happy little pill

Lance Babineaux. 19. The only thing keeping Murphy from getting Peggy sent to jail.

[peggyrathaway]

Of course they would. Wouldn’t we?

That’s a terrible plan. But okay.

[lancebabineaux]

In a heartbeat.

I wouldn’t say plan, so much as... possible outcomes.

[peggyrathaway]

How many times have I told you to stop indulging her? She’s going to drive them insane.

But… actual sleep sounds nice. Even though we both know he’s going to wake up the second we walk in the door.

[lancebabineaux]

They love her too much. They’d do anything for that girl.

Probably. But! When he hears our voices, he’ll either ignore us, or come down to say hi to us.

So we really win, either way.

[lancebabineaux]

( * &&. texts ;; lancelot du lac

Murphy: You are perpetually salty and idk why. That move is gr9, and completely worth watching six times.

Murphy: He will always be Hartley to me, and I will not let you convince me to call him otherwise.

Murphy: I have never emotionally blackmailed anyone ever, and I will not start now, I am so offended by that accusation.

Murphy: Also Hartley and I may or may not be dating now, and I think I might start screaming, how did I get so lucky, Lance, this literally never happens to me ever, w ha t

Lance: The six times, I can understand. Somewhat. Barely. What I absolutely CANNOT understand is why you had to make Everything Is Awesome EVERYONE'S ringtone, and put it on all of our phones, and make us all listen to it repeatedly.

Lance: He loves you so much, he'll undoubtedly let you get away with it.

Lance: It is emotional blackmail, and he'll probably agree with you because (see above)

Lance: I can't believe you're actually surprised.

[peggyrathaway]

Don’t call me that, Lance. And, Christ, do you think I don’t know that? Can you just –

I’m sorry. I can’t believe it’s five o’clock in the morning, and we’re doing this.

[lancebabineaux]

Exactly. It’s five o’clock in the morning, and you can only survive on coffee for so long.

Let’s head over to Murphy’s. She’s planning on blackmailing the Hartley’s into a sleepover. If we’re lucky, Laden won’t wake up until after we’ve all fallen asleep.

[lancebabineaux]

( * &&. texts ;; murphy

Murphy: My poor baby 3

Murphy: Please, we both know my brother will never be anything less than his usual dick self.

Murphy: He's all "darkness, no parents" and it's very emotionally crippling to have a conversation with him, I've stopped trying

Murphy: You and Pegs want to have a sleepover? I can talk Hartley and Callie into staying, too. I did just have an embarrassing breakdown on his shoulder, so he's more likely to fulfill my dying wishes.

Lance: One: stop referencing that stupid movie, you know I hate that movie after the last movie night.

Lance: Two: I will never understand why you won't just call Foster by his first name, you know he prefers it.

Lance: Three: What you're describing is called emotional blackmail, and it's a horrible thing, do not put your best friend through that.

[lancebabineaux]

( * &&. texts ;; murphy

Lance: Peggy is griping again, and it's actually breaking my heart.

Lance: Please make your brother less of an asshole, it would be much appreciated.

[peggyrathaway]

I wish you would stop calling him that.  

I know that. And I don’t plan on actually telling him. I just needed to get it out of my system.

[lancebabineaux]

You’re not the only one with an unfortunate crush on him, Margaret. The sooner we realize that we don’t stand a chance, the sooner we move on.

He’ll never be any less... intense. He’s a real life Nick Fury. The best we can do is be patient with him. And maybe he’ll actually trust us one day.

[peggyrathaway]

          Your sentences border on senseless, and you are paranoid in every paragraph, how they deceive you —— you, you, you!

[lancebabineaux]

Very well spoken, Pegs.

But I don’t think quoting your favorite musical is going to make your unrequited crush any less cryptic and paranoid.