Lady Lilliel Curmeen, of the Shadowmists

Lady Lilliel Curmeen, of the Shadowmists, mentee of the High Priestess of the Shadowmists.

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I’m glad. Something in Lily’s tone tugged at her chest. She didn’t think Lily was lying to her — quite the opposite. The blonde sounded utterly sincere, and Sandra couldn’t understand why. When Lily had so much around her, people who were written to be perfect friends to her, cohorts, mentors, how could she possibly choose to spend her time with someone so fallible, so human? The question sat on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t ask it. It felt too … she wasn’t sure, she couldn’t put it to words, but she knew that asking would make her feel guilty, somehow.

Instead, she puled the dress to her chest and nodded. “If you insist.” She slipped out of her traveller’s clothes with only a little bit of reluctance. So much time on the road had pretty much removed any sort of embarrassment over being seen naked, but … she still didn’t glance in Lily’s direction until both of them were properly dressed.

When they were, however, she paused. Something still hung unspoken in the air between them. She couldn’t just leave it unsaid, even if she didn’t want to give voice to all of the self-depreciating thoughts in her head. “Lily,” she began, then paused. The nickname felt familiar on her tongue. “Are you happy?” She gazed at the other woman’s face, trying to read her expression. She let the rest of the thought sit between them, unspoken. Are you happy without Melitta? Are you happy with me? Could you be?

The moment Lily pulled the garment out of the bag, she felt an unexpected wave of self-consciousness. She didn’t need any repairs on it, as she’d said, but it was shabby, or at the very least, shabbier than she wanted. Lately, every once in a while, for no particular reason, she’d been having thoughts like this. Thoughts about whether she looked nice in her clothes or how her hair seemed. It was funny; back when she’d been with Melitta, the other woman had made a few offhand comments about her appearance every once in a while. Little you look nice today’s. 

She’d never thought much of them, but sometimes she had the nonsensical wish that Sandra would say them too. Just once, maybe, to see how it felt. But, of course, Sandra had no reason to say anything to her. Still, once she was dressed, she flicked an eye to the other woman. Maybe it was just their similarity in appearance. Lilliel hadn’t confused the two, not even in her mind, in a long time, but she could not explain the little blip in her heartbeat any other way. 

She tugged her hair out from under the dress, pulling it up and out of her way with a piece of string, allowing her eyes to stay unfocused and away from Sandra as she considered the question. “Yes,” she answered, allowing her answer to be as broad as the question she was being asked. It didn’t matter how the other woman meant it. She was, generally, happy. With her, with their lives, with all of it. “Are you?” With the question ask, she had to turn to see Sandra’s answer as much as she heard it.

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Magic. Right. It wasn’t exactly that she forgot that it existed. She just wasn’t used to using it for – everything. When she saw threadbare clothing, her first instinct would always be to seek a needle and thread, even if she didn’t necessarily need that anymore. It took Lily to remind her that there was a better way. She wondered if Lily would experience a similar culture shock, if she were in Sandra’s world – if she’d neglect showering and cooking on a stove because it didn’t occur to her to do so. It was pointless to think of such things now, but Sandra thought about them anyways. Frequently, actually.

She smiled a little, at the warm touch of Lily’s hands. She did that frequently, touched her when she didn’t need to. Sandra didn’t like to think about what that might have meant – she didn’t want to be disappointed. “Right. Okay.” She closed her eyes, focusing on the magic that Lily tugged together. When she opened her eyes, she saw the path the threads had taken as they came undone, watched as the old fabric slowly, painstakingly began to knit itself back together. It was slower, here. Harder.

But she could still act, and she could still speak. “It really isn’t,” she assured the other. “I don’t – I don’t plan on going anywhere, or anything. You know.” Not like Melitta. Not without you. The unspoken words colored her tone, turned it awkward. She ducked her head, moving to tuck her hair behind her ear before remembering her hands were full. She looked down at the fabric, watching as it finished knitting itself back to its former glory.

It was not the key ability of her power, to pull on strings like this. It required her utmost concentration, and she was able to provide it, except for the small part of her that continued to watch Sandra, to listen to her, as if she could not force that part of her to hear or see anything other than Sandra. With her divided attention, though, she could feel as Sandra began to mend the cloth. Or, no. Not mend. Restore, as was her power. “Amazing,” she whispered, feeling the rough spot right above her hand smooth and soften out, warmed by the other woman’s abilities as much as by her hands.

It was so foolish, to be reassured by the words I don’t plan on going anywhere. When had she become so attached to permanence? People had come and gone near-constantly throughout her early life. In fact, no one had been permanent, really. Not until Melitta. But, in the end, she hadn’t been permanent either. Another person might not even believe in permanence anymore. But Lily did, and she was relieved to hear Sandra promise to stay. “I’m glad,” she replied softly, meaning it.

When enough time had passed, she glance down, seeing the fabric all restored. The dress had not been the finest by any measure when it had been new, though now it was in a much better state than it had been in when she’d taken it from her bag. “You can wear this,” she offered, holding it out to Sandra. “Mine is in my bag. It only had a few rough spots, and I don’t want to wear you out.” She smiled softly. “Let’s get dressed, then.”

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She nodded as the other suggested that they go to the party for only a little while. “Alright,” she said, standing up and dusting off her traveling clothes. “Should I … Is there something nicer I should be wearing?” Her clothing was clean, at least. That was more she could say for most of her time traveling through the Shadowmists. She hadn’t exactly been a neat freak back home, or anything, but … there was something to be said for having clean clothes and soap whenever she wanted it. It had taken a while for her body to get used to what passed for hygiene in this world. It was actually probably the biggest hurdle, outside of the absolute insanity that was magic, and her power.

