Lainee Thomas.

"The sum of things to be known is inexhaustible, and however long we read, we shall never come to the end of our story-book."

[lainee-thomas-blog]

Positive | Jainee

[heyitsjmitch]

Jason laughed as she said yes but made no effort to get up. "Would you like ME to go pack a few things for you? That could be dangerous, I might accidentally forget a few things," he said with a cheeky grin. He knew if it were up to him, he'd probably only pack sexy lingerie. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

[lainee-thomas-blog]

Lainee giggled as the boy said he might forget a few things. "No I'll do it." she laughed before quickly pecking his lips and standing up. She took Jason's hand and pulled him up, dragging him to her bedroom with her. She grabbed a bag and began throwing random clothes in it.

[lainee-thomas-blog]

Positive | Jainee

[heyitsjmitch]

Jason looked at her and nodded, “Of course, you can. You’ll always have a place to stay with me.” He rubbed her back a little bit before asking, “Do you want to pack a few things? You know you can stay as long as you want.” He kissed her again. She had to believe him eventually as he proved her fears and doubts wrong.

[lainee-thomas-blog]

"Thank you." she smiled up at the boy. Lainee did know that and without realizing it, she was starting to believe that he would stay with her. Every moment he stayed here and held her and told her everything would be alright was another reason to believe he wouldn't leave. "Yeah." she told him but made no move to actually get up and go pack anything."

[lainee-thomas-blog]

Positive | Jainee

[heyitsjmitch]

Jason held Lainee in his arms and for the first time, felt her relax a little bit. Maybe she was finally starting to believe him. He hoped so. He needed her to. He stared into her eyes silently as she stared right back into his. Never had he known this kind of love existed. He had high hopes for love, but his feelings for Lainee exceeded any expectation he could ever have. 

[lainee-thomas-blog]

She leaned forward to kiss the boy deeply before speaking. "Jase... Uhm, can I just stay with you for a while...?" She asked the boy. She didn't want to be home by herself anymore. She just wanted to stay with the one person who could make her feel as though everything would be okay. Jason was the only one she wanted to be around right now.

[lainee-thomas-blog]

Positive | Jainee

[heyitsjmitch]

Jason kissed her back lovingly. Once they pulled back, he looked at her and grinned. “I ask myself the same question everyday,” he told her. Then, he assured her, “We’re going to be okay. I promise you, we’re going to be fine. I know this baby might have seemed like a problem and a complication at first, but I know that this child will be the biggest blessing in our lives. Yes, we’re young, but we are adults. We can and we will do this. Together.” He leaned down and kissed her stomach again before shifting around again and wrapping his arms around her and cuddling her. He needed her to believe in him because he wanted to marry her, but he needed her to trust him first. 

[lainee-thomas-blog]

"I know we will. All I need is you and I know we can do anything." she smiled at the boy, relaxing in his embrace. She could tell that should the boy decide he did want to raise this child with her, he would love it just as much as she would. Lainee looked up at him and placed her hand on his cheek, admiring him in silence. She loved this boy with all she had and she had a feeling that would never change. It would just, one day, have to be shared with a child. Their child.

[lainee-thomas-blog]

Positive | Jainee

[heyitsjmitch]

Jason sat up a little and turned so that he was partially hovering over her and told her, “I love you too.” He glanced down at her stomach and scooted down a little bit and gently placed his hand over her stomach and slowly inched his way down until his face was next to her stomach. He kept his hand there, softly rubbing her not yet existent belly and then spoke, “And I love you. Whoever you are, whatever your name will be, whenever you come… I’m your dad and I will always love you.” And gently, he placed a sweet kiss on her stomach before looking back at Lainee and grabbing her hand, “We’ll be okay.”

[lainee-thomas-blog]

She smiled and watched the boy and he leaned down next to her stomach. Lainee ran her hand through the boy's hair as he spoke to her stomach. Her eyes started to tear up a bit at his words. The dark haired girl looked took his face in her hand and kissed him deeply. "You're so amazing. How did I get so lucky. Wow." she grinned at him. He seemed like he really wanted this child. and that's what she needed.

