[clutterthings]

Acrylic Star Beads

[stopsayingwerejusfriends]

a love story

[stopsayingwerejusfriends]

[love-letters-i-never-sent]

[lifeiswonderfullyyours]

[oldhabbits]

[love-letters-i-never-sent]

[emi1y]

[jinxysmidcentury]

[oceantoyz]

[sullenmay]

Pastel wishes

Acrylic on canvas 9”x18”

Instagram http://www.instagram.com/sullenmay

Facebook http://www.facebook.com/moonshineinspo

[lylylylylylylylyly]

[lanyardcrew3]

What a fucking year.

I got vaccinated- Joshy went with me both times. Went to Seattle for my 30th birthday. Got Covid right before Christmas

[lanyardcrew3]

I don’t remember how many days we went without contact last time. I think it was two weeks? I hope it sticks this time. I don’t want to ever talk to him again. Of course I’m going to work with him a lot this week, with a damn 5am shift too 😅 can’t even drunk call him at the party on Saturday. Shit

[lanyardcrew3]

The SECOND Scarlett mentioned Trina was having a big party, I KNEW that I wasn’t invited but Josh was. It was just an argument waiting to happen. So when he picked me up to go for a drive tonight, he mentioned that he’s working on his birthday but he’ll get off early enough to go to Trina’s party. We were holding hands, and the second he said that, I dropped his hand. He said it SO CASUALLY. So I played dumb and said “is that something everyone’s invited to?” and he said “no, so don’t tell anybody.” I told him I already knew about it. and he just laughed and mentioned that I pulled my hand away and that was awkward. So I just sat in silence while he talked and then I said “take me back” and he said “I am.” So we get halfway back home in silence and then he asks, “are you okay Alyssa?” and I just said “mhmm.” “I’m sorry this got awkward so quick.” and I just continued to sit in silence and look out the window. He pulled up to my place and said “feel better Alyssa” and I just said “I’ll see you.” Then he pulled off.

If you want to go to parties where I am specifically not invited, then we aren’t on the same page. All of the social gatherings that I am invited to, he never attends. But somehow the ones that I don’t get invited to, he just has to go to. It hurts. It’s embarrassing. It makes me feel small. If the person who invited him & didn’t invite me sees him come to the party that I was excluded from- it looks like “oh he doesn’t really care about her.” It’s incredibly hurtful. It feels purposeful to me.

[lanyardcrew3]

Saturday: went for a drive & cleared the air

Sunday: took his parking spot & he texted me later to come say hi when he & the boys were at yogurtland

Monday: texted me goodnight on the way home from Disneyland (I love your laugh and I love when you blush)

Tuesday I didn’t hear from him

Wednesday: He called me before work and we met at coffee bean and got a coffee together before work

Thursday: he only worked for 4 hours, left a note in my locker saying “don’t call me too late, okay?” so I just texted him goodnight and he said “you’re not going to come tuck me in?” so I went to his place. We crossed pch together and he got us a bottle of red wine. We talked for a really long time, he played the guitar for a minute. We didn’t get into it until like midnight. The sex was actually the best we’d ever had, even though neither of us finished. He slept with me until the last possible minute, told me I could stay here and sleep as long as I wanted.

Friday: he texted me and called me the next day. I was off so I didn’t see him

Saturday: that’s today. Saw him at work briefly for 2 hours. He came by & grabbed my recycling from me and we went for a drive. Didn’t do anything, just held hands and a few kisses.

I feel like he’s making up for lost time, or he realizes that the two weeks we didn’t talk were miserable so he actually cherishes me now. Whatever the reason- this week has been great and he makes me so happy when he’s around. I’m bracing myself for when the communication isn’t as frequent though…

[lanyardcrew3]

I’m kind of too late to be writing this down now. So much has happened that I’m incapable of writing down every detail in perfect order. But he left work an hour early to go to a party where I was the only person not invited. In the entire year we’ve been dating, he’s not once left work early to come hang out with me. So naturally I was INFURIATED. and really hurt. Very hurt. And he knew because when he said goodbye to me I was very short. So he texted me that I looked nice and I hope you have a great shift to compensate for him upsetting me. I said nothing because fuck him. Then the next night he texted me goodnight, and again i didn’t respond. Three days go by with nothing, and then it’s Wednesday and we have to work together. He acts totally normal! Annoying. But I just stick to my guns and keep being short with him. I leave without saying goodbye and he doesn’t text me after work. Then Thursday he acts like everything is fine again and I am still short with him. I end up asking him to take a 10. I tell him why I’m upset and he says that the didn’t leave early to go to the party- he left early to get his boys and then go to the party. Same fucking thing. He didn’t care that I was upset. He said he would have gone to the party no matter what. I asked if they meant more to him than me and he said it’s not a competition. So I said “I’ll never learn” and he said I’ll figure it out eventually. Just suck a fucking dick. Complete and utter lack of sympathy- which honestly was the first time I’d ever seen him be like that. So I grabbed all of the shirts he gave me and shoved them in his locker with a rude note. He said nothing to me that next day. And today he didn’t say anything to me either. But at 5pm he sent me some joke of a text saying I hope my day is going nice and that he did nothing wrong and those are his friends so of course he was going to be there and I owe you nothing but I hope we can still be friends. Fuuuuuuck you 🤡 at that point you’re really just twisting the knife. So I went into his locker and took all of my notes that he kept. Fuck you, you don’t deserve anything from me. The end! That’s the end. I will not speak to him unless forced to at work.