rising from the ashes

all of the sorrow won't fit in his chest, it just burns like a fire in the pit of his chest, and his heart is a bird on a spit in his chest

[landnkrby]

ofmagicdescent‌:

“i think we could be doing a lot worse?” josie suggested tentatively. she definitely didn’t think they were doing okay. but it was better to let landon think that’s what she was thinking, and yeah, hope had promised him no lies and no deception; but that was not a vow josie had made. she wasn’t sure how she could promise hope she wouldn’t lie to her, but she couldn’t extend the same courtesy to her boyfriend. there was just some things she needed to protect landon from, this sweet guy josie so desperately wanted to remain just that, sweet and kind, and for that she needed to spare him from the guilt. “we are, sort of at least, this is a better relationship than my previous one…” josie admitted, and she missed penelope, she really did, but her bond with the witch wasn’t good for anyone, it filled josie with so much anger and penelope hurt people she cared about. this was better. penelope had left her with the task to care for herself and josie was doing that, but she was also ensuring that she was surrounded by people like landon, people who were good.

the mention of her last girlfriend — penelope, obviously — sent landon’s brain into a whirl.  he hadn’t known them for the duration of their relationship, but he had borne witness to the fallout.  the anger, the manipulation, the petty feuding . . .  and it still felt less dramatic than his own inner turmoil now.  in a perfect world, he would be able to sit hope and josie both down, explain his feelings, and — well, even in his imaginary perfect world, he didn’t know which one he would choose.  it was the reason he was in this mess.  even if he hadn’t discussed it with either of them, it was bound to come to a head sooner or later.  was it selfish of him for hoping for later?  “my last relationship sort of ended with my neck getting snapped.”  landon stated bluntly.  after a second, he forced out a laugh, unable to contend with the awkward silence he’d created.  he was nailing it.

[landnkrby]

mysticmikaelson‌:

“Me too. You know, my family has this Christmas tradition–” Hope begins, smile faint as the memory comes to her. “– every Christmas you make a wish, and show no one what you wished forr and toss it into a bonfire. It’s why my dad is making one for the town, I think.” They could all use some wishes these days. “We never really did it much as a kid, it felt wrong without my dad  really around but – I think for once there isn’t anything I could wish for, could want more than what I have and what we got back.” Looking at Landon though, that might have been a lie. New normal, new normal. “You know how dying or whatever sort of puts things into perspective?” Probably a stupid thing to ask someone who died on a semi-regular basis but… “ The person I was when you first came to the school, i’d been that way since my family fell apart. I was just…alone. And it was my own doing. You…Landon you taught me it’s okay to let people in. To feel like I was a part of something again.” A part of her was cringing internally at the words the more she spoke, but he already had her heart, what else could he do with it? “What I mean is now that my family is back it made me realize that I was never really alone until Malivore. The super squad, Alaric, you. You guys were my family in some weird way. You gave that back to me, without even trying.” Hope dropped her gaze then, regretting admitting it aloud but too far to turn back. “Before I give you a cavity what I really mean from all this blatant rambling is if I had a wish this year, i’d thank you for that. And i’d want you to know that no matter what, besides raf and josie and everyone.. you have a family in me too. If you want it. Neither of us are alone, not anymore. That alone makes it the best christmas i’ve seen in a really long time.”

landon listened intently.  it was fascinating, sometimes, the way the two of them could be so similar, as much as they would both deny it.  but then those came to an end and their differences went on and on.  hope had family, actual blood relatives that she could trace and, for those still living, locate with ease.  all he had was a mother who had abandoned him twice, throwing herself into malivore rather than getting to know him anymore.  he had rafael, and their ragtag super squad, and that was as good as any family . . .  but he certainly didn’t have any traditions, nothing to look forward to beyond the most basic wishing for presents — something, anything to act as evidence of love and affection.  “that’s, uh, that’s really cool.”  he finally said, only then realizing how tight his throat had gotten.  damn.  “yeah, i’m familiar,”  landon admitted, with a tight smile.  getting drained of blood by mg and discovering his phoenix nature certainly had put things into perspective.  as had his semi-frequent trips to the bottom of the lake recently.  but he wasn’t willing to divulge that to hope, not yet.  “hope, i — ”  landon didn’t know where to begin.  hope had literally changed his life, more than once.  he was having a tough time figuring how to admit that without saying something that would just remind the both of them that they were no longer together.  it hurt, a real ache in his chest.  “the same to you.”  a cop-out if there ever was one.  “i wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you.”  the mantra josie is your girlfriend rattled around his brain, and he shifted his gaze downward.  “i’m really glad you came back, hope.  it wasn’t the same without you.  thank you.”

