Dump Truck

My hidey hole of treasures and junk.

[ladyvaude]

I’m so tired of it all and I’m closing my world in even smaller and smaller as time goes by. I’m at the point where I don’t want to let anyone in at all. 

I can’t stop thinking about how someone was chosen over me and I was just discarded like I was nothing to you. Which I was. I was nothing. And I know that’s not because of me. I know that I’ve got an amazing personality, that I have one hell of a heart and a beautiful soul, 

I’m cute and I’ve got my physical and emotional flaws and it’s not you that I miss. 

I miss companionship, intimacy and company I could rely on on the weekends. I miss cuddling and kissing. 

I waant my Friay or Saturday nights to be with the same person, ordering takeout and watching a silly movie while cuddling, but I don’t want it with a stranger. 

There’s no one. There’s no one. 

I’ve survved so much rejection this yeaar,, it’s amazing. 

[remanence-of-love]

[lucifelle-deactivated20241017]

These pains you feel are messengers. Listen to them.

Rumi  (via reincarnatedangel)

[thegypsyandthemoth]

Rumi-

[sunsethoex]

Physically I'm here but mentally I'm living in an old, abandoned castle running around in silk gowns.

[juansendizon]

Forgive yourself for having an innocent heart that made you trust the wrong people. Forgive yourself for having a destructive heart that made you into someone you weren’t proud of. Forgive yourself for having a sensitive heart that caused you to cut off some relationships that it couldn’t handle. Forgive yourself for having a wanting heart that didn’t know when to stop taking and taking and taking until the giving was forgotten. Forgive yourself for all the hearts you had and trust that you have the courage and caringness to make your heart into something pure and beautiful. Forgive yourself and say, “I’m sorry for all the pain it took to change you, my sweet, sweetheart.”

Juansen Dizon, Sweetheart (via juansendizon)

Just wow!

[ladyvaude]

To be honest, you disgust me. 

Or do I disgust myself for letting you touch me. 

For letting you trick me,

into loving you again. 

Into giving to you again. 

You: I miss you.

Me: You miss the way I made you feel. 

Why didn’t I listen to myself, my insight, my instincts? Why didn’t I stop it there?

Because I missed the way you made me feel too. 

You never made me feel loved. 

But you made me feel attractive and wanted. 

Until this time when you discarded me for someone younger and prettier. 

You: You really are attractive when you try. 

Me, thinking - I am not here to be a gemstone that someone wears on their finger, to stare at. 

Me, thinking - I never once judged you for your disability, mental illness, poverty.

Me: What was I to you for two years?

You: Undefined.

You actually used that word, along with describing all the things you loved about a woman you just met. 

I pray that I am never capable of the cruel words and emotional abuse that you did to me. 

I feel hardened though, and I think cruel things towards you. 

I think cruel things for you and I really mean them. 

[ladyvaude]

[ladyvaude]

[ladyvaude]

and I can see that you’re giving up.....

[ladyvaude]

Brokenhearted

I don't really know what this is so I'm trying it out. Anyone else in pain and angsty from a recent breakup or being dumped? Come hate post with me?

[ladyvaude]

By Lady Vaude. 

[ladyvaude]

Apology

I have to apologize before I even start this Tumblr because this is going to be a place that I can release the demons that exist in my chest. The ones that spin me round and round all day long. It’s going to be raw and unfriendly and ugly and full of run-on sentences. I don’t care and I don’t care if you care. You can leave if you are bothered by typos, slang or poor grammar. I believe that language is art and art has no mistakes. 

My apology is for the angst, vulgarity and trigger material you may find here. It’s hard being a person with emotional dysregulation and I need an outlet. 

Welcome to my tumblr. 

[ladyvaude]

Rando Dando

Never was a cornflake girl.