“A person does not grow from the ground like a vine or a tree, one is not part of a plot of land.
Mankind has legs so it can wander."
ind. aos female!scotty, written by alyssa.
You may as well have told him that there was no Santa Clause, Scotty. The wind has been taken out of his sails. “I just don’t…how do…” He downs the rest of his beer with a sigh and gestures to the waitress to bring them another round, giving her a wink.
“That’d be like me not knowing how to give a blowjob. If you’ve gotten one, you should be able to do it.”
“Nae lesbians.” Which sort of isn’t the point. “I went tae ‘er wedding a few years ago. Her husband’s... pleasant. Nae very interestin’.” ‘Pleasant and not very interesting’ is how she’d describe the whole ceremony, really. Long and boring and exactly the sort of thing Morcades hated sitting still for.
“Anyway, that’s nae a fair comparison. Blowjobs are much more straight-forward. Na offense, but th’ anatomy ain’t exactly complicated.” She passes the waitress a much more apologetic look, briefly considering kicking Dean under the table. The woman doesn’t look put upon in the slightest, though whether that’s professionalism or Dean’s charm working is up for debate.
Probably the charm, but Morcades isn’t going to say that.
“Ye better tip her fer puttin’ up with ye, by the way. Incorrigible.”
“She did,” Scotty confirms, sipping her beer with a faint grin.
“Worst sex-ed conversation of m’ life. An’ if ye’ve ever dealt with--” even at her age it’s hard to put her odd sexual interests-- or lack thereof-- into words. Morcades grimaces, “Anyway, it sorta turned it from acceptable tae me fakin’ it.”
Morcades doesn’t really appreciate intrusions on her space. She doesn’t really like being kissed, either, generally. All that’s gotten worse over the years and being trapped groundside and doing lectures isn’t helping.
The only reason she doesn’t punch the kid in the face is because... he’s a kid and she had enough warning to see that. She still sort of wants to punch him on the nose and her arms come halfway up to protest all this... people-y-ness but she’s trying to get better about her violent reactions to other human beings.
When he pulls back it’s with the proper amount of regret and mortification for kissing and grabbing a stranger, and that soothes some of her ire.
“Congratulations,” Morcades tries, mild and with controlled irritation. He isn’t off the hook but she works with Jim Kirk and she’s attached at the hip to Tony Stark.
She’s familiar with poor impulse control and bursts of physical affection that aren’t always in line with standard boundaries. She just typically cares for the people who subject her to it.
Tony Stark is a bad person and Scotty is divorcing him immediately.
“I hae ‘n eidetic memory an’ it’s never gonnae go away now-” she whines, but she’s already seen it and, yes, okay, it is theoretically interesting to learn what gamma radiation does to genitals.
She just... well she wasn’t that desperate to find out, really.
Morcades leans forward and huffs at her best friend in disgust, scowling at the picture but still looking. Scientific duty and all.
“Please tell me ye didnae fuck ‘im fer this.” Because if Tony dies from too much dick she’s putting it on his fucking grave and yelling at him so loud he’ll hear her all the way up at the pearly goddamn gates.
She’s not telling him dicks will go on his grave. He’d think it was a reward.
It’s incredibly unfair that Tony looks good in her leggings.
She owns so few pairs and has yet to feel comfortable wearing them and Tony bursts in, throws them on, and looks like he could walk down a catwalk.
Scotty’s very aware a lot of that has to be attitude, she’s never had his grace or natural ability to project comfort and ease, but she still chucks a pillow at him with a faux-outraged growling noise.
“Be nice tae those. The wee spacemen glow in the dark.”
under the cut, you’ll find 100 plain rp icons of annalise basso in fed head as requested by @grcveycrdkids. screencap credit goes to this site. feel free to edit these icons but please do not claim as your own. these icons were created by diana. please like/reblog if you’re using and enjoy!
