You can refer to me by my URL and with it / its pronouns.
I am an Intersectional, Decolonialist, Transfeminist and I read and engage with a lot of Black Feminist literature specifically. Radical Feminism and separatist politics are grifts regardless of who is peddling them and I'm highly critical of anyone who endorses them, especially other trans people. MLs fuck off.
I do not answer asks that directly name other Tumblr users or link to posts that are not mine.
If I'm blunt with you it's the autism burnout. Don't hear what I didn't say. [ X ]
FAQ and links under the cut.
☆ My Links (wip):
#mine — my posts
#reading list — reading rec / resource tag
☆ Other Links (wip):
The Anarchist Library [ X ]
Trans Reads [ X ]
☆ FAQ (wip) ☆
What does your URL mean?
ftmtftm stands for "female to male to female to male" — I like this descriptor for myself for several different reasons. The most prevalent being that due to several different circumstances (covid, money, insurance access, mental health, etc.) I have medically transitioned then medically detransitioned twice since 2019 against my will, so I find it an appropriate description for my personal experience with my own transition. I restarted T January 15th, 2026 :3
What is your gender identity?
Wouldn't you like to know weather boy. For real though, I'm multigender and if I have to choose words for other people to describe me I currently like nonbinary transsexual and person the most. Nonbinary man is also a common one I use. I often rotate other self descriptors depending on relevancy.
Why it/its?
We use "it" to describe so many beautiful things. I am also a beautiful thing.
What's your race and why do you care?
I'm functionally White. I'm an Ashkenazi Jew who has felt the effects of the racialized nature of white supremacist antisemitism, but in my day to day I am generally a White American. I care because white supremacy is a horrific thing that we should be actively countering more as a society and more White people need to step up to do our part to talk about race.
[ Reading recommendation request ]
I'm not answering personal reading recommendations at this time, please refer to my links section above. If you have a specific author you are looking for, I typically tag author specific posts with their names. If you're looking for a specific subject try "#on [ subject ]" or "#[ subject ]" as I have gotten a little inconsistent with my tagging system. Please feel free to send me recommendations.
[ Accusation that I am a transmisogynist / radfem / zionist / etc. ]
I'm incredibly vocally critical of Radical Feminism and am an antizionist Jew. I do not support the existence of the settler colonialist state of Israel and do support the liberation of the people of Palestine. You do not know my life or my actions offline and I will not post about my in-person political activities or anything that could link me to them on this blog unless they are well in the past.
I support the right of trans men, nonbinary people, and intersex people to create and define their own language to discuss their experiences. This does not come at the cost of the experiences of trans women. Everyone has the right to good faith expression of their identity and experiences. Attempts to silence marginalized people and shut down their good faith self-descriptive language should be examined and questioned.
Microaggressions against polyamory in interpersonal interactions are important and should be discussed, but I do wish more of the conversation focused on the ways that systemic amatonormativity impact things like family units, taxes, healthcare, inheritances, housing, childcare, etc.
I'm not dating or married or related to anyone I live with, and our household of four adults can't get any kind of financial or food or housing aid because we count as three separate households despite our semi-blended finances and living together for a decade. There are laws that have been proposed (at least, I don't know if any passed) that limit housing to nuclear families.
Amatonormativity and polyphobia are not just theoretical "people are kinda mean about this sometimes" -- they are real and materially impactful systemic issues, and they affect all of us.
if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"
“Maybe I like looking trans "oh your voice is too deep" Maybe I like having a deep voice. Maybe I'm not your femme fantasy. Maybe I'm my own fantasy. I love looking trans. I fucking hope that when I walk down the street, they say, "look at that transsexual!" And just maybe someone will see me and think, "hey, I can live that way, too."”
even if bioessentialism was real and all trans women had some inherent advantage over cis women in sports you could not pay me to give a fuck because sports are made up. they are games people play for fun. even though we as a society invented careers around sport it is still boiled down to the fun made up game where you kick a ball. or dribble a ball. or swim in a pool. or show people how fast you can run. it’s for leisure. fun. not serious. who gives a fuck. fun. #mygame⚽️🏀🏈⚾️
I feel like sports are also a mix of inherent bodily advantages and practice/work. Some people are physically going to be better at certain sports no matter what, some people are going to be better because they've put a lot of work into it. It's like banning tall people from basketball bc it's where they thrive
Every day I handle more money than I will ever make. Every day.
At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and it’s not to watch the shoppers. See, we can’t actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.
At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didn’t exist in my household. It’s normal now. Here is something that is not for me.
“What the hell, I’ll take another,” says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.
The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.
I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. He’s not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. He’s not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadn’t spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldn’t have spent any. I go home. I don’t own a watch.