[lainee-thomas-blog]

Positive | Jainee

[heyitsjmitch]

Jason just held her and kissed her head as he held her close. He knew she was having a hard time believing him, but he was determined to prove to her that he wasn’t going anywhere. He just hoped it wouldn’t take too long for her to really understand he was staying. He closed his eyes and thought about a little girl with his curls and her smile and chin dimple running around, laughing and having fun. He thought about having a son to play baseball with. He imagined going to the park with his family, holding Lainee’s hand as they attended school plays and sports tournaments. He could see it all, with Lainee. Only with Lainee. He could see a bright future. They just had to make it through the present. 

[lainee-thomas-blog]

"I love you." she whispered to the boy. Laine had always loved this boy and she couldn't imagine ever stopping, even if he did choose to leave her. He was her first love and she desperately wanted him to be her last. She tried to think about what the future would hold. She could imagine Jason getting wrapped around their daughter's little finger. All she would have to do was bat her eyelashes and he would scour the earth for what she wanted. She could see him playing sports with their little boy. And Lainee knew that if they had Jason in their lives, they would both turn out to be the most wonderful children that anyone had ever met.

[lainee-thomas-blog]

Positive | Jainee

[heyitsjmitch]

Jason chuckled slightly at her emphatic response. Jason was always more reserved than Lainee, but it was what made them a good match. However he also feared that was also, in addition to her own fears, what made him unable to really convey to her how serious he was about staying. He thought back to his original thought when she said she was pregnant: marriage. He knew it wasn't the answer. But he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her and he also thought maybe that would show her how seriously he was taking this. He's said his whole life that he only wants to get married once and that he'd rather wait for the right one than go through a lot of wrong ones. Sure, he'd dated other girls, but that was largely because he thought he had no chance with Lainee. He looked down at Lainee and kissed her again. When he pulled away, he told her, "I hate that you have no idea how much I really love you. But I'll spend the rest of my life proving it to you."

[lainee-thomas-blog]

Lainee hated how much she cared for the boy. Feelings meant vulnerability and vulnerability meant it was easier to get hurt. If she didn't let people in, they couldn't let her down but with Jason she was weak. She couldn't help but need him in her life. She wanted to let him in, she wanted him to know everything about her, she wanted him to care about her and stay with her. Those were the feelings that could get her hurt but he was worth the risk. She had always felt that way.. The only time she was unsure of that was when he left her. At that point she felt everyone left her. The people she cared the most about left her. Throughout the years he was gone, Jason was always at the back of her mind someone. She thought that was part of the reason her relationships were always short-lived. The only ones that she had ever really cared about were Zach and Connor and look how those turned out. Lainee smiled against the boy's lips. She didn't know how to respond to his words so she just nodded and hugged him tightly.

[lainee-thomas-blog]

Positive | Jainee

[heyitsjmitch]

Jason held her and pulled her closer to him on the couch so they could lie back and he could just cuddle her. He knew building the trust would take time and, as much as it hurt, he understood that. It nearly killed him to leave her the first time and he had no intention of ever doing that again. He thought back for a moment to when his family told him they were moving. He mostly didn’t want to leave because of Lainee. He feared never being able to see her again. But even though he had a huge crush on her, he never really considered it possible that she’d ever date him or consider him as more than a friend. He was such a fragile, self-conscious kid back then and was going through more insecurities because of his diabetes that he had a hard time believing anyone could feel that way for him, much less the girl of his dreams. Bringing him back to the moment they were in, he looked at her and kissed her lips. To think that not only was she his girlfriend, but could soon be the mother of his child, it blew his mind. He brought his hand up and stroked the side of her cheek. He still had so much admiration for her and not just her beauty, but her heart and her strength. She was beautiful in every way. And even though she was scared now, he knew she would be a great mom and she had the strength to get through all of this. “I love you,” he whispered to her in a soft sincere voice, “and I believe in you.”

[lainee-thomas-blog]

Lainee leaned back to lie on the couch with the boy. She moved one of her hands over her stomach and looked down at it. She may not have checked with the doctor yet but she could feel that the embryo inside of her was real. This wasn't a false alarm and she knew it. Lainee began to think about all of the things she would have to do and what she couldn't do while being pregnant. She was glad that she would have Jason, at least for a little while. If he stayed, she knew that he would be the best father their baby could ever know. His words brought her back into reality, reminding her that he was there. "I love you so fucking much."

