landonfell:
It was true that Landon had spent most of his life being selfish, thinking of himself, his needs and wants, and obliviously disregarding the feelings of those around him. Finally, that egotistical personality trait was dissipating slowly, the older and wiser he became. It took him longer than it should have to realize the world doesn’t, in fact, revolve around him. Maybe that was why he had struggled with commitment issues. This was partly due to his upbringing and lack of parental supervision. Even regarding place of residence, he was indecisive and over the last five years, he had moved more than a handful of times. No amount of money satisfied him. He found that the more he made, the more he spent, and even after spending ungodly amounts on the most frivolous of things, he realized materialistic things do not matter. Every relationship after Liv never worked out or lasted, even women that were exceptional. They were no match for Olivia Emerson, the sweetest, most beautiful girl he had ever seen. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her again, and so he knew he had to be very careful with her feelings now.
His eyes lingered on her as she spoke about the memories of this room. It looked different now, but he knew from the moment he walked in, this was the room. They had so many nights here….he fought the urge to bite his lip just remembering some of those times. At her question, he raised his eyebrows. “Actually, the contrary - it feels like it’s been a million years for me,” he said. Landon smiled then and watched her turn away shyly to pull down blankets and pillows from the cupboard. “No, I’ve got everything I need here. Thank you.”
“I apologize if this is inappropriate to say; to be honest, I wanted to say it earlier. You have grown into the most gorgeous woman. I’m proud of you. I know that your mom would be, too,” he murmured.
Trying to lighten things up a bit, he started with, “So…” and smiled at her again. “Guess your room is the master now?” he asked as a question. It looked like she cleared things out throughout the house, it was much less cluttered than he remembered.
A sad smile found its way on to her lips as Landon said it felt like it had been a million years ago that they were in this room together. She agreed with that as well, it felt like both; no time had passed yet it also felt like a million years. When they broke up, it hit Olivia hard. It had been such a long time since she had been on a date even now. She had dated few and far between. The longest relationship she had since Landon had only been a few short months. As horrible as it sounded, any other relationship was easily forgettable compared to Landon Fell. There was no other person she connected with like him. There was a part of her now hoping that he wouldn’t leave again but she pushed that away. Not daring her mind to go there and wonder what if.
Her eyes watered a bit as he told her that he was proud of her and her mother would be too. “Thank you,” she told him with a small smile. “You know, I’m proud of you, too, for being the great man I always knew you could be,” she told him softly. Even if they hadn’t talked, Liv always tried to make sure he was okay through Sam. Though those updates had been slim the past year with her strange behavior.
“Yeah, I took over the master,” Olivia nodded. She bit her lip, slightly nervous, at the thought of asking him to her bedroom. Almost feeling like a teenager again before she brushed that off quickly. “I can show you, if you want,” she questioned with a raised brow. “I am sure I have some old pictures that we can laugh about,” a giggle escaping her lips at the thought of some of the childhood pictures she knew she possessed. “But if you are ready to go to bed, I understand. It’s been a long day,” she sighed, glancing up at him trying to read his face.
The air between them somehow felt electric. His whole body felt tingly and this gooey feeling of comfort was washing through him. This felt more like home than anything Landon had ever known; from his family life growing up, to the past several years as an adult. Why had he ever stopped talking to her? At this moment, he knew more than ever that he was an idiot. Looking around, he almost felt Sam’s presence. Like she was here watching over them. Whether she ever got over her brother being in love with her best friend or not, he was certain that he was exactly where he was supposed to be right now.
Pushing thoughts of grief aside, he stood from where he’d been sitting, their eyes locking. The way she looked at him was unlike anything else. Just in these last few hours catching up, it felt like she was back in his life like a moth to a flame. “I thought you’d never ask. I’ve been waiting for the house tour,” he joked. “I haven’t been here in so long. Everything looks completely the same, but different somehow. It must have been strange for you taking over the whole place for yourself.”
He rolled his eyes. “Ah yes, let’s take a stroll down memory lane, shall we? I look back at my old pictures and all I can think is: why did I insist to keeping my hair long? That messy overgrown thing I had going. I started cutting it real short recently.” he said, smirking at her. That little giggle made him bite his lip. She mentioned about bedtime and his eyes met hers. “I’m along for the ride, as long as there’s alcohol involved? It has been a long day.”
Olivia watched him carefully with a small smile at her lips as he looked at the old pictures. She could never forget his messy hair from their teenage years because he thought he looked cool that way. “It was cute,” she giggled as he criticized his younger self. “But I have to admit…I like it short like this better,” she spoke softly, eyes trailing up toward his much shorter hair. It made him look mature and older in the best way. It was much too easy for her to get lost in thoughts of Landon, something she had built a wall against for years. It was always apparent to her that something was missing her life when he left, but she never realized it was this extreme.
“Of course alcohol is involved,” she confirmed like that should have been obvious for a late night stroll down memory lane. “Whiskey okay with you?” She asked as she lead him back down the stairs to the living room. She slipped into the kitchen momentarily for the bottle and two glasses. How quickly this day had gone from a normal shift at the hospital to seeing her ex and finding out her best friend had died. It had become an emotional roller coaster, but she couldn’t be more happy to be in his presence again. “So what has kept you from home for long?” She asked as she sat down next to him. “We already discussed my sad, boring life. Let’s hear about yours because I know you well enough to know it’s exciting,” she took a sip of her drink, enjoying the burn and needing the liquid courage.
Landon tore his eyes from the photo, gazing up at her. He couldn’t understand these feelings rushing through him. Had he not realized how special and amazing she was, all those years ago? Had he forgotten how she made him feel? He couldn’t deny that he enjoyed knowing she liked his new haircut, more than he probably should for a long-lost ex boyfriend.
At the mention of whiskey, he followed behind her back down to the living room. Landon made himself comfortable on the sofa, enjoying the heat radiating from the fireplace. He got lost in the flames, and his thoughts. “Something about tonight is different. It feels like home in a new way. The snow fall, fire, reminiscing….” he started. Liv had gone to collect glasses from the kitchen. He smiled as she returned, her beautiful self coming back into sight. He blinked at her question, swallowing a lump of guilt, and took the glass of whiskey she offered. As she took a sip of her drink, he took advantage of the opportunity and copied her. Needing it more than he’d thought, when he set it down, the glass was nearly empty. Landon licked his lips, enjoying the warm feeling spreading through him.
“Liv,” he murmured. “A lot of it has to do with problems between me and my parents. I should’ve said ‘to hell with them’ and lived my life the way I wanted. Back then, I mean. We don’t talk much anymore.” His eyes dropped to the floor, then he looked back up at her. This wasn’t exactly the conversation he wanted to have, although he was sure she deserved much more than his bullshit excuses. For just a second, Landon wondered what it would be like to live a more “carpe diem” life, where he ceased every moment and didn’t waste moments and time. The fire between them was undeniable. “You know me better than anyone. I used to be exciting, huh? Not sure what happened… I became boring. I’m getting old. The excitement of life has disappeared. I’ve got a very small circle.”
The more they talked, the more he sat there beside her…. smelling her gorgeous fragrance, feeling the warmth of her body, and this sort of chemistry that felt like it was blazing between them. Landon’s nerves and senses were extremely heightened. He told her about college, his career, his lack of love or dating, and the emptiness he felt over the past few years. “Mind if I grab the bottle?” he asked, eyes meeting hers. Why was he so attracted to her? It was unlike anything, ever. Landon grabbed the bottle from the kitchen and then returned to sit next to her. Eyes on his work, he poured more liquor into his glass, putting it to his lips for another long drink. “I promise I’m not an alcoholic,” he said, chuckling. Landon knew the liquor was starting the blur the lines for him a bit. He was feeling pretty nice. He turned his body to face her now. Landon touched her cheek, playing with a piece of her hair and tucked it back behind her ear. “I’m sorry for staying away from you. I promise I won’t do it again,” he said. Landon touched his forehead to hers. “Do you even know the affect you have on me, Liv?” he asked her.