She smiled as the other said that they could find the Wise Woman, although she felt a bit doubtful. The way that Lily stumbled over her words made her worry that she had said something wrong. She hoped that Lily wouldn’t take offense, it was just … she was fictional. She wasn’t real. It was a lot for her to take in. Then again, Lily was fictional, too, and it didn’t seem to bother her. She opened her mouth to ask, but … there was the party to get to. And admitting to her existential crisis would probably put a damper on the mood.

So instead, she just nodded. “We’ll find her when the time is right,” she said. “It’s not like there’s a rush on it, or anything. It’s not important — I mean. Urgent. It’s not urgent.” She was trying to get better about the downplaying, the habit of minimizing her own wants and desires. Because this wasn’t like her life before, and her wants were important to Lily. Just like Lily’s wants were important to her. Acting like they weren’t felt weirdly guilt-trippy, so she tried to avoid it. “For now, let’s just … celebrate, for a little bit. I mean, we did sort of save the world.” She cracked a smile, her tone light. It did sound a little ridiculous, when she said it out loud.

Lily’s face settled into a small smile at Sandra’s question of clothes. Though Sandra had done a truly admirable job training and perfecting her power, in some ways, it was as though she had not yet grown accustomed to having it. As though she sometimes forgot it was there. Lilliel couldn’t imagine living without her power, not even for a moment. “Oh, Sandra, let me show you what we can do.” She opened up her pack, digging out a small bundle. The only fine clothes she--they, though it was only Lilliel now--had ever owned. She always intended to mend it now, even packed a sewing needle on occasion, but now, well, such things were obsolete in her life.

“What you can do, I should say,” she corrected. “I’m not much help here. But, look.” First, she reached out, taking Sandra’s hand with the ease of a familiar gesture. She held one hand out, and then she took the other one, holding it about half of the length of the threadbare clothes. She could have set the garment on Sandra’s hands, but she couldn’t resist the opportunity. Instead of simply giving the cloth to the girl, she laid it into Sandra’s hands, and then laid her hands on top. Though they were not in direct contact, she could feel the warmth from the other girl. “I can try to amplify you’re power. I know you’re not used to using it outside the Shadowmists.”

She cracked a smile at the girl’s words, focusing on the threads of magic, weak as they were, pulling them closer for Sandra. “I’m glad it’s not urgent,” she said, voice distant as she kept her focus on the magic, rather than the danger of considering what she could read between Sandra’s words. “We did save the word, and relaxing with you sounds nice.”

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Sandra ran a hand through her hair. It felt rough after months of not using proper shampoo and conditioner. It was odd, the things she noticed. The things she missed, if she was being perfectly honest with herself. The world that she had left no longer felt like home, precisely … but there were still things she remembered from there, things she carried with her, close to her heart. Things she enjoyed telling Lily about, as she enjoyed seeing the other girl’s face light up with interest in her stories. It was enough to make her think … Well, something. Something that was coming to her more in emotions than in concrete ideas and thoughts.

“We don’t have to,” Sandra said quickly, before realizing that Lily actually cared about what she thought, that if you want wasn’t actually code for I don’t want to and I’m going to sulk the whole time if we do. “I mean … honestly, I’m fine here. I know that the people here don’t see me like … yeah.” She shrugged. “So, you know, I’d just as soon take it easy with you.” She smiled, pushing her bangs out of her face. “I think we deserve to take it easy for at least a month. Saving the world has to be worth some vacation time, wouldn’t you say?”

There it was again. That nagging idea, that something. Quite suddenly, she turned to Lily and asked, “Lily, do you think the Wise Woman will come?” She flushed a little – the nickname sometimes slipped out, but she always felt a little embarrassed when it did for reasons she couldn’t quite pinpoint. “Sorry, it’s just, now that all this is over, I’m … curious, about a few things.” She didn’t want to sound evasive, so she quickly added, “It’s not that I’m not grateful. The Shadowmists have been wonderful, you’ve been wonderful. I don’t have any desire to …” To go back to my world, was what she was going to say, but that didn’t feel right. “To leave you,” Sandra amended, and she hoped that Lily would take it more generally. “That’s not why I want to talk to her. It’s just … There are a lot of questions I haven’t even really had time to even think about, much less find an answer for. Am I making sense?”

Lilliel considered Sandra closely. The way she’d begun to set into the Shadowmists, like how new paint added onto an old painting dries and begins to blend into the original work. It wasn’t quite yet that Lily could not remember before Sandra was there--she had not forgotten her yet either--but imagining her world without Sandra in it seemed wrong. She belonged, simple as that. And her stories about where she’d been before, amazing as they were, seemed more and more like fantasies invented by the woman each day, less like some reality that the other woman experienced.

Lily loved hearing them, though. Loved imagining the sort of life Sandra must have had before, the luxuries that she had relied on and how she adapted to the relatively simple world of the Shadowmists. Still, it wasn’t often that Lily had something truly interesting to share in return. A party, thrown by the unspeakably wealthy Prince of Shoria, was one thing she did have. “Let’s go for a short while,” Lily offered as a compromise, smiling up at the other woman. “And then we will begin taking it easy. Relaxing does sound like a nice change of pace.” She giggled, imagining the Hot Tubs and Saunas Sandra had described before, wondering if they could even make something like that here.

The question about the Wise Woman had her sitting up a little straighter, though. She wasn’t jealous, precisely, nor suspicious of Sandra’s motives. More surprised that the girl had had time to think of such things at all. And, of course, surprised by the girl’s mention of her. So small, and yet it seemed to hold meaning Lily couldn’t quite comprehend. Surely she didn’t... Goodness. Lily couldn’t even finish the thought in her own mind. “Of course,” she said, trying to mask her shock in a serene smile, as the Wise Woman would. “It makes sense, that is. The Wise Woman appears as she is needed in the Shadowmists, and never in either Kingdom. We could return if you need to speak to her, and she would be there if it is time for you to find your answers. And if not, you and I--we could--” She bit down on her lip, that to leave you still swirling around her head, trying to take root and mean something. “You and I could go wherever you like. We’d be welcome in any estate in the Shadowmists, and many beyond, as word of what we did travels.”

