Just Tryin' to Belong

Name's Benny Lafitte. Pleasure to make your acquaintance. I'm a vampire, but don't worry now, I won't hurt ya. Unless you prove to be an asshole, then I might. But really, now, all I wanna do is fit in somewhere. Anywhere.

[notarighteousman]

Hell or High Water || Benny and Dean

[lafittebitesback]

He smiled faintly at the kiss. “Hot damn them lips could cure cancer, I swear,” he smiled. “Makes me feel so damn good, sugar.”

[notarighteousman]

Dean cleared his throat and smiled shyly back. “Stop that, you’re gonna make blush.” Even so, he leaned down and Kissed Benny properly, slow and sweet.

[lafittebitesback]

Benny kissed him back, sick with hunger and whatever had followed him out of that hell. sweating too much, too pale even for his own standards. His eyes were reddened, pupils too wide and he felt awful.

Except when Dean kissed him. There was nothing better than feeling those warm lips on his, that reminder that he was home with him, safe, in the only place he truly ever belonged.

When they broke away he looked up into those big green eyes and smiled. How he smiled through all of this pain he wasn't sure but he had to. He absolutely had to smile at him because he couldn't find the words to tell him how much he meant to him.

"Yo' cute when you blush," he smiled, tracing over the bridge of his nose to touch his freckles.

[notarighteousman]

Danger Zone || Dean and Benny ((Purgatory))

[lafittebitesback]

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[notarighteousman]

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[lafittebitesback]

Benny hummed around him in response, groaning at the taste of his skin. The hunter felt so incredible  and tasted even better, the quiet thrill he felt sucking on him when there was so much danger around only made it better.

He finally came up, two hands cupping each cheek in his hands and grinning at him. "I think I wan' do a little somethin' more, don' you?" He said softly, eyes bright with excitement and a different kind of hunger.

He ghosted his lips over his, biting lightly at them, grinning at him. "So whatcha say, Dean Winchester, wanna take a walk on the wild side?"

[notarighteousman]

Hell or High Water || Benny and Dean

[lafittebitesback]

He glanced at the driver when he spoke and kept his own voice quiet. “You’d know I’d rather die than let that happen, sugar. I ain’t gon’ let you down, not now.”

[notarighteousman]

"I know that, baby. I know. Don’t worry." He squeezed Benny’s hand and kissed his forehead. "It’ll be alright."

[lafittebitesback]

He smiled faintly at the kiss. "Hot damn them lips could cure cancer, I swear," he smiled. "Makes me feel so damn good, sugar."

[notarighteousman]

Hell or High Water || Benny and Dean

[lafittebitesback]

"I know. You’ve got me, and I’ll see what I can do for the tip. Alright? If it means I gotta call in some favors, for you? I’ll do it. Whatever it takes, so long as no innocent people get hurt."

He glanced at the driver when he spoke and kept his own voice quiet. "You'd know I'd rather die than let that happen, sugar. I ain't gon' let you down, not now."

[notarighteousman]

Hell or High Water || Benny and Dean

[lafittebitesback]

Benny shook his head. “Don’. Don’, it’s alright. I’ll be alright.” He assured, so very, very tired. “Don’ worry ‘bout me so much, sugar,” he whispered, kissing the mark he’d left from biting him, a pang of hatred for himself coming with it.

[notarighteousman]

A shiver worked its way through him at the cool touch of Benny’s lips. “I’m supposed to worry about you. I love you. It’s what people do. Rest if you need to, okay? We’ll be there in about twenty minutes, and you can sleep the whole way back to New York.”

[lafittebitesback]

He smiled just a little when he shivered and kissed his cheek, clinging to him. He nodded and shut his eyes. "I'm...gon' need to eat again at some point, sugar. You won' like it if I don'," he warned, looking at him with pained eyes.

[notarighteousman]

Hell or High Water || Benny and Dean

[lafittebitesback]

He rested against him, curling up beside him contentedly. He nodded at his question. “Yeah, it helped, sugar. Not much, but it did.” His eyes were closed, face radiating heat. He felt weak and tired and thirsty but he had to stay still. Had to stay right where he was for Dean’s sake.

[notarighteousman]

"Sorry I couldn’t give you more." He really was. Dean would have given Benny every drop if he could, but he knew that was unrealistic. Benny wouldn’t take more than Dean could handle.

[lafittebitesback]

Benny shook his head. "Don'. Don', it's alright. I'll be alright." He assured, so very, very tired. "Don' worry 'bout me so much, sugar," he whispered, kissing the mark he'd left from biting him, a pang of hatred for himself coming with it.