“That’s all well and good, until the IRS comes knocking.” At least he’s on hold while they’re contemplating the life of a scum sucking tax man. He’d probably find more fees if he weren’t.
“I know a guy with a good lawyer ye can borrow,” she says, dismissively. It’s probably the only time Tony Stark has ever been described as ‘a guy’ in the same tone one used for the kid who brings you Dominos.
“Anyway, ‘e gave ye th' wrong numbers.” Scotty’s corrected the math because she’s bored while he’s on the phone and waves the napkin she’s scribbled on at him, “Ignore the bit tae the left-- it’s terminal velocity ‘n calculations fer controlled orbit entries on one-man flights, ye’ll have nightmares.” She’s going to have nightmares regarding the sudden deceleration problem.
Morcades Scott mostly just wants to study physics and space and figure out a way to convince someone she should just live on the ISS with her five PhD.s forever.
Crimes are not her thing.
(she’s not exactly sure how their two paths crossed based on those descriptors, but imagines it’s one of those cosmic jokes that happen just to prove real life still has better plots than Friends or Days of Our Lives.)
The point was that Scotty winds up acquaintances with a criminal. She has coffee with him and recommends mechanic shops. She does not give him her address or phone number and he doesn’t ask. She’s friendly, in her gruff, abrasive way and elects to press neosporin and astronaut bandaids into his hands instead of calling the police.
He does not give her details about his crimes and she doesn’t ask.
The first time Roderick Kasun breaks into her apartment he pretends it’s an accident.
“I was doing crime, you know, around-- my mistake.”
Morcades is pretty sure he doesn’t run into coffee tables on his normal B&Es but isn’t quite sure how to call him on it. What does she know about breaking in, anyway? Maybe smashing a shin into a table is good luck for criminals, one never knows.
She blinks unhelpfully at him, paused in the middle of pouring hot water into her tea and gaping a bit like a fish.
“Oh! Tea! Have any crumpets?”
Scotty reconsiders her choice not to call the police-- his bad accent alone should justify jail time. She lectures him ferociously about the difference between English and Scottish, scowling and harrumphing at him even as she pulls out another cup for tea. He sits around politely for a lot longer than someone who meant to be somewhere else had any right to be.
She never figures out how to call him on it.
Morcades changes her locks.
It feels petty more than useful.
He breaks in again when she’s in the middle of a Netflix binge. She chucks popcorn at him, hissing “haud yer wheesht” furiously until he catches the meaning and shuts up.
Somewhere in the middle of Sabrina, Scotty sticks her feet under his thigh. An episode or two later, his head is on her stomach and she’s managed to sneak fifteen pieces of popcorn into his hair without him reacting.
They finish Sabrina the Teenage Witch and start on Voltron before he leaves this time.
He makes her promise not to finish without him and it’s only once he’s gone Scotty realizes she pretty much just agreed to this man breaking into her house intermittently to socialize.
Why doesn’t he just knock?????!!!!
Scotty doesn’t ask him for his number. She just starts getting texts from an unknown lamenting the lack of giant robot lions in the world.
She doesn’t save it, scowls at the full number every time it appears.
“You keep answering him, though,” observes her brother.
Morcades wishes she was an only child.
She has a migraine when he breaks in a third time, body curled up in a tight bow of pain to brace against the cacophony of noise that is all of existence right now (breathing, breathing is too loud). She keeps her eyes shut to stave off the nausea but it still sort of feels like her head is in a washing machine without the rest of her.
He gets half a sentence out before Scotty groans and throws up on his shoes.
The migraine lasts two days. Roderick is an alarmingly consistent companion for the duration-- he finds some way to silently cross through her house and she’s so relieved she forgets to needle him for always announcing himself so loudly before.
Scotty falls (gratefully) asleep with her head in his lap more than once-- there’s a distinct memory of cautious fingers in her tangled hair.
She snaps “Stay” at him the second time he makes a move to go to the couch and if he makes a joke about getting in her bed, she doesn’t hear it.
