managed to take the numbness away after a long time. Because we both wanted it to be a "forever". But that forever didn't even make it to a whole year, because we don't talk anymore since end of last November. That one person I thought could become my family, left me no choice but to leave, to protect myself. But I lost either way. I had to choose between losing someone who meant more to me than anyone before, and my peace. But without them peace is no where to be found. Because if there's one thing I always prayed for, it was to only have one partner for life. And I know I could've had that. But I also need closeness, connection, trust. safety. And all of that was missing...

What I'm trying to say is, being a pack animal in a human world is just cruel. You count on words, but their behavior eventually always speaks louder... I don't want to be alone anymore. But it seems to be the only way for me to protect myself from further harm.

I got used to it. I can do everything by myself. I don't need people to have a good time. I can survive... But there"s this deep longing for a strong connection to a pack which simply doesn't exist anymore at all.

Never fully alone, but always lonely. I think that sums up my life state pretty well.