gymtanluxury.

steph. 20. taken. canada. a blog about my life & the things i like: food, fashion, design, beauty, quotes, luxury & more. ♥♥♥

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Okay just needed to bitch about something so I can get my mind off it and on my textbook.

I seriously feel like whenever I need a little pick-me-up, or really, when it would even just be nice to talk, my boyfriend is never there...and I was okay with this, cause I didn't think he was much of a "phone" kinda guy, but whenever I'm with him his phone is permanently attached to him most of the time, and he always replies quickly and continuously.

I hate bitching about stuff cause my tumblr has so many posts of me ranting, but that's because things usually never bother me and when they do, I don't talk to friends about it, I usually write. Which is why it all ends up here haha.

Anyways, I just feel kind of like...that's nice. It sucks though because then sometimes I feel like it's a good thing, cause it means I don't really have to reciprocate. It's nice not having to text a bunch (my ex put a fricken TIME LIMIT of 20 minutes for me to text back. Otherwise he was pissed off. He's also a psycho but no need to elaborate at the moment). Anyways, I just sometimes feel like this is what will stop me from really falling for him. It's been four months and as of late, I've been really frustrated that my feelings don't seem to be going anywhere. In fact, they're kind of sliding downhill - more and more. It's unfortunate but I'm not really sure what to do.

In more concise terms, I feel like he's that "somebody I can live with," but not necessarily, or even close I don't think, the "somebody that I can't live without." He's a really good guy and he loves  me, honestly for reasons unknown, as I feel like I've done MUCH, MUCH, MUCH less for him than I've ever done for my ex, who I was completely enamoured with but had trouble letting go even after I knew I wasn't into him anymore. I kind of dragged it out for a long time, which is when everyone started to get really crazy. But anyways, he isn't in my life anymore and this new guy is who I've been trying to figure things out with.

I've had a great four months and a bit with him, but I'm just not sure I see a future...I talked to my best friend about it when I had a mini panic attack a few days ago, because he and our mutual friends are always talking about future and marriage stuff, but it just freaked me out cause I was seriously having doubts about a future with him. She said not to worry about it and that it's okay if we don't have a future...but I think that if you know you absolutely do not want to be with someone, you should nip it in the bud cause otherwise you're just wasting their, and your, time. I'm only saying that because I'm at the age where a lot of people I know are in serious relationships because they do see a future with that person...so yeah.

Anyways this got way longer than I intended and I really need to read 7 more chapters before going to bed. My exam is at 8am tomorrow and I don't feel nearly as ready as I'd like to, since I was sick one of the days I planned to study, and then also procrastinated...of course haha.

Boa noite! xx

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Someone who doesn't have a boyfriend obviously wrote this haha. I know I hate when my boyfriend backseat games...like yes honey thanks, I KNOW I'm supposed to kill them. Haha. When it comes to him, I just let him rage and give him little kisses every couple rounds

[lambosbeforehos-blog]

I'm upset.

It's my birthday and my ex just tried to call me. I didn't pick up (because there was a huge situation awhile back involving my current bf and my ex so I cut him out of my life) but he texted me a tumblr URL and told me to check it.

Basically back when we were still dating, it was long distance so I created a tumblr especially for him with cute/funny pictures that he could always check for a smile. I guess he made me one and the weird thing that hurts is that every picture and little message he wrote along with each of the pictures is right on. That sucks because I'm currently going through a period in my relationship where I feel like I'm just never going to be able to open up to my bf, and that there's always going to be a side of me he doesn't know - and if he did, might not accept. Whereas with my ex, it always came so easily, and he knew me, all of me.

I feel like my current relationship is really good for me and might end up being, you know, what eventually leads to a life together but sometimes I get the feeling that it's going to be a situation of being someone I can live with, drama-free and average, instead of someone I can't live without - that all-encompassing, passionate love where yes, you fight, but at the same time you know you can't be without them.

I just feel really confused. As well as conflicted about my ex finally accepting me with somebody else. When I think about him with someone else, I feel that it's a good thing and I don't mind which lets me know I've moved on, but I also do feel a slight tinge of...weirdness about it. I guess it's human to feel that way, expecially if it's your first love, but it just scares me because I hope it's not that I still have feelings for him.

[zodiacchic]

[lovescope]

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my birthday and this quote could not hold more true for me right now.

but something that's on my mind is: why is it so easy for me to talk to my best friend and know that i love him/be able to tell him...but completely opposite with my bf? i don't know what's going to happen.

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Can you not call my bf at 2 in the morning...thanks. Like, best friend emergency fine. But to bitch about your slutty drama for half an hour, don't. That's all.

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Hahaha. The exec e-mail list is pretty much all of us expressing that we feel like a bag of dicks in various ways. "My head hurts. Sincerely, Devin." "Pretty sure I'm still drunk. Weeeee - Kelda a.k.a. Ke$ha" "Gone are the days I could walk out of a hospital in the morning and party again that night. - Julie "Stomach Pump" Maines Julie is the girl who once woke up in her underwear in a tree after our toga party, and with cake in her vaj after her birthday haha This must be why I'm building up my tolerance...

