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@lankylionheart
I’m sorry I haven’t been active on this blog. My muse comes and goes and I refuse to force it. I want being here to remain fun when I do find the muse to play. Anyway, I hope all of you are well and in a happy place where ever you are!
”Pain, just synapses firing in our brain So when you cut me, cut me deep Hurt the ones you love the most easily Cause in time we show our Achilles’s heels And woah, you’re squeezing my heart, too hard in your cold bare hands, they hold too tight And woah the air is on fire, this room feels electric, caught here in your sights”
Power - Bastille
tutorial
neverlandborn:
George’s teeth grinded again, a scowl taking over the careless grin he had been wearing seconds ago “I’m on my..who-knows-what-year of teenagehood. It’s the rebellious phase” he refused to give Felix the satisfaction of reading him right
“And i care about her. Apparently i’m the only who does around here”
“You’re wrong, you know I care about the bird...in my own way, of course. But there’s nothing to be done about it so why agonize or beat yourself up over something you have NO control over? I learned that lesson a long time ago, it was a rather painful one at that and it’s high time you accept what is. Wendy Darling BELONGS to Peter Pan, do you understand what that means? Do you, lil peck?”
kingoftheneverwoods:
“It’s been a few days.” If you didn’t count the scraps he found outside of Granny’s after closing. He was starting to think the old lady left them there just for him since there was an abundance of them. She had to know someone was raiding her trash, just not who.
“It’s fine. I’ve been staying in abandoned houses. If someone finds out I’m with you, you’ll be treated just as badly as me in this town.” The last thing he wanted to do was make Felix’s life worse.
“I don’t give a fuck what they think.” Felix snapped, his expression hardened with hatred for those people who were partly to blame for where he was now. He couldn’t deny that there was indeed a risk for he was watched maybe not as seriously because they believed that Pan was dead.
Felix was a skilled actor, he played the part he needed to in order so they wouldn’t imprison him but inwardly, he was dying to get out. He was suffocating in this town and as badly as Peter had hurt him he was sick and tired of being alone. “No, don’t be a stubborn ass. I want you to stay with me. We’ll just have to be careful about it. I’ll sneak you in through the back. No one ever uses the back entrance except to take out the trash and that’s not until after closing.” Felix drew closer to Peter then with a hesitant motion he took his hand in his and urged his weakened king to follow after him.
@kingoftheneverwoods
kingoftheneverwoods:
“I killed myself,” Peter admits in a slightly less intimidating tone, “I was my own undoing and I lost everything that matter because of it especially you. Perhaps you have a right to be scared, but I also have a right to hope for the best. It’s the only thing you can do when you’ve lost everything.”
Maybe he was doomed to repeat the same mistakes but he knew in his heart he could never turn his back on the boy he loved. He had never heard Peter talk like this before. It pained him deeply to hear it but at the same time it was justified. “You haven’t lost me.” He heard himself saying as if he had no will of his own. “Look, I’ve got a shift at the diner in a little bit. They’ll be sending out the brigade if I don’t show up.” His eyes drifted to the Peter’s haggard appearance. “You look exhausted. When was the last time you ate something?” From the looks of him probably not for days. “I can sneak you in to my room. You can stay there... at least until we can find you someplace else to stay.” It was the best Felix could do for now.
kingoftheneverwoods:
“Why would I use you now?” Peter’s voice raised and he once again sounded like the devil boy he had been all those years. “I have nothing! I have no power! No island! No tribe of lost boys! I have no reason to use you. I let power get the best of me and I see now how wrong that was. It ruined my life more than once! Would I have said that before?! Never!”
The fire in the boy’s tone made the lanky youth shutter inside. The boy wasn’t as powerless as he believed he was. “I... don’t know how you’re using me. I... just can’t help feeling that you are.” He felt small standing there before the boy who was still just as intimidating as he ever was. “I’m afraid, okay? If you’re lying to me, I don’t think I can survive another attack to my heart again, Peter. You killed me in more ways than one.”
kingoftheneverwoods:
Peter felt the hurt like a knife in his heart. “You can’t just give me another chance? I know what I did was wrong and stupid and selfish. I thought I would never get another chance. But now we have one and you’re just going to throw it away?”
“To be honest, I don’t know that you deserve another chance? You killed me. Do you not understand that?” It was back the anger and more so because it didn’t seem like Peter had learned anything from what happened. “Don’t try and guilt me into anything. You threw it all away when you made the choice kill me so you gain back your precious power. You decided that power was more important to you than me. I was never supposed to come back the moment you crushed my heart and you were okay with that then. All of a sudden all that’s changed? Forgive me if I don’t believe you. You used me then and you’re using me now, aren’t you?!”
kingoftheneverwoods:
Peter let himself get lost in the kiss, if only for a moment. It had been so long that he had spent missing Felix that he almost had to pinch himself to make sure this wasn’t another one of his dreams. He breathed out a content sigh despite Felix’s words.
“I will earn your trust back. Just don’t leave me again.”