[landnkrby]

lizziesaltzmvns‌:

she shrugged at the comment about her kicking him. “you’re probably right about that,” she admitted rather reluctantly. though she enjoyed his obvious discomfort at her presence, lizzie didn’t want to antagonize him too much while they were in the library. some things were better saved for the halls, in her opinion. her eyes narrowed at the reasoning, unwilling to admit he was right again. “i read them when i was twelve, okay?” it was more of an emphatic statement than a question. and not entirely true considering she’d just re-read the books a year prior. “and you really remind me of a way uglier frodo baggins,” she continued before realizing what she’d said. “i will send you into the flames of mount doom myself if you ever tell anyone i said that.”

landon could hardly bite back a smile when she admitted to reading the books.  “i knew it!”  he was practically bouncing up and down in his chair, too excited to think about the danger of lording anything over lizzie saltzman.  even her calling him ugly couldn’t kill his mood now.  hell, he’d gladly sit through a barrage of insults if it meant lizzie outing herself as a nerd.  he wondered what other pop culture references he could mine out of her, but that thought was shut down when she threatened to throw him into a fictional volcano.  the worst part?  he was pretty sure she would figure out a way to make good on that.  “noted.  lizzie saltzman, closet geek.  i never thought i’d see the day . . . ”  so maybe he wasn’t that great at following directions.

[landnkrby]

mysticmikaelson‌:

She smiled, though it reached nowhere near her eyes. Hope hated how easy it felt to fall back into habits with him, hated the comfort it brought. Like a bandaid to an ache she had ignored in the back of her mind. But he wasn’t hers to take comfort in, and clearly he could remember that so she had to try. “We’ll fix this. The odds definitely seem better this time around.” A chill blew by, the tribrid taking her now free hands and pulling the edges of her coat closer to herself. “Hopefully after Christmas? It’d be nice to have a quiet one for once. It’s been…a while.” Holidays weren’t always her favorite, she wondered if he felt the same. Kids lost to circumstances different but, pain was pain. “Thank you for listening to me, Landon. For wanting to be there. You have no idea how much that means.” It reminded her of what her family bled and pledged for again and again. Always and Forever. Maybe their own version, but would that be so bad?

landon really wanted to believe hope, believe that they were going to fix whatever havoc she had wreaked.  and a part of him did believe it, had always believed in hope, since the day he met her.  but if the ancestors, whoever was coming for her, were as vindictive as she said, he was having a hard time seeing an easy solution.  it was hard for him to have faith in others, but if he was going to have faith in anybody, it was going to be hope.  “yeah . . .  i’ve never been a big christmas guy.  it’s — tough.  you know?  i mean, of course you do.  um.  yeah.  holding out for a quiet one, though.”  he wanted to hit himself.  landon wondered if he was ever going to be able to not put his foot in his mouth.  “um.  you know, i’ve spent the last couple with raf, but this is gonna be the first one i’m actually excited for?  like, getting to spend time with people.”  it had never felt like he’d find that, but he had, and it was right here, in mystic falls.  somewhere between the two schools.  “of course, hope.  i’m always here for you.  and i know i said this before, but uh, i’m really glad you’re back, y’know.”

[landnkrby]

ofmagicdescent‌:

laughing josie shook her head, “i’m glad your plan worked out in both our favours,” she teased lightly, returning his smile with one of her own. with eager excitement josie took the spoon from landon with a bright smile on her lips. stubbornly digging into the ice cream, finding melting bits towards the edges which wouldn’t cause the spoon to bend in half. this felt easy. that had been the charm about being with landon - it wasn’t complicated, it wasn’t full of fights and drama the way her relationship with penelope had been. being with landon and falling for him over the course of the summer had just come easy. they had both needed someone and found it in each other without expectations. josie watched the shock on his face when landon realized he had called himself her boyfriend and giggled faintly, pressing a hand to her mouth in order to suppress her laughter. she wasn’t as much laughing at him as much as she was expressing an elated form of joy. “you are a good boyfriend,” josie insisted gently, leaning over to press a quick kiss to his cheek before stealing some of the ice cream from his pint, “there’s not really any answers for how to go about this whole thing… i think we’re doing okay all things considered?”