[notarighteousman]

Hell or High Water || Benny and Dean

[lafittebitesback]

As soon as the cab rolled up Dean helped him into the back, rattling off the address of the Wal-mart where he parked the Impala. It was a few miles out, but there was no way Benny could make the trip on foot.

He pulled Benny onto his shoulder and smoothed his hair. “Did eating help any, at all?” he whispered, keeping his eyes on the driver.

He rested against him, curling up beside him contentedly. He nodded at his question. "Yeah, it helped, sugar. Not much, but it did." His eyes were closed, face radiating heat. He felt weak and tired and thirsty but he had to stay still. Had to stay right where he was for Dean's sake.

[notarighteousman]

Hell or High Water || Benny and Dean

[lafittebitesback]

Dean snorted. “Sure, when you’re healed up. Until then there’s nothing for you to do except heal. And I mean that.”

When they got to the road, he pulled out his phone and ordered a taxi. “It’ll be here in about twenty minutes, Benny, can you hang on until then?”

Benny leaned against against him, sighing softly and nuzzled against his throat, standing shakily by the road. "Yeah. Yeah, I'll be alright. Dunno how much longer after that I'll be alright, but fo' now..." His head lolled against his shoulder.

[notarighteousman]

Hell or High Water || Benny and Dean

[lafittebitesback]

"Yeah, beauty rest," he chuckled. "All fevered an’ beat to hell, yo’ funny," he chuckled, starting to limp away again, clinging to him. "Thank you fo’ comin’ for me. An’ don’ start in on needin’ to get there sooner. Point is you came. Thank you."

[notarighteousman]

"I would never have left you there, Benny. Not for any reason. I love you, and when Sam fucking showed up… Tell you what, I could have hit him. I didn’t, but… I was mad. Real mad, Benny, I… I’m glad Jo’s back, she’s like a little sister to me, but I missed you. God damn, I missed you."

[lafittebitesback]

He smiled. "Then let's get on back so you can appreciate me properly. This cajun boy's gon' cure all yo' ills, swear to god," he grinned.

[notarighteousman]

Hell or High Water || Benny and Dean

[lafittebitesback]

Dean chuckled weakly. “I know for a fact there is no God, baby, but I believe you.” He kissed him back, holding him on his feet and steadying him with his arms. “I love you too. I… Hell, I’ve never even said that to Sammy.

"Come on, we gotta keep going. You need some beauty rest— starting to look pretty banged up. Not that I mind. Kinda hot when you’re a little bloody."

"Yeah, beauty rest," he chuckled. "All fevered an' beat to hell, yo' funny," he chuckled, starting to limp away again, clinging to him. "Thank you fo' comin' for me. An' don' start in on needin' to get there sooner. Point is you came. Thank you."

[notarighteousman]

Hell or High Water || Benny and Dean

[lafittebitesback]

"Baby, you have no idea how much I hate myself," Dean said, barely audible. "You might not blame me, but I know. I know it’s my fault, I know I keep putting you into these situations. I’m so fucking sorry, Benny, I— they hurt you so badly, and I could have stopped it. I could have come for you sooner, if I knew…

"It’s not okay, and it doesn’t feel okay. I feel like I let you down, and I’m so god damned sick of letting the people I care about down! I’m cursed, Sam’s cursed, my whole fucking family is cursed and you shouldn’t have to get dragged down with us! I want you too, Benny, I want you right here with me until something finally does me in or I get too old to function. But I know I’m going to lose you. I lose everyone. 

"And that scares me."

"Shh..." He whispered. "Shh, stop. You didn' know, how could ya?" He kissed him, thumbing his jaw, still weak and barely holding himself up, but he could do this for him.

"I ain't goin' nowhere ever again. I won't leave you. I swear to whatever god you may or may not believe in I ain't gon' leave you." He hugged him tighter, kissing his face. "I love you, Dean. An' I ain't goin' til you go, you hear me?" He kissed his shoulder.

"Don' you be scared, Dean. Ain't nothin' gon' take me away from you."

[notarighteousman]

Hell or High Water || Benny and Dean

[lafittebitesback]

Dean wrapped his arms around him to support him. Dammit, he didn’t want to do this! He wasn’t good at talking about feelings to begin with, but now? Bleeding, trying to get to the road? No, it was a fucking awful time to talk about things.

"Benny… I know. I know you love me. You just spent a month down there, for me, for my brother. You wouldn’t have if you didn’t. But it’s my fucking fault. I fucking asked you to do that. And you were hurt. Bitten. Tortured. That’s my fault. And when I try to make it right, when I try to make you stronger… you say you hate me.

"So yeah, I’m not doing so hot right now, and I have to deal with all the shit I’ve done to you. On top of that I’m fucking terrified for us. You told me, before you left, that you weren’t doing well up here. How the fuck am I supposed to help that? How am I supposed to show you that you belong here? It’s selfish of me to expect you to stay just for me. If you don’t want to be here, I have to send you back. So that you’re not suffering topside. I can’t kill you again, Benny, but if you really want me to? I will.