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The Shadowmists were safe.

They had gotten things done quickly, far quicker than they had gotten done in the novels. Sandra’s information hadn’t always been accurate, but it had been close, and with her telling everything to Lily they had usually been able to make some pretty educated guesses. The demons had been vanquished, the bad guys defeated, and now the Shadowmists and all the realms that lived in its shadow lived in peace.

What happened after “the end?” The question didn’t bother Sandra as much as it used to. After living in the Shadowmists long enough, she found that she didn’t think of it as a fictional place, needing narrative roundness and a clean plot progression. It was just a place. But it wasn’t home. She could never think of it as home. But neither was the world she came from.

It was Lily. Lily was home.

She had tried to deny it. She knew that she could never replace what Lily had lost, was afraid to even try. But that didn’t mean that there was nothing between the two of them. Their relationship – their friendship – had … progressed. Things weren’t so awkward around them, now. Sometimes, Sandra was able to forget completely about her worries that Lily was just tolerating her, didn’t really want her around.

She tried to do that now, as Lily walked into the palace bedroom they had been sharing for the past few days. There was a grand ceremony being thrown in their honor, thanking them for everything they had done, and this was their accommodations. They were still celebrating in the streets, actually – Sandra could hear them, the sound carried on the cool night air from the open window – but she hadn’t wanted to partake in it alone, and Lily had been caught up in official business that didn’t involve her. Not everyone was as receptive to her, as an interloper in their world.

“Welcome back,” she said softly, smiling. “How was the meeting? Did you still want to go down to the celebration, or are you too tired?” She flushed, realizing she had asked too many questions at once. “Sorry. Uh, let’s start with – how are you?” She still wasn’t used to this – having someone who was willing to listen to her for an extended period of time. Back in her original world, she had to ask all she needed to know, as quickly as she could, before whoever she was talking to lost interest.

The prince of Shoria was known for two things. The first was his remarkable gifts, a level of magic rarely seen by one outside the purview of the Shadowmists. He was able to sense a history by touching something, or someone. The second was his personality, which was not always the most respectful of another person’s authority, nor personal space boundaries. The Handsy Prince he had become known in parts of the Eastern Kingdoms. Lilliel pulled her hand out of his for what seemed like the thousandth time, doing her best to smile politely. “And, yes, I do think that will be all, Your Highness,” she concluded.

He had been displeased, to say the least, about Sandra’s presence and interference, but by the time he had confronted Lilliel about it, it was too late. She had come to feel attached to the girl, in a way she was not yet ready to put into words. Sandra was...steady, always there, always watching and listening and understanding. To be the object of her attention, ever, left Lily at a loss for what to say, and to watch her make decisions about how to defeat the power they had faced was remarkable. So when the prince tried to speak ill to her, she had held her ground, his criticism firming her feelings all the more. He did not respond kindly, though he was hardly angered, given how much they had been able to save. “Go,” he replied instead, and so she had.

To Sandra, as she had been wanting to do all day. To the way her eyes lit up when Lily walked into the room, and the soft, low music of her voice. Lilliel smiled at the barrage of questions that met her when she arrived, lowering herself onto the cushioned seat in the room they’d been given to share. “I am tired, but I am happy to go with you if you want,” she replied, closing her eyes and allowing the moment of peace to settle in over her. “I am fine. The crown prince has agreed to perform reparations on his own, and I promised him that we would fortify the walls of the Shadowmists around Shoria.” Her eyes cracked open. “Not we as in us. We...all of the Shadowmists.” She couldn’t pinpoint the moment she’d begun to think of Sandra as belonging in the Shadowmists. From the moment her magic had manifested, it was clear that Sandra did belong, but when had Lily become so accustomed to it? Or to her presence, or to the quiet way she seemed to comfort her. It was more to think about, and after such a day, she did not want to trouble herself so.

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Here it was. Everything faded away until it was just Lilliel – Lily – in front of her. In another context it might have been romantic. Sandra didn’t let her thoughts drift that way, or at least she told herself she didn’t. She told herself that while noticing the warmth of Lily’s hand in her own, though, so her success wasn’t as complete as she wanted it to be. She took a deep breath, steadying herself. It was time for her to tell Lily what she knew.

“In the second book, um … You were told of some strange happenings in the Northern Pass of the Myrele Mountains. People going missing, or coming back with tales of strange creatures. You spent time interviewing people in a village nestled at the foot of the mountains, a place called Enoch. People talked about strange lights and ominous whispers that seemed to get closer every night. You looked through the pass again and again, but you didn’t find anything. A few chapters – er, weeks later – Enoch went up in flames.”

So many memorable characters – innocent people – died in that fire. She had the chance to change it. “It wasn’t the mountain, you see. Er, not exactly. It was a person, one of the people you interviewed and got to know, an innkeeper named Arbelle. She knew you were looking, so she hid what she was doing – which was taking the restless spirits of travelers who died and became trapped in the … in the …” In the gap between the Shadowmists and the real world, she had meant to say. But that was a complicated subject, and Lily didn’t even know that that gap existed yet. “I, um, don’t want to overload you with information,” she said. “There’s so much you should know, really …” She took a deep breath. “I can tell you everything, on our way to Enoch. And we can sort of play it by ear – figure out what is still a thing, and what isn’t.”