[lainee-thomas-blog]

Positive | Jainee

[heyitsjmitch]

Jason was surprised, but delighted to see a smile back on her face as she joked with him about her parents killing him, though he knew there was a possibility that she wasn’t really joking. He grinned, “I will. And you’re welcome.” He held her closer as he kissed her back. He then moved his hand to rest on her thigh and told her, “I swear to you, I’m not going anywhere. I don’t care what anyone else says or does. I will never leave you.” He pecked her lips, “We’re going to make the most of this and we’ll learn how to be the best parents we can be.” Jason wasn’t sure how he was so calm and sure, but there was just this overwhelming sense of faith that he had that said everything would be alright and they would make it. And he knew without a doubt that Lainee was the one for him, he just hoped she really felt the same and could learn to trust that he meant every word he spoke to her. 

[lainee-thomas-blog]

Lainee nodded at the boy's words. She wished she could tell him that she believed him - No, more than that. She wished she could tell him that there wasn't a single doubt in her mind that he would ever leave her or this baby but it would take time. Not only had her father left her, but Jason had once before as well. She knew it wasn't his choice to leave but his choice or not, he had left. She couldn't be more thankful that he had come back, though. She honestly loved him more than she had loved another person before. Lainee buried her face in his chest. She just wanted to be held by him. They had had plans to have a cute date today but she didn't care about that now. She just needed to be with him, close to him.

[lainee-thomas-blog]

Positive | Jainee

[heyitsjmitch]

Jason was surprised at how Lainee’s tone went from a quiet one to a scared and urgent response. He pulled her closer to him and held her, “Okay,” he assured her, “I’m definitely not going to tell them without you. I’m sure they’d kill me. And I’ll wait to tell my mom until you’re ready. She’ll be…disappointed and probably will cry, but she’ll be supportive eventually. But I know the first thing she’ll want to do is talk to your parents, so we can just wait.”

[lainee-thomas-blog]

"They might still. I wouldn't let your guard down." She attempted to joke. "Thank you, baby." She lightly pecked his lips. She couldn't believe how calm he was being about this. She needed him and she couldn't imagine her life without him. If he did choose to leave her, she didn't know if she could handle it.

[lainee-thomas-blog]

Positive | Jainee

[heyitsjmitch]

Jason was grateful for the silence as time to pull himself together, but he was also weary of it, knowing that if Lainee wasn’t talking, something was bothering her. And of course, he knew what it was. He hoped he knew all of it and there wasn’t some other fear aside from having and raising a baby, telling her parents, and fear of him leaving them. Surely, that was enough. He sighed and kissed her head again before jumping into action, “Okay, so I think we should make a doctors appointment. They can confirm that the tests were right and you are pregnant and he can tell us when the due date is and all that, I’m assuming. Do you, uh…have one of those doctors?” He looked around the house, remembering that her parents were out of town, “When do your parents get back? Would you rather tell them first or my mom?” 

[lainee-thomas-blog]

This baby was going to ruin Jason's future. How was he supposed to help raise a baby and go to college at the same time? And what if her parents cut her off? They would both have to get jobs too. "Yeah. I'll make an appointment tomorrow." She told him quietly. Her eyes widened at the mention of telling her parents. "I can't tell them yet, Jase. I can't. We can tell your mom if you want but not my parents. Promise me you won't tell them." She asked desperately. "They'll kill me. I have to figure out the right way to tell them and as soon as they get home from their trip is not the right time." 

[lainee-thomas-blog]

Positive | Jainee

[heyitsjmitch]

Jason was honestly embarrassed that he had gotten so emotional. He didn’t like crying, ever. And he felt like Lainee has already had to see him cry far more than he would ever wish for anyone to see him do. He held her as she cuddled him and kissed her head again, “I love you too, baby.” He could tell she was still scared. So was he, but he knew she couldn’t put her full trust in him yet. And honestly, it bothered him, but he knew he had to keep that to himself. It’s not necessarily her fault that she has trust issues when it comes to fathers, but she would just have to learn to trust him in time. And as much as it killed him, he would have to wait until she did. A piece of him, when she told him about the pregnancy, immediately thought that he should ask her to marry him. Not right then or anything, but at some point sooner rather than later before the baby comes. But now, he was pretty sure that wasn’t the right thing to do. He could never marry someone who can’t trust him, no matter how much he loves her and wants to be with her. He would never say these things out loud, they were just conversations with himself. 