“me too,”  he admitted, letting out a sigh of relief he hadn’t realized he was holding in.  losing hope, that emptiness he felt had scared him.  and with raf being stuck in wolf form, it had felt like he’d had nobody to turn to.  but then josie came around, and they were able to forget their troubles the more time they spent with each other.  things just felt so easy with josie.  and landon was trying his best to be natural, because that should have been all it took, but he was so concerned about screwing things up that he ended up overthinking things.  “i am?”  that was news to him.  before he could blush too much over the peck, josie was stealing his ice cream, and he wondered if it was a ploy.  “hey!”  he retaliated and stole a bite from her pint, leaning into her as she continued.  his heart started picking up the tempo again.  at some point, they were gonna have to talk about the whole . . .  remembering hope thing.  the whole thing sucked, and he was amazed at josie’s confidence, or trust, or whatever enabled her not to ask questions.  because he was pretty sure he wasn’t ready to answer those yet.  “if you think we’re doing okay, then i think we’re doing okay.”  landon swallowed hard, trying to ignore the lump in his throat.

[landnkrby]

chevalicrs‌:

‘are you KIDDING ME–’ speaking to no one and honestly just raging to herself, stefanie felt a wave of disgust just shadow over her body. a midnight snack was practically dragging her out of bed, but of course. OF COURSE. this place had a way of ruining even just the simplest of things for the young girl.  with a pile of blood bags having fallen from the fridge she stood before, stefanie honestly contemplated walking away from the scene and just letting the others deal with mess. her hunger was killed and that was punishment enough for her ‘sneak food’ scheme, was piling back the blood buffet really necessary for her at this point? yes. she could her her mothers kind tone echo in her mind, a form of guilting her mother was gifted at instilling into stefanie even when she wasn’t anywhere in sight.  ‘i hope this crap is expired..’ she mumbled under her breath, finding herself crouching down to balance as many bags in her arms as she could before she stood once more. it was an act wasted– not even seconds later her hands fumbled, a few more finding themselves snug and secure on the floor where they began not long ago. in a shaken state, she turned her body towards the sound of footsteps, holding two bags of blood as some sort of.. failed weapon? ‘who’s there?!’ real tough stef, REAL tough.

landon had had enough staring at the ceiling for one night.  there was too much on his mind to really rest, at any point.  and yeah, sure, it was probably taking its toll on him.  but what was he gonna do?  die of exhaustion and come back to life a couple hours later?  on second thought, that wasn’t the worst plan.  but not tonight.  he took to his usual aimless pacing around the school, although it was getting too cold to go out onto the grounds.  and after accidentally hitting every creaky floorboard in the entire school, he found himself in the kitchen, being held up at — blood-bag-point?  amazing.  still, he held up his hands all the same, partially out of surprise and partially teasing.  “weird, i didn’t peg you for a b-positive kinda girl.”  landon got a kick out of his joke, but it appeared he was the only one.  “just me, don’t worry.  what, did you misplace the ketchup?”

[fireburnsout-deactivated2020041]

1.02 || 2.03

[landnkrby]

mysticmikaelson‌:

There was only so much she could keep him from, protect him from when he was so determined. But Hope wasn’t alone, not anymore. And that meant maybe it was time for a new outlook, no matter how much it frightened her. She grabbed for his hand before she could second guess it, urging him to look at her, hoping he could see how much she meant her words as her grip hopefully camouflaged the way her hands shook. “I don’t know how to change what’s coming. But I don’t want to make the same mistakes as before. I don’t want to hurt you, or anyone else in some attempt to be the hero. I can’t fix this alone, and you can’t protect me from something you don’t know is coming. So–do it with me. Just face it with me, do it together. Just promise me you’ll fight with me and not for me in some dangerous risky plan, and i’ll promise I won’t shut you out. Not ever , not anymore.” Belatedly, she tacked on to the end after a pause – “super squad, right?”