There was a quality to Sandra’s voice too. Something soft and warm and sliding, like the feeling of satin against her hand. She’d touched satin once, years ago, on a trip to a castle in the Western Kingdom. It had stuck with her, the way the cloth slid between her fingers. Sandra’s voice would stick with her too now, she was sure. The way it glided through the air, the way it shook with words she hadn’t said yet. 

Perhaps words she wouldn’t say. Lilliel worried that perhaps Sandra would never say the missing piece, but perhaps that was the fear talking. Lilliel had so much fear. Whatever this was, it was unknown, and for the first time, she was facing it without...without...without...Melitta. But it wasn’t her. Not the woman, just the power. Without what Melitta could do. She was afraid, above all else, of being hurt and that being permanent. But to say so would tell Sandra she didn’t trust her and, irrational as it was, Lily did. She trusted Sandra. Her fear didn’t stop that, even if it didn’t make sense.

So she took in the information Sandra was giving, biting her tongue to stop from asking about the rest. “We’ll have plenty of time to talk.” Enoch was not far from the border of the Shadowrealm, but it was leagues north of here, though space meant very little in a place that was always shifting its exact location. They would be at least two days travel, though, before they reached the city’s outer gates, and then a day, perhaps two, before they reached the center. Lily did not know where the in was, but she had a feeling it would be obvious, now that she knew what to look for. An innkeeper, with a name, who could hide power that great could not be hard to find. “Are  you ready? I’d like to leave sooner rather than later. Now that we’ve decided, the Priestess will be charged to send us out, and the weather today is good for starting a long trip.” Fortunate winds were blowing, tossing Sandra’s hair in a playful, distracting way.

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You know it’s important, right? “I know.” She didn’t really know until the moment she walked in and faced them, but any lingering confusion about them being real disappeared the moment she saw them in the flesh. Maybe some tiny corner of her brain had continued to insist that the Council were storybook creatures, not to be feared, but … there was something to be said for standing in their presence. There was something to be said for the weight of their request, hovering over her head.

Over their head. Sandra took a deep breath, squeezing Lilliel’s hand. In this moment, a little gesture like this felt more than natural. It felt right. “Lilliel … You know how, before. I … read about you? And your adventures with …” She trailed off. The pregnant pause didn’t feel much kinder than Melitta’s name, really. She wished she had phrased it some other way, but even she couldn’t reverse words. And even if she could, she didn’t think that would be very fair to Lily.

“Well,” she said. “What they were talking about … Also happened, in the books. So, I know what’s causing it.” She frowned. It sounded too certain, which was not at all how she felt. “I think I know what’s causing it, anyways. I could be wrong, I was wrong before – at the beginning, when I thought it was just a dream, I wasn’t afraid because the demon wasn’t supposed to come yet, and it did, so it took me by surprise, and …” She trailed off, giving her head a hopeless little shake. She was rambling, and she knew it, but she couldn’t seem to help it.

In truth, Lilliel could not tell if it was better when Sandra knew what was going to happen, or when she did not. After all, there had been no major occurrences which she had predicted successfully, since her presence had changed things, but at the same time, anything Lilliel knew made her safer, more able to approach the problems at hand, whatever they were. The Wise woman cautioned against looking too closely into the future or relying on seers and prophets, but did not have wisdom to share about Sandra. If she had, she would have shared it. Perhaps, that meant that no one had any stronger feelings on the issue that Lily herself.

“Yes, I did think that was--” She cut herself off, glancing down at their joined hands. At that place of contact and warmth, where the two of them were connected. “Not that I wanted you to join because of that,” she clarified, unsure how to explain herself. “But I had, er, hoped that you might, if only because that helps me. You’ll be safer if I know what I’m facing.” Taking Sandra’s hand more firmly, she led the other woman to a large bounder, half-sitting on it with her eyes still fixed on Sandra.

It was midday now, with the high sun taking the fog that marked dawn in the Shadowmists and turning it into a sort of haze. Everything she could see seemed soft, almost unfocused, except Sandra. She alone stood in sharp contrast to the sun-faded land around them, as if the magic in the air itself tuned its powers into making her look more than real. “Is it something you can talk to me about?”

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We should talk. In any other context, those words would make her anxious. But considering the fact that those same words were hovering on her own lips when Lily spoke, all she did was nod gratefully. “Yeah. We do.” She looked around, pushing her hair back from her face, hardly aware of the fact that her other hand was still in Lily’s.

This was … overwhelming, to say the least. But to be honest, things had been overwhelming from the moment she woke up in that bed next to Lily. She couldn’t just use that as an excuse to not act. Lily had been nothing but kind and accepting of her, in a situation where literally anyone else would have been forgiven for being cross. She deserved a partner who was actually going to be helpful. Sandra wanted to be that for her. And that meant telling her what she knew. It was intimidating, thinking of telling the Council … but it wasn’t intimidating, thinking of telling Lily. Because Lily would understand.

“Is there somewhere private we could go?” She shifted from foot to foot, finally noticing the way their fingers were laced together. Trying on a smile, she squeezed the other girl’s hand softly. “It’s just … there’s a lot I’m still trying to, y’know, unpack? it’d be … easier if I knew it was just the two of us.” She … didn’t like how that made her sound. She was trying to be better than the cowering person Lilliel had to think of her as by now. She tried playing it off as a small joke. “You know, the Council is really intimidating in person.”

Lilliel was relieved that Sandra agreed--it would have been more awkward still if she had not wanted to discuss things. There was so much Lily wanted to say, about the incident and the Court events and the step the two of them had just taken, knowingly or unknowingly. At least Sandra was here to hear it. With...other people Lily had traveled with, discussion was not always welcome. She had always been a doer.