I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.
I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht.
i wrote this while i was working at orlando’s walt disney world parks.
i was part of their college program. i moved to the state for it. they legally owned the building i was living in and still charged me rent. i ostensibly was being charged to work for them. it was a 2 bedroom apartment and they placed 6 adult women in it in forced triples.
as many as one in ten disney employees have experienced homelessness while working for the company. despite huge efforts to unionize, strike, or otherwise demand fair treatment; disney has refused to increase employee quality of life.
disney admits publicly that a good portion of their success is because the employees (“cast members”) are dedicated, passionate, and selfless. this is never reflected in pay. even “face” characters (ie those that are princesses etc) make barely above a minimum wage.
at the time that i worked there, i made $8.50 an hour. at one point i was asked to create a human shield around a bag because a bomb dog had alerted to it. for eight fucking dollars an hour.
i now work a very cushy office job. i have bought the salmon and cooked it all four ways.
i go to the store. i am nice to the person behind the counter. she looks up at the camera while she counts out my change. there is nothing fundamentally different about her and i.
Noo lol I knew I’d regret phrasing it that way. This is tumblr, after all…
It’s not “people who contour are themselves automatically racist” but that the desired face shape created by contouring is one that, at the end of the day, pretty much reflects existing white standards of beauty. A thinner, pointier nose, smaller chin, high angled cheekbones and (on occasion) smaller lips. Also if you’re darker skinned you have to use a much lighter shade of foundation thus ending up with an overall lighter face.
No, you are absolutely correct. In fact it is not even lowkey in the performance arts/entertainment world. I’ve known how to contour since I was 9, because I was in ballet. I was taught by an older Asian dancer who told me that I was already darker than everyone else, my face couldn’t look different too. So she showed me the basics, then left me with a picture of a white person as the goal to emulate.
It’s always been explicit and intentionally racist in terms of what is considered correct contouring technique is to emulate white associated features. Which is not to say that contouring is bad, but it is good to ask ourselves why we do not contour to make our noses look wider and more distinguished. Or why we don’t shadow and highlight to make the face look perfectly round? While contouring is not bad ( and is actually very cool to literally be able to control the way people perceive your face, it’s like magic) it’s good to ask ourselves why we contour the way we do.
"everyone should get more aromantic" can appeal to tumblr's sensibilities but I genuinely think everyone should also get more asexual. I don't mean everyone stop having sex, what I mean is
Sex is not essential. You can live without it. Full stop.
Not having sex isn't shameful or a sign of failure. It also doesn't make anyone boring.
You are not entitled to having sex with anybody and nobody is entitled to having sex with you.
Sex is not what makes someone an adult.
Nobody's worth is defined by how much sex they have or don't have.
Sex is not equally important to everyone.
You can have fulfilling and happy relationships without sex.
You should only have sex on your own terms, not because you feel like you owe it to someone, or because you feel like you'd be incomplete without it.
Know your boundaries around sex and be firm about them. Know how to respect other people's boundaries.
The previous point also applies when it comes to discussing sex. If someone doesn't wanna talk about it or hear about it you have to back down.
Anything can be sexual but not everything has to be sexual.
Martina McBride didn't win Country Music Association Song of the Year for a song about how burning your house down with your abusive husband still inside it is good, noble, and an allegory for the American Revolution for people to act like the genre belongs to bootlicking fucks
how the hell did I leave Morgan Wade off this list. wrote a song about being depressed, alcoholic, and suicidal and how mental illness stigma sucks, saw how much people connected with it, wrote a Part II of that song about how she's doing better now but you're never totally free of the risk of relapse. fucking icon.
I specifically curated this list so people couldn't be like "ah yes but you see here is my simple binary of good and bad country music which always works", I made sure to add different genders, eras, subgenres, etc and y'all are still pulling that shit in the tags!