[lainee-thomas-blog]

They were both silent for a few minutes and Lainee wanted more than anything to know what he was thinking. She wished that she could read his mind, but just in this moment.  People always his part of their feelings. They hid the bad part, the part that would hurt or upset someone else but she didn't care. She wanted to know. She wanted to know that he was just as freaked out as she was. She needed to know she wasn't crazy, blowing this all out of proportion. More than anything, she needed to know that he meant everything she said. She needed to know so that even if everything came crashing down on her later, she'd know that one point he did love her and that he did want to care for their baby. 

[lainee-thomas-blog]

Positive | Jainee

[heyitsjmitch]

At first when Lainee told him she didn’t know if she could believe him, Jason was hurt. He tried not to show it on his face, but it hurt him to know that after everything they’ve been through, he would abandon her like that or possibly worse, lie to her, making her believe he would be there and then leave her. That wasn’t something Jason could even fathom. Yes, being a father at 18 scared him and he didn’t know if he could do it, but he had faith that if they worked together, they could have this baby and raise it together and make a loving family. But then, that’s what Jason had always known. Then, when Lainee started telling him about her biological father, the other factors started making sense. He didn’t even realize that her step-father wasn’t her biological father. She had always called him dad and he seemed to treat her like his own daughter, so Jason was surprised that he never knew. Though, he could sense that she didn’t like talking about this and that there was still a lot of residual pain leftover from her father abandoning them.

He pulled her close to him again and kissed the top of her head, “I’m sorry… But I understand now why you’re so scared.” Then, he looked down at her and tilted her head up to look at him, “But I need you to know and understand that I’m not your birth father. I don’t understand how someone could leave their wife and child. I know that’s what you know, but I understand what I know…what…who I knew. My father was the most faithful, loyal man I’ve ever known. I have always made it my goal to be as much like him as possible and because of him, I’ve always wanted to be a father. I wanted to be a man like him that my son or daughter could one day admire. I wanted to love my wife the way I saw him love my mom throughout the years.” Jason couldn’t help but get a little emotional and felt tears fill his eyes. He tried to blink them away, embarrassed whenever he showed this much emotion, but a few fell down his cheeks anyway. He quickly wiped them away, but continued, “My greatest disappointment now is that my children one day will never be able to meet their grandfather. But I know he’s watching me…and I’ll be damned if I’m going to do anything that wouldn’t make him proud.” Jason shook his head with an extremely serious and determined look on his face, “I couldn’t live with myself if I did that.” Then, he looked back into her eyes and tried to hold back the emotion again, “So if you can’t trust that I love and respect you too much to ever leave you, trust me that I respect my father too much to ever leave you or my child.”

[lainee-thomas-blog]

Lainee listened to the boy talk and was speechless. A few more tears slipped past her eyelids. She wrapped her arms around Jason's torso and cuddled into him. She knew it must be hard for him to not have his father around and know that his father will never see him graduate, get married and have kids. His father will never be around to help him be a father and a husband. "I'm sorry, baby. I love you so much." The more he spoke, the more she believed that he would stay but she was afraid to get her hopes up and have them be crushed.

[lainee-thomas-blog]

Positive | Jainee

[heyitsjmitch]

Jason sighed when Lainee pulled away from him, demanding how he knew it would all be alright. He wasn’t quite sure what she meant when she said the part about a lot of people changing their minds. If she meant that in regards to him choosing to leave her, she was wrong and he would have to assure her one way or another that he wasn’t going anywhere. But he stayed quiet, as was his nature, while she ranted until she seemed to partially calm herself down before begging him to stay with her. He moved closer so he was facing her directly and placed both hands on her cheeks and looked her square in the eye, “I swear to you, I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to worry about that. I promise. I love you and I want to be with you for the rest of my life, but even if that wasn’t the case, I would never leave abandon you and a child we created together. I’m going to love you and love this baby with everything I have and do my absolute best to provide for you both. I will NOT let you down.” Then, he leaned forward and pecked her lips, “Do you believe me? I need you to trust that.”