Nodding at the request, she squeezed the hand back, beginning to walk away from the citadel. As a rule, the farther from the building, the less likely to find the Council. They were nothing if not reclusive. “It is a lot,” she replied softly, walking them farther and farther, feeling the way the air got lighter and lighter, with less and less magic. “They are intimidating. I try not to need to go to them with many problems, which is why this--this incident--you know it’s important, right?”

It felt stupid to have to say so to Sandra. Of course Sandra knew. It was possible, likely even, that Sandra knew more than she could say in front of the Council, which was why she wanted privacy. “Do--uh, is this okay for now?” She wondered for a moment if she should slide her hand out from the other girl’s, but the contact helped. It bolstered her, giving her a strength she didn’t want to address.

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Sandra didn’t know what she expected from Lily’s answer. And so she did her best not to expect anything at all. She didn’t want Lily to feel like there was a right or a wrong answer here. There was enough pressure on her from the High Court; she didn’t need more from Sandra herself. She tried to keep herself as composed as possible as Lilliel turned to face to court.

Still, when she spoke, Sandra let out a breath that she hadn’t realized she had been holding. Lily said yes. Lily … Lily wanted her by her side. She felt the strangest urge to cry again, but she managed to hold it back. She didn’t want to get emotional in front of the Court, not when she was just beginning to prove herself as a mage. She didn’t want to be seen as weak or unfit. She turned to Lily as the other spoke.

“Meant to be …” she echoed quietly, thinking. It was so hard for her to believe. Nothing about her being here was meant to be, or even of her own merit. She was brought her by Melitta’s own unhappiness, a chess piece moved unthinkingly to fill the hole that the healer had left behind. But hearing Lily say it in such a sure tone … It was almost enough to make Sandra believe that fate did have a hand in this. She smiled – just the ghost of a smile – at Lily before nodding.

Then, she turned to the Court. “If that is how Lilliel feels … Then, of course, I’d be honored to accompany her.” She didn’t want to promise them anything. Her knowledge of events might be useless. She’d tell Lily, when the time came, but telling the High Court didn’t feel quite right. Not when she was so unsure. She promised only what she could reasonably hope to give. “I promise to … to do my best, to keep her … um, us, safe.” As far as proclamations went, it wasn’t very strong. But it was something.

The Court barely waited to hear Sandra’s answer before beginning to move. Of course, in appearance, they waited for the woman to finish speaking, but Lilliel could see the shirt from the moment it was clear she was giving her consent. Shreds of magic moving about, opinions showing on the faces of certain members. Lily preferred to think of the whole Court as shadow people, nameless, faceless, mysterious, operating with the Priestess alone. But in this instance, with the nerves pulsing, she was grateful for their power. They willed for Sandra and Lilliel to go together, and so it was.

“The Shadowmists send you blessings,” the Priestess said after the brief silence that did follow Sandra’s admittedly halting words. She didn’t sound so certain, and Lily wished more than anything that she knew how to make her certain. But, if anything, Sandra had that power to herself. She had a better chance of knowing what they were facing than Lily herself. With those words from the Priestess, though, there was no choice anymore. If the Shadowmists blessed a journey, it meant the Priestess saw it as destined. 

“Thank you,” Lilliel said, finding her voice before someone else in the Court did. “We will go to prepare,” she added. Sliding her hard to Sandra’s, she interlaced their fingers and gave a light pull, taking the other woman outside without saying another word. Once the fresh air filled her lungs, she turned to face Sandra properly. “We should talk.”

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Sandra could only stare blankly at Lilliel, trying to process her words. She couldn’t have heard that right. She could not have heard that right. There was no way that she could be ready … could ever be ready for the …

The Event in the Eastern Kingdom.

It was the evil spirits of the Myrele Mountains from the second book. It had to be. It had been Sandra and Melitta’s first clue as to what was really causing the rogue creatures to leak into the lands that the Shadowmists protected. But … everything was different now. Melitta was gone. How much of the story had left with her?

“I see Lilliel has been catching you up on the current state of affairs,” the Priestess said. “What do you think of our proposal?”

If this question had been posed to Sandra a few weeks ago, the first thing she would have felt was fear. Or confusion. But Sandra had learned and grown. She didn’t always feel like she fit in, but she was closer to it than she had ever been back home. And so the first thing she felt when asked was a rush of elation. And she thought, I could help. I know how the story’s supposed to go, I can save Lily so much time, I could …

Lily. Sandra felt worry creep up on her, killing the smile that was only half-spread across her cheeks. She couldn’t put her own … childish daydreams above the other woman’s feelings. So she looked from Lily to the Priestess and back again. “I think … I’d like to know how Lilliel feels about all of this, ma’am. Miss. Er … Priestess.”

For Lilliel, who felt strongly that everything was happening all together too quickly now, was rapt with Sandra’s reaction. The way she stared, first confused, then perhaps afraid, and then excited, only to end in concern--it told a story, one she wasn’t entirely sure she understood. For a fleeting moment, Lily wondered what Sandra’s own stories, the stories of the Shadowmists she’d rad, said about the threat. Was it there? Did she have answers? If she did, would they even be of use anymore?

That line of questioning, though, only lead down a dark path. Since finding Sandra’s magic, Lilliel preferred to think that her ever appearing in another world, especially that cold, damp, grey one, was a mistake. Sandra belonged here, in the fine, warm glow of the citadel. She had magic. What bigger sign could there be? 

That gave Lily her true answer, and so she turned, addressing the whole High Court, rather than just the Priestess herself. “The Shadowmists cares for its own. Sandra came in to her power with just enough time to grasp it before the events, and so...so...” Here, she lost some stam. What was she thinking? “I would like to keep Sandra with me. I swear to keep her out of harm’s way. I’ve enough healing magic to bring her back to the Wise Woman if need be.”

