Alright all, this is gonna be the last post; posting it just to say that I am signing out of this account and do not plan to check it anymore. I’ll give 24hrs just to make sure I haven’t missed exchanging contact info with anyone who would like to do so, but then I’m outta here babey.
Thank you all so much for your support and encouragement. This year’s birthday has been leaps and bounds better. Thank you thank you thank you. 💙
Alright all, this is gonna be the last post; posting it just to say that I am signing out of this account and do not plan to check it anymore. I'll give 24hrs just to make sure I haven't missed exchanging contact info with anyone who would like to do so, but then I'm outta here babey.
Thank you all so much for your support and encouragement. This year's birthday has been leaps and bounds better. Thank you thank you thank you. 💙
TLDR: I learned recently that I’m still being stalked online by someone who used to be a close friend. They decided to end the friendship earlier this year, and have been monitoring my online presence closely since. I have tried everything I could think of to prevent them from having access to this blog, but it hasn’t worked. I might make a new tumblr, I might not. I might swap platforms altogether. I don’t know yet. But I won’t be announcing where I’m going publicly or when. You are welcome to message this blog (off of anon) to ask where to find me in the future. I’m really sorry for all the inconvenience. I’m hoping this puts an end to it.
This post will be queued for a while, so if you see it a bunch, sorry for the spammed info!
TLDR: I learned recently that I’m still being stalked online by someone who used to be a close friend. They decided to end the friendship earlier this year, and have been monitoring my online presence closely since. I have tried everything I could think of to prevent them from having access to this blog, but it hasn’t worked. I might make a new tumblr, I might not. I might swap platforms altogether. I don’t know yet. But I won’t be announcing where I’m going publicly or when. You are welcome to message this blog (off of anon) to ask where to find me in the future. I’m really sorry for all the inconvenience. I’m hoping this puts an end to it.
This post will be queued for a while, so if you see it a bunch, sorry for the spammed info!
TLDR: I learned recently that I’m still being stalked online by someone who used to be a close friend. They decided to end the friendship earlier this year, and have been monitoring my online presence closely since. I have tried everything I could think of to prevent them from having access to this blog, but it hasn’t worked. I might make a new tumblr, I might not. I might swap platforms altogether. I don’t know yet. But I won’t be announcing where I’m going publicly or when. You are welcome to message this blog (off of anon) to ask where to find me in the future. I’m really sorry for all the inconvenience. I’m hoping this puts an end to it.
This post will be queued for a while, so if you see it a bunch, sorry for the spammed info!
TLDR: I learned recently that I’m still being stalked online by someone who used to be a close friend. They decided to end the friendship earlier this year, and have been monitoring my online presence closely since. I have tried everything I could think of to prevent them from having access to this blog, but it hasn’t worked. I might make a new tumblr, I might not. I might swap platforms altogether. I don’t know yet. But I won’t be announcing where I’m going publicly or when. You are welcome to message this blog (off of anon) to ask where to find me in the future. I’m really sorry for all the inconvenience. I’m hoping this puts an end to it.
This post will be queued for a while, so if you see it a bunch, sorry for the spammed info!
TLDR: I learned recently that I’m still being stalked online by someone who used to be a close friend. They decided to end the friendship earlier this year, and have been monitoring my online presence closely since. I have tried everything I could think of to prevent them from having access to this blog, but it hasn’t worked. I might make a new tumblr, I might not. I might swap platforms altogether. I don’t know yet. But I won’t be announcing where I’m going publicly or when. You are welcome to message this blog (off of anon) to ask where to find me in the future. I’m really sorry for all the inconvenience. I’m hoping this puts an end to it.
This post will be queued for a while, so if you see it a bunch, sorry for the spammed info!
TLDR: I learned recently that I’m still being stalked online by someone who used to be a close friend. They decided to end the friendship earlier this year, and have been monitoring my online presence closely since. I have tried everything I could think of to prevent them from having access to this blog, but it hasn’t worked. I might make a new tumblr, I might not. I might swap platforms altogether. I don’t know yet. But I won’t be announcing where I’m going publicly or when. You are welcome to message this blog (off of anon) to ask where to find me in the future. I’m really sorry for all the inconvenience. I’m hoping this puts an end to it.
This post will be queued for a while, so if you see it a bunch, sorry for the spammed info!
