׺°”˜`”°º× new as dew ׺°”`˜”°º×

`•.,¸¸,.•´¯ laney white. 22. ¯`•.,¸¸,.•´ “You tried to change didn’t you? closed your mouth more tried to be softer, prettier less volatile, less awake but even when sleeping you could feel him travelling away from you in his dreams so what did you want to do love split his head open? you can’t make homes out of human beings someone should have already told you that and if he wants to leave, then let him leave you are terrifying and strange and beautiful something not everyone knows how to love.” ─ warsan shire

[laneybound-blog]

“i’m not saying i’m a terrible person, i’m just saying that if i could make a career out of it i’d definitely excell in teaching people how to make their’s and their loved ones’ lives a complete and utter mess of shit.”

[laneybound-blog]

nsfwollie:

he moves to hang up the doll on the wall when her arms wrap around him. it feels like she’s lost weight in the weeks since their split - he can’t help the worry that floods through his body. oliver stiffens, freezing in laney’s embrace. all he wants to do is melt into her, let the tears burning his eyes fall as she runs her fingers through his hair, like old times. a barely-there sob he couldn’t quite suppress wracks his shoulders, and he shakes his head. ‘ no, ’ he says, voice breaking. ‘ no, you can’t do this to me, laney. ’ he unwraps her arms from around him and it feels like he’s tearing his own heart out of his chest. ollie turns and his eyes meet hers, both filled with tears. ‘ no, you left ME. you said you never would, and you DID, and it was about - MONEY, of all things. i wasn’t enough for you. you were enough for me, you were ALWAYS enough for me, you were all i needed - i can’t, ’ he sucks in a deep breath. ‘ i can’t HANDLE you not loving me the way i love you. ’ and it’s love, present tense, because he won’t be able to hold this argument for long. it sounds weak even to his own ears.

          laney’s arms are firmly around his torso when he said no, when he pulled her off him, her arms limply went to her side, because she knows she can’t. she can’t come back into his life if she isn’t going to stay. even though she really wants to stay. she wants to crawl back into his life and squirm around until she fills all the holes again. she put her hand over her mouth to hide the frown of it, the downward pull that showed how hard she was trying not to cry. she wanted him to know how guilty she felt, but somehow crying felt weak and she knew that if she started she wouldn’t be able to stop. –her watery eyes went wide. money? money? he thought she left him because he didn’t have enough money. laney had never felt more vile before, she felt like she might just throw up in her mouth. her hand went from covering her mouth to holding her nauseous stomach. “oliver, i make my own money. i didn’t—i’d never—“ she takes a deep breath and looks down, letting her thick, long hair falling in her face. she didn’t leave oliver because of the money. she didn’t leave for any good reason, really, she just needed to save face with her family, she needed to rekindle her relationship with her mother and make her father proud but it wasn’t long after she left that she realized neither of those things would happen. she left the person she wanted to spend her life with to save face with people who wouldn’t even invite her to sunday dinners. laney takes a step back, preparing herself as she were scared off him. she looks at her feet, then the shelves and the doll and everywhere but him. “i never—i never said i didn’t love you,” she reminds him meekly, embarrassed with her own fuck ups, her own sick desperation for parental affection that she was depraved of her whole life. embarrassed that she didn’t realize he was all she needed before she kicked their relationship off the cliff.

[laneybound-blog]

alexanderwhq:

“ – Me? Dramatic? Oh, come on, Laney, you know I’m not the dramatic one out of the bunch. I’m just.. Determined. Devoted and all that shit.” Alex huffed and shook his head, pushing himself off the counter and moving towards the other side of the counter, leaning against it and looking at Laney who was leaning against the other counter, “Anyway, enough about that. You doing anything fun this weekend?” Alex asked and looked at his friend and co-worker. 

     “You are too, dramatic! Devoted, too, sure, but like─ so dramatic. I mean, come on, are you seriously gonna boycott Marvel? You love marvel, whether they turn Steve into a Nazi or not. It’s fucking Marvel.” She shakes her head and looks down, fidgeting with her cross necklace until he speaks to her again. “When have you ever known me to have fun plans? Nah, I’m just going to try and pick up some overtime, I guess, nothing better to do. Then I’ll just drink a bottle of pink wine before bed every night, obviously, nothing new.” 