he had glanced down at his feet, confidence losing steam fast while she revealed more about what had truly happened. but landon couldn’t hide the shock on his face when she grabbed his hand, so much so that he looked back up at her, the eye contact stirring up something buried deep in his chest.  the way she sounded, he probably would have gone along with anything she said.  he knew she wasn’t bullshitting him.  they had promised each other honesty, even if it had been taking them a little longer to own up to it recently.  “okay.  yeah, hope.  you’re right.  okay?  we’re in this together.  no playing martyr this time, though.  that’s gotta be part of the deal.”  the mention of the super squad brought him back to his senses, and he dropped their hands once more.  all of them were in this together.  of course.  it wasn’t going to be just the two of them, because the two of them were no longer together.  “right.  super squad!”  he tried his best to sound enthusiastic.

[landnkrby]

lizziesaltzmvns‌:

she was supposed to be studying, but the words were swimming in front of her. she’d never been the particularly studious type, and she didn’t really see that changing anytime soon. she sighed, shoving the book away from her and leaning back in the chair to focus on something – anything – else. it was just as she shoved the book away that she noticed landon sitting across from her. she scoffed, her face almost comical looking. “seriously?” she asked, “that’s your opening line?” lizzie rolled her eyes, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms. “what exactly makes you think i would even know what a tolkien is?”

and as soon as the words fell out of his mouth, landon began to regret saying them.  his lips pressed into a tight smile as he tried his best to remain friendly.  he didn’t want lizzie hating him, especially now that he was dating josie.  so here he was, extending an olive branch, even though he was about eighty percent sure he hadn’t done anything to earn her scorn.  just in case?  “i figured you would’ve kicked me under the table if i said, ‘hey lizzie, what’s up?’” landon shrugged and continued.  “well, the first hobbit joke i didn’t think much of it.  i’m short, it’s an easy shot, whatever.  but unless you’ve been spending a lot of time on the lord of the rings wikipedia page . . .  call it a hunch.”

[landnkrby]

ofmagicdescent‌:

in a use of magic that had been chastised by her father many times before josie didn’t rise from her bed when it knocked on the door, instead murmuring an incantation letting it open gently. landon’s voice brought her attention to him from the book resting in front of her on the bedcovers, smiling softly as she saw the collection of ice cream and makeshift bouquet of flowers in his hands. “apology accepted,” she hummed, swinging her legs to the side of the bed to stand, making her way over in order to help unload some of the peace offerings he had come with, “i’m sorry too,” josie insisted; communication was a two way street and since hope’s return neither her nor landon had been very good at it, but it didn’t mean her stomach didn’t flutter upon the sight of the boy appearing in her doorway.

“as long as you know i am going to steal a couple spoons of your mint choc chip ice cream, i am definitely going to choose cookie dough,” the brunette proclaimed, grabbing the pint of choice from his hands, making her way back over to the bed to close the book over, making room for him to join her as she crossed her legs beneath her smile on her lips, “i missed hanging out with you these past couple of weeks,” josie admitted softly, urging the lid of the ice cream pint open with her fingers.

it took everything in him not to heave a sigh of relief when she relieved him of his gifts.  it wasn’t like any of it was heavy, but the ice cream was starting to get really cold on his arms, and he didn’t know how much longer those flowers were gonna stay balanced.  as he crossed over to the bed, he stuck them in the first vaguely vase-adjacent object he could find.  landon really hoped those weren’t growing for some magical reasons, but . . .  that was a later issue, right?  “as long as you don’t mind me stealing a couple bites of yours, then my plan worked out perfectly.”  he offered a slight grin, the most genuine smile he’d allowed someone else to see in a while.  he sat down next to her, realizing as soon as he sat down that he’d almost forgotten something:  landon pulled the spoons out of his pocket, offering one up to josie.  “might need that.”  he opened up his own ice cream, though she spoke up before he could begin eating.  “i missed you too, josie.  i — i don’t really know what i’m doing?  in case that wasn’t obvious.  and i know that isn’t a good excuse, it’s just.  the truth, you know?  and i wanna do this right, because i wanna be a good boyfriend, and . . . ”  landon trailed off, realizing he’d definitely said the B word out loud and hadn’t just imagined it.  in a panic, he started shoving ice cream in his mouth to deflect.  “this mint choco is great, by the way,”  he said, mouth full of dessert.