"And I will miss you every fucking day. I got you into this stupid god damned mess, and I know that. And it’s going to eat at me for the rest of my life."

Benny faced him, wrapping his wrists behind his neck and staring at him. "You' a damn, damn fool, Dean Winchester. You think I said that 'cause I really hate you? Damnit, I thought you were smarter than that."

He smoothed his cheek. "You really hate yo'self that much you think I'd go from lovin' you to hatin' you in a month? Who gives a damn if I got smacked around and beat on? Who gives a shit? I'm never gon' blame you for this. Fo' none of it. I knew what I was gettin' into. And I don' wanna die. I don't. Figured that out down there. I jus' want you."

"I said I hate you because you're a stubborn som'bitch that don't never listen." He kissed the mark he left, his knees giving out a moment. He forced himself back up. "I love you. Mo' than anything in this world, sugar. I've lived for you, I've died for you, I've kept myself from munchin' on folks 'cause of you. You damn well better believe yo' enough to stay for."

[notarighteousman]

Hell or High Water || Benny and Dean

[lafittebitesback]

"Neck’s fine. I’m fine. You don’t want this distraction, Benny, trust me. I’ll only make it worse."

You love me.  Everyone I love suffers. Everyone who loves me winds up dead. You love me, Benny, and you hate me. That’s the problem. 

Dean didn’t like keeping things from him, but right now Benny was hurt and he didn’t need to deal with Dean’s baggage.

He halted, jerking back to keep him with him. "I ain't gon' play this game with you, sugar. Not strong enough please...jus' talk to me, okay? Please?" He swayed where he stood and he couldn't keep it up for long but he could try.

[notarighteousman]

Hell or High Water || Benny and Dean

[lafittebitesback]

Benny’s expression fell, letting him go a bit. “What’s wrong?” He asked, holding his arm. “Besides the obvious, wasamatter?”

[notarighteousman]

"I don’t want to do this right now," Dean said, shaking his head. "I don’t want to talk about what’s wrong until we’re home. We’re in the middle of fucking nowhere, you can barely stand, and if we get attacked I’ve got nothing with me. My shit can wait until you’re home and fed."

[lafittebitesback]

He quieted again, grunting and limping off with him. "Might be a nice distraction, all I'm sayin'," he whispered, moving still. "Neck alrigh', ya damn fool?" He tried.

[notarighteousman]

Hell or High Water || Benny and Dean

[lafittebitesback]

Dean gritted his jaw and nodded. Sure he did. Sure he loved him. 

"I’ve been shitty," he replied, voice clipped and short. "Worried sick about you, and Sam. Just getting by, counting every day until I got to see you again."

Benny's expression fell, letting him go a bit. "What's wrong?" He asked, holding his arm. "Besides the obvious, wasamatter?"

[notarighteousman]

Hell or High Water || Benny and Dean

[lafittebitesback]

Dean helped him to his feet and began to lead him to the road. “Alright. We’re going, Benny. We’re going.”

I hate you. 

He kept his head down as they pressed on through the dark trees, trying to get Benny’s desperate voice out of his head. He had every right to hate him, of course. Dean was the reason he got sent back to that shithole, chasing after Sammy. It was his idea, and all this pain Benny was feeling was entirely his fault. 

Hell, Dean hated himself enough even without remembering the spray of blood as he cut through his neck. All my fault. Everything’s always my fault. I did this to him.

He limped along with him, holding onto him tight. "I love you," he whispered. "Goddamnit I do. Didn' say it before I lef'. I shoulda. Sorry I didn' but I love you so damn much."

He kept walking with fingers wrapped in his clothes just to be near him, listening to his heart thrum and beat. "So," he chuckled. "How you been?"

[notarighteousman]

Hell or High Water || Benny and Dean

[lafittebitesback]

"Yeah, well you and me both," Dean muttered, rubbing his back. "If you hurt me I’ll smack you around, don’t worry. But you’re not going back there. Never again, you got it?"

As Benny bit down, Dean drew in a sharp breath and squeezed his eyes shut. It hurt like fucking hell, but Benny needed it, and he needed Benny. When it started to become too much to bear, he tapped on his shoulder. “Baby, pull back. That’s… That’s all I can handle right now. We’ll find you something else to eat on the way.”

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he chanted, shaking his head. "I don' wanna stop, I wan' go with you. Jus' get the hell outta the damn woods, I don' care about whatever I need to eat or...I jus' wan' go."

He clung to him, wrapping his hands around his shoulders and kissed him gently. "Let's go. Please."