[laneybound-blog]

alexanderwhq:

Alex, it’s fake, okay? I love these things as much as you do but you - you just - like - you need to chill. Alex frowned and then sighed, shaking his head as a small smile appeared on his lips. He moved a hand to the back of his neck, rubbing the skin harshly. Alex noticed Laney looking around the room, and he did too, which resulted in seeing how the comic book store had emptied out of customers. “You knew this was coming? Them turning him into a Nazi?” Alex laughed and crossed his arms over his chest once more, looking at the girl, who then said she would never watch a marvel movie with him again. He rolled his eyes, “You know that’s not true. The instant there’s a new one, you’ll be back.”

     Laney giggled and shook her head, turning around in her stool so that she could lean against the counter. “No── obviously not─ I just knew that they were gong to get bored with him. They wasted all his plot lines in like, two movies, he has nothin’ left. They made a show out of Peggy already, killed her off in the movies, and he’s all gettin’ jiggy with the daughter of the woman he loved, like─ I don’t know, he’s just so boring it’s tiring, you know??” She shrugged again and narrowed her eyes at him, reaching out an arm to playfully shove him. “I will not, I have plenty of other people to watch the Marvel movies with─” she barely has anyone to watch normal movies with, “─you’re so dramatic.”

[singingvoice]

he’s been talking to his mom on the phone a lot lately. he’s reaching out to make sure he’s not as alone as he feels - she just tells him that happy is a decision. but his forced happy echoes like a sob through the hall of his empty apartment, is hollow like his lungs feel after he’s pushed all the smoke out of them and has yet to suck in another breath. he had learned when his dad left them how to turn that hurt, that ANGER into lonely and the lonely into busy, so when he tells people he’s been REALLY BUSY lately he means he’s been smoking on the couch until he falls asleep with tv show reruns playing in the background so he can avoid confronting her seat at their - HIS - tiny kitchen table, her half of the bathroom, her side of the bed,but the depression always drags him back to the goddamn bed. he rubs his eyes, hard, for a moment, before giving her a sidelong glance out the corner of his eye. ‘ don’t insult me, i know where the g-spot is, ’ he scowls. she of all people should know that he knows that. his fingers slide in uncomfortably - he never liked the texture of plastic - and after a few seconds and a deft twist of his fingers, the voice activates and he retracts his hand hastily.

[laneybound-blog]

She doesn’t remember a time before Ollie. She was sixteen when they met, when they fell in love, devoted their lives to each other. So standing here in front of the person she thought she’d spend he rest of her life with knowing that they won’t be going home together elicits an echo in the emptiness in her chest. She looked down at her phone and pressed the center button, got a flurry of small panic when the screen didn't flicker to light. Her phone was dead and a small part of her envied it, she wished she could turn off completely, only to be turned back on when she's needed again. She feels his anger tighten the room, the walls move in closer and she feels so close to crying that she's nearly suffocating. All that tension is sitting like a rock in her throat as she watches him uncomfortably wiggle his fingers around in the crotch of a blow up sex doll. Her eyes are watery and it's kind of sad but she can't help the small grin on her face as he rips his hand out of the doll like its got teeth. Laney doesn't quite know what she's doing but she drops her stupid bag on the floor and runs forwards to collide with his back, her arms wrapping tightly around his torso. Her eyes screw shut and a few tears spill over. ' I miss you so much. '

[laneybound-blog]

nsfwollie:

‘ okay. ’ he doesn’t elaborate, doesn’t ask questions, just narrows his eyes and continues on. his brain is thinking in fragments - pieces of sentences shattered and broken and rearranged until they are in even lines, lyrics to a song he wishes he didn’t have the inspiration to write. his body is a plane on autopilot as he unfolds the doll and fits it into the inflator, blinking the glassiness away from his eyes so she wouldn’t see the haze when he turns to glance briefly over his shoulder. ‘ i’m at work. i’m working. ’ he should’ve done this hours ago, anyhow - but he’s been so FUCKING lethargic ever since she left. the apartment isn’t the same on his own - he can’t sleep, can’t seem to fit comfortably beneath the covers of his bed without her form next to him. he’s been smoking a lot. he’s stoned right now, really, and he’s glad for it because honestly if he wasn’t he wouldn’t able to feel the LITTLE disconnect that he does. (he can convince himself it’s not real. that she’s not real, that this is just a daydream. it’s easier.) it’s only moments until the doll is blown up, and he blinks at it blankly for a second before turning the inflator off and quickly plugging the air hole. ‘ this thing’s supposed to have voice recognition and shit on it, ’ he says aloud, reaching for the box to look for the instructions.

