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He asked the question… the one question I had always wanted him to ask me from the day we got together and I ran, frozen in front of everyone. I didn’t answer, didn’t cry, my body was so taken in shock that I just walked away from him while he was down on one knee asking me to marry him, to be more than his work wife, his girlfriend, his calmness and his favourite person.. and the truth was looking back I wanted to say yes the word just didn’t leave my mouth. It wasn’t like it was some big event, it wasn’t he knew I wasn’t a fan of things like that. He kept it simple, just some of our closest friends and family laughing and making memories while we sat in the park eating ice creams. I closed my eyes still sat on the bench in the middle of the square watching the world carry on, locals outside the pubs and clubs, teenagers by the chippy and chicken shop. All such simple things in life whilest I sat here feeling like I was in the middle of nowhere wondering if maybe me running was the straw that would break his back.
I knew I had a tendency to screw up friendships, boyfriends, my last marriage, my family… but Mark, Marks different. I desperately didn’t want to screw what we had up; it makes me happier than I’ve ever known. I truly did get with my best friend; we balance each other out. I’m his calm while he brings the spark out of me, winds me up to no end, snores too loudly, wakes up obnoxiously early to go for a run, stays in the gym at the punch bag too late, and just generally he was the centre of my world, made me want to be a better woman. The soft moments, surprising each other at work just because, the way we never leave the coffee pot empty for each other even if it means pouring the remaining down the sink so the other doesn’t get a better brew, the way every day we still seem to fall for each other.
“Penny for your thoughts?” I was brought out of my trance by Peter sitting next to me on the bench. I still cared for him, I’d go as far to say respected him we just stopped being compatible in a relationship. He found happiness with a girl so similar to him, she was lovely. Had the same aspirations, wanted to build a life built on education which was what he would flourish in, while I was born to be a grafter. I smiled softly at him still knowing when I needed a friend even when I didn’t always deserve it “Mark proposed… down on one knee, surrounded by our favourite people and in a way that was so effortlessly me, and I froze…” I still trusted Peter and his wisdom, not ever in a romantic way, but in a way that he’d seen me grow from troubled teen to an adult trying to be a good person and breaking the habits that I seen my parents do time and time again. “Yeah I heard… he’s drowning his sorrows in the pub” I knew that look, it was sympathy. The look when someone knew that the great Lauren Branning had striked again and messed things up. I rubbed my temples at the thought of him sitting there embarrassed, that was the last thing I wanted for him, I just was shocked. “I’ve made too many mistakes, I mess things up. I take after my dad being a tornado but him… it’s different” Peter shared a comforting smile as if he knew it wasn’t his words I needed right now, it hasn’t been his for a long time. “Tell him then…” Peter gently squeezed my shoulder as he left me alone once again.
I didn’t go home that night, terrified if I did that Mark would decide I humiliated him and would call us off so I chose to spend a night on my dads sofa still able to hold onto the small shred of hope that somehow Mark and me would be able to figure this out and come through it. I didn’t get any sleep, just kept going over everything in my head, the lead up, the surprise, his words. It took me a while to realise I was shocked and taken aback because he tried to make it as much about me as he could, not a big fancy event, not a spectacle, just us and the people we love most in this world. I got off the sofa tidying it up before I brushed my hair and tried to freshen up as best as I could. “I’ve gotta go talk to him…” I watched my younger brother quietly enter the room looking at me with nothing but pity. “If you don’t say yes then I will!” I threw a throw cushion at his side while he sat down putting on some mindless tv show. He was right though, if I didn’t act then someone else would do and the thought of that made me sick to my stomach. He was my person despite this blip.
I walked over to the garage quietly closing the door behind me, my eyes landing on him sat on the edge of the inspection pit. It was a regular spot of ours when we wanted to sit and talk rubbish on our lunches. I took my jacket off and my heels as I went over sitting next to him, him being lost in his own world looking at our photos and videos, reading a text that arrived from Vicky telling him gently it’s not the end I can’t see her giving up on your knuckle head till you are both old and grey. Lauren and you work, just be patient. I smiled at his sisters belief in us, shuffling closer as I watched him realise I was next to him. “I wasn’t saying no. I was just in shock.” He looked like he hadn’t slept a wink all night either “Lauren you didn’t come home. No matter the argument we have you always come home it’s always been like that.” Marks vulnerabilities were showing through and truthfully that made me fall in love with him even more somehow. I slowly reached for his hand watching him clasp his around mine, as mine disappeared with the size of his. “I didn’t know if you’d want me to. I stayed at my dad’s on his sofa, I can’t tell you how many times through the night I was ready to walk out and come home to you.” I wasn’t lying, I hated last night. If I had a Time Machine I’d have been using it in a heartbeat. “You text me first so I can meet you, you know that Lauren.” It was one of his things, if I’d worked late or been out he’d wait up for me until I’d tell him I was coming home and conveniently be out on a run so I wouldn’t have to walk home alone. “Ask me again Mark.” I was right where I needed to be with the person I needed to be with, I don’t know why I froze yesterday because this right here, him. The way he walks me home, always makes sure I’ve gotten comfy in bed before he even gets in next to me, doesn’t let me fell asleep without telling me he loves me and that I am everything to him. I watched his eyes fill with hope at my words as he pulled out the dark blue velvet box from his coveralls, opening it slowly, a simple silver banned donned with a rose gold rock in the middle surrounded by his birth stone on the right and mine on the left. “You’re my calm, my favourite person, my best friend, partner and work wife… you’re everything Lauren.. Will you be Mrs Lauren Fowler?” I wiped my happy tears quickly as I nodded, he gently pulled out the ring from the box pushing it on my ring finger on my left hand “In every single lifetime Mark” his hand gently rested on my face while he placed a chaste kiss to my lips, pulling me closer to him.
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