Time stopped for no one yet timing was everything. Something Liv had learned long ago with Landon. It was gut wrenching when he left her all those years ago. However, there was always this part of her that held out hope for him. She was well aware of how rare it was to meet your soul mate as a child but she had watched way too many rom-coms. She knew that the feeling she had with Landon was once in a lifetime. “I’m sorry that you aren’t closer with your parents,” she spoke softly, her eyes never leaving his sullen face. She couldn’t imagine what that might be like as her relationship with her mom had been much different. When he admitted that he was getting old, she let out a real laugh, making it feel like forever since she had even smiled properly. “We aren’t old,” she smiled, “well you might be but I’m not.” His smile was infectious to her and it made her cheeks hurt. “Maybe you just aren’t happy with the party life anymore because you priorities in life are changing with age,” she shrugged her suggestion to him. “Not a bad thing,” she added. A night drinking and talking with Landon was beyond what she thought it would be when she found him on her doorstep. She watched him carefully as he disappeared into the kitchen to retrieve the bottle they were working on. She was definitely feeling a buzz, her skin warm and slightly pink. “I couldn’t blame you if you were an alcoholic,” she giggled, “You do own a club or two.” A spark ignited her as his hand brushed against her cheek. Her breath had picked up as his forehead touched hers. “No,” she breathed out quietly, trying her best not to look at his lips. She had truly never known the affect she had on him because it hadn’t occurred to her. “After all this time?” She spoke, meeting his eyes slowly. If she had such an affect on him, why had he left in the first place? Her hand found his, still twirling her hair, and she squeezed it affectionately. “How could I trust that you wouldn’t leave again?” You could hear the pain in her voice as she asked the vulnerable question, eyes still on his.
Drinking caused him to be blunt, honest, and forget all inhibitions, but Landon always kept his judgment intact and he had never been a liar. He was a protector; throughout his childhood upbringing, he found himself constantly responsible for his little sister, and subsequently her best friend, stepping up as a caregiver. Once they were grown and all went their own ways, he regretted how he selfishly lost touch, focusing on his own desires. Now all these years later, realizing what mattered most. He would not let go of this happiness. He wanted her again. It was no rash decision, as he had known his entire life that what they have is real and she is his forever.
The last thing Landon ever wanted was to hurt Liv, or to get her hopes up only to disappoint her. “How could I trust that you wouldn’t leave again?” she asked, causing knots to form in his stomach.
“First of all, I’m an idiot. Second, I’m not so arrogant to think I deserve your instant trust, Olivia,” he spoke. Something about saying her full name. Something in the back of his mind was telling him to not overpromise, but instead show her with actions. “If you ever decided to be mine again….I want it to be when you are ready,” he murmured. “When I’ve proved my love to you.”
“I’m sorry I’m fucked up,” he said honestly. Landon chuckled lightly, embarrassed but it was relieving to admit. “I’m worse than that dude from 50 shades of grey.” His head drooped a little. Her forehead felt warm against his and he couldn’t help but feel so comfortable there. When he pulled his head back and his eyes met hers, she gave him the courage. “No matter how long we’re apart or how far away we are, I promise I will always love you.”
Being alone for so long made you forget what certain things felt like. For example, the love of your life electric touch. Olivia couldn’t concentrate on anything but the man in front of her. It was easy to become lost in him and that fact terrified her to no end. A battle between her head and heart was confusing her. Her brain told her that she shouldn’t immediately trust his word, while her heart wanted to jump in his arms and never let go. Growing up, she had always been one to follow her heart no matter how much it might hurt her. She didn’t care about the risk. Now, the risk scared her more than she wanted to admit to herself. Things change as you get older and it’s not as easy to be vulnerable. His velvet voice was speaking all the sweet nothings that she had been longing to hear from him. Landon was saying everything right, he always did, but that fear was in the back of her mind. However once he said that he would always love her no matter what happened, she decided she would be throwing all caution to the wind, ignoring her head. “Landon, I don’t care how fucked up you think you are,” she spoke, a little more assertive than she would normally sound. “I want you,” a whisper left her lips, her eyes trailing back up to his while her hand wandered down his arm, barely grazing his skin. “All I have always wanted is you,” she reiterated. “Why can’t you ever see that?” She asked the similar question he had asked her earlier. “It’s always been you for me and I think it’s impossible for me to stop loving you,” she confessed. Not waiting for his answer, she leaned in and kissed him softly, feeling the electric current between them once more.
The assertiveness in her tone was sexy. He loved how passionate she was to the core. So genuinely sweet, but he knew the fiery temper within her. “I want you,” she whispered. The words caused a heat to rise in him, an indent forming through his pants where his member was throbbing for her. Her soft, warm kiss nearly shocked him. This wasn’t just any kiss. She wasn’t just some woman. It was like they’d entered a whole new dimension where it was just them, right here in this moment. Nothing else mattered.