[lainee-thomas-blog]

Lainee was going out of her mind and she knew Jason could tell. She kept repeating herself but she was just trying to work things out in her own head although it wasn't working. "I hope not because I can't go through this alone..." She looked up at him as he pecked her lips. "I-I don't know... I want to believe you more than anything but I don't know if I can. Not right now." She admitted. She had never told Jason the truth about her father because she didn't like to talk about it. She didn't think he even knew that her step-father was not her biological father but as far as she was concerned, her step-father was her only father. She figured she should tell him now, though. "W-When I was conceived, my mother assured my mother that he would be there for her and her baby. He claimed he loved both of us but about five months into the pregnancy h-he left. My mom cam home from visiting family one day and he was gone and so was all of his stuff. He never called, left a note. Nothing. He has never tried to contact my mother and I since. S-So, uh.. I have a hard time, uh..." She trailed off, hoping he understood.

[lainee-thomas-blog]

Positive | Jainee

[heyitsjmitch]

Jason pulled her closer as she started freaking out and tried to calm her down, “Shhh, it’ll be okay. Baby, you can’t stress yourself out like this. I know this is going to be hard, but we can do this. We’ll be together all the way and we’ll do what we have to do.” He kissed her forehead over and over again as he held her, “You don’t have to go through any of this alone. I love you and we’ll get through this together.”

[lainee-thomas-blog]

"You don't know that for sure! There are so many things that could go wrong. Lots of people change their minds. So how can you tell me that everything is going to be okay?" She pulled away slightly to look at him. She sighed realizing that she basically just yelled at her boyfriend when all he was trying to do was calm her down. "I'm sorry. I just.." She trailed off not really knowing what else to say. Lainee just never imagined the possibility of this happening to her. She always laughed at those 'Teen Mom' shows thinking how stupid and irresponsible they must have been to get themselves pregnant and now those teen moms were here and she didn't know what to do. The only comfort she found in this whole situation was that Jason said he would stay with her. "Please promise me that you'll stay. I can't lose you, Jase. Not again."

[lainee-thomas-blog]

Positive | Jainee

[heyitsjmitch]

Jason held her closer and into his chest and kissed the top of her head, “Shhh, it’s going to be okay. I promise. It’ll be okay. We’ll make it through this.” He had to let her know that he wasn’t going to leave. He would be there for her no matter what because he loved her. But he definitely was freaking out inside. He didn’t know anything about being a father except what he had seen from his own. But how was he supposed to be a good one without his own father there to help him. 

[lainee-thomas-blog]

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do, Jase..." She cried into his chest. "I'm only eighteen. This isn't supposed to happen at eighteen. I'm not ready to have a baby. Oh god, my parents. How am I supposed to tell my parents? They're going to kill me." The more she spoke, the more she freaked herself out and the less she could breathe.

[lainee-thomas-blog]

Positive | Jainee

[heyitsjmitch]

Throughout all the shock of the news Lainee was telling him, he never once let go of her. If anything, he held her closer because if they were going to have a baby, they had to stick together. He was scared, of course. But he knew he loved Lainee and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. When he heard her whisper an apology, he pulled back just enough to turn and look her in the eye. They he knelt in front of where she was sitting and placed both hands on her cheeks, “You don’t owe me any apology, Lainee. I’m just as responsible for making this baby as you are.” He brushed a strand of hair out of her face and told her, “I love you and we’re in this together no matter what! Don’t you worry for a second about me not being here. I’ll always be here for you. We’re a team and I’d never leave you.”

[lainee-thomas-blog]

Lainee would never admit it, but now was the time she needed Jason the most. She had no idea what they were going to do or how they were going to get through this but it was comforting that he hadn't let go of her or made any move to signify he was going to leave. But still she feared that he would leave her. Lainee's biological father left her shortly after she was born. He wasn't in her life anymore and hasn't tried to contact her or her mother since. Noah told her mother that he would stay but where was he now? Still after all that, she desperately wanted to believe Jason when he told her that he would always be here for her. "O-Okay, I-I love you too." She told him as a  few more tears fell from her eyes.