At Peter’s words, Felix ripped himself away. Did he seriously think this was going to be that easy? “We’re not together.” He told him right off. “Peter I love you more than anything but... I just can’t go be with you not after what happened.” He felt his heart aching so painfully in his chest it was hard for him to breathe. “I know what would happen. I would cave into you like I always do.”
kingoftheneverwoods:
Peter shook his head and without thinking too much, or he would talk himself out of it, he placed a small kiss on Felix’s lips. When he pulled back, his face was serious. “No, we can’t go on like we always have.”
The brush of Pan’s lips against his own awakened something inside of the youth that he was only beginning to understand. There was one sure thing he did know, was that he wanted more. “No, I don’t think we can.” responded Felix, unable to resist pulling in for another kiss.
neverlandborn:
“What’s wrong with some good ole fashioned chaos? I’m just having fun”
“What else am i supposed to do here, then”
“You didn’t answer my question. What’s going on with you? Did Pan do something? You’ve got that look in your eye when you’re trying to cover something up with reckless rebellion. Look, your mother’s going to be fine. You’ve seen your parents fight before, what makes this time any different from the last? Wait, you did know about that, right? Doesn’t matter. She’s been hurt before and always bounces back.”
kingoftheneverwoods:
“I’m not enough for you.” Peter really had changed. He didn’t realize it much until now. His loss of power had broken him. “You’re too good for me. You always have been. But I love you anyway. Even if I don’t deserve to. That’s the truth.” He walked forward even more until the palm of Felix’s outstretched hand was pressed against his chest.
He could feel the beat of Peter’s heart against his hand and he could feel his resolve began to crumble. “Damn you.” He cursed before capturing Peter’s face with his hands and kissing him hard on the lips. It had been too long since Felix had tasted the intoxicating lips of his king that he had to force himself to break the kiss. His blue eyes stared painfully into Peter’s green ones. “I should hate you, but I can’t. I love you too. I don’t think I I will ever stop loving you... no matter what you do to me.” He breathed out softly, pressing their foreheads together. “But I don’t think I can ever trust you again.”
@kingoftheneverwoods
neverlandborn:
“Isn’t that rule number one of the lost boys’ decalogue? Every man for himself and do whatever it takes to survive”
“i’m just doing what i was taught to do”
“You know the rules change, especially when I know you’re about to do something REALLY stupid. Like digging up native corpses wasn’t enough to set you straight. What the hell is going on with you, lil’ peck? I want the truth.”
@neverlandborn
kingoftheneverwoods:
“This is different. If they know you’re more than that…” He had gone through it before with Rufio, but Felix was different. He had just cared for Rufio; he loved Felix.
“More than what?” Peter had admitted he cared for him but what did that mean exactly? What made that different. “I care for you too, more than anyone. I know that makes me a target but... how could they ever know unless we tell them? We can just go on like we’ve always done, can’t we?” Felix’s crystal blue hues looked down deep into Peter’s emerald colored ones and pulled back a subtle smile. “I don’t want to lose you just because you think my life’s in danger. I can be careful and I’m not exactly helpless.”
kingoftheneverwoods:
Peter shook his head. A tear fell down his face. It hurt, but he deserved to hurt. “Power became everything. I had it for so long and I was loosing it. I let it take over me. I became someone I wasn’t. Someone who would kill the only thing he ever truly loved in a 100 years.”
He dared to move closer to Felix. “I’ve had a lot of time to think over these past few months. Hit me, kill me. Do what you want…I deserve it.”
As much as he wanted to hate Peter, he couldn’t. Even now as his ex-lover drew close he could feel his heart yearning for him even now. “Stop, don’t come any closer. I can’t...” He held his hands out in front of him to stop him. He didn’t trust himself or what he would do. “Damn you. I Don’t believe you. You never loved me. Or if you did it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough for you. I’m still not enough am I? Tell me the truth.”
kingoftheneverwoods:
Peter shook his head. “No, you didn’t.” He had. He had stupidly fallen for Felix and now he was in danger even if they couldn’t see it yet. “But the way I feel about you is dangerous, Felix. If anyone finds out, they’ll kill you.”
“They won’t kill me.” He tried to assure him, not taking what Peter was saying as serious. “There isn’t a soul in Neverland that doesn’t know that you favor me. I am your second-in-command, remember?” It wasn’t as if his life was never on the line before tonight.
kingoftheneverwoods:
Peter felt Felix’s words like stab wounds in his heart. He deserved this. He deserved for Felix to be angry and hurt and to hate him. He had destroyed everything he loved and for what? Power? Youth? Now he had nothing and it was all his fault.
“I’m sorry…” Peter whimpered staring at Felix with glossy eyes, “I didn’t lie. I did love you, I do. The spell wouldn’t have worked if I didn’t. I’m so sorry…”
“You’re sorry?!” He felt his own heart shattering as it did time and time again since the day Peter ripped it out and crushed it into dust. “You loved me and yet you killed me and for what?!” His entire body trembled with rage. The ache in his chest was unbearable but he managed to stay on his feet. “I gave you everything I am. I’ve done things... terrible things because I loved you. Things, that I’m certain I’ll probably burn in hell for.” He just couldn’t stop, even as the tears began to fall down his scarred face. “No one could have ever love more than I. So why? Tell me why?”