She turned, her eyes searching Sandra again, looking for her reaction, not sure what she wanted to see. “And I can’t help but feel as though that’s meant to be,” she concluded, those words only meant for Sandra, though surely the whole room heard them. It was so silent, Lily worried they heard her very heart beating.

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Sandra always felt a bit nervous, when she was called into the High Priestess’s Court.

It had been a little over a month since she had first reversed the water glass, and in that time, her powers had flourished. And she had gotten much more comfortable, more confident with the idea that she was meant to be here. A lot of that was thanks to Lily, but a good part of it was because of her own determination and amazement at her own power. She knew all of that, and yet … there was always a little voice in the back of her mind that whispered, “You’re on borrowed time here. You’re an imposter. Any minute, they’ll realize their mistake and send you back home.” The voice got quieter every day … But it was still there. And Sandra didn’t think it would ever really go away.

So it was with a bit of nervousness that she stepped into the regal-looking room. And when she saw that it wasn’t just the High Priestess, but the entire High Court standing there, she got a bit more nervous. But the icing on the cake was seeing Lily, standing before them. It was highly unusual, for the High Priestess to see multiple mages at the same time. She walked in cautiously as the High Court chattered amongst themselves. As far as she was concerned, it was fine that they didn’t notice her just yet. “Lily, what is this?” she asked the blonde mage quietly.

When Lilliel was told by the Priestess of her plan, it was late the night before. She had been readying for bed when the Priestess just appeared, as if she’d been there the whole time, and informed her of the situation out on the northern pass of the Myrele Mountain range. Lilliel took the information in quietly, nodding and shoring up her best calm. Getting upset would do no good--not when she needed to conserve her energy. They both knew the dangers, and without...without a healer, there was nothing more that could be said. 

Still, Lily hated to leave the Priestess waiting while she gathered her thoughts. So she said the safest thing she could think of, at least in the Priestess’s eyes. “And what of Sandra? If I--” She didn’t want to say the word, though its spectre loomed already. “What will become of her?”

“The Shadowmists cares for its own. It provides what is needed.” For a moment, the woman stared into Lilliel, and she did not flinch under the gaze. She’d grown up under that gaze, always being taken apart and weighed against the expectations the Priestess must hold of her.

The next time the topic was brought to her, it was in the Court, surrounded by the others, and Lily did not have wors that time. What they were proposing...it didn’t seem right to have the conversation without its subject in the room. And when she walked in, Lilliel was suddenly struck by how unfair it would be. 

“We, uh, there has been an event. In the Eastern Kingdom. A-and there is some talk that, perhaps, you should come with me,” she said slowly, whispering so no one else would hear the oversimplified explanation.

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Sandra stared at the colors, entranced, until Lily touched her arm. And Sandra noticed for the first time the way Lily seemed to pull the lights to her. Or at least, that was what it seemed like. Perhaps they froze when they got near her, but from Sandra’s viewpoint, it looked more like Lily was … taking them into herself. Until she glowed just as brightly, just as beautifully …

There was something there between them, right then. Seconds that ticked by as they stared into each other’s eyes. But when Lily spoke, they were the words of a friend. And those words meant just as much to Sandra as the glance did – more, even. She put a hand to her mouth, words slipping past her fingers. “I belong –” Tears welled up in her eyes, and a sob burst suddenly from her throat, mixed with an embarrassed laugh.

“Sorry,” Sandra said, still smiling as she wiped away the tears with the heel of her palm. “Sorry, it’s not – God, I’m just so … happy.” How long had she waited for this? How many years had she spent providing background for a story that wasn’t her own? The empty months after Blaire left her, it had been like she had stayed at a party long after everyone wanted her to go home. A party no one had even wanted her in, anyways. But here … even in the circumstances … She was accepted. She belonged.

Sandra’s tears were unexpected, but they made sense. After what Lilliel had seen and heard, all the details of Sandra’s story--not even her story, unfair and tragic as that was--if someone had told her she belonged, she would cry too. Through everything else she’d been through, at the very least, she’d always belonged here. In the Shadowmists, a place that was always nearby. The idea of Sandra, alone and not even belonging in her own world near about broke her heart.

Lily couldn’t help but take another step forward, sliding her hand to hold Sandra’s. Here, in this beautiful place, where the magic that was her moved and shifted, but never actually left the space, it seemed safe, somehow. Like it would be okay, anything she did would be okay, just for this moment. “You belong here,” Lilliel repeated, her voice dropping to a soft promise. “Here.” With me. She did not add the words, didn’t even understand them, but once they appeared in her head, she couldn’t deny that they were there, whatever baggage they may bring for her.

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Lily was happy for her. Sandra knew that she would be, but seeing it actually happen still made her feel pleased. Lilliel was the closest thing she had to a friend … Sandra hoped she considered her a friend, anyways. And when she had figured it out, Lily was the first person she wanted to share this with. Seeing her so happy only made her feel more excited.

And there was so much to be excited about! Sandra was seeing the world with new eyes. If she focused, she could see a thousand paths in front of her. Focusing on Lily, though … it was different around her. She couldn’t see … whatever this was, around Lily. She wondered if what the other girl said was true – if she could really heal people. Maybe her powers didn’t extend that far … But then again, she was new. She had plenty of time to learn. And if she learned to heal … Well, what then?

Before she could get too far into that thought, Lilliel was pulling on her hand. “Uh, what? Wait!” She stumbled after her, taking a moment to catch her footing. “Why …” She trailed off suddenly, looking up. Above their heads … it was beautiful. Sparkling trails of green and blue swirled and met and parted again, dancing through the sky in elegant patterns. Sandra watched with wide eyes, unconsciously clutching at the blonde’s arm. “Oh, Lily, it’s beautiful!”