TLDR: I learned recently that I’m still being stalked online by someone who used to be a close friend. They decided to end the friendship earlier this year, and have been monitoring my online presence closely since. I have tried everything I could think of to prevent them from having access to this blog, but it hasn’t worked. I might make a new tumblr, I might not. I might swap platforms altogether. I don’t know yet. But I won’t be announcing where I’m going publicly or when. You are welcome to message this blog (off of anon) to ask where to find me in the future. I’m really sorry for all the inconvenience. I’m hoping this puts an end to it.
This post will be queued for a while, so if you see it a bunch, sorry for the spammed info!
I had a falling out with a very close friend and... To say that the result has been messy would be an understatement. I’m happy to have moved on, I’m considerably happier as a person, but the friend doesn’t seem content to let me be. I’ve asked them to respect my space and privacy, but I don’t think they’re planning to any time soon. Which sucks, cuz I suspect that even after moving blogs they’ll still try to find me.
I’ve blocked all the tumblrs I know were theirs at some point or another, all the handles I could think of that they might go to. (So if you got blocked by my for No Reason, that might be why--sorry!) I’ve also made it impossible to view my tumblr without logging in. So it’s almost 100% a sure thing that they’ve made a new account entirely/a new identity/etc. I have no idea what it is, and have no way of finding out (tho tbh I don’t reallly want to know--I just want to have them blocked). But this means that it’s very possible they could even be straight up following this blog.
And if that’s the case, it doesn’t matter how many times I change my username, obscure my information, add layers of security, try to block all English visitors (sorry to anyone who might’ve gotten caught in that--I couldn’t figure out how to narrow it further so I ended up just chucking it out), etc etc. They’ll still be able to find me and stalk me.
So I’m starting over altogether. A new online presence, new blog, new email address, everything. It breaks my heart cuz this blog has functioned as a personal reprieve and journal for me through undergrad, law school, and serious life milestones. I’ve met a lot of wonderful people through this tumblr and I don’t want to lose them. (If you’re one of the people that talks to me regularly, please do reach out! I might reach out to you too, but it never hurts if we’re both on the ball, eh?) But I also don’t feel safe at this tumblr anymore. I’m scared that they’ll find things I post and interpret things to be about them, or find reason to lash out at me or our mutual friends. I’m scared that I’m not allowed to exist without being under constant surveillance.
When I started this blog, it was meant to be a way for me to voice my thoughts/opinions/reflections and feel like I was being seen/heard. It helped enormously and it’s helped me grow a lot as a person. I’ll always be grateful for that. Right now, however, the last thing I want to be is seen or heard by someone who wishes me harm. And I think I’ve run out of online security measures.
What all this means is that if you message me asking for information about how to contact me, I might ask you what your name is or for a selfie if I don’t remember who you are. I can’t risk just handing out my information to them directly. That’d defeat the whole exodus. && I won’t give any information at all to anons. Totally understandable if you don’t want to give that info, tho, and I encourage you to ask even if you think I don’t remember you. I promise I won’t be upset. I just can’t think of any less of a ham-fisted way of making sure they can’t follow me wherever I’m going.
I’m also likely not going to give information about my new blog (if I even decide to make one--haven’t landed on a decision there) to any mutual friends I share with them. I don’t want them harassing anyone I know and love for my whereabouts, and I don’t want them meticulously going through their notes/reblogs to try and find me. It’s just not worth it. So if you’re one of those folks, I’m sorry. I’m not going to be reachable at all via social media for a while. You didn’t do anything wrong, and I’m not upset with you. It’s just a security measure that I can’t figure out a way to get around. (if you have ideas, I’m open to listening!)
I’ll still be on Discord, (and technically facebook, but god I hate that site so much pls dont make me use it) but I’m not gonna have any online content to follow. It’s just too risky. I know they can recognize my art, etc, so. I would just rather keep mutual friends out of the line of fire entirely. They’ve been through enough, protected me enough, and already done more than any friend should ever feel the need to. I’m endlessly grateful.
For those who are worried for me: don’t be. I’m much, much happier. I didn’t realize quite how bad the situation was until I was out of it. Hindsight is 20/20, no? The only remaining negative influence of it in my life is through their stalking. Here’s hoping that this marks the end of that saga.