Laney’s new apartment has one bedroom, and inside is one very large bed. Comically large, really, so much so that she looks at it every night with dark, ominous eyes, knowing it’ll never be properly filled; before she crawls beneath the covers and sleeps so close to the edge you’d think she was encroaching in a stranger’s home. You could fit a family of six in the space that she doesn’t fill- the space she stares at every night before a restless sleep, imagining she and Ollie rolling around in the portentous space, limbs tangled, minds numbed from the pot and lips numbed from kissing. All of that plays fondly on a loop in the back of her mind, but atop all of that she thinks about how quickly she fell apart without him. How after she left him; she switched from joints to cigarettes, from Redbulls to whisky, from being in love to being desperate not to forget that feeling. He leaves her body slowly and then all at once. One day she forgets the feel of his hands, his lips on her collarbone, even what he smells like after a shower, and Laney waits with her palms over her eyes for the day that he absolves from her mind entirely. Whisky doesn’t sound too bad right now, actually. “Can I see?” she asks, taking a vigilant step forward towards him. She doesn’t really have to stand too close to read the words written in bold letters the instructions, and her cheeks go deep red. “You have to hit it’s g-spot,” she says quietly, pointing vaguely to the box. She steps back, leaving his bubble while her hazel eyes cast down at the floor. “Uhm, u-up and to the right,” explains Laney quietly, the blush on her cheeks deepening.

[laneybound-blog]

alexanderwhq:

“ – I don’t give a flying rat’s ass if he’s 93 or 39.” He rolled his eyes and looked at Laney, crossing his arms over his chest as she began defending Stan Lee. Well, the Marvel universe. He narrowed his eyes slightly. “He could have put his foot down, though. You do agree on that, right? Because, I mean, I thought the old man had a good head on his shoulders but if he’s letting this happen then I am seriously starting to reevaluate some things.” Alex huffed. “And there’s not like there’s enough drama in that group already? You got a girl who can play with your mind, Norse God who plays around with a fucking hammer, a man who turns into a fucking beast whenever he gets pissed off… Steve might have been boring, but at least he made the stories seem a little more… Credible. Well, as credible as possible.” 

          Laney arched a brow, rolling her eyes playfully as she listened to the boy angrily ramble on. She crossed her arms, twisting back and forth in the stool she sat on. “Nothing about that is credible, on any level,” she reminds him, taking a deep breath. “Alex, it’s fake, okay, I love these things as much as you do but you─ you just─ like─ you need to chill.” She looked around, and the comic book store had sort of emptied out, and she sighed with relief. They were both being lunatics. “Lets be real, Steve was kind of sketchy anyways. We all knew this was coming,” she shrugs, aimlessly raising her arms up as she stretched. The stretch was so comforting that it elicited a yawn and she leaned forward on the counter. “You’re tiring. We’re never going to watch another marvel with you again.” 

[laneybound-blog]

alexanderwhq:

Listening to what Laney said, Alex swallowed and nodded his head. Black Widow wouldn’t have been the biggest surprise, she was right about that, but then again; it was probably why they had decided to go with Cap, thinking that they’d do something awesome and then it all just backfired on them. Everyone who had been in the comic book store, that Alex had spoken to, had hated the idea - and he had even heard of people making petitions to prevent it from happening. If Stan Lee walked in here one day, would you honestly be able to say that to his face? Stan Lee? “Hell yeah, I would. That idiot should get his ass kicked to Mars and back, in my opinion. If he’s making this a reality. Like, come on, man… World War II, where millions of innocent people lost their lives, and millions more lost people they loved. Then comes two men, and manages to think of someone who can keep people’s spirits up, fighting the Nazis, and suddenly you decide that’s not cool enough, that he’s too good? That’s absolutely idiotic to me.” 

     Laney took a drink from her water bottle, inconveniently right before Alex declared rather aggressively that Stan Lee’s ass should be kicked, and she choked a little bit, coughing out a laugh with her hand over her mouth. “Excuse you! It’s Stan Lee. First of all, he’s 93, and second of all, we wouldn’t even have the good comics if it weren’t for him! I bet he didn’t even write the new comics, he probably has like, dementia,” she explained in Stan’s honor. “Well, I’m sorry, Alex, but Steve was getting pretty boring. They could’ve made him gay or something, that’d have been cool. But nah, they made him evil, because that was apparently move believable.” 