Day three and she wakes up clear(ish) and with her nose tucked against Roderick’s spine.
He’s gone when she comes out of the shower but she didn’t really expect anything less.
Scotty saves his number in her phone.
txt: kasun - dinna bother comin over w/o hot chocolate
it’s the first demand she’s ever imposed on the bizarre tradition they’ve established.
Morcades is cold and bitter about it, though, and if he’s going to mooch her Netflix, she’s going to exact her price.
(The hot cocoa has moon-shaped marshmallows Scotty is certain Starbucks didn’t put in it.)
Scotty changes her locks again.
She gives Roderick the spare key.
He breaks in several more times anyway and Morcades doesn’t even know why she tries.
“Ye need tae start buyin’ groceries,” she informs him, when he’s staying more often than not.
“How d’ye feel about kids?”
To his credit, he doesn’t immediately walk back out the door.
“...Well, if you think we’re ready to talk about that step-”
Scotty snorts to cut him off and turns her phone so her youngest nephew can squint curiously at his aunt’s companion.
“Peter this is Mister Kasun, Kasun, Peter.” Her oldest sister’s son, though she doesn’t expect that Rod remembers. “Say hullo, Pete.”
“Hello Mister Kasey!” Peter tries obediently.
Scotty grins.
Neither of them ever remembers to buy groceries, but Scotty does change his toothbrush when it starts getting gross.
Scotty gets two stockings at Christmas. One is her usual, a plain thing with accurate constellations drawn in in silver. The other has ‘KASEY’ in bright orange glitter glue on the top in Peter’s determined handwriting. The effect is both offensively out of place and oddly charming against the reds and whites of the season.
Clara doesn’t like how her son’s developed a sudden adoration of Scotty’s mysterious friend, but Clara doesn’t like anything. No one really pays attention to it.
(Scotty does pull Rod aside to inform him, in no uncertain terms, that he was to be on his best behavior in front of Peter to keep from giving the boy inaccurate ideas about cool criminals.
“Mind, if ‘e goes supervillian on ‘is own, ye better be his top henchmen,” she adds, “I wilnae have some cut-rate crook lookin’ after him.”)
In a more mystifying form of acceptance, her father, Ewan, sends Roderick several pages about the origin of his name, with special attention to its less anglicized versions and another page on Clann Ruaidri even though that’s a last name and Scotty’s fairly certain Roderick himself isn’t Scottish. He seems to think it’s funny Roderick’s hair is dark when, after all, his name means ‘red haired ruler’.
“Oh aye,” Scotty mutters darkly at Roderick’s shoulder, “'S alright tae name me after some poor tart that got stabbed by ‘er son, but mismatching hair color, that’s criminal.”
Scotty does, in fact, press an unthinking kiss to the corner of his mouth when he waves mistletoe at her and the look of surprise on his face nearly breaks her heart.
“Idiot,” she says, fierce with affection, and she thinks he knows what she means by it.
send a ♡ and i’ll fill this out for our muses ! i’ll bold what i want for their relationship, italic what i could see and strike out what i don’t .
FRIENDS. childhood friends / work friends / family friends / recently friends / turning antagonistic / turning into something romantic / stable / falling apart / friendship of need / friendship of circumstance pen - pals or internet friends / coworkers / partners / other .
ROMANCE. childhood sweethearts / newly entered / soulmates / skinny love / unrequited from my muses side / unrequited from your muses side / friends with benefits / awkward / fading / turning toxic / toxic and destructive / other .
FAMILIAL BOND. sibling bond / older sibling figure to your muse / younger sibling figure to your muse / parental figure to your muse / parental figure to your muse / guardian figure / legal guardian / other .
ENEMIES. dangerous to themselves / dangerous to others / unpredictable / passionate / rivals / petty / developing into a sexual tension / developing into a romantic tension / based off family matters / based of circumstance / based of professional matters / based of misunderstandings or lies / other .
