2 minutes from midnight

he/him | 21

[recommend]

Farmers Are Protecting Their Cows From Frostbite With Earmuffs

[uniej]

[softwaring]

nice

[threefeline]

WE LOVE AND CHERISH A GOOD BOY 

[johnnyslittleanimalblog]

[dnald]

[dnald]

[stimmytyler-deactivated20200301]

sesame street gets exponentially funnier as you age. god i love it

[madeofklay]

“What’s that crossing the street?” “A cat, probably.” “Probably?” “Probably.”

[busket]

double the joxters

[pumpkinspicedcoochie-deactivate]

it really does only take one basket of laundry you procrastinate putting away before your whole life turns to shit huh

[stabsinthe-archive]

“you cannot kill me in a way that matters” is so raw and powerful but it comes from an incomprehensible shitpost about mushrooms

[andthentheywilleatthestars]

add it to the list boys

[mckitterick]

[mens-rights-activia]

>Went to school in my bear fursuit

>Teacher told me to take the whole thing off because it was against the dress code

>She let me keep the arm parts on though

[user25694]

why she let you keep on the arms??

[mens-rights-activia]

>my constitutional right to bear arms

[turing-tested]

worm OFF a string

[lilacbreastedroller]

a chapterbook: *came with a stitched in ribbon bookmark, had a cloth spine, had those rough edged finished pages, or came with a map*

8 year old me: i am a 500 year old librarian and this is the most valuable book in my collection. i rescued it myself from a castle as it burned to the ground. *gingerly runs my little grubby hands down its spine and gazes wistfully out of the school bus window* i am the keeper of all civilization’s knowledge

[off-with-the-faeries]

[milanesasaregreat-blog]

*watches recipe in cookbook*

Okay so I need 3 eggs

*walks over the fridge*

3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs 3 eggs

*opens fridge*

Wait was it 2 eggs

[glazecake]

ryanpernofski on ig

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

hmmm