I’m also in the process of applying for both US and English restraining orders, for those concerned.
And to the person stalking me: Please stop. You aren’t welcome in my spaces, and I don’t want you following me. I don’t want to share my life with you anymore. I want to be able to have my space just as I’m sure you cherish yours. I don’t wish you ill, and I don’t harbour any anger or hatred for all that happened. I wish you the best in your journey, but I’ve decided that I don’t want to be there for the ride. If you can find it within your heart to let go, please do. You won’t find happiness here.
Tuca & Bertie is the sort of adult cartoon that feels like it’s like other cartoons… except it’s better. I can make a whole list but I’ll just note here that it’s got that Bro feel minus misogyny and their Adult content isn’t raunchy.
I say that having watched BoJack Horseman. The difference is that BoJack is about mental health and cultural critique whereas Tuca & Bertie is about friendship and adulting. The former is cynical, the latter is indulgent. Both have merit. I just want more indulgence.
I will be as obnoxious as I need to be in order for more people to try this show because it’s so diverse and brilliantly written. We need more adult cartoons like Tuca & Bertie.
Honestly, in my work as a therapist, I’m seeing this A Lot, and tbh I still don’t have a satisfactory approach to it. A heavy dose of Existentialist “create your own Purpose” tempered with “when the plane’s going down, put your own oxygen mask on first”, but… yeah, there is no ethical way to work on individual emotional distress without acknowledging the systemic socioeconomic, geopolitical fuckery going on at the moment, and the sheer grief that comes with it.
This is one of those areas where like on the one hand as a chronic moderate-severe depressive this shit hits me hard and on the other I’m watching people technically more mentally healthy than me struggle with the vast pointless mess of existence for the first time and it’s a trip.
Some tips from the inside, in case they help:
- life has always been pointless. Or rather, we have always been unable to control the relative point-fulness of life. The factors involved in opening the possibilities of who can have a large scale impact where are so insanely complex that they can at best only be pieced together imperfectly in retrospect
- the only thing that has changed is your awareness of this fact. No, seriously. The sun will eventually swallow the planet; at any moment without our knowledge or control the sun could flare in weird ways that will kill us all; etc. There was geopolitical and socioeconomic fuckery as bad or worse going on before: you just didn’t see it. Promise.
- you do what you can with what you have. You do what’s in front of you. Humanity has survived all of this before; it may survive it again. It may not. You can only do what you can: take what lessons exist from the past and apply them.
- sometimes it is just that bad and they are totally out to get you. The question is, what do you do about it?
- almost without exception in human history the answer has been “build community; support the one you have; reach out to connect MORE and to make the world more kind and less hateful than before.”
- recognize you’re trying to tackle god-level problems with a brain originally meant for keeping small proto-fish from being eaten. Treat that part of your brain like a very anxious toddler or rescue pitbull. Give it small measurable victories and successes even if you have to make them up. Make sure it’s fed and watered and has enough rest. Medicate it if you have to - there’s nothing wrong with that. The opposite, in fact.
We are hairless plains apes living in a thin skin of atmosphere between spinning liquid superheated death and the void of absolute cold, sustained by the radiation of a supermassive explosion that will kill us at the slightest excuse. We have always been unlikely and implausible and probably doomed which means every moment we are able to live, thrive and help others do so is an incredible victory. Don’t quit now. ❤️
Fix what is within your reach. Somedays, all you will accomplish is converting oxygen to carbon dioxide, and there’s a plant somewhere nearby that appreciates your efforts.
one of my favourite poets (and one of tumblr’s favourite poets - if you’ve ever even looked at a ship graphic you’ve probably read a stanza of his work and loved it), the incomparable Richard Siken, suffered a stroke in March. his publishers, Copper Canyon Press, set up a gofundme for his medical bills and living expenses. at this point they don’t know if he’ll make a full recovery or be able to work again.
we all owe this guy a decade’s worth of back-pay for using his poems as fic titles. if you can make a donation, please do.
you know what i don’t get? when like, people write romance stories where two characters are so in love w each other its all magnetism, but they? don’t even have fun together? or are even nice to each other sometimes?
“our love could level a thousand mountains and conquer a million cities”
ok but… are you even… like….. friends????
Don't Worry About It @technicallyvoidma - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag