Keep calm & start panicking

23-any/any, rus/eng, ace The wheel to get a new hyperfixation spins occasionally Owls.

[lady-owlet]

After carefully examining a bunch of LotL-TV episodes, i'm ready to present a scientifically accurate bingo!

(Applicable to the ~2016-nowadays, can be used for more early ones with the band members changes in mind)

t.me/lotltodaydietmrw there's quite some stuff there already, shitposting of different quality!

[lady-owlet]

Would an honourable member of the committee like to have a print of my diploma presentation stapled with a kitty or a star?

[lady-owlet]

live today but also live tomorrow because ive passed my uni finals

t.me/lotltodaydietmrw

[lady-owlet]

t.me/lotltodaydietmrw it's alive now!!!

[lady-owlet]

I'm thinking of starting a telegram channel with shitty lotl memes...

[lady-owlet]

t.me/lotltodaydietmrw

Done. Now just have to keep making'em.

[lady-owlet]

I'm thinking of starting a telegram channel with shitty lotl memes...

[lady-owlet]

OPVS NOIR Vol.3 is finally here, and after listening to it I suddenly had a thought I'd like to discuss.

(Disclaimer it's purely my personal perception and subjective view)

Despite liking most songs individually I had a trouble listening to the whole album. Like, something didn't settle in me, I felt like different songs had different vibe and I couldn't listen to them one after another smoothly, I couldn't perceive them all together.

And after listening to the 3rd volume and having a short conversation with a friend about it I explained to myself why this happened.

Chris once told sth like that not all the songs must be perceived as their personal experience/feelings, but more like stories they tell (source: trust me bro, i tried to find that fragment to quote it accurately, i believe it was one of the answers to questions in shorts, but i didn't manage to find it. It also could be on a q&a stream?..). But OPVS NOIR, on the opposite, has an ungodly amount of songs that express their feelings in direct words. A lot of them, but not all.

So from my point of view OPVS NOIR has two categories of songs: personal ones and stories from the sideview. Personal are ones that express their own feelings in a direct way almost without any cover, like My sanctuary, I will die in it, One of us, My funeral, Square one etc., while "stories" perceived more as, well, stories of some lyrical heroes band tell about without obvious direct connection to themselves, like Light can only shine in the darkness, Ghosts, When did the love break. Being mixed all together they make me always having to switch between these two points of view, that confuses my perception.

So yeah, i just divided all the songs into two separate playlists, let's say, vol. [personal] and vol.[dark tales]. And this way it finally worked for me. Listening to the songs of the same point of view finally helped me to catch the flow and damn it made me cry. I felt how emotionally heavy it actually is.

Of course there are some songs that have both vibes, I tossed them according to my own perception, some ended up in both playlists. The most interesting one in my opinion is Winter's Dying Heart, because it clearly is something deeply personal for Chris, but it well-masked as a ballad story. Maybe it shows that the perception of the song is a matter of how much inside information about it you're given? And also Bazaar Bizarre! (i adore how they shorten it to "Bza Bzaa") It goes well both as personal admiration with darkness/invitation to step into it with them and kinda a story of itself too? They are kinda presented in the song as people, "we", but the subject of the song is much bigger and consuming than them.

And Square one is unexpectedly such a closing song for the playlist of personal ones! It's so deceivingly light, but sad, hopeful, but a bit tired?.. It feels like they've took a journey into the depths of their souls and now they're back to square one, and it's the end of the journey with a question what's left there? (And oh god "Stop asking me how I am" verse? I remembered how in the Covid video Chris apologised for "complaining" and it hit me emotionally) In the vol.3 all that goes after it are definitely more of the "stories" songs.

So yeah, again, it's just my own thoughts about the album, I'm interested if someone else resonate with them, I claim nothing. I very much enjoyed taking a closer look at the songs one by one and formed personal connection with the album, that feels very good even though a lot of songs are very heavy.

[lady-owlet]

Reporting from the metro station 2 mins after receiving the package 🖤🖤🖤

I'm feeling emotions.

(I swear merch reached me faster through the ten pairs of hands than any answer from the Australian embassy came. I don't even need any answer anymore, but it's almost of the scientific interest now)

[lady-owlet]

Well, sometimes everything goes wrong. It was a long "operation" of trying to organize a trip to Australia to see the LotL concert with my own eyes, then of searching someone on the other side of the world with the only goal to "visit" the Meet&Greet through a Discord call. No visa granted, no planned trip, no normal sound on the video call and no chance for my voice and words to be heard. Even screen recording decided to cut itself on its own, leaving me only with my own memories. But we saw each other! We greeted each other while being thousands of kms away! A newfound friend's voice was there to speak for me! I still managed to feel a glimpse of connection and atmosphere of being there. Bittersweet feeling.

Anyway, these are some chosen pages from my album. Nik "signed" it through screen! ^^ And I'm sure I'll see and HEAR! them with my own eyes and ears and they all will sign these pages irl one day.

[lady-owlet]

People I'd like to get to know better meme

tagged by @deep-space-lines ah oh you got me startled huh.

Last Book: last finished fiction is The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula Le Guin. I've read it long ago as a teen, didn't understand shit, but still cherished the memory. Sad reason to reread it was that I noticed news about a bookshop being sued becase of this book and a couple of others for "lgbt propaganda" (nonexistent in this book if you read it). I've finished it in a day. Now it's missing from every legal source, and the bookshop been fined, even though those books weren't in any "list of forbidden literature" and and and... but.

last finished non-fiction What's the Use? by Ian Stewart. I have very tensed relationship with maths because it's too abstract for me, so I loved this book!

In progress: Nikolai Epplee "The Inconvenient Past", "Fermentation Rébellion" by Thien Uyen Do. Cannot read single non-fiction book, espesially on heavy topics. Better alternate crimes againt humanity and fermented food, u know.

And! And! My new beautiful thicc wife! Handbook of petrochemicals production processes edit. by Robert A. Meyers! Oh I can use it as a weapon at my finals, she's so heavy <3

Last Song: heavily into Lord of the Lost. As I'm writing this, there're The Things We Do For Love, Trisma, Live Pray Die Repeat, Utopya playing. And Judas. Of course Judas.

Last added to my playlist is The Baron (Ordeal by Fire) by Rome (Jérôme Reuter) though. Great musician too. Others I mainly listen leave me with a pleasant impression of singing FOR me, to me. But Jérôme? Like he's sitting in a corner and singing to himself and not noticing you and you're just lucky to hear him (it's just subjective view). "How often do you think about the Roman Empire?" meme in person

Last series: I can barely watch movies (cannot sit still alone) and u ask about series??? Does TV of the Lost count as one? More like a videoblog i guess. Then prob Arcane season 2. Long ago. Last time I was in a big group of friends.

Salty or Sweet: out of all dessert flavours, I prefer salted caramel. But let's be honest, it's mainly sweet. So sweet.

Coffee or Tea: tea. Coffee makes me too anxious.

Working on: my graduate work. I took a gap year since I didn't manage to finish it last spring, now I'm doing a bunch of experients and WRITING PAPER I hate writing I like working with my hands. Being stinky with tertiary amines yay!

Complaining to everybody about my Australian visa to go to the LotL concert. I was a bit late to apply for it and now I'm very uncertain and very scared it won't work. Still preparing a small album for them to sign! There is some hope left. Watching these adorable guys ooooh I wanna see and hear them in person I want Pi to prove to me he really can hug to death!

Studying Chinese. Long story. But I adore these hieroglyphs. I hate listening.

Being freaky with ropes, needles and a friend of mine. Nothing sexual, just SM and aesthetics. Trying to use some of taken photos as references for ultrakill art (this angel deserves being bondaged properly) but I'm not an artist and my focus is mess. Step by step though.

Small wish: I want to try the almost extinct Big Mike/Gros Michel bananas one day, I've heard that it contained more of isoamyl acetate (banana flavouring) than nowaday bananas

Hope it wasn't too much.

I'm tagging: Oh, this is a hard part. Very-very hard. I'm a bit new to the tumblr and anxious... I'll tag only 2 strangers who caught my attention, feel free to answer or not, hope it doesnt bother you. @hpz603 (请别怕, 尽管回答或者不回答，是只一场小游戏...) @bobombun

"Ok byeeeeee!"

[lady-owlet]

What i love: Algae in condensers.

[lady-owlet]

Awwww man 💔

Wish him health with all my heart. Whether he will or won't return to the stage. Depression sucks.

"He's lovable, touchable, beautiful. He's perfect."

[a-silly-poll-side-blog-yay]

the main villain of the last book you read is real, is humanity doomed?

yes

no

nothing actually changes

kinda?

no villain in the book

results

Voting ended onJan 10

[lady-owlet]

Had a talk with my friend about Hex and protoframes in general. You see, I'm not a fan of 1999 and Hex mostly because that to complete the quest you need to bond to all of the Hex, who are a bit of emotional mess, trauma and just a bunch of different temperaments. It's not an easy task even for a normal person. I grew up in a normal world, in a loving family, I consider myself having at least some empathy, and I'm still have problems with social anxiety, comforting someone and forming connections.

Drifter, however, grew up in Duviri. Their best connections are a friend of childhood (a capricious child-king, who is a toy brought to life by the Void) and an old Dax (who appeared rather late in their life). Then they spent some time with their Tenno, Lotus, couple of cephalons and Umbra (doubt they were much of help). How the hell they should know how to bond to people? Especially complicated and alert ones like Hexes? Especially if they are from the deep past?

That's impossible. Or so I thought. Now I finally found out the only explanation that satisfies me.

Drifter had no social skills. But they had a mission and a lot, a LOT of time.

First year? Probably a failure. They really tried, but they just couldn't figure out what to say when someone is stressed, frustrated, just want to chat and so so on. They end up looking like a suspicious weirdo. Hex just tolerate them. They didn't mean to.

But there were good moments. When Hexes were asking something specific about the future (that was easy to answer), or Aoi with her optimism, or just somebody's sudden good mood. But very tiring.

Again. Make the Hex forget.

Second one? Less talk, just work. Complete some missions. Bring resources. Help Höllvania. Still didn't bond much. Work partners, but quite cold ones.

There was desire to escape back to Duviri. Maybe they did. Had talks with Teshin.

But Drifter is no stranger to being stuck in a loop. They have quite a lot of patience.

So again. And again. And again? How many years? Did they make Hex forget all of them, or at some point decided that it's ok as it is?

Anyway, at some point they started noticing patterns. Aoi likes when you show enthusiasm – find some funny emojis and go drink some bubble tea with her. She's also helping much – once Drifter understood they can ask her about anything they don't get it became a bit easier. And she is so full of joy, it reminds them of Mathilda! Lettie... On the opposite. Don't bother her with small talks (not like Drifter really had desire to do such). Bring her some coffee. Wait for a moment she starts talking herself. Don't play Albrecht's advocate! Amir? Tell him whatever he wants to know about future and never play jokes on him. Quincy seems a difficult one, but then it strikes that he's quite chill unless you intentionally brush him off. Eleonor and Arthur? Let them do as they please. Show Arthur your usefulness, don't laugh at his attempts to approach. Let his sister read your mind. Don't interrupt her when she starts writing her long messages about mystical stuff. (They still took a lot of time figuring out how they should answer them to please her)

Is it what normal people get through communication by default?!

Step by step, they find right words for all of them. It takes several years to gather all this information. It's a bit mechanical. Eleonor notices this better than others, but let it pass. She believes to understand Drifter. At least see their good intentions. (At least when it's not through the KIM's screen and Drifter accidentally being rude to her daydreaming again). They did and do speak from heart most of the time. But it's the way they speak that matters now. The words.

So yeah, they might make it work. They might find it funny even. It's better than Duviri's solitary confinement. They are adaptive. They adjust to every one of the Hex, to any confession they might hear. They even accidentally start dating somebody. They might like it.

It doesn't really help them to understand who they are themselves. They will probably never be a "normal" one. But even through mechanical precision (and a bit of help from different sides) they become the glue of this company. No matter how many years it will take.

The only problem it birthed is: the longer it goes well the more they are in mortal fear that they'll face something unexpected again and won't have the opportunity to adapt to it successfully. That after all these years they'll have to start again. That they'll tell something wrong again and will be abandoned. That loop will break without a chance to fix mistake like they are used to at this point.

[lady-owlet]

Custom sneaker. The other one is obviously gonna be a certain angry angel boy :>

Accuracy is not my name at all, but it's okay for my taste.

Will probably add sth later

[kittanimo]

This one is pretty rushed, i just had it in mind because why not.

I really like the tree punishment from the violence layer, it would be pretty fitting for V1

Also an alt:

[bbirby]

Eat my queerlings….