listen. Alan Jackson, the archetypal mister big hat man sitting on a tractor singing about a pickup truck, wrote a shockingly normal song about 9/11 that was like "yeah I don't know jack shit about politics but my copy of the bible says we're supposed to love everyone" and then went on the radio and explained how he specifically wanted to write a song about that day that "wasn't vengeful". Miranda Lambert took the southern leftist slogan "y'all means all" and made it the title of a corny ass pop-country song for the Queer Eye soundtrack. Kenny Chesney stole a horse from a cop and Tim McGraw put the cop in a chokehold defending him, and I know that's not about their music but it is, and this is very important, fucking sick as hell
it's fine if you only listen to female country artists or pre-1990 country artists or whatever the fuck you want but stop acting like you've cracked the secret code to dividing a whole genre of art into good pure anti-establishment folk songs vs bad corrupted right-wing sellout pulp
Luke Combs covering Fast Car and keeping the line "I work in the market as a checkout girl" and doing an interview about how he couldn't change a single word because it's not his story. king shit
Morgan Wallen doing I Had Some Help, literally the first song that spoke to me as a male survivor of domestic abuse. also shoutout to the guy for getting caught saying a racial slur and responding by specifically telling his fans not to defend him and raising a bunch of money for the Black Music Action Coalition. bro had an engraved invitation to the culture war and said "nah I'd rather be normal"
Shaboozey just absolutely obliterating the drunk roadhouse anthem glass ceiling
Maren Morris and Brothers Osborne with a song that okay, released in 2019 but I didn't hear until recently, about how good friends mind their own business and let you love whoever you want and also get high with you when you're broke
Kimberley Perry! If I Die Young Part 2!! "actually I'm glad I lived, bitch" ass song that I bet is gonna mean a LOT to kids fighting depression
Kelsea Ballerini and Noah Kahan with Cowboys Cry Too. okay it's shallow and corny but genuinely a shallow and corny song about how men shouldn't be afraid to have feelings is what a lot of men need
I do think it's an interesting case of how transandrophobia and exorsexism operate along similar lines that trans men are not allowed to have complicated relationships to lesbianism "because they're men/because they're not women" but non-binary people in relationships with women are regularly labeled as sapphic without their input (or in the case of fictional characters, without regard for other possible interpretations). Both of these instances are fundamentally the erasure of trans people's right to self-identify, both of them are done to police sapphic spaces for the benefit of others. The difference lies in the method, the trans man lesbian is forced out of their community, while the non-binary person is forced to have their identities be made more palatable for the benefit of a community they may not even feel they belong to.
I'd add that another portion of nonbinary population in relationships with women are considered straight without their input and barred from lesbian labels and spaces on a different but also overlapping situation with trans men.
A post ranting about "bearded girlboys" "taking over" went on a long tangent that clearly demonstrated they were talking about transmascs and assumed anyone who used this label or could be dumped into the label was transmasc nonbinary, as if the rest of us didn't exist or didn't operate under those same metrics.
There is definitely a substantial portion of nonbinary people assumed to have proximity to womanhood whether they do or not, but then those of us who are assumed to overlap with men are forgotten about entirely--while being treated like the trans men who are "too close" to maleness.
We are unfortunately seeing a lot of transphobic behavior meant to hit trans men that hits a wide spectrum of nonbinary people, and while it would be disturbing enough to warrant support for trans men, it should also be seen as a WILDLY large overlap in our shared experiences.
"that historical figure COULDN'T have been transmasculine, she clearly identified as a woman!!" women can be transmasc.
"that historical figure COULDN'T have been transfeminine, he clearly identified as a man!!" men can be transfem.
"that historical figure COULDN'T have been nonbinary, he/she clearly identified as a man/woman!!" men and women can be nonbinary.
"transgender" as a term was meant to create solidarity between all kinds of people harmed by cissexism because they deviated from "normal" "appropriate" performances of gender and gender identity. it is frankly kind of heinous that, for sake of making transness palatable to cis people and assimilation-ready, the inherent diversity and anti-categorization of our community was sanded away. there are so many people (dead and living) that we aren't "allowed" to consider part of our community, or who don't feel they are "allowed" to be part of our community, purely because people can't imagine transness is slightly more complicated than Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus: Part II
I do think it's an interesting case of how transandrophobia and exorsexism operate along similar lines that trans men are not allowed to have complicated relationships to lesbianism "because they're men/because they're not women" but non-binary people in relationships with women are regularly labeled as sapphic without their input (or in the case of fictional characters, without regard for other possible interpretations). Both of these instances are fundamentally the erasure of trans people's right to self-identify, both of them are done to police sapphic spaces for the benefit of others. The difference lies in the method, the trans man lesbian is forced out of their community, while the non-binary person is forced to have their identities be made more palatable for the benefit of a community they may not even feel they belong to.
Golden Girls was so incredibly progressive for its time and not even slightly afraid to be loud about it. They talked about queer people, about race, about ableism, and they made it central and overt. They talked about things that mattered, and they never punched down, and they were allies off the stage too.
Reblogging this again to add some context for anyone who may not know. In the 80's, being outed as gay could get you blacklisted in Hollywood. It ruined people's careers.
Bea Arthur and Betty White both suffered damage to their careers for standing up against racism and homophobia. Back in the 50s Betty White hosted a variety show that was canceled because she featured a black dancer and doubled down when they told her to stop.
nonbinary jews lead transfeminist dialectics @ftmtftm - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
