i was genuinely killed by the fact kabru's real name being "unknown" is due to him not being able to remember how his mother used to call him. and now i can't stop thinking about this child trying so hard to remember his loved ones only to have the most grotesque images come to mind. as we read the manga the only glimpses of his life in utaya we get to see are those tragic moments when he lost everything, and i find it interesting that the first time us readers get to know of his past at all is through him being triggered by food.
but then we get to chapters 61-62 and for the first time during the story, he mentions the memory of something other than the horrors- and in direct parallel to earlier in the manga, it's a dish his mother used to cook. the guy who is shown to have a hard time taking care of himself in his pursuit of his goals is forced to focus on someone else's wellbeing which also results in him making more effort for his own sake as well, and so in an attempt to care for and comfort someone else he ends up trying to recreate one of the few fond memories he has left. and it's so simple; the memory of a child and mother sharing a meal together. it's so incredibly sad but also comforting, hopeful in a way- her voice, her touch, her face, they're all out of reach now. he may never remember his mother lovingly calling his name. but there is one thing he can surely still feel even all these years later: the taste of the food she worked so hard to make and put on the table. and it's not just him. through senshi and marcille as well as other characters, we see it time and time again. how among many other things, food is also a way to preserve your home. to preserve your love.
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