[landnkrby]

mysticmikaelson‌:

She couldn’t help but laugh, half the time it was either that or cry at the karmic circumstance of it all. “You were the only one I think I could tell. It’s always been different, talking to you.” Hope half admits, half blurts out without much control. She’d wanted to tell him everything, from the moment she’d returned from the pit. The touch to her shoulder had her glancing back up to meet his eyes again, the comfort it brought too familiar. “Knight in shining phoenix feathers, landon kirby.” she murmured. “they terrify me landon. they tore my aunt to shreds years ago for defying them, and it was as easy as breathing. They don’t have to kill you to make it hurt. To hurt either of us, any of us.” Hope didn’t want to scare him either but a part of her needed him to realize what he meant, what she couldn’t lose. “I can’t let you risk yourself, not for me. If something happened…I don’t want to think about what that would mean, a world where you weren’t here.” It sounded awful phrased that way, but shock value was a thing right? Jesus, she needed a filter. “Told you I was selfish.”

slowly, landon dropped his hand.  ostensibly, because if hope was afraid, then he was afraid.  maybe he’d spoken too soon about them having to go through him.  but he wasn’t about to go back on his word, especially not when it came to protecting hope.  hope, who was finally in front of him again and was very much not his girlfriend and yet here they were, in unnecessarily close quarters.  realizing he hadn’t said anything, landon cleared his throat and spoke up.  “hope.  i — we just got you back.  i’m not gonna lose you again.  not even you snapping my neck is gonna stop me from protecting you this time.  whatever it takes, okay?”

[landnkrby]

mysticmikaelson‌:

Hope bit her lip, contemplating how to begin, where to leave off, any of it really. “Just…sit, get comfortable.” She offered, gesturing to the seat in front of her. It was a long and convoluted story, but she guessed he wouldn’t mind bullet points. If anyone deserved a bit of honesty, he was one of the few. “So…I got out of Malivore. I came back here and saw you guys that night–” she averted her gaze, focusing on her hands. “I couldn’t do it by myself, any of it. I–I was scared and no one remembered me, even my family.” She’d lost always and forever, and it had felt anything but okay. “So I went to Alaric. And he believed me, mostly. I think. But I realized that without any of the memories behind it, I couldn’t do it to him, risk any of you. But another even more selfish part of me… I didn’t know how to be alone. I couldn’t do it. As much as I wish i’d been strong enough to just bear it, I couldn’t. I’d lost everyone. I lost you.”

Clearing her throat, she steeled herself once more, continuing on. “I’d heard rumors once from my Aunt Freya of a town called Greendale. The magic there was supposed to be powerful. Too powerful, and there was a witch who’d conquered death once. Or so they whispered about, I guess. So I went there instead, and I met Sabrina. She had someone of her own to get back. From hell where her father was in his body but that’s not important–” Everyone had family issues, that had been made apparent. “We made a promise, to help each other. And we did. She got Nick back, and I got my family. The spell used a different magic, – uhm, darker magic. There was a price, and her dad came for us. Her dad is Lucifer, by the way? That’s a whole other thing. But we had to strike a deal to keep it permanent. I didn’t realize it would bring everyone back, who’d ever left us. But–I’m not sorry Landon. Not for any of it. And I have to be okay if that’s not okay,  because I know it’s selfish, I do–” Hope was the one rambling now, and she cut herself off before it could continue on much further. Her voice dropped, a low murmur of what it was, and still seeping with the tiniest tremor. 