Lily had been inside the Ring many times. Hell, she’d just been inside the Ring to perform her rite, and though the center was impressive, she’d seen it several times. That did not stop the awe she felt standing inside the center next to Sandra. The magic there responded to her even more, shifting and changing its movements. As always, the magic that approached her just froze, glowning and changing colors as it navigated her. But the spirals above seemed to want to show off for Sandra. The sight was extra impressive.

Or, perhaps, Lily was just seeing it through different eyes. The two watched for a long time--Lilliel could not say how long--before she finally touched Sandra’s arm, bidding the girl to turn to her. When she did, it was as though something had changed between them as well. Lily was at once self-conscious and certain that there was something she was meant to do there, in that moment. Ridiculously, her thoughts shifted to the rite she’d performed that morning, and the non-answer it produced.

She searched Sandra’s face, wondering where the key would be, before realizing that she was almost certainly staring uncomfortably. She turned away with a blush, staring at her feet instead. “I’d been afraid to take you here, but you belong now.” Not just in the Ring, but in the Shadowmists itself. Sandra belonged, and perhaps that was what had changed, but Lily somehow doubted it.

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Sandra didn’t have a word to put to this feeling, because she had never felt it before, but the word was powerful. It was strong enough that she didn’t do her usual worryfest over whether or not she was bothering the other mage. The excitement on the blonde’s face was enough to keep her spirits high and soaring.

“Lily, it was incredible!” She laughed, unable to believe the words herself as they passed from her lips. “It was … there was a glass of water, on a table, and I … I mean, they didn’t even tell me what I was supposed to do with it. I knocked it over by accident.” Another laugh. “Except, um … God, it’s so hard to explain … The glass was shattered, on the floor. But I could see … I could see it on the table, as well. Like … Like the after-image you see of something when you stare at it for a long time, and then close your eyes.” It was the closest she could get to explaining it. “And I … I moved the glass back to that state. With my mind. It’s like I turned back time, but only for that object. The High Priestess called it the power of Reversal.”

She shook her head, a wide smile on her face. “I can’t believe it, Lily! It’s like …” She paused, really thinking about the words she was about to say. “Everything feels different now,” she said gently, almost awed. It was true, she realized. There was something … different, in the air about her. Different but not. “The magic,” she said, thinking out loud. “The magic of the Shadowmists. I can feel it now … maybe I always could. But now I’m aware of it.” She smiled, unbelieving. “It’s so … amazing!”

Almost instantly, Kayleigh found herself swept up in the excitement Sandra was feeling. She was no empath by nature, but the other woman’s cheer was palpable and contagious. A smile stretched across her face, laughter rising up in her throat. “Sandra, that’s wonderful!” she said, stepping closer to her. “With Reversal you can do so many things! You can fix things, restore damaged property, even...” She pressed her lips together, not sure if it was too soon to bring it up. But here, by the Ring, things felt clean. It seemed that anything could be safe. “Even healing, with enough practice.” 

The magic seemed stronger around Sandra, too, moving in whorls and spirals, as though it was reversing itself in her presence, as though awakening her powers changed the magic around her. Or maybe, now that she could feel it, Sandra was unconsciously activating it. Lilliel didn’t very well understand how magic worked. All she knew was what she could feel and, evidently, that didn’t tell her very much either.

“It is,” she agreed, turning her attention back to what Sandra was saying. Now was hardly the time to contemplate, or stare off into the distance wistfully. Now was the time to focus, and to celebrate with her newfound friend. Actually, she had an idea... “Come with me!” She said suddenly, taking Sandra’s hand and pulling her into the center of the Ring, where the magic was the strongest.

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Sandra had been staring at the glass of water for what felt like an hour now. She wasn’t told what she was supposed to be doing with it – maybe even the High Priestess didn’t know, and she was just guessing. Either way, she decided to reach out and touch it, but the knowledge that she was being watched made her hands shake. Instead of picking it up, she knocked it to the floor, shattering it.

“No … Oh, no, I’m …” Sandra started reaching for it, although she didn’t know what she was planning on doing with a bunch of broken glass … and then she stopped. Something was glittering in there air. She blinked, and it was gone. But now that she knew it was there, it was easy to focus on. Like finding an unfamiliar light switch in the dark – she didn’t have to see it, but she could. She could see droplets of water hanging in the air, could chart the descent and shattering of the glass … could see it sitting on the table where it had once been. She couldn’t see it, not really, but … she also could. It was impossible to describe, but equally impossible to not understand.

Feeling like she was in a trance, she lifted her hand. She fixed the shattered glass with her eyes … and watched as it began to trace the path she both saw and didn’t see, coming together, floating through the air … and setting back up on the table, totally unharmed. Sandra drew in a deep, shuddering breath, realizing that she had been holding hers. As she stared at the glass – and it really was just a glass, now – the sound of clapping started behind her. “Well done, Sandra,” said the High Priestess. “You have the power of reversal.”

There was only one person she wanted to share this with. So as soon as she was able, she set out, looking for a certain blonde mage. “Lily? Lily!” She felt giddy, light. She felt like a completely different person. “Lily, you were right!”

The Meditation of the Eastern Ring was one of the most sacred rites of the Shadowmists. It was said that before the Priestess, before even the first Wise Woman, mages could pray at the edge of the Eastern Ring, and Wisdom, incarnated as an ethereal being, would come to them, answering their questions. One did not need to be a mage to perform the rite, but it was something all mages held dear. It was where one went to consult a power even higher than the Priestess, or wiser than the Wise Woman.

