"Not gonna lie but beast sorta sounds like he is from Florida."
“ He’s not. ”

@theartofmadeline

Product Placement
styofa doing anything
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Kaledo Art
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Cosmic Funnies

Kiana Khansmith
almost home
KIROKAZE
Game of Thrones Daily
Misplaced Lens Cap
Show & Tell
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

⁂

★

Discoholic 🪩
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@laplusbcllc-blog
"Not gonna lie but beast sorta sounds like he is from Florida."
“ He’s not. ”
shit i say — sentence starters
i decided to make a meme out of all the shit i say regularly. enjoy!
GENERAL SHIT.
❝ I’M GONNA MCFREAKING LOSE MY MIND. ❞
❝ I’m going to shove an entire baseball bat down my throat and smash my insides. ❞
❝ *aggressive finger guns* ❞
❝ *high pitched screeching* ❞
❝ That’s where you’re right, kiddo. ❞
❝ I AM THE ONE THAT WEIGHS A TON DON’T NEED A GUN— ❞
❝ HECK. ❞
❝ GOTTA FUCKING BLAST. ❞
❝ That’s my cue to blast outta here. ❞
❝ GOT ME MOTHERFUCKING MCSHOOK. ❞
❝ Thoroughly shooken. ❞
❝ LISTEN— ❞
❝ Trust me, I’m a professional. ❞
❝ I’m gonna throw myself off of a fucking bridge. ❞
❝ I’m convinced I was a cat in a past life. ❞
❝ Inject caffeine directly into my veins, please. ❞
❝ I literally have a ‘white people voice’ for when I’m being polite. ❞
❝ I sound like a fucking twelve year old. ❞
❝ I got a tiny ass head. It’s like a fucking golf ball. ❞
BITTER SHIT.
❝ _____ is the literal bane of my existence. ❞
❝ I hate you. …I’m kidding. ❞
❝ Yeah, well, he’s/she’s/they’re a manipulative cunt, so. ❞
❝ I’m gonna punch you in the fucking mouth. ❞
❝ I’m small and bitter like an espresso. ❞
❝ I am Denatonium benzoate, aka the most bitter substance on the planet. ❞
❝ *facepalm* ❞
❝ *frustrated groaning* ❞
❝ I hate _____ with every fiber of my being. ❞
❝ I will kick your fucking ass. ❞
❝ Don’t you fucking dare. ❞
❝ I get it, I’m fucking short. ❞
LOVEY SHIT.
❝ You mean a lot to me. Like, seriously, a fucking lot. ❞
❝ I do it because I love you. ❞
❝ *fondly* Fucking nerd. ❞
❝ *fondly* Dumbass. ❞
❝ You are my absolute favorite person. ❞
❝ *heart eyes* ❞
❝ Don’t even fucking think about leaving without giving me a hug. ❞
❝ *whining noises and grabby hands* ❞
❝ There he/she/they go(es), the love of my life. ❞
❝ It’s literally unfair how attractive he/she/they is/are. ❞
❝ Look at how pretty he/she/they is/are, I’m gonna fucking cry. ❞
❝ I just wanna smooch his/her/their face. ❞
❝ JUST LOOK AT HIM/HER/THEM! I’M GONNA SCREAM. ❞
MOM-FRIEND SHIT.
❝ I am mom-friend. ❞
❝ You best not be fucking texting and driving. ❞
❝ Do you want ____? ❞
❝ Please don’t do that, you’re worrying me. ❞
❝ Listen, my job is to make sure everyone else is okay. ❞
❝ ‘Drink water kids!’ I say as I am severely dehydrated. ❞
❝ ____, that’s not good. ❞
❝ Who do I have to fucking fight? ❞
ANGSTY SHIT.
❝ I hate myself with every fiber of my being. ❞
❝ I’m just really fucking scared. ❞
❝ I’m sorry that I love you. ❞
❝ I’m sorry that I’m like this. ❞
❝ What’s wrong with me? ❞
❝ God, this happens every fucking time. ❞
❝ I loved her/him/them. And she/he/they fucking abandoned me. ❞
❝ I don’t know what I’m doing. ❞
❝ Why the fuck am I crying? ❞
❝ I’m getting bad again. ❞
❝ It’s like everything goes in one ear, out the other with you. ❞
❝ I’ve told you time and fucking time again that it makes me feel like shit, and yet you still do it. ❞
❝ I look and feel like absolute shit. ❞
❝ It’s nothing, I’m fine. ❞
SLEEPY SHIT.
❝ I’m so fucking exhausted. ❞
❝ I really wanna just sleep. ❞
❝ I need to just sleep for like 17 years. ❞
❝ I could literally fall asleep anywhere. ❞
❝ I’m gonna pass out in the middle of the hallway. ❞
❝ I’m already fucking tired. ❞
❝ If I sit still in one place for like 30 minutes, I will fall asleep. ❞
❝ Can I just nap instead? ❞
Once upon a time there lived a wealthy merchant and his three daughters. The youngest grew to be known as the MOST BEAUTIFUL girl in the entire village, and was thus bestowed the nickname, ‘BEAUTY.’
WRITTEN BY ANDE.