“I think it made them mad. The ancestors. We disturbed the natural balance doing what we did. I think that’s why the monsters are back. They want something in return.” It was only a fraction of what the bigger picture was beginning to paint, but it was as honest as she could be right now without all the puzzle pieces. She let the silence linger for a second, voice still shaky if not amused. “Still sure you wanted to know?”

landon followed her lead  (as always)  and sat down.  he’d asked for story time, and he’d gotten it.  there were a few points that he considered interjecting, but the look of determination on her face  — and the fact that he’d asked for this — kept his mouth shut until she was finished.  “wow.  uh, that’s . . .  you know, i don’t know what i was expecting, but.  wow.”  he scratched the back of his head, taking it all in.  christ.  “um.  thanks for telling me, for one.  i know it wasn’t easy for you to put it all out there like that.  god.  okay.  lucifer’s real.  i’m not sure why i’m even surprised, i mean — my father is a mud pit that erases things from existence.”  besides the point.  landon stood up as he began to piece it all together aloud.  “that.  i hate to say makes sense, because it clearly doesn’t, but that does explain the monsters and the getting our memories back and the dead returning and the freaky shit at the ball.”  he could see that hope was scared, even if only a little, and that was probably what worried him most of all.  instinctively, he reached out and put a hand on her shoulder.  “i’m not gonna let them do anything to hurt you, hope.  they’re gonna have to go through me, and i can’t die.  so best of luck to the ancestors.”

[landnkrby]

mysticmikaelson‌:

A part of Hope hated the smile on the edge of her lips the moment she spotted Landon, seeing him did nothing to dull the ache in her chest. Still, she missed him, and they were going to be friends, right? Friends talked. Granted certain specifics seemed a bit out of the question but– she could give him what she could. “Hi, Landon. Nice to see you.” The girl grinned, small smirk on her lips. But a sigh followed next, knowing he had a point. Beyond the protecting because wasn’t that something he did for Josie now? So maybe a small portion of her was still smarting but, sue her. “Okay, alright. What do you want to know?”

“oh.  hi.  uh, you too.”  he gave her a small nod.  off to a great start, landon chided himself.  the boy racked his brain, trying to figure out what he was even trying to learn.  besides, well, everything.  “a timeline would be nice?  you dove into the pit, fill in the blank here, came back out, went back to new orleans?  and somewhere between there and here, you got all of us our memories back.”  landon swallowed, mouth feeling dry.  just saying it out loud did nothing to clear things up like he’d thought it would.  “and also, uh.  raised the dead?  i guess.  am i missing anything?”  a loaded question if there ever was one.  he was practically begging her to just tell him everything.  this was his best shot.  they’d promised each other honesty, in what felt like another lifetime.  he was mostly sure he could handle it.

[landnkrby]

landon had been doing his best to give hope space.  even though she kind of already had three months of it, whenever she decided to come back into their memories but not their lives, but whatever.  he was really working on forgiving her, and that was going to come a lot easier if they actually spoke.  “okay so listen.  i know you kind of broke the world and all, but i’m gonna need specifics.  freaky stuff is gonna keep happening, and i need to know how to protect you from whatever’s coming next.  so come on.  story time.” // @mysticmikaelson​

[landnkrby]

when landon first remembered hope, he was filled with this weird sadness that they had felt so deeply for each other and she’d gone and made sure he’d forgotten all about it.  and then she didn’t come right back to mystic falls, and he was mad, and then she showed up and broke up with him again  (in case snapping his neck and diving into malivore hadn’t been enough of a relationship-ender).  and all the while, his newly developed feelings for josie had never wavered, which really just confused him even further.  but he wanted to be a good boyfriend, because josie deserved that, and so much had been going on recently, they hadn’t exactly had a ton of quality time.  

“this is my apology for being a little distant,”  he said, holding out two pints of ice cream,  “and this is because they looked really pretty when i walked through the greenhouse, and i’m about 75% sure they’re just growing for decoration,” landon added as he produced a small bunch of flowers, perhaps too few to call a bouquet.  “i, uh, couldn’t remember if you liked cookie dough or mint chocolate chip better, so i got both.  and i figured i’d eat whichever you didn’t want.  so i’m really kinda hoping the cookie dough is your favorite.” // @ofmagicdescent​

[landnkrby]

landon slid into the first open chair he could find and tossed his books onto the table.  only once he’d made too much of a scene to turn back did he realize who he’d sat across from.  great.  he flipped through one of his textbooks, ignoring the feeling of lizzie’s stare.  he didn’t even bother to see if she actually was.  it was just the energy she gave off whenever he was around.  “so, uh,”  finally, he spoke up, if nothing else then to fill the silence.  “i wouldn’t have taken you for a tolkien fan.” // @lizziesaltzmvns​

[toomucharitime]

We came to protect the bonsai-headed boy.