Lily found herself there now, eyes closed, hands folded on her lap, listening to the sound of the wind over the grass Ring, hoping for answers to a question she didn’t even know how to ask. There was something she was feeling, or thinking, or sensing, and knew not what it was. But in that spot, holy even among all other places of the Shadowmists, she could feel power rising and falling around her, thicker and more water-like than anywhere else, practically tangible. She felt temperature shifts as the magic was pulled, to be used by whoever was calling it.

And then there was a shattering sensation, and a voice, high and enticing, behind her. “Lily, you were right.” It pulled her from her trance, and she turned, dazed, to see a figure outlined by the glow of the citadel. She looked not unlike the angels in the books the Wise Woman used to read her. “Wh--Sandra,” she said as the girl approached. “What was I right about?” But she didn’t need to ask. As the words passed her lips, she knew. “You did something. Oh! Sandra, that’s wonderful!” She smiled, stepping away from the spot she’d been sitting at. “What happened? Do tell me everything!”

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Something happened. Sandra wasn’t sure what, but there was some shift in the air between them. And suddenly, Lily was … off. Sandra got the feeling that Lily hadn’t actually heard her at all – brushing off admittance that she wasn’t feeling welcomed or even treated as human with a vague statement. And she couldn’t help feeling a bit hurt, since she was trying so hard to be open and honest.

But she knew she was being irrational. And she probably didn’t deserve to feel hurt, anyways, not after all Lily had done for her. So she just said, in a quiet voice, “I guess.” She looked out at the horizon – it felt easier that way, for some reason. Looking at Lily … well, it was hard. Because she was so beautiful, and Sandra had spent so long thinking about her, fantasizing about holding her hand … and now she was here, she was real, and none of it felt right. The wanting and longing was always there, in the back of her mind, but given the circumstances, it didn’t make her feel anything but guilty.

“It’s just … Even if it is true, if there is … something, in me … What does that prove? I still don’t know if I’ll ever feel like I belong here … or anywhere. Finding out the truth about … Well.” She heaved a deep sigh, looking over at the other girl in spite of the small twinge in her heart that happened when she did so. “I’m sorry, Lily. You’ve been through a lot, you don’t deserve me … you know, unloading on you like this.” Somehow, she managed to make even her mental promise to be honest into something selfish.

What did it prove? Well, to Lilliel, it would have been obvious. Anyone with magic was a child with the spirit of the Shadowmist in them, and that meant something. Lily was the child of the Shadowmists. If Sandra had some of it inside of her, then they were part of the same whole. It gave some explanation to why Sandra hadcome here, why Lily felt like she could be drawn to Sandra. Not that she was drawn to her, just that she could be. Lily liked when the Shadowmists could explain things; it was familiar.

“It’s okay,” Lily assured her. How many times had she said that to Sandra already? The poor dear was so unsure, she couldn’t even ask for a shoulder to lean on. She turned to look at the girl, watching her face in profile. It was strange--some moments, she looked just like her, and other moments, it was like Lily couldn’t even imagine confusing them. “You--you’re allowed to talk. And I’m the only one here you know, so...” It must have been awful, her being here tested and prodded at, yes, but totally alone while it happened. 

Sandra needed someone to support her, and Lily wanted to be that someone. “If they find something--no, when they find whatever power you have,” she corrected. “We know they’ll find power, so when they do, it will show that you are a part of this place. Here. Not whatever story you were supposedly in before. This one.” With me. 

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Sandra’s eyes fluttered closed as Lily explained what magic felt like. She was trying to imagine it, yes … but deep down, she was also just enjoying the warmth that was radiating off of the other girl. It was so comforting, to be close like this. Although she hadn’t slept well since the night the truth came out, she was dangerously close to nodding off. She straightened up in a hurry.

“O-Oh,” she said, pushing her hair back … but using the hand that wasn’t holding Lily’s to do it. “I … I guess I will.” The other’s words were comforting, but she couldn’t help doubting them. “Did you really?” She leaned forward a bit, eyes roaming Lily’s face, wanting an answer she couldn’t possibly give … wanting an answer that left no room for doubt. Doubt, unfortunately, was Sandra’s specialty.

She realized what she was doing a second too late, and felt her face heat up in embarrassment. “I’m sorry,” she said, although she wasn’t quite sure what she was apologizing for. The prolonged eye contact? She looked down at their linked hands, biting her lip. “It’s just … It’s nice, talking to you. You … know me as a person, a little. The people here are just trying to help, but … it’s hard not to feel like a little bit of a … I don’t know … a specimen? A what, not a who …” She looked up at Lily, shyly. “Am I making any sense?”

In truth, Lilliel had been kissed exactly three times before Melitta. Twice were kisses from visiting sorcerers, but given her lack of interest in men, she hardly counted them as anything more than polite indulgences made out of curiosity on her part. One of them had been her first kiss. The other time had been a woman who had come to train with the Priestess and...well. Lilliel had never experienced anything like that moment before an unexpected kiss. A rush of nerves. Breath catching; heart quickening. It was an anxious and satisfying feeling all at once.

So Lilliel was familiar with the feeling when it hit her. That was not what took her off-guard. What took her off-guard was feeling it when she did. Where she did. With whom she did. She jerked her hand, meaning to pull it away, but finding herself oddly unwilling to. Holding Sandra’s hand was warm. Why would she let go? The kiss thing was troublesome, yes. But it was in her head. With all the stress and emotion and change, surely there was some explanation. And, for goodness sake, Sandra looked like--

She couldn’t bear to finish the thought. Couldn’t say her name, not even in her own head. Instead, she tried to regain enough composure to reply to whatever Sandra had said. What had she said? “Oh, yes, well. They--they can be a little rough in their dealings,” she replied, assuming the topic was still the mages and the Priestess. “But I know what I--we,” she corrected, given her recent thoughts. “The Priestess, and I. I know what we both felt. It’s there. You just need to let things run their course.”