I hate my landlord

I hate this lady so much I made a blog about it.

[landlordhater420]

new schedule

with my college classes calming down I have a new schedule.

MAN O' WAR MONDAY

TUMBLR TUESDAY

WOLF SHIRT WEDNESDAY

THIRST TRAP THURSDAY

FREAKTASTIC FRIDAY

SEXY SATURDAY

SINFUL SUNDAY

Chuds can't handle such a grindset

[landlordhater420]

my roommates

both my roommates are becoming clowns. Not full time or anything but they have started to train the art of tomfoolery.

My spouse and I went to a birthday party where a professional clown showed up. They were very nice and an anxious clown because the entire room was full of adults and I don't think they knew that detail. Anyway, my spouse blew the socks off of this clown (not literally) by being really good at it! Needless to say, theyve taken up the hobby of balloon animals. Making dogs, lions, fucking lobsters every animal. We made a designated balloon animal box for a minute there.

My roommate also decided to get into juggling and balancing on a balance board. He already has the balance but not the juggling. This all happened in quick succession so not months apart, this was DAYS apart. The clown infection had started and I did not know what my clown talent would be.

[landlordhater420]

question for Florida boys with big trucks

do y'all make your trucks kiss? Like I sit outside of Wawa (my castle) to see hooligan teenager Florida boys. With their frontward facing caps, slightly fluffy hair poking from the hat, and the same fucking polo shirt every Florida boy seems to own. They lift their trucks fronts to the heavens so they can constantly see god and the sun I guess instead of a small child that's crossing the road. Does this design make the back of the truck THE WHOLE POINT OF THE TRUCK useless?

Anyway, at Wawa I see them put their trucks very close together almost like kissing. Then before leaving they all play really loud rap music (which I love but this is the stereotypical white suburbs boy listing to O block) and make a circle formation. Now it's a truck centipede front to back, front to back. Truck rimming. What is the appeal? Who made this formation? Who started this trend?

I know I'm an outsider to this entire scene being I'm gay, poor, and a legal adult. I'm just very curious by the entire thing. I feel like a bird watcher trying to figure out different calls and actions.

[landlordhater420]

Big car tiny wheels

I'm an avid driver and I've noticed an odd pattern of cars rounding corners in my very old, white, and evil neighbourhood. GIANT behemoth ford explorers that are like mini vans but made into a weapon. The kind of car that is bigger than a WWII tank but the smallest white woman is in it.

Then they add the most diabolical wheels. The first edition fucking tire. ITS like they decided to go back to the invention of the wheel and pick that one. The kind of tires the Amish use for their stagecoach. It's like big shirt tiny pants for a fucking car. Why would you own a car you could strap a missile too and then put wheels that look like they'd break under the force of one nuclear family?

Then with a combo that makes two clashing patterns look like it's meant for the met gala, they add the front attachment police cars use to bulldoze down another car. My suspension of disbelief is not enough for this. However, this also means that I get to watch these cars fail at parallel parking while my petite Mazda can slip into a parking space like a mouse into its hole.

[landlordhater420]

ive been cooking for my spouse a lot recently (one week yay!) and I have learned that calling myself cooking mama (I'm a man) and acting fucking insane works. Because I fuck up and something looks burnt but I can say "aw man cooking mama has done it now .."

[landlordhater420]

Thinking about hating my landlord a lot right now. I feel as though my tolerance towards evil women is so high because of my mother.

[landlordhater420]

The evil has left the state.

Godspeed and God bless thank god she's gone. I need to make edits of my apartment being absolutely destroyed. Vine booms and all. Because why the fuck was my ceiling ripped out in the first week, there's such a lack of airflow I can sweat every électrolyte from my body into my mattress, and my bathroom floor is becoming more mud and less tile?

Time to email her and try to have her fix her slum of an apartment while I twirl my hair seductively through my computer.

[landlordhater420]

I can feel the stress coming up. I read some of my two textbooks for the fall and one is a deep dive into DNA replication and the other is statistics for clinical chemistry

What the fuck is a DNA polymerase pol 2 :(

I love science so much but WTF is this bullshit. Bring me back to the days of learning WTF is a cell is

[landlordhater420]

I have to email my evil landlord again...

The bathroom most likely has mold. The air conditioning definitely does but alas, my previous experiences with contacting this woman have been nothing but cruel.

The tiles around my toilet are coming up and are very uneven with the floor squishy. I flipped the tiles one by one and my god it's awful. Time to email the EVIL!

So, I'm posing a question:

How will she respond to my kind email?

A. Oh lord let me fix that!

B. We will get there in two weeks babe.

C. Rip the door off of its hinges to let more airflow in.

D. Get molded loser.

[landlordhater420]

ovefstimulated

Forgot my meds

[landlordhater420]

orthochromic normoblast being ANGRY!!!

[landlordhater420]

powerpoint

Making a powerpoint all about blood for tonight and I've made some sickening revelations....

I can make specific cells have transparent background and then have them bounce around. I'm also adding boys kissing on multiple slides.

This will be presented in front of my family, friends, and coworkers so they better be ready for some hot, steamy cowboy makeout pics!

[faeyuh]

how it felt to fight mad mew mew’s body dysphoria while hatsune miku serenades me in the bg

[landlordhater420]

I'm now a little scared to leave my apartment unattended because the kleptomaniac is now in stalker status I believe. No clue what to do other than be afraid and hope they are not bat shit evil.

[landlordhater420]

At work one day with a student who I am not a fan. He always wants me to do his work and I just gotta be like "hey man you gotta factor".

Anyway, he took a break and asked me about my degree. I'm going for medical laboratory science, he asked if I do LETHAL INJECTIONS. HUH.

then he started discussing with me how he wants to write to our mayor to bring back the electric chair. I love my job so much, but there's a few reasons that I crash out.

[landlordhater420]

rotten tree and rotten landlord

In the middle of the night there was a loud CRACK! Not one of us woke up. Out of all three of us, we slept through the night like some bugs in a rug.

In the morning, my roommate and I have lost our most precious possessions. Our cars. Yes, a giant, rotten, and evil tree branch hit out cars. Mine MUCH WORSE (one small dent) compared to my roommate (shattered windshield, fucked up passenger door, and dented up hood).

Now I'm not saying my landlord did this, but SHE DID! She has probably been poisoning the land next to our apartment with the byproducts of her bodily waste. By bodily waste I mean tennis balls, shitty coffee, and possibly actual shit.

This is all after the time my spouse and I drive from one coast of Florida to the other. I drove the speed limit of course, and all of a sudden a big raccoon came out and I did not realize it. The front bumper was broken. This was a separate car by the way. Not one of the two that got crushed by a giant tree.

[landlordhater420]

HAPPY PRIDE!*

*To everyone other than my landlord and my mom. Because my landlord needs to go through an evil lesbian situation ship to make her grow. She needs to go into tears over a 50 year old baddie with a crazy undercut.

My mom however was definitely bisexual for YEARS. Like she has definitely kissed a woman, felt the soft touch of a best friend, and have eaten someone out. However, she now says she's straight and has never even had a GIRLFRIEND!!! When I came out as Bisexual in a chick fil a drive thru, my mom told me she once had a girlfriend. A whole girlfriend.