His lips parted, tongue entering her mouth. His fingers went up into her hair. He loved how soft it was. Her smell was more intoxicating than the liquor. He groaned into her mouth, kissing her for what felt like hours. He sucked on her plump bottom lip before pulling back, eyes slowly opening to look at her. “Your skin tastes so sweet,” he breathed into her ear. His lips moved carefully down her cheek, neck, and shoulder, then back up and kissed her lips again. He laid his back down onto the sofa, pulling her atop him. Landon wrapped his arms around her body, hand lingering on the small of her back. This was everything he needed.
“I’ll never leave you again,” he promised, breaking the silence. The fireplace crackled soothingly. Landon was playing with her hair. “If I do, I’m making you come with me. You must have a few vacation days saved up. Maybe you can come with me to London for a business conference in a few months?” He kissed her forehead, eagerly awaiting her answer. It felt like the start of a new chapter: forever. This almost felt too good to be true.
It felt like no time had passed between the two as his fingers found her blonde hair, the passion igniting. She could feel the warmth spread through her body as he groaned in to her mouth, more of a turn on that she remembered. She moaned softly as he broke from her mouth to make a trail down. Her breath was coming out quickly as he laid them back and she came back to reality. The last thing she expected was to ever be like this with him again after so many years apart.
“I hope you mean it this time,” she replied softly against his chest as he caressed her long blonde hair. Every part of her believed him, but there was still the voice in the back of her head that told her to be cautious. “I’ve never been to London before,” her head shot up to look at him with an ecstatic grin on her face. “I have two weeks of vacation saved up,” she informed him. “Just let me know the dates. I don’t go back to work for another two days,” she smiled sweetly, never wanting this time between them to end.
She wondered what their next days together would hold. Olivia was well aware that they would be quiet like their time now. He still needed to see his parents about Samantha. Just thinking her name to herself hurt. What she would think of them right now, right back to where the used to be again. She knew that Sam would be happy, knowing how heartbroken Liv was about him for so long. Sam had tried so many times to get her to go out and meet someone knew, but Liv never made it far. It was rare that she would go out and when she did, she never found anyone she really connected with. “Are you tired?” She asked quietly looking up at him, wondering what was going through his head in the small span of silence.
This was the most calm he had been in longer than he could remember. Landon was so used to being alone, being aware of the time, constantly working and neglecting his personal life. Right now, not the time, work, missed phone calls, emails....nothing mattered. “Yeah, I guess I’d be lying if I said no,” he said. “It’s been a roller coaster of a day. I’m just so comfortable here with you, I don’t want to move. This house is so cozy.” He snickered and kissed her forehead gently. “What about you? I feel bad, you must have worked a long shift. I’m glad you have a few days off. You deserve it, love.” Landon tried so hard to stay awake. At her mention of London, he started fantasizing about how different life, including traveling, would be with her by his side. He wanted to see the excitement in her eyes and make her happy.
In the middle of the night, he awoke with sweat dewing across his forehead. The fire was burning strong and it had gotten hot. Liv was laying with him, nestled into the sofa. Soundlessly standing up, he went to the fireplace, grabbing the poker and spreading out the embers to stop the fire. As he returned to her, smiling softly as he gazed at her beautiful face, he couldn’t help the admiration he felt. She was so kind, thoughtful, and caring. Her mother would be proud. He hoped that if Liv’s mom or Sam could see him now that they would be proud that they were back together. Thoughts of proposing were already filling his mind, but he was certain he needed to both give her some time and prove himself to her, as well as plan it perfectly - she deserved the best.
Leaning down, he scooped her up gently into his arms, bridal style. Landon tried very hard to not jostle her too much. He didn’t want to wake her. When he reached the top of the stairs, he panicked for a moment when trying to decide if it was appropriate to keep her with him, in his bed. Was it too soon? Women were complex creatures with sensitive feelings. The last thing he wanted was to screw up. “To hell with it,” he mouthed. Olivia was his and he was not going to sleep anywhere but next to her, so he brought her to the guest room bed. After laying her down, he pulled off his trousers and shirt, climbing into bed next to her.