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Hmm so glad I didn't see my boyfriend like at all during our party last night. Oh, except for when he was busy talking to other girls and I bought him a beer. Probably why I ended up crashing on the couch at my friend's place. Since, you know, he was the one who was actually around, and took me home. Honestly I haaaate bitching, like I never complain about anything even to my girlfriends but I needed to get that out.

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I love Victoria's Secret, can't wait! The themed sections for this year are: Ballet, Super Angels, Passion Play, Angels Aquatic, I Put a Spell on You, and Club Pink.

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Shanina Shaik! One of my new favourite models who will be gracing the runway on Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, November 29th :*)

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My friends set up for the release of MW3 tonight.

6 XBox's. 6 TVs. Good lord hahaha

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Lolol my bf is passed out exactly as I left him:

Snoring, naked, spread eagle, and taking up three-quarters of the bed

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4am: Boyfriend passes out immediately after a sack session, following a long drunken night of partying... ...make myself a giant burrito and watch sports highlights.

[oceanydepths-deactivated2012022]

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this is gorgeous. makes me want christmas soo bad ♥

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made these pumpkin cinnamon streusel pancakes for brekkie this morning, since my bf came and stayed over at mine monday night :)

PUMPKIN CINNAMON STREUSEL PANCAKES RECIPE

Ingredients:

CINNAMON FILLING: 1/2 cup (1 stick) salted butter, melted 3/4 cup brown sugar 1 tablespoon ground cinnamon

CREAM CHEESE ICING: 4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) salted butter 2 ounces cream cheese 3/4 cup powdered sugar, sifted 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

PANCAKES: 1 1/2 cups whole milk 1 cup pure unsweetened pumpkin puree 2 large eggs 2 tablespoon canola or vegetable oil 2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar 2 cups all-purpose flour 1 tablespoon baking powder 1/2 teaspoon baking soda 2 tablespoons pumpkin pie spice (see notes below) 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 tablespoon packed light brown sugar

Directions:

1. Prepare the cinnamon filling: In a small, microwave-safe bowl, heat butter, brown sugar and cinnamon for 40-60 seconds, just until butter is melted. Whisk the filling ingredients together and then pour into a sandwich-sized zip baggie. Zip up the baggie and lay it on the counter while you prepare the pancake batter.

2. Prepare the Icing: In a medium microwave-safe bowl, heat butter and cream cheese 30-60 seconds, just until butter has melted and cream cheese has softened. Whisk in powdered sugar and vanilla and combine until smooth. Set the icing aside.

3. Prepare the pancake batter: In a large bowl, whisk together milk, pumpkin, eggs, oil, and vinegar. In a separate bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, baking soda, pumpkin pie spice, salt and brown sugar. Add the dry ingredients to the pumpkin mixture and stir just until all is moistened.

4. Check on your cinnamon filling: Open up the baggie again and give it a good stir to re-incorporate any butter that may have separated. You want the mixture to thicken a bit - it's best when it's similar to the squeezing texture of toothpaste (which will eventually happen if you leave it on the counter long enough, but you can refrigerate it for a few minutes if you need to). Don't try to use the filling for the pancake swirl unless it has thickened because it will be too runny! Snip off a small piece of the corner of the baggie.

5. Cook the pancakes: Preheat a large skillet or griddle to medium. Use an ice cream scoop (or ladle) to add the batter to the pan. Use the bottom of the scoop or ladle to spread out the batter into a nice, even circle. Reduce the heat to medium-low. Pick up your cinnamon filling baggie and squeeze the filling into the corner. Starting at the center of the pancake squeeze the cinnamon filling on top of the pancake batter in a swirl (just as you see in a cinnamon roll). Cook the pancakes 3 to 4 minutes, or until bubbles begin popping on top of the pancake and it is golden brown on the bottom. Slide a thin spatula underneath the pancake and gently but quickly flip it over. Cook an additional 2 to 3 minutes, until the other side is golden as well. When you flip the pancake onto a plate, you will see that the cinnamon filling has created a crater-swirl of cinnamon. Wipe out the pan with a paper towel, and repeat with the remaining pancake batter and cinnamon filling. Serve pancakes topped with a drizzle of cream cheese icing.

Notes: If you don't have pumpkin pie spice, use this combo of spices instead: 1 teaspoon allspice, 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon, 1 teaspoon ground ginger, 1/2 teaspoon ground cloves, 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg

[lambosbeforehos-blog]

The new boots I bought today! :)

I actually had a pair of Koolaburras I bought almost 5 years ago in soho, and I haven't been able to find this brand here in Canada or online for less than about $400...but I finally got them for only $100 on hautelook today! This is actually one of the best investments I've made in awhile, cause not only were they suuuuper low-priced, but my old pair were so worn out I did need a new pair before winter comes. Plus it's like a little present to myself cause my scholarship money just came in and I'm trying to save most of it, but wanted to spend at least a bit of it on something for myself :)

Seriously though, if you're an online shopping addict, stay away from hautelook haha. I signed up in september and I've already put in like 5 orders

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our day at the zoo ♥