[laneybound-blog]

alexanderwhq:

“ – It’s fucking ridiculous what they’re doing with Captain America now. Have you heard? I mean, it’s like, let’s just shit on the dead and take away the whole purpose behind the guy - a symbol two Jews made during World War II, to give people hope and faith that things would work out and now? Now they have made it so that he’s working for the fucking Hydra all along? Making him a fucking Nazi? That shit is fucking unreal. They’re basically shooting themselves in the foot, to be honest. I think’s really going to fuck things over for them.” This was something that Alex felt extremely passionate about. He hated what Marvel had suddenly decided to do with the character, that a lot of people love and adore, “I mean, for fuck’s sake. They’re only doing it for the god damn element of surprise.”

     Laney stared at her friend with wide eyes, listening to him passionately hand Marvel Studios their ass. She could only laugh at the thought of him saying all these things to the people who wrote the comic. “That’s true, they are, but it’s probably some bullshit, I don’t really think he’d honestly be working for Hydra. I mean, that’s just too much of a stretch. Black Widdow? That I can see, because she was, you know, likes stripped of her humanity. Bruce, even, I could see, but not Steve.” She shrugs it off, ignoring the eyes on her and Alex as the whole store probably just heard his rant. “But hey, what if Stan Lee walked in here one day, would you HONESTLY be able to say that to his face? Stan Lee?”

[laneybound-blog]

nsfwollie:

he scowls, takes a few steps to the front of the store where there were more items to be stocked. his back is to her and he feels really fucking small, unable to meet the eyes of the girl he’s loved for the past seven years - oliver busies himself with plugging an air mattress inflator into the wall and unpacking a doll for the display wall, a deep frown on his face. ‘ yeah, i know. we have a window. ’ if he’s being rude it’s only because he’s trying not to be vulnerable - she broke his fucking heart, okay ?? he’s allowed to be bitter. ‘ i find that hard to believe. considering you never stopped complaining about how much you hated it. ’

all laney can think is fuck i can’t leave, now. because how symbolically shitty would that be? regardless, she’s petrified. she can’t imagine him really wanting to see her at this point, anyway, but leaving would be rude. wouldn’t it? he watches him avoid looking at her while her brown-green eyes burrow into his all-too-familiar mop of curls, willing him to turn around. not that she’d know what to say if he did, her mind is barely forming whole thoughts let alone whole sentences. her lips turn into a frown and her hand idly goes to her mouth as she fights the urge to bite her nails, a habit she fought wars to get over. lots of time (and lost sleep) went into laney reminding herself that she has no right to be sad, since she was the one who gave up, after all. she was the one who looked at their relationship like a lost cause. no use kicking a dead horse her mother would say when laney desperately sought out relationship advice from the single most useless human on planet earth. and laney likes to think that’s where she went wrong, giving up so quickly. she’s an escapist like that. “yah. i know you have a window.” her voice is toneless and bland, and if it’s because she’s trying not to cry, no one has to know. “i didn’t... i didn’t show up on purpose, i just─ you know, wanted to get out of the rain,” explains laney, uselessly, as if this were going to be a back and forth conversation. she quickly realizes how pointless that was was and she shakes her head, watching him maneuver the sex doll out of the box, causing her brows to knit together curiously. “what’re you doing?” she asks quietly (at a volume that can barely qualify as a step above a whisper). the lilt in her voice gives her away, she’s so clearly being poorly effected by walking into here of all places and seeing him of all people, so she clears her throat, hopes that she comes off as losing her voice rather than her mind.

[laneybound-blog]

alcottss:

    she gave a slow but definite shrug, bid a quick smirk towards her companion. “not as nice as yours, young madame, but true. i’d give it seven outta ten.” propping herself on her elbows, she continued checking out – the place was strangely not hectic today anyways. her supervisor would not give a single damn. “eh, let her. i’m not just staring, i’m appreciating. all the super fucking nice booties need to be appreciated! at all times, y’feel? plus i don’t think she’ll mind,” she frowned, concernedly. “right? i can’t really tell. has she noticed already?”

   “you’re a charmer.” laney giggles, one elbow on the counter as she looks between the irl behind the counter and the ass they’re both inappropriately admiring. she looks back to the brunette as she schools her on the booty appreciation, causing her to burst into giggles, which she covers with the back of her hand so as not to attract attention. “you’re not wrong. no one appreciates booties as much as they deserve,” she agrees, “besides, she should be flattered. not sure about myself but you seem.... very enamored by her ass, it’s kind of poetic, really.” 

[laneybound-blog]

nsfwollie:

his days are like clockwork - open the store at four, work until close, and lock up at 6 am. it’s a long day, but he gets an hour break and he gets paid enough to make rent AND buy food, so it’s kind of worth it. and on top of that, he has enough time to practice with Night Serial in the morning and afternoon, depending on how much sleep he gets. and so it goes - he’s organizing videos, ( sexuality ethnicity age size fetish etc ) when he catches sight of a familiar face through the metal grate of the rack. his heart drops to his stomach - he hasn’t seen her since the big breakup blowout. there was yelling and tears and GOD so much fucking hurt that he’s been trying to ignore. it all comes flooding back as he blinks at her through the gap in the pornos. ‘ ….. what the fuck are YOU doing here, laney ?? ’ it’s more surprised than angry, swallowing the pain.

laney’s mother always told her she had two very special gifts. the first was that she had a witching rod in her that sought out the worst in people like well water. the second was that she could forget the worst pain she’ll ever feel in her whole life in the drop of a hat. she supposes, now, that that’s why she didn’t remember this store. why it sparked no recollection in her brain. why she was looking up at ollie right now and the pain was flooding back to her in tsunami sized waves, making her legs feel weak enough to give out right there in that beautifully stocked aisle of pornos. she doesn’t quiet know what to say, honestly. “uhm, it’s raining,” she blurts out, immediately looking down in shame and stepping away from the shelf. “fuck...... fuck i forgot you worked here...”

[laneybound-blog]

lovelyxlucette:

      “Sorry to say, but yes. We’re screwed. —-Or! We can just ask for the next person who’ll stop by if they can lend us their phones.”

 “That might work but there is a serious shortage of kind strangers in this city. I’m going to go look for a store who had a public phone, if you want to come??”

[laneybound-blog]

simplestrosie:

      Rosie simply nodded playing with her perfectly manicured nails waiting for the girl to finish her call. The blond gave her a sweet smile nodding a little with a quiet laugh, talking to people wasn’t exactly her strong point. “It’s no problem.” She smiled with a small shrug as she took her phone back. Rose cringed a little at the thought of this small women walking alone in the city at night while it rained. “I couldn’t let someone as small as you go walking around this city.” She teased playfully before putting her dainty hand out to her “I’m Rosie. Pleasure to save your life.”

          Laney looked at the girl and a smile stretched onto her face. “I’d defend my honor if it wasn’t true. If someone attacked me I’d be a goner,” she shrugged it off. “I’m Laney,” she smiles, her right hand extending to shake hers, “Pleasure to be saved by you.” 

[laneybound-blog]

         &&; @nsfwollie

          Laney doesn’t remember the last time she had a day off work. She always thought she had so much to do, so many friends to hang out with and things to get done around the house, but she ended up being bored out of her mind and the night was still young. It didn’t help that when she finally got out of the cab to walk around and get something to drink, it started pouring. She walked into the nearest please open, stepping inside with her hands combing out her wet hair and looking at her reflection in her phone to make sure she didn’t look like hell. She looked around, and, okay, she wouldn’t walk into this place by choice in a million years, but she couldn’t very well walk outside, so she picked an isle with no one in it and started to look around aimlessly, waiting- praying for the rain to stop.

[laneybound-blog]

luca-fr:

Luca sipped her Starbucks coffee and trotted down fifth avenue, excited to have a day to herself. She checked her phone as it vibrated and noticed a text from a person she did not care to speak to. Before pushing her phone into her front pocket, Luca saw a person in front of her. “Oh!” She shrieked, spilling a few drops of coffee onto her bare toes. “Sorry! That was close,” she remarked, a smile across her face.

     Laney had rarely had days to herself, especially working for her father. If she wasn’t doing her actual job she was helping him do his, so when she finally learned she’d be getting a day off to do whatever her little heart pleased, she opted for re-discovering the city she loves so much. She’d been walking down fifth for a few hours, doing some shopping and looking for somewhere to eat, which is why her eyes were downcast at her phone when she nearly ran into someone. “Oh! Oh my gosh I’m so sorry!” she apologized profusely, a look of worry on her face. “That was almost disaster,” she eyed the coffee, wide eyes and a wider smile on her face.

[laneybound-blog]

alcottss:

“yeah. yeah, yeah. i’ll be with you in a second. it’s just, it’s just that, that–” she didn’t even bother to conceal it anymore — heather was all arched gaze and abstracted mind when she looked ahead, eyes landing one on particular costumer before them. “that ass.”

      laney couldn’t help but cough out a laugh as she followed the girl’s eyes to someone’s rear, and her face breaks out in a face-splitting smile. “it’s a nice ass, i’ll give you that,” she shrugs, letting her eyes linger for a moment. “but it’s only so long before she